My ex just texted me “Good night baby. Good luck on your first day at the new job tomorrow.”
Ugh. Im going to sleep. Sweet dreams.
ugh well at least your ex still texts you 
mine doesnt reach out at all. i woke up today feeling so sick about this. I’m not sure if i should just delete him off of everything not reach out to him again or if i should really try to call him/talk to him more about how to improve things. i feel so lost
update: just received very long text from my ex. essentially he apologized for not being clearer. he said one day he really would like to get back together and recreate our relationship but he still feels its too soon (its been 10 weeks) and if we jumped back now then the break we took would have been meaningless. he understands if i need to move on but he eventually does wanna make it work together but for right now he needs more time. any suggestions for how to respond?
As long as you arent being needy, any respinse would be okay. Im excited for you. Hang in there.
Today is a really bad day. My first day at a new jon and all I can think is how I want to work so she can have everything she wants. Anytime ive ever made money, ive done it for her benefit. I benefit of course but I want to have a wonderful future with her. I love her. Im having a tough time. A really tough time today. I had three hrs of sleep because I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I feel like I could cry at any moment. This is by far the toughest day in months. God I love that woman.
Job*
i am so sorry have you responded to any texts? I didn’t sleep at all last night either. we are totally in the same position. now i feel he has left me with false hope as well…i really think I’m going to follow in your footsteps and try to go NC for 90 days and see if he feels more “ready” then. I’m not sure he’ll ever feel ready until he really feels me trying to move on…im not sure what the future will bring but I’m glad we are in this together 
good luck on your first day!!
Thanks.
Yeah. In the beginning, my ex said she wanted a year to figure things out and to be on her own. Then we tried to reconcile but her heart wasnt in it so I told her I would like a six month break. She wanted more time and said she didnt feel the se about me. But she sure acts like it.
I haven’t responded to her texts.
when did you guys break up? thats the hardest part for me. i want to say lets evaluate again in 6 months or something. a year sounds so long and scary. but this kind of thing is impossible to put a timeline on. its annoying with my ex because he keeps telling me he doesnt want to be in a relationship at all that it has nothing to do with his feelings for me. he says he really thinks we may end up married one day but in order for him to be confident in committing to me he needs to “explore what life has to offer” without always being trapped in our relationship. what do you think my steps should be from here?
do you know when you plan on contacting your ex/how you will proceed?
We broke up 7 months ago. Officially.
The six month comment was a little over a month ago. For a while she’d want to reconcile. Then she didnt. Etc.
Honestly…I think our exes are just scared. Theyve been committed to one person for a such a long time without experiencing much of anything or anyone else without us. Not all of us get scared about that type of thing. But if my ex wants to see if she can find a better me in someone else, then Ill let her.
She would tell me that she sees a future with me. That when she pictures going out,having a family, and having a cushioned life, im the one.
That’s why I want a break from her now. Im not here to be a backup. I stood by her through everything and I cant just watch her develop a relationship with someone else because things got bad and she got scared. Ill be understanding but not to the point ill pretend to be best friends with her. So, im working toward being indifferent. I will always love her and want her on some level, but I have to get to where I have hope but I wont be dragged down if it doesn’t happen. Idk if that’s entirely possible. But I do know that she has to change for the better too if she ever intends on coming back to me.
I think you should live your life. I feel like you saying you are going to move on triggered his response, mentioning a future with you. If he really thought you were probably the one, then why not work on what you have? To me he will keep you on a string like that because he wants you there if he doesn’t find anything better. Like my ex. Is that a bad thing? Im not sure. They’re scared and confused… so how can we be mad. To me, true love is really true work. No two ppl meet and have a full loving life together without work. We only find our “true love” when we find someone who works with us to the degree and specifications that we require. And vise versa.
If they think theyre missing out on something (when the grass is never greener (unless severely abusive relationship) on the other side), then let them. We can’t hold back being greater ppl and finding our “true love”. If that’s them, then great. If it’s not, we are better off. It was a learning experience.
I agree. i almost feel like my ex feels like he knows he want to end up with me so why should he spend his time committed now when he’s still young? its very frustrating. i did text him back earlier and ask him how long he envisions this lasting before he feels ready to give our relationship. i said i know its hard to quantify but do you envision us being apart for years or for months? and his response was that its impossible to say but his gut is telling him a few months. his last text to me was that he sees and understands how i feel and if i decide i do want to see him again he would like that but understands if i need to not.
do you advise i do NC? i feel torn. part of me wants to move on, but part of me feels like he’s really the one and he left me with some false hope by saying a few months…im not sure. I’m not sure if i should text him with some friendly conversations randomly or go strict NC. if i go strict NC, for how long? what do you think?
Do NC. For 30 days.
and catch up after day 30?
dont respond for 30 days.
Ignore his texts and calls.
After the 30 day mark, contact him, but try to wait till he contacts you.
In the meantime, keep bettering yourself. Go on a date. Explore life without him.
any advice for how to stick to NC? i also asked him not to contact me so i doubt he will. i will try to wait the 30 days and then reach out to catch up? what made you decide to stick to 90 days?
Because of how she believes that no matter what, ill be here. Waiting. 90 days is to show her that I can be serious about parting ways. Some may look at that as punishment. But really Im showing her I am strong willed.
Stay busy. Go on a date. Workout. Read self help books. Go out with friends every chance you get. Reconnect with friends and family you haven’t been around for quite some time. Get even more fit than you are. Shop. Take a MMA class. Lol I could go on.
you seem like you’re in such good control of this situation! I’m jealous. have you been trying to date/meet other girls? and i think my ex is under the same impression that ill always be around, but so far i haven’t stuck to NC more than like 10 days so maybe i should start with 30 and see how it goes. he did say “gut” tells him a couple more months though he can’t be sure so maybe we will just have to keep reassessing. i just hate that i can’t stop thinking about him and if/when he will be ready
Im trying. Lol its not easy. Today was bad but I wont give in.
I have had girls after me here n there but I haven’t wanted to date any of them. I have to really like a girl to give her my time. I can be friends with anyone, but idk. Dating. . . Kind of breaks my heart more. I am being introduced to some girls this weekend. Maybe ill meet one that can catch my attention.
My heart aches thinking about dating anyone but my ex.
im in a very similar spot. people tell me if i meet someone else it will help me move on but i have left all my past dates feeling empty and sad about them not being my ex…
i guess its really just a day at a time process
i hope i can make it through 30 days…even if i can i still don’t think it will be enough time for him. i wish i knew how long he would need to be “ready”