I anticipated in another topic that I’ll write down my plan to get back my ex, so that all of you could read it and give some advice o ideas.
to do that I need to do write down my story…in a flash:
Been together 4 years, we are now 22, broke up on 22 June.
Acted desperate only on the first day of a pause that he wanted(a week before tbe break up).
After the break up I began the NC without knowing what it was, I just knew that it was too soon to do anything.
The relationship was great, never cheated or had big big fights (we usually made peace after some hours, never days). All of our friends are mutual and now they go out in group with him…of course, but I still have a great relationship with all of them. I still have 2 friends who stayed with me from the break up and I look up to them.
reason of break up : we had live two bad months, filled with stress from work and school and he really doesn’t manage stress well.
Plus I started to be needy, I wanted attention both physical and sentimentical, and that added more stress on him.
So when he broke up with me he said (he had teary eyes, wich is very rare apart when he talks about his father who died some months before we dated):
I love you but is not like it was in the past anymore(love you but not in love with you anymore) ,I deeply care about you and I know that I’m hurting you a lot, but I’m not happy, and if I’m not happy I can’t make you happy, and things can’t go on like this.
Then he said that I needed to be strong and live my life because he is not my world and I neede to wake up.
He mention the “remain friends” but that needed time.
from that day I’ve seen him two times at friends brithday ( we knew that we were gonna see eachother),everything went great and I acted friendly, funny and happy.
THINGS THAT I’VE LEARNT:
During NC I’ve improved myself, lost weight, wearing contacts, becme more active ( hate running but he always told me that would made me feel better), changed hair. Some friends who I’ve seen told me that I looked more beautiful that before.
I know who and how I was before life smack me in the face XD, I was a happy, funny, a bit goofy, sunny girl who liked to go out more than anything and have fun. THATS THE GIRL WHO HE FELL IN LOVE WITH!!
My negative traits: I was bullied for my weight almost till graduation, so when I’ve met him I still was concerned because I was shy, I didn’t like being at the centre of attention ecc…
after dating him those things almost vanished.
Now I’m more confident about my body, I feel better I’m better …just look at me now …damn =D.
HIM: he is very stubbourn and thick about people feelings, but he is kind, funny, easy going, determinate, strong willed and when he remember he can be so sweet and passionate. But he values friendship a great deal, never touch his friends! And he doesn’t want to put me above them neither them above me, we were equal.
His dream was to be a militar, but in italy it’s very difficult due to too much request, I’ve always knew about that and I always was so proud of him and he knows that I would love seen his dream come true.
He is a very active person, he goes to gym every day he likes sports, softair, paintball and combact( a week before breaking up he made me sign up to his course…). He loves free camping too
He love his new motorbike like a daugther (he still have to wait mid august to use it, and we made so many plans with it days before the break up)
THE PLAN
finally…
so tomorrow(sunday) l’ll be back from my vacation and I plan of ending the NC (he didn’t contact me, but I’m not surprised, I knew it. He just liked some post on my facebook,he doesn’t like leading on a person just to hurt her).
My plan for that day is to ask my friend or him directly, I’m not sure yet, to go out all together to drink and stuff, nothing too busy.
If I succed that night I’ll ask them all to go to an amusment park that they’ve never been, wich I know they’ll love. This is to let him see that I have ideas to just hang out and have fun.
there is a part of the plan that I don’t know yet if to do or not…I actually wanna ask him to talked privatly.
What I wanna say to him is :
I’m sorry if I’ve vanished like that but I needed time for myself to heal. Now I 'm fine really and I wanna say that I’ve accepted your decision, I mean we weren’t happy anymore, right? Also I want to apologize for how I took the break up, I wasn’t thinking straight and I just freak out.
Now that I’ve understand that I think that is possible for us to be friends, we actually respect eachother, we like the same things and we have the same friends, so I think it’s natural that we should still hang out all together. I’m not asking for your permission because I don’t need it, those are my friends too and as a group we are great. I just want to enjoy the rest of the summer with my friends and have fun, I think we are grow up enough to do that, what do you think?
this is my plan for sunday, if everything goes well I’ll going out again with everyone and that will give me the opportunities to let him see how much I’ve changed and how I’m stillthe girl he fell in love with. I’ll seduce him with the new me, new tonic and active body, a person who he wants to hang out because she is funny and easy going.
ok that was long I’m sorry, it was the result of my NCP working on myself, so take your timeto read it and if you have any advice or ideas that I didn’t see please let me know. There are other people wich maybe are in the same position as me, so I hope that this topic will give you ideas with your situation.
I don’t know if I missed something, in that case let me know or I’ll write it when It’ll cross my mind
thanks for listening
