Okay, shit has gone down over the last two days. Please bear with me as this is a long one. So much has happened in the last twenty four hours I don’t even know what to make of it.
Yesterday I noticed her being different. She made a deliberate effort not to look at my windows and she cancelled the friend requests and I wondered what was going on. Later yesterday evening her and her flatmates went out for Halloween. I went for a walk to clear my head and ended up by the bus stop, where they were still in the queue. It was absolutely manic with people and I had to push through the crowd to get back to my flat. I only realised too late I had pushed right past her. I got back to the flat and five minutes later she came back to her flat with a male flatmate. She looked upset and looked at the windows before they went inside. They stopped for ages on the stairwell before going upstairs to their floor. I panicked but did nothing, and a while later they came down again, now dressed in sweatpants etc and went to get takeaway, so they’d obviously decided to stay in. I figure she was quite upset upon seeing me and cancelled her night out, but I wondered why she was so upset, but that revealed itself soon enough.
My best female friend came home and told me she had run into her flatmates on the bus. One of them approached her and asked if my friend knew me (keep in mind her flatmates have no reason to know who my flatmates are). My friend said she did, but couldn’t place the flatmate, then worked it out and said 'Ah, your I*******‘s friend’. Then she was asked if we were close, and the flatmate replied ‘Yeah, like brother and sister’. Then the flatmate said '‘Oh, I’s got the wrong end of the stick then’, and went on to explain that I******* thought me and the friend were getting very close at the ball on Thursday night, which explained the cancelled friend requests and odd behaviour, and why she was so upset on seeing me.
Then however, the flatmate very deliberately leaned in to my friend and said ‘Not that she should be bothered, she’s been seeing someone since the first week’.
I panicked. I called her this morning and said we needed to talk. She was on a train and refused to answer her phone, but her texts were pretty desperate to speak to me and she berated me for not speaking to her, and was clearly angry as she said things like ‘‘You’ve made it clear you want nothing to do with me’’ She also said ‘‘I’ll answer your questions if you answer mine’’ as she wanted to know how I’m doing etc.
She rang when she was off the train and I asked outright if it was true. She was quick to say '‘No, I wouldn’t call it seeing someone. I’m not rushing into anything. It was definitely not since the first week. It’s not true’. She sounded very hesitant and unsure. I just said ‘‘That’s fine I*******, I just wanted to know. I suggest you ask your flatmates not to spread those kinds of rumours.’’ She said ‘‘I’m sorry, that’s really not nice to hear, are you okay?’’ I said Yes I’m fine, and she asked which flatmate it was , and I just said I wasnt going to say as I didn’t want to cause trouble, told her nicely to enjoy her weekend and hung up, as she was shouting '‘Wait, wait’ and calling my name.
She texted saying '‘That was urgent was it? Thanks a lot’, so I responded ‘What for?’, and she said ‘It’s the way you speak to me. It really upsets me’. Then another: ‘‘Of course I wasn’t seeing anyone in the first week’’.
At this point I was angry, and I made a mistake. I impulsively texted saying ‘‘I don’t care anymore I*******, have a lovely life okay?’’. She didn’t reply and I didn’t feel I’d got my message across so I sent another saying ‘‘You’ve no right to be upset or expect anything else after the way you’ve treated me and acted, after everything you said and the total lack of regard you have for anyone but yourself.’’
This was obviously really stupid but I couldn’t stop myself. What right does she have to be upset?
As far as analysis goes, with the way she’s been acting and the desperate, upset and emotional nature of the texts she’s been sending today, she can’t be particularly interested in seeing someone. I suspect it’s out of politeness etc. However, this is absolutely no comfort and I dunno what to do. Have I messed it up completely? Her flatmates insinuated she was bothered by the thought I was with someone else and I can see for myself she’s still very emotional about it. But then she’s seeing someone? It can’t be a rebound as she told me she didn’t want a boyfriend/relationship.
I’m so confused and scared, has all this just been a waste of time? I’m absolutely desperate, please please somebody tell me what to do?
