We were in love. I’m 30 and she is 26. We talked about kids and marriage all the time. I felt completely comfortable around her and we had so many things in common. I let the small things get in the way and held onto anger for way too long. I see that now.
What do you all think? Do I have a chance?
Hey,
You should continue NC for 3-4 months.we will help you through your next steps.she has probably started a rebound and its not gonna last that long.concentrate on yourself,make positive changes in your life and try to be a happy confident person without her in your life. You do have a chance.
Best of luck
Why 3-4 months and not 30 days?
Also, during our break up she told me she met someone through OKC (dating site) the same place we met. As an honesty check I reactivated my account and sure enough she was also back in the system. Then for a day or two last week she was checking out my profile and when I asked her about it she deactivated her profile. I took this as a sign she wasn’t looking for anyone, was cutting me off, and had settled on her new guy.
So I just checked my profile this morning and saw that she was back online and had checked out my profile. What does this mean?
I know what they mean now when they say “the ex is addiction, a drug for mind” I was very happy this AM thinking she cared about me and was checking on me. I half expected a text from her any minute. Now that a few hours have gone by I am getting anxious and thinking that she must be dating or looking to date other people now (more than just the original guy)… 
You are at a stage between Drift and Death’s door.(you can read more about it on Relationship rewind )
If she doesn’t contact you during NC (after 30 days),you should continue it for at least 2 more months.
Stop stalking her on social media.concentrate on yourself and make positive changes in your life.
@a.z. thanks. One question. You say “during NC” and “after 30 days”…which is it? Also she has already contacted me.
If she doesn’t contact you during the first month of NC,you should continue it for a longer time.
If she contacts you after 30 days,you can answer her.
Did she contact you during NC?did you answer her?
If she contacted you,you are at drift and you don’t need to continue NC for 3-4 months.
I started NC 8 days ago. She contacted me on days 3 and 5. 3 text messages in total. I did not answer her.
Day 9 of NC. This is not easy. Constantly thinking about her. Sometimes I feel good and optimistic, but sometimes I feel awful. I also think I may just be passing the time waiting for NC to be over.
So far she hasn’t contacted me since last weekend. I also deactivated my dating site account. I found myself constantly checking her profile to see if she was online, and checking to see if she had visited my profile again. I also noticed she put up a lot of new pictures that I took of her (pictures newer than when she restarted it a few weeks ago). Part of me said she was reaching out hoping I would contact her. I must be going crazy right? Anyways I deactivated it to stop that temptation. However I have an IG account with some of her old friends on it and they posted a view pictures today with her in them.
Just hoping this NC will work.
HELP!
She sent me a text right now…
“Hey how is it going? Isn’t things better now :)” - referring to the fighting pre-breakup
“Everyone has seen a huge change in me, a lot happier and giggly”
“Also I am sorry my friends don’t want to be friends with you”- some of her friends I liked and tried to stay in touch with
Do I respond?
No,ignore her. If she keeps texting you just tell her that both of you need some space and you will contact her later after some time and space.
Okay thank you. What was the point of her text? And maybe you (the general you) cannot tell…but I can’t tell if she was boasting? Reaching out? Trying to get a reaction from me?
I think she wasn’t boasting but she is kinda trying to understand how you’re doing.A part of her wants you to be chasing her.She said she’s been happier to get a reaction form you and now that you didn’t text her back,she’ll be wondering what happened to you.Thats just my assumption and i might be wrong.it may mean nothing or it may mean a million things.You should concentrate on yourself there is really no point in overthinking .it only makes everything more complicated.
Yes a few minutes ago another text. Just “Huh”.
Hey. Need some advice and support!
My ex sent me two texts this morning. They were animated icons, one a ghost and one a smiley face. This is the 4th time since I started NC that she texted me. SO I responded with
“Hi I am good. Focusing on me right now. We need some time and space, and I will contact you after that”
Her:
“No that is okay. I am happy with Jon (her new bf). I just wanted to make sure you were good”
Now I am feeling shaky. I thought I was in a good place. I thought NC was working. She went from blocking me 100% to texting me about every two days. What do her words mean? Is this hopeless?
I think she isn’t over you or she wouldn’t care. I’m going through the same thing and I find it very hard not to reach out to my ex. He’s the one that broke up with me, but like you, one minute I feel great and fine, and the next I’m a wreck and all I want to do is talk to him. I think the bigger point of no contact is to make yourself stronger and get to the point that you don’t care (as much) anymore whether you get back together or not. I think the point is you need to be in a place where you are ok to let them go and walk the I other way and never look back, because without that, you don’t stand a chance (she will always have this power over you if you don’t let go). That’s what I tell myself anyway. Harder to put into practice.
Thanks. @aamls, @a.z
Your thoughts?
How can anyone jump into another relationship so quickly? I feel like only girls have the ability to do this. My ex just started dating someone and i feel like i wont be over her for at least 6 months.
But from what youre telling me… i think you have a good chance of getting her back IF you stick to the 5 steps. She’s obviously still thinking about you often. and I think she was trying to get a rise out of you by saying “my friends say im happy and giggly” = “I have lots of friends and im better off without you” - which prob isnt true at all.
Time to make your ex feel the pain of heartbreak. follow the steps and dont contact her. i have a feeling she’ll come to her senses and come crawling back.
Yeah I agree she was trying to get a reaction from me. I know I hurt her by breaking up with her first, and she was always one to try to “one up” me.
I do wonder though if I made a mistake by saying I would contact her in the future (after we had given each other time and space). Her reaction was very negative “No that is okay”. Like she doesn’t want me to contact her at all.
The phrase “I just wanted to make sure you were good”…I am not sure if I reading too much into it, but to me see was checking to see how I was handling the break up whether she was looking for me to be upset still or okay with it I have no clue.
I guess we will see. I will keep NC going and she if she contacts me again.
thanks all 