whats the longest anyone here as stuck to NC? trying to make it 90 days…
Well mine is currently “indefinite”, meaning I’m basically going to go for as long as I can. Couple months into next year at least.
I’m going for the same…but I’m not sure how long i will last. i thought maybe 90 days might be a good time to check in but in reality i probably should wait longer but honestly don’t even think i will make it the full 90 days as i am in my first week
12 days few weeks ago, I’m now on day 1 again! Hoping to do 30 days, is 90 days too ambitious maybe?
You can if you stay busy and keep hanging out with friends and family.
i feel like i should really wait for him to initiate contact first, but not sure if/when that will happen because i asked him not to until he was 100% ready for a relationship
Noooo. Did you really?
was that a mistake?? i felt as though he was stringing me along and i needed some space
Then you shouldve just went NC without any word to him. This will create more negativity than anything. He already told you he needed space and by that statement you are holding his connection with you hostage until he does what you think he should do.
NC is not threatening to take the connection away completely until he does what he wants. It gives both ppl space to figure things out. If he feels any pressure from what youve said, I can’t imagibe it will bring back what was lost.
i still think i made a good decision for me. the conversation went on after that for a little and ended with me not answering over something trivial. its been 6 days. i think i will reach out to him 2-3 months down the line to get together and catch up
Yeah. Good luck. Hang in there!
thank you! still seems impossible right now but i think its the only option for me to move forward either with or without him!
Im thinking of ending NC. It’s day 15 or 16 and Im not sure that NC will help my situation. I just read another site and it said that NC can give an ex time to realize theyre happier without you… And my ex posted that poem that suggested I wasnt a loss but a blessing. I am going to read a bit more but I want my good qualities to bombard my ex. My absence could do more harm than good.
i think you have to do what your gut says and what feels right…i struggle everyday thinking about the best way to handle this
I think you are drifting. You arent at deaths door. So maybe NC is not best. In my limited opinion.
My ex is back n forth, up and down. I feel like Im sending the wrong message by disappearing and reappearing 90 days later. This other site Ive been reading has points that are in relationship rewind but it doesnt support NC at all. I think ill use both sites and find a happy middle.
I ended NC with:
I was just scrolling through movies and Spice World is on. It definitely made me think of you. I also recorded Family Stone. Im about to watch it. Id watch Spice World, but Id be tempted to dance. I don’t feel like getting yelled at by everyone in the house.
I couldve done better, I think. Oh well.
i think that was good, non confrontational. did she respond?
and I’ve been thinking that too, maybe i should reach out in like 2-3 weeks?
I’m very torn about how long to go. he told me he loves me and wants to be together in the future but not yet and needs more time to be single before he enters back into a committed relationship with me. he broke up with me i think to experience single life and life without me and meet other girls and see if he was happier with or without me and he said he hasn’t had enough time to determine (2.5 months), but he hopes in some time (maybe some more months) we can reconcile. i want to be respectful and give him his space so he can fully experience life without me and i also don’t want to be his friend while he is going through this, but i also don’t want him to forget me completely and think I’ve moved on. i really don’t know what to do…opinions please? he told me he would be happy talking occasionally and hanging out but not sure i can handle that and ultimately i think that would prolong either me moving on or him being ready to commit
My reasoning behind ending NC is because everywhere I am reading… it only works during a specific time frame after a break up. My ex and I have been broken up for 7 months. Spent some of that trying to rekindle but the wounds were too fresh. NC might help me better myself, amd my ex will miss me, but Im having trouble seeing (at this stage) how it will help me get her back.
I can’t afford any books so I am forced to read blogs for partial information. Relationship Rewind even says NC isn’t the best choice at times. I ended NC, my ex responded. We had a good 15 min texting convo. She told me she had to work but wants to speak with me on the phone later. I told her what time I get off of work and said talk to you then.
30 min later she randomly told me to snapchat her because she misses my face.
My point being, she misses me already. Whether Im talking to her or not. So my personal choice is to build a new connection now while still implementing things I learn on this site and the other site Ive been reading.
She may still want to date others and keep me as her best friend. But I plan on showing her the changes in my life while speaking to her. Not disappearing. And woth other techniques, I will work on attracting her again.
I dont know if it’s the right choice, but like I said… I believe it’s at a point where I don’t think NC will help me. And I don’t know how to get my hands on any books etc because Im starting over in life and can’t afford it. These boards just tell breakup stories and everyones go to advice is NC. I need real insight.
Can any of you help?
i think every situation is different. the fact that she responded right away and wants to talk on the phone and see your face is a really good sign i think. if you can handle being a best friend to her before she is ready to commit, i say go for it. its all about trial and error here and i agree either way - NC or LC the other person will miss you