Does NC have to restart now? I feel like she got what she wanted from me when I responded, and now does not miss me as much.
bump
Even though she’s dating someone doesn’t mean that she doesn’t care about you (which is why, she texted you I think, or for some other convoluted reason). Maybe she feels guilty, maybe she wants to know if you’ve moved on or not. Don’t message her, and give it some time.
Update…another text from my ex. This one asked if my parents thought she cheated on me…why does she care?
if you read my story then you know I broke up with her out of frustration and anger over constant fighting. After 2 weeks I reached out and she said she had been dating someone for 1 week. So 1 week after I broke it off. It was technically not cheating, but caught me off guard.
Hey,
She was expecting a reaction from you and you handled everything well.No,you don’t need to restart NC.You’re doing well,keep it up.Nothing has really changed.You should follow the plan.You do have a chance.
For some reason I thought things might be changing, but so far no more texts or communication. I’ve been going over and over in my head why she was asking about my parents. I mean that is something ex’s shouldn’t really care about, especially if you don’t plan on seeing them again. I hope it’s a good sign and I trying not to get my hopes up.
I remember when me and my ex first broke up… she said that she doesnt care if i sleep with another girl (mostly cause she doesnt think they would be better than her in bed) but what she really cared about was me introducing another girl to my family. she cried to me as she said this.
i think ex’s will want parents to remain loyal to them in the case that if you ever get back together. I dont see any other reason.
I’m about to crack and contact my ex. My ex never used Facebook. She quit years ago, and I was just randomly reading the news feed and in big letters and a big photo that I took of her Facebook asked me if I wanted to add her as a friend! She joined yesterday it looks like. And her new bf is one of her friends. Fuck fuck fuck.
She requested to be your friend or Facebook suggested it?
Either way, keep your cool! He’s not you! Don’t let her see that your freaking out. That will only make you look weak and insecure.
Getting your ex back isn’t a sprint, it’s a marathon. Only the toughest can do it. If it was easy, everybody would get back with their ex’s. You need to remember the big picture plan here. Stick to the plan! NC!!!
Facebook suggested it. I’ve calmed down somewhat…It’s just that for all I knew her new guy was not real, or it ended before, but now it’s confirmed and there’s a picture. Ugh. I know I shouldn’t obsess, but previously I had all communication blocked or wasn’t pursuing it (i.e. texts).
I am losing all hope now.
A picture of her and her new guy???
Don’t dwell on it. Remember the plan!
No picture together, just a new friend matching her bf. Trying not but just woke up early thinking about her…hate that
So I woke up a few minutes ago, kind of upset, and not 1 minute later my ex texts me.
She said (paraphrasing)- it doesn’t matter what my parents think because she sent my mom text conversations of our fights. So they knew she wasn’t happy. She then said I was not ready for a relationship and buying gifts is not enough.
I had to respond…ugh…so I wrote back “Hey, no my parents do no think you cheated on me, why did you want to know?”
Bad move?
So the conversation continued a little bit more. Apparently her question was triggered by the fact that when she broke up with me, and I was very upset, I posted on facebook that she was a cheater. Well I took it down seconds later, but that was enough for her friends to see it. She then saw it and it upset her. She wanted to know if my parents saw the posting or thought she was a cheater. It seemed she was still upset about that posting and our relationship. She ended the conversation with: "Wel before you humiliate people publicly, please think about it because you don’t like that either
Well I just wanted to make sure your parents didn’t think that"
That was about an hour ago and I did not respond.
Just ignore it. None no one wants to be portrayed in a negative light, which is probably why she brought it up. Obviously, she’s agitated…let her be bothered by it. Don’t say anything else.
Yeah I mean it was two weeks ago when I made a Facebook post in haste and anger about her cheating. And it’s still on her mind? And she’s worried what my parents think? She must be agitated, good point.
I also made the step of unfriending the remaining people who I had friended on facebook who were her friends. Although I couldn’t bring myself to block her, although we are not friends.
It’s tough because I had done NC for two weeks and I thought by now she would be letting go of negative thoughts, but her entire speech was about how I was a bad boyfriend essentially. Just full of anger.
Hang in there. More time is needed for her anger to disappear. Concentrate on yourself.
Hopefully you know the reasons when she says that “you’re a bad boyfriend” and what that means TO HER. Cause at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what the truth is… because she is obviously perceiving the situation and relationship differently.
And dont post anything on social media about your relationship… thats immature and will cause resentment - as you can already see. The best thing you can do is to keep your composure, continue NC, and allow her to forget all the negative associations she is remembering about the relationship.
A time may come when you have a chance to talk with her openingly and a calm setting. If this happens, hopefully you can truthfully say that you know why you broke up and have worked on making those issues go away forever. Thats IF you still want her back.
thanks travelbug and nevergiveup.
You are welcome. You are doing great!