Our breakup was also due to dysfunction and no communication on her part. Ive always been the more vocal about concerns and feelings but shes more about dirty looks and the silent treatment.
i had a similar situation. i always tried to talk through things but he usually wanted to ignore me until time passed. if we were to get back together that is definitely something he would need to work on.
are you still planning to stick to the 90 days? do you have any timeline of when she will want to give it another chance?
Idk if she will ever try with me again.
Im sticking with NC for 90 days.
what has she said when you talk about future reconciliation?
Before she would say that when she envisions her future, im the one for her. Then she’d waver on that and say “idk what will happen in the future. But right now we wont work.”
Ive also said we wouldnt work right now. But she says things to give me hope and then says things like “I love you because you are my best friend”, “we have an amazing bond”, “I love you more than a friend”
Shes a wreck.
that is so confusing for you. my ex bf always says that “one day” or “eventually” or in “some months” he will want to re establish our relationship but if we did it too soon, our time apart would be for nothing. i don’t really understand this…
definitely leaves me with false hope though unfortunately. I’m stuck with trying to find a balance to moving on and being happy because even if he does come back it might take years or months, but i don’t want to completely move on and close the door either especially because he does want to keep in touch and see each other occasionally. such a complicated situation
I just looked up signs that an ex is over you.
Im tempted to move completely on.
do you think that would be the best decision for you? is that even something we are in control of?
I think if we choose to let go, we can move on. I have my ex’s password to a social network. She hasnt checked anything on it in two days. Anytime she hasnt checked it, she’s been on a date. I think she’s staying with this new person. It was wrong of me to check her account but I was having a hard time and my mind was going crazy. If I knew if she for sure liked this other person enough to become serious with him, then I could let go. She only told me she liked this person enough to go on another date. That it wasnt serious though.
But she hasnt checked her account in two days. Someone has her attention. Or something bad happened. It coordinates with when she stopped messaging me good night.
Idk. Im going to not check her stuff anymore. It’s wrong and stalkerish. Im better than that.
don’t beat yourself up over it-youre doing well. so much better than me. even if she is seeing someone, it is just a rebound. I’m struggling with whether or not to let go. my gut tells me he’s “the one”, but i just think even if he does come back to me, it will be way down the road and i can’t live my life googling reconciliation stories and clinging on to hope to get me through…hopefully one day the answer will just come to me. i think your 90 day NC will be a great time for you to evaluate how you feel. i really hope you get your ex back. it seems like you are doing everything right
Im trying.
You have a great point. No one should wait around.
I wish my ex and I met later in life. I feel like we are meant to last forever. Im possibly delusional.
i actually agree with you completely. i really feel lime my ex is the one and i honestly think he feels the same way so he feels like he shouldn’t be so committed right now because he has the rest of his life. i also think he thinks i will always be here when he’s ready so maybe NC will make him question that? I’m not sure. i wish we had met later in life too but we have gotten through a lot already and feel like we have such a good foundation to make something less. he’s hurt me so much through this though and I’m not sure our relationship would ever be the same. i think to him, the more time away from me he has, the better because he’ll get whatever this is he needs to out of his system and be confident and refreshed before he commits again, but for me it just seems painful to think that this could go on for any longer than a few more months. something in my gut still tells me he’ll be back and we’ll be okay i just feel like I’m living my life in limbo and I’m really not sure how to act. i think about it/read about it all day and even when i find myself happy, i almost feel guilty for it. i really don’t know what to do.
anyway, successfully completed day 1 of NC 
going for a 30 day goal but i really feel like the longer, the better. i doubt he will reach out to me any time soon because i asked him not to and he does not want to send mixed signals, so I’m nervous to go more than a month. I’m not sure. ugh i hate this waiting!
Im going to fight for her. Im going to be what we both want me to be and im going to establish false friendship at 90 days. I want my girl back. And I have hope it can happen. I want to love her and take care of her.
Im scared but I have to open myself up and thus have decided that I do love her. And I for sure want to try again with her.
i am so on the same page as you! i feel like we really are meant to be together. I’m definitely focusing on myself and trying to enjoy myself during this time but i am not giving up on him at all.
i really hope you get her back how many days of NC has it been?
I believe 9 or 10 days. Lol I hate keeping track. Im not good at it. Sometimes days blur together.
I’ve never gotten past 10 days! today is day 1 though and actually feeling okay so hoping for the best…i don’t know how you can stick to 90. you must have amazing will power
We will see. I heard today that it can take as little as two months to completely move on. If by 45 days she doesn’t contact me, I will approach her. I want her to miss me. Not lose the immense love she has for me. Ha.
Im also trying for that long because I want to be better. In every way. More positive. More fit (although im decently fit) and getting back into things that made her attracted to me. And I want the resentment to fade. That way she feels emotionally secure with me. I dont want to cause her any further confusion about being w me. I know she doesn’t want to be in a relationship where there’s no trust. Even if shes the one that broke it. Idk. HOPE!
i feel the same way! i definitely have resentment for my ex now and i feel taking some time apart will be healthy for me as well. if he hasn’t reached out to me in 30-45 days I’m going to send him a text just to check in. I’m not sure i will completely open lines of contact yet, but definitely want him to know i am still here for him and will continuously check in.
I’ve been working on myself too. i think i was definitely a little needy at the end (i am a first year masters student and was leaning on him a lot from stress from that). i also wanted to spend a lot of time with him and now have learned the importance of also spending more time with my girl friends. i have reconnected with so many of them since the break up and am lucky to have such a great support system.
its so hard to know how to proceed when some people say it can take only 2 months to get over someone and others say reconciling before 6 months doesnt give the person enough time to miss you! i wish there was just a clear formula to follow…
I’m going to therapy for the first time in a long time. i think it will be helpful to talk to someone about everything. still trying to find the delicate balance between not letting go but also moving on…sounds kind of impossible