if you want her just do the same and give yourself a chance be in control and go and get her … if there is still feeling why not to use this chance into your side… however, if you decide to move on then be sure that you are about to meet a better person who meant to be in your life. … Best of luck!
But it’s not possible, she’s seeing someone; she said that for the first time in 6 months, she’s ready to give something like this a chance, who am I to deny her that?
She had tons of opportunities to get back with me, hell, we even gave it a try 3 months back, and while she said and wrote she misses me, it’s obviously not that strong, or else she would’ve come back.
I really wanna talk to her, but there’s no point. If she’s happy with that guy, then he succeeded where I failed, and telling her to give us a chance will just make me seem needy and pathetic. It’s her choice, and I have to respect that; if she wants me back, it’s up to her to contact me. Not because of ego or whatever, but because she needs to realize (or not) that what we had was good enough to try again.
This is a venting post.
I wanna talk to her, I really do. On our last conversation, I asked her if she still loves me, she said she doesn’t know. I asked her if I should throw away our one year album (which she haven’t seen yet), she said she doesn’t know.
I wanna talk to her because I want to have that door closed already, she doesn’t want me and that’s fine, but at the same time tells me she misses me and us and wanted to text me…I can’t let it go if she can’t let it go, and it’s really bothering me.
From what I’ve learned over the last few weeks from my experience, reading other people’s stories and opinions; you’ve just got to focus on you. I’m sure you know that deep down too and it’s hard when the door isn’t fully shut.
I finally realised that last week and I won’t lie I ended up breaking down in tears because I realised that I can’t do anything. She has to make her mind up for herself and the same goes for your situation.
Time heals everything, just get through your struggles and hopefully you either get the outcome you want or maybe you meet someone better. Love seems to hit us when we least expect it.
It’s just that for the first time in 8 months since our breakup that she actually wants to give herself a chance with someone else, and I just keep thinking that if I’ll talk to her I could somehow show her that we’re worth another shot.
And I know it’s her decision to make, but I just miss her. Her specifically, as a person, not only as a girlfriend, and it’s killing me she’s started going out with someone else.
It’s stupid I know, because for all I know it might not work it whatever, but I’m thinking about it, about them, way too much…I just wanna talk and really close that door, because she can’t think that she can say that she’s starting seeing someone, then continue on saying she doesn’t know if she still loves me and that she still misses me and expect me to really move on…
It’s tough. I think if I was in your exact situation I’d feel the very same way. We all want closure but sadly we never always get it.
I also know if I was in your position my friends would say to me ‘move on’. It’s probably the best thing to do if she’s started a new relationship and if she reaches out to you then things may change.
Been a while but I got some nice updates.
She contacted me two weeks ago at 1am, some sort of booty call. I agreed to meet but just to talk, and we had a lovely time.
The following day, her family went on vacation and she stayed home to study. I came over, we talked and slept together. The following day I stayed over (family still not home).
In the end, she told me, after some arguments we had, that she’s still scared of getting back together. She told me how she’s started seeing a therapist to solve some of her issues. I told her how I started seeing one too, to solve my tendency to be obsessive and generally being bad with getting a “no”.
A few days later we talked, she suggested being friends, because that’s the most she can be at this point, and I agreed. Next day I called her and explained how, since I wanted her to be in my life, I agreed and that it was a stupid move that’ll only hurt me.
She said she talked to a girl friend of hers and told her how she’s not sure she’ll find the same bond she had with me, and I was through the roof; because that’s not something you say to an ex you’re trying to get over.
In the end we decided that I’ll try and really solve my issues with my therapist and when I feel ready, we’ll go grab a coffee. I told her that while I’m backing off, she’s welcome to call me, not for deep let’s-get-back talks, but to just talk a bit, she told me she missed me and our talks a lot and agreed.
She also said she really wants to be there, to fast forward a few months from now and see us together, said really wants it so bad, that she’s eager for our arguments to be because I’m messy and dumb stuff, made me super happy.
That’s it for now. Obviously, the thing with that guy wasn’t serious (she didn’t sleep with him), and she still loves me (said so herself). Now I guess we’ll just wait and see what happens.
That’s fantastic! Take it slow and hopefully you can get the outcome you want and deserve.
If she is worth it and she is the one, a little bit of patience. Taking it slow and getting to know the new people you have become. That time will be invaluable if you end up together for s very long time.
Just don’t get over excited and read to much in to what she said, remember she is struggling emotionally to. What you have been doing already works, so keep going.
Today’s one of those days where I really wanna talk to her, since I think that at this point, staying NC only keeps us further apart. For every hour we talk, we stay off contact for weeks, so every conversation causes a ridiculous release of tons of emotions, and this sporadic outburst doesn’t really help stabilize the situation.
In simpler words, I wanna talk to her, not about us, but just in general, because I know she misses me and our talks (said so herself), so I’m struggling to respect her request for me to initiate contact when I’m ready to give it a serious go, and I’m not there yet…
Just venting I guess, but I really wanna talk to her; right now is the best position we’ve been since the breakup, and I really don’t wanna ruin it, just want her in my life.
Hang in there bud… let her come to you when she’s ready. Have you stepped into the dating realm at all since you split with your ex? (Sorry read a lot, but didn’t catch all of the convoy)
First off man, thanks for commenting!
Second, yeah; I got some girls’ numbers, was gonna meet one, but the day before my ex contacted me. I explained to her I was gonna meet that girl but now that we’ve met I’d cancel it, because I want her (my ex).
She tried going out on dates, even sorta dated one guy, lasted two weeks, and she contacted me.
Point is, we both know I’m on hold, and I told her that as much as it looks like the door will always be open, I’ll get tired one day and close it, and it sucks since we’ll both lose one another.
She told me how much she wants it to work again, and to finally ready that point in time, and it made me super happy that she admitted that. But right now it feels like I’m just waiting for a maybe. I’m working with my therapist about the stuff I’m not happy with but I truly feel like I’m ready to meet up with her and either take that step together or walk away.
The way things are right now, we can’t be together but can’t move on either. We’ve been together for 9 months and yesterday was 9 months since the breakup, it feels like if it doesn’t happen soon, the whole point will be lost and it’ll never happen…and the whole in-between zone I’m at right now isn’t really doing me any good…