if i go NC do you think maybe ill have a chance in time? when do you think i will start to better? this is so hard!!
If you hold onto the motto “never say never” then I guess there is always hope somewhere. As for how long it’ll be before you start feeling better it’s up to you really, if it takes a while then so be it, but time always heals in the end. 
When this thing woth my ex started, I didnt want to let go. I knew if I tried, I could but I was so fearful of losing my feelings and then she’d change her mind. Stupid eh? I still kind of feel that way but I am choosing to let go until we possibly meet again and create something new.
NC will probably make him miss you. Whereas if he gets to have you around, that doesn’t happen.
Hell yeah it’s hard. My ex is still texting me every night to say she loves me and good night. I like that I cross her mind, but what’s the point in calling me all the pet names from our relationship if all she wants is to be best friends??
We are both in the same boat. You grab a paddle. I’ll grab one too.
what do you think my plan should be moving forward?
i have the same fears and i am so happy we are in the same position. what do you plan on doing moving forward? do you think you and your ex are totally done?
your ex texts all that stuff and has no interest in pursuing a relationship?
Yep. Amytime we have spoke about a possible relationship and working on things… she always calls me baby and says “I dont think it will works. Not right now anyway. We should go on oyr own path etc etc etc”
Last convo I had with her she said she wanted to rediscover each other. Im guessing as friends.
A while after the breakup she would hold my hand and even kiss me at times. But didnt want to be with me.
That’s why ive attempted NC quite a few times. I think part of her wants to get back together but she is scared. Scared of regretting not dating others. Scared of things not changing in our relationship (most of our problems were due to her insecurity and jealousy issues) and idk.
It’s all very confusing. So for my mental and emotional health, Im sticking with NC.
i am actually in such a similar spot. can i ask how old you are? my ex boyfriend kissed me yesterday and held my hands and we hugged for about 10 minutes but he still says he feels like he doesnt want to be in a relationship. it is all so confusing that he really feels he wants to do without having me in his life. we had such a great relationship with no drama. we got along great and our families were very supportive of our relationship and i truly felt we had such a special connection. i get so sad thinking about all our jokes and interactions and how we were together and i still can’t really understand how he doesnt want a relationship but i guess he doesnt so all i can do is try to move on.
You had no trouble at all?
It could really be that he wants to make sure you’re the one. He mentioned the relationship lost its passion, right? Maybe this will reconnect you guys down the road. Im hopeful for you and I both!
I am 25. About to be 26.
Ill respond w more in a bit. Busy atm.
thank you for your replies its seriously been so so helpful to me. he did mention about losing its passion but said regardless of how things were going he just always knew deep down he would need some time to be single before committing to anyone. I’m hopeful this could benefit us in the long run but I’m just so impatient 
I’m trying to wait either 60 or 90 days to contact him but our anniversary will be next week and i am nervous i will crack…i know its hard to make definite decisions and i could reach out sooner if i see fit and I’m sure he would be happy being friendly i just think i need to try to distance myself more. maybe NC completely will make him miss me, I’m not sure. our relationship had small fights of course but nothing more than minor disagreements. i think at the end i would be disappointed a lot because he wasn’t putting in the same amount of effort he used to. its really hard though. this all came out of the blue for me. neither of us are dating other people and i really thought he would have come around by now
Okay. So if he is going to continue to kiss and hold your hand when you meet, that’s when you go for NC.
Have to send a message that he can’t treat you like a gf but not want you to be his gf.
I didn’t see your post before I sent my latest one.
Yeah. It doesn’t make any sense that exes act like they love you in that way but dont want you in that way. Distance yourself. At this rate, you have nothing to lose.
Oh yeah… dont contact him on your anniversary.
have you been getting happier/feeling better with time?
Um. I have good and bad days. If there are days that I don’t have much going on, I get down. Some of the down days, I cry.
I have good days too. I find that it makes me happy to focus on all my future goals. Goals that I put off due to my relationship. I get excited about my plans and when I told my ex I wanted to move to a different state, she said “ooo ill be able to go to ****!”
I didnt say anything, but I couldnt understand why she’d assume she could go where I go if we arent together. Lol
Im about to start a new job tomorrow. That will keep me busy for half the day. I guess at night is when it gets bad for me.
Tonight I was quite sad.
I find mornings and nights to be the hardest. my ex never responded to my text with me telling him i was going to move on and not wait around.
your ex sounds like she really loves you and is confused and i think being strong will really attract her more to you. i hope she will come back for you
I only want her back if she’s a better version of herself. I will NOT go for an insecure woman again in my life.
He will respond. Im pretty sure. He is trying to be strong too. It’s not easy for our exes. I try to be understanding of that.
any thoughts for how you balance keeping some hope of reconciling with also trying to move on?
I make positive affirmations that relate to moving on from the past turmoil of the old relationship and rediscovering each other when we are both better versions of ourselves.
I choose to not let myself tank in any area of my life. I choose to move on from what was. And hold on to hope of achieving something more amazing. I dont always picture my ex when I make affirmations and envision my future. I just know I want a beautiful relationship and a happy life. It would be great if it was her but if it isn’t, I choose to keep my heart open for someone else.