so he did finally answer! meeting him in a couple hours…feeling very nervous
Let us know how it goes!!
Or went* lol I just woke up but Im excited he responded.
I am in the exact situation. My boyfriend of 5 years just broke up with me a week ago. He told me he couldn’t be sure I was the one since he hasn’t seen what other girls are like. We’ve been together since we were 15. We are both 21 now and graduating from college. I miss him like crazy. I’m trying to give him some space and time. It’s so hard. I’m trying to do things for me like lose weight. My friend is even talking me into a belly dancing classes (pray for me I have ZERO rhythm). I’m happy I’ll be come happy and along the way he’ll realize that just because you haven’t been with anyone else doesn’t mean our relationship is boring or stale. Good luck. Please update
Yeah. It hurts when they tell you they want tonsee what else is out there. I just try to keep in mind that, at least in my relationship, something was severely lacking.
All we can do is let them figure themselves out. And work on ourselves.
So we had a pretty good meeting overall. brunch went really well and it was very nice to catch up. we did discuss the relationship after and he told me he loves me so much and misses me and thinks about me all the time but he still doesnt feel ready to be in a committed relationship. he told me in the back of his mind for a while he has always known he would need to take time away from me to confirm he wanted to be with me in the long run. he still feels he needs to be meeting other girls even though he doesnt want to be in a committed relationship with anyone. he did say he wanted to talk occasionally and start seeing each other more and is open to seeing where things go and if his feelings change about wanting to be in a committed relationship but he would understand if it was too hard on me. regardless he promised to text me later today after he’s “digested” our time together. i feel like back at square one…although i don’t want to “give him his cake and eat it too” i am tempted to start seeing/talking to him more and trying to develop a relationship but I’m not sure thats the best idea based off the circumstances. opinions please? what should be my next steps?
If you believe it will upset that he is going to be dating, you should go for NC.
If you can stomach it and be “friends”, then try it out.
If you aren’t sure, try it. You can always go for NC later, but you should become a stronger person, emotionally, because he will sense trouble if you can’t be indifferent.
Plus, you are what matters. If this is going to drag you down, go for the five steps.
My ex said similar things. I couldn’t pretend to be her friend while she’s dating. So I had one last good conversation and then went NC.
One more thing:
You deserve to explore your options too. Date. Live it up.
so how would you suggest i proceed? do you think i should see him occasionally and hope this makes him want to commit? or do you think it is best to go NC and try to move on? i just wish i had some kind of time frame for when hell be ready…I’m tempted to start hanging out again and seeing him more because i feel like things would progress back into a relationship but i don’t want to push him into something he isn’t ready for either
Only you can decide what to do on this one because you know what your emotional capabilities are.
If you think you can handle the “friend zone”, hang out with him.
I knew once my ex told me about her dating, I had to say bye for now. A false friendship was not in the cards. But there were other factors as to why I felt I should go NC as well.
Hm. Okay. False friendship. But if he flirts with you, talks about a future and all of that but is dating other girls, go NC. That’s when it becomes having his cake and eating it too.
I think i will wait for him to initiate and maybe see him a couple of times as friends to see if he can handle it. up until now he has been completely honest about how he feels so I’m not worried about him leading me on. i guess i will just have to take it one day at a time.
Yeah. Just keep becoming a happier and healthier version of yourself. The fact he is telling you exactly how he feels is why I don’t think it would be bad to try a false friendship.
how long does the false friendship phase usually last?
That, I do not know.
today is a very hard day for me. i guess good days and bad days but this has been the worst in a long time…
Im sorry. Is there anyone you can hang with or anything you can do to keep your mind off of things?
Worst thing you can do is sit and think about it.
going to try to distract myself…its almost as if i don’t want to allow myself to move on. sometimes i thinks something is wrong with me!
update: he told me he doesnt want a relationship but he doesnt want to lose touch either so i stood up for myself and told him to contact me only if he changes his mind but for now i am going to do my best to move on and will contact him when i feel ready. i won’t be happy settling for less than a relationship with him so i need to put myself first
Well done for doing that 
sounds like it was the right thing to do considering your feelings. You just have to remain positive going forward, you’ll start feeling better eventually, no matter what happens.