Long Distance Relationship

[andi]

@Nedim
nice that you made it
as long as you want her as a friend and you don’t see that she wants more, then it’s fine.

hm… well… if it was just for you, then it’s definitely a message that she kind of changed if it was for more ppl, then it might have been but not definitely. Anyway, i think that’s kind of a good sign… maybe she wants you to think that she moved on but actually hasn’t really

About the book… yeah… I just look some different ones up and i chose that one since it seemed to be the least disappointing if it doesn’t work out ^^
I’m not through the whole thing yet but i will be in a few days
I know what you mean about the negative feelings. I’m just worried that i annoyed her so much that the negative feelings are from that and not because of the break up… but lets just hope i did and will do everything right now!
Yeah, i won’t talk about it. I really want to show her what i changed into and i hope she likes it
Spending a whole day with her is hopefully enough to ignite a new flame … or even a few small sparks… just enough to make her ready and willing for a new relationship!

I really don’t think that you should be afraid. Either they are just meeting up or he is one of those boyfriends that a girl has after a breakup (forgot the name xD )

I think you should end NC on the 18th and see what happens. If it doesn’t work out, go for BIG changes like NC for half a year or something. Try to not even see her in the group conversation or anything else… remove yourself out of her life and then if you really still want her after 6 months of not talking, seeing and writing, then you can try again and look how she has changed.
Man if i could see the future, she wouldn’t even had to break up with me ^^ I would have changed so we would be fine for eternity!

YES!
10 more days…
…of improving
…of not writing
…of hard work
…of waiting
…until we see if it worked out!

-Andi

[nedim]

@Andi

Did you mean Rebound Relationship? Well, if she was in a rebound relationship, it would kill me as well. Personally, I feel that I wouldn’t be able to start a new relationship. Not even with my ex! Of course, I want to start one with her, but I still have some things to improve. The filming will be just the very first step. She will only watch me, not meet with me or having interactions with me.
And yeah, the long term NC is the future plan, If I’m not successful. Actually, I’m able to make her leave the group conversation. I could have do that, I just didn’t want to be so cruel, because she loves the people there, and they like her too.

I think if you annoyed her, it’s just a temporary feeling. Her main emotions are still about the break up and the relationship she had with you. On 18th, you obviously have a chance to get her back and make the best that you can do. Just remember that don’t be pushy or needy. Just be cool, act like a great friend, and give only yourself - but the New Yourself!
By the way, are you successful in keeping NC? Do you know anything about her? (what she is doing, where she goes, etc.)

So, about today’s happenings. My ex sent me a picture of herself on Snapchat, and… SHE DYED HER WHOLE HAIR. Not just a little highlight like some days before, no: she completely had her hair dyed! On the picture, it was written that “#blonde”, but it’s definitely just light brown (it used to be dark brown). She looked a lot more better with natural dark brown hair. And what’s more… She had make-up on her face. A lot. Not that extremely, but still a lot. She has never used make-up before.
Unfortunately, as I’ve said, on Snapchat you can only see a picture for some moments. It was visible for only 4 seconds, so I couldn’t investigate it more. And I can’t see who else get this picture, but Snapchat says that I’m among her “top friends”. It means that I’m among those 7 people with who she contacts the most on Snapchat. And she’s among my top friends too, but I don’t know why, I don’t contact with her often. Sometimes I just send regular pictures. Actually, Snapchat can be a great “weapon” for me, with these pictures I can show her what am I doing, and that I’m really fine
Of course, when we were together we were our number one top friends.

I’ve said that I’ve finalized some of my changes, and I’m trying to put them in practice this week. I don’t want to tell that too early, but I think I’m successful. Not that very huge changes, but little, more solid steps may lead to the same goal I have to appreciate every little thing.
Huh. Nine more days until the filming. I’m excited. We have an exact date, an exact place, and I’ve started to plan the whole process. Actually, only 3 of us will participate: me, a good friend of mine, and the girl I’ve talked about the last posts.

That’s all for today. See you next day, looking forward your update!

[andi]

@Nedim

Yes… that’s what i meant
Then fulfill your ideas of how to change and then contact her afterwards

Will do so
No i have no idea what so ever… we didn’t talk at all since i said so.
But as i said i’m talking to other girls now too and well… one of them wants to meet up. I didn’t tell her that my ex broke up with me 4 weeks ago and that i want her back but i told her that i still think about her and i dont want a new relationship at the moment. So… well… things turned out interesting and she wants us to be friends with benefits… AND I HAVE NOT A SINGLE CLUE IF THAT’S THE RIGHT THING TO DO! -.-
On the one hand, my ex broke up with me and already slept with someone else and i want to kind-of-get-over her and i should live my life how i want now but on the other hand i’m still in love with her and want her back… this whole thing could be either helpful or confusing.
Me and my ex had a talk some months ago that she wouldn’t want to know if i slept with someone else so it wouldn’t affect my ex but it would certainly affect me.
I am very confused… but hey… 9 days until i meet my ex… ^^

huh. that’s interesting… i have no idea what she wants to tell us/you/them but i guess she wants to change but not too much… quite weird and i don’t really understand why…

Nice
I hope it works out for you
Tell me how the changes worked out for you afterwards!

You’ll do great at the filming!

Keep me updated!
-Andi

[aqua]

@Andi well what caught my attention is part about friends with benefit well that’s is totally up to you but even if your ex did slept
another you don’t need to do the same like she did don’t need to lower yourself like that you are worth a lot than
that but as I said that’s your choice just careful not to feel guilty after do what makes you awesome =) take your time later on your ex will miss you since its hard to forget ones we did fall in
love with. Good luck !

@Nedim well I noticed you have tried to do your best for now it’s best to just be happy for you first that’s your priority. I hope you guys feel better soon for myself still have a long way to go I don’t know yet what’s
going on with my ex if he thinking about me or not I been trying to distract myself but it’s hard than I thought I been keeping myself
always from Facebook but got curious if he text me but going to keep with NC but its
driving me crazy at the moment if he has text or not I don’t wanna make him think I don’t care but same time can’t let him think I can be pulled in like a fish I guess
he needs to see I am not a toy but it’s hard we been together almost a year and in
a day poof from one another he does know I love him dearly but will that count? So we will see …

[nedim]

I wanted to bring some news for today, but my ex hasn’t arrived home yet (she’s with the other boy now), so I can’t really write anything about her. If I get to know something new, I’ll write an other post.

@Andi

Well, I’m a kind of “conservative” person, so personally, I wouldn’t do ‘friends with benefits’, but if yo’re okay with it and it doesn’t violate your beliefs, why not? Considering your ex, she slept with an other boy, so… yeah, why not? It’s totally your own free choice. If you think it could help you, do it! Remember that the primary aim - beside getting her back - is to make yourself happy!
Actually, I have plans with… Tinder Two days ago I become 18 years old, so I can widen the search range. I’ve tried it, and there are much more girls now! What’s more, much prettier too I just need a new profile picture. The current one was taken on the day when I first met with my ex, and I’ve changed a lot since then. The new profile picture will be taken on next Saturday, during the film shooting With this, I can also show the “New Me” for me for my ex. Actually, changing profile picture is also a little trick (for example, like the one I’ve mentioned in connection with smells). On Facebook, it counts as a big event, and that shows to our ex that something - something good - is happening to us, and we’re living our lives.
It came to my mind from the profile picture that actually, the day when I’ve first met with my ex, was also the day when the relationship started Before that day (12th July) we only talked on the internet (facebook, snapchat, viber, and mobile calls). We got to know each other on the beginning of May. There was an online writing competition: she was a contestant, and I was the organizer During the competition, and after that, we talked more and more, and around the middle of June, it came up that “what if we were dating?”. This topic came up more frequently as time passed by, and few days before our first meeting, we only talked about this. We were so excited and nervous. At that time, we were definitely in love with each others’ personality, but we had never seen each other. Than the big day came, and… Uhhgr, I’ve never been so excited and nervous. I couldn’t even eat or sleep. And I felt that the 2,5 hours train travel to Budapest lasted forever. I don’t know how you’ve met with your ex for the first time, but if not like that, imagine, that your first girlfriend is waiting for you at the train station and you don’t even know how she exactly looks like, only from some pictures, you don’t know how she acts, moves, what are her gestures, her body language, how does it feel to look into her eyes… Oh my god, it was one of the weirdest experience in my life. Weird, but in a good way. And… It’s easy to conclude what happened We fell in love :3 But there wasn’t even a kiss! We only hugged each other, and held each others’ hand. The actual talk about the relationship - when we exactly said “yes” to it - happened at a top of a mountain (mountains in Hungary are like 100-200 meters high… ). I remember how the wind blew our hair to our faces… I think it was the only occasion when it didn’t annoyed me. It was so romantic. And I still remember how it hurt when we had to say goodbye at the end of that day, and we’ve just realized how hard it will be and how much will we suffer.
I went to the capital as a single, shy boy, and I came home to my city with a girlfriend who lives 250 kilometers away.
Ahhhhggr, my heart is bleeding while I’m recalling how good it was, and then realize what’s the situation right now
(And sorry, I’ve forgotten to say that storytime is incoming )

I really think you should meet with that girl. At least a simple meeting. And if you get involved in a relationship like “friends with benefits”, you can easily get out of it I think. Much easier than in case of a real, normal relationship - because it’s not a normal relationship!

8 more days for both of us until the “Big Day”

@aqua

Oh my god, it must be really hard to distract yourself from Facebook. If you’re online on Facebook, you feel like you must see what he wrote and you want to text back? Because if you can stop this desire somehow, you shouldn’t do this torture. But I know, it’s very hard not to write on them
If you follow the suggestions provided by this page and this forum you’ll have bigger and bigger chances. Don’t forget to improve yourself! And don’t think about him too much! Instead, think more about yourself. Make yourself happy. I know that you can only be happy with he… But you must find an other way. An other person can’t give you the happiness. You were in a relationship for a year, now, you have to learn how to be independent. Actually, you can take advantage from this freedom and independence. Find new hobbies, try new thing, change yourself, etc.
Whatever you do, I wish you a lot of success, and be strong! I know how hard are these times.

P. S. She hasn’t been active for 5 hours. She is spending very much time with that guy I’m worrying. Really really worrying.

[aqua]

@Nedim and yes I do want to text him back but I feel like
if I do that at the moment he
Will not miss me as much as I
do miss him he did say he needed space for himself so trying to do that and I am trying to give myself space to be independent I been to clingy for a while with him that I forgot how to be happy
I am so used to being happy while we talk text ect and flirt I just feel like I lost
my partner for that but best we just have this space now to realize we are missing something I don’t wanna push him to get back together cuz on our brake up day I did ask
him to fix our issues by talking it out and told him if he loves me enough he should do that if he told me that I do it what is more important then your love wants to fix an issue we are facing? I am an understanding
person ofc but I guess I am noticing I have jealously issues and say something I don’t mean but feel guilty after and say I am sorry I act like that I guess this time wasn’t good to many build up as being tired of it
aka he had enough patience hedid say he still loves me just tired of issues. I still
feel bad but I already text him be4 to be clean what I did and explain he didn’t reply is it bad? Or he just mad? Not sure but I said this be4 sorry it just bothers me if he notice that letting go would be worth it or will he try later cuz he miss me again? I don’t understand men so much but I do know for us it’s really love .

[nedim]

Okay, Just the very quick update that I have promised :
My ex came home. She said nothing about that boy. I’m still worrying, but now I’m a little bit more relaxed.
@aqua I’ll write a reply to your pont in my next long post, possibly tomorrow (idk what is your time zone so let’s Say that on Saturday.) Now I’m only wtiting from smartphone.

Keep on fighting guys!!!

[aqua]

Oh and no worries I been working on myself ofc from past few days and weeks afterthe brake up I got my first car (so proud of myself) and gone out to the movies and places so doing fine but still have here and there missing feelings for my
ex woundering if he will miss
me ect but hey ok still working on my self and NC. Oh
And forgot to say my last convo with him was 1 week ago(he text me I didn’t) saying he received the couples ring (i sent this a month ago be4 brake up) he said thank you and will keep this as a good memories I told him if he wants he can throw it away or keep I foundit weird a little to keep it after we broke up but
ok weird huh?
Sorry if talk a lot just needed this off my chest. XD

[aqua]

@Nedim oh no problem I am also using phone to type here
lol and I see well good she didn’t say anything about the
guy she is with for all you know she might have went shopping for herself xD (i know am being girly) but is what I would do ofc! Just enjoy talking with her when your able to I doudt she will
forget about you that easy o still think she on a rebound relationship so it will take time to see who she really will miss =)

[andi]

@Nedim
thanks for the kind words… at the moment i’m quite drunk … sorry ^^
i’ll give you some useful talk tomorrow morning (if i dont forget )

till tomorrow… stay strong!

[andi]

@Nedim

alright, now that i’m sober i can write properly

so i didnt meet with that girl yet but i’m still a bit confused if i should…
obviously i don’t have a problem with me having sex with her but it might get confusing if i get back together with my ex. still gotta think about it…
She’s hot and hey… we are talking about emotionless sex which is great but still… my emotions confuse me ^^

Changing the profile picture is a good idea!
Make sure it shows your new self and it will work for you really nicely!

nice story
who knows… maybe you can do all that again with her

My ex has her birthday today and since we have NC atm i didnt write her anything. She then sent me a message that she can’t believe that i didn’t even write her on such a important day and that she asked if that means that we aren’t meeting on the 18th. About an hour later i wrote back that we will still be meeting on the 18th and that i sent her a letter but it seems like its coming too late (i didn’t send it yet…) i then told her that my mum is in hospital since yesterday (which is true) so i didn’t see the message (which is not true).
She then asked what is wrong with my mum (so no talking about the birthday anymore or her being angry about it!)
again about an hour later i answerd that she has a problem with her lungs an now gets oxygen and stuff.
She answered that she’s very sorry and that she hopes that she’ll be fine again soon.
I answered that i’m sure that she’ll be fine again and that i take care of the housekeeping at the moment. then i just said that i wish her a nice day and a lot of fun and that I’m arriving on 15:03.
She said that thats good (housekeeping) and thanked me.

I hope she won’t sleep with anyone tonight because she misses me and well… yeah… that’s what i’m hoping. I do hope that she misses me (which she seems to do since there wouldnt be a reason to be angry at me for not wishing her a nice birthday etc.)

[nedim]

@Andi

There’s only one thing why I wouldn’t do this ‘friends with benefits’, and this is my virginity. I want to lose it with someone special, and not in a sex without real love.
I can understand that you’re confused. But don’t think about your ex. Do what you want to do, what makes you feel better, without considering what your ex thinks about it. Of course, if you don’t think that it’s a right decision, you don’t have to do that.

Meeh, I think you should have greeted her >< It would have not counted as a violation towards NC. But what you write about missing is logical. If she hadn’t missed you, she would have not sent message and complained why you hadn’t greeted her. It means that she expected your greeting, she was waiting for you.
I’ve said, weirder and weirder thing are coming But the point is that she is not angry.
It’s not a problem that you lie to her. Of course it’s not nice to lie to someone in any case, but this time, you have to be mean, you have to concentrate more on yourself and your own benefits. Remember: everything is fair in love and war. Especially, when love is war!

@aqua

The “fixing the issues” thing is too familiar to me. Me and my ex promised that we would talk about every little issue and problem in our relationship. Actually, she was the one who made this agreement. But it didn’t happen. We did not talk about issues in the last one month. It was the time period when it became more and more obvious that there’s something wrong in the relationship. I’ve tried to talk with her about it, but I did not succeeded. She always brought up a new topic, or said that there’s nothing wrong. And yeah, now this is where we ended up.
You’re right, he might be mad. The break up is hard for him as well, he is uncertain in his feelings. But at least, he has something in which he can be uncertain, and that means that he was truly in love with you. Of course, the problem is that he just ‘was’ in love

For me, nothing happened today. The only thing that bothers me is that my ex played a game during the whole day, and the other guy recommended it for her.
She never played those games that I’ve recommended for her. Actually, she doesn’t really plays video games at all. Strange.
It’s interesting to think about that the date of the filming (18th) is also the date when we’ll be broken up for 2 months. I can’t believe that 2 months have passed so fast. So many things happened… So many changes, improvements, new things… But it still hurts like it hurt 2 months before. Okay, not like right after the break up, but… it didn’t really change at overall. I’m still full of fear, still having lot of questions, and memories, dreams, promises, pictures of the possible future with her are still running through my head over and over.
And I’m uncertain about plenty of things. For example… The film shooting will be a huge thing, but what should I do after it? She won’t run to me right after she saw the video. Maybe she’ll see how much I’ve improved and I’ll get some good points at her, but she won’t run to me and say that “omg I want to get back together with you”. Actually, I don’t have future plans, I’m just hoping that things will arrange somehow, and we will start to talk… But I don’t really know Maybe by the time I get there, I will know what to do (or maybe my friends or this forum will help me).

Wow, only a week until 18th! I’m already really excited.

[andi]

@Nedim
No… i lost it to my ex on the first day we met ^^
Quite straight forward i guess…

Well… it’s hard to not think about my ex when she has her birthday and i know that she misses me ^^
I think in the end i did the right thing today and just hope that she keeps missing me and isn’t looking for affection in someone else.

Right now i’m supportive about sleeping with that new girl but somehow my opinion changes all the time which is quite weird but hey… that’s not something that happens every day ^^

I’m really looking forward on meeting my ex again and asking her how her auditions in Berlin for univeristy went and about her B-Day and all that stuff ^^
But i also want to get REALLY drunk with her… should end up in a lot of fun
I feel like i’m kind of over her because i still think about her but it’s not like i feel like crying or anything… i guess i kind of accepted that it could be forever but having a few more days of NC will help even more

Hm… it really seems like your ex wants to change in some ways but i’m not sure why…
What game did she play?

I think that you will know what to do when you need to know. You’re right that she probably won’t run up to you like that but i think she might act a little different and after the video or actually after she saw it you should be on a STRICT NC. I’d advise you to not talk to her or the groupchat… She’ll think a lot about you and will wonder where you’re at. And then 1-3 days later you write her.
Personally i think that’s the right move but maybe you think that something else is better. If so, do that

Since my ex broke up with me on the 21st last month it’s nearly a month for me and actually it’s 1 month since i saw her the last time at my place…
I’m really interested in how things will turn out on the 18th - for us both!

@aqua

I don’t really know what to write but the one thing i can tell you is that right now you should focus on all the problems you had but just for yourself and change those things but don’t talk with your ex about it. Your ex will notice !

-Andi

[nedim]

@Andi

On the first day?! Oh… It’s kind of… quick
Inform me what will be your final decision about sleeping with that girl!
A suggestion for the meeting: You’ve mentioned some question that you want to ask from her. Actually, you can think about and learn some topic ideas to talk about. It wouldn’t be nice if the typical awkward silence appeared.
Be aware of being drunk with her. She is in a really strange place at your life now, and you shouldn’t do silly, stupid things with her that you’ll regret. But of course, for fun, it’s okay

My ex played Borderlands (I don’t know which episode). When she was at my place, we played Minecraft, Sims… so something which is more favorable for girls too.
I think that she wants to change as well. And I don’t want to be egoist, but it seems that the only difference is that she is not as successful as me. The only real change is her hair color. The length of her hair doesn’t count, she wanted to cut it down when we were together too. She didn’t change her clothing habits neither, and she didn’t manage to lose weight. And the make-up on her… It looked very very weird.
But I still don’t know why she is trying to change: for me, for an other guy, or just in general.
It’s good that you’re some kind of over her. I’ve realized that I’m not in love with my ex anymore. Actually, I got used to the feeling of NC. I don’t feel a need to talk with her. On the other hand, I still check how long ago was she active on Facebook.
I don’t miss her. I only miss the relationship, and the girl who was beside me, not the girl who is she today. I hope it makes sense ><
I have ups and downs. Now, I’m definitely on an “up”, I think about her less, it hurts less, etc. But for example, one week ago it was definitely a “down”. I don’t know how long will it be changing. Even if it’s an up right now, I still want her back, and it’s still painful to recall what a beautiful couple we could have been.
Actually, it just came to my mind that we’ve survived quarter of the LDR part. One and a half year later we would live together in an apartment house in Budapest.

Hmm. The short term strict NC seems to be a great idea I’ll publish a teaser from the video right after the filming, and some days later, I’ll release the full length video. Fortunately, I’m the one who will edit the video, so I don’t have to wait for others, and I’ll also have a great excuse why I am not so active in the group chat
I’ve just realized that an other great opportunity is coming exactly one week after the filming. On 25th, there will be a gamer event in Budapest (yeah, in Hungary, everything happens at Budapest, lol). There will be some famous youtubers there, and I think I’ll make an interview with them to our webpage My ex would be jealous as hell. She wants to be a journalist, so she said that she is going mad for these things, like making interviews, etc And also, this event provides a great program for me for that week.
About the interviews, I’m uncertain, but if i do that, and i do them well, it will be a really huge combo hit together with the film

And oh… My ex was at my place 4 months ago, at New Year’s Eve. It was pretty long time ago, but I can still find hairbreadths in my bed from her

I’ll finalize and discuss the plans for 18th with the others tomorrow. I’m really curious how things will happen on 18th for both of us!

[nedim]

Mini update: I went to the attic for some old boxes, and while I was there, I found that bag into which I put everything what I had got from my ex. As I’ve mentioned in the previous post, the pain is not present that much in these days, so I decided to look into the bag. Surprisingly, I had no bad feelings or pain coming up, just a “meh” feeling. I was watching a tiny pictures of us in a frame for one minute. I was not thinking about anything, I just… watched that beautiful girl with that happy boy sitting in a park, holding each others’ hand.
Then I’ve found that blue box, that I’ve mentioned before in connection with smells, and… yeah, I removed the cover of it, and smelled into it. Incredible. The smell faded a little, but it’s still so strong.
Then I thought it was enough. I zipped back the bag and continued my way to the old boxes.
I thought I would have worse feelings from that bag. Never mind.

[andi]

@Nedim

Well… yeah… we were kind of quick and i definitely don’t regret it

So… i told that one girl the truth about what’s going on in my life at the moment and that it could be that i have to stop the contact to her if i get back together with my ex since i’m 100% loyal when i’m in a relationship. At first she reacted very … hm… cold i guess. Just very short answers and no emoticons… i think you know what i mean. But later that day she asked me if i wanted to meet with her and her cousin (female and 16 aswell) but sadly i had to say no.
Right now there are 2 girls that i met and i’d sleep with if i can until 18th. Both of them are very… interesting
I didn’t tell the second girl about my ex since i dont really know her that much yet and i’d just simply stop the contact if necessary.

I dont really know how to explain but i’m kind of fine with it if i dont get back together with my ex again but obviously i’d be really happy if we’d love each other again. But we’ll see on the 18th…
If she has changed a lot and i don’t have feelings for her “new” self i might aswell stay single and have interests in other girls
If we love eachother again, she’ll by the only one in my life.

I feel like your ex really tries to change but just cant really do it. Only she knows why she tries so hard…
If you are not in love with the girl she is now, then there is no reason to get back together with her. I hope that doesnt sound rude but we all have to accept that things have changed and we have aswell. If you really dont love her anymore then you might be better off with being just friends with her. But first make sure that you REALLY arent anymore!!

Cool… which youtubers will be there?
I really hope that she notices your changes and that both of you will be happy in the end

Haha ^^
My ex was here one mobth ago and we were in an empty flat and there’s still all of our stuff there. I wasnt in there since then… ^^

Yes the 18th is coming soon!

Huh… interesting. Tell me more about how you feel about the past if you want to
I myself stopped smelling the shirt when i went into strict NC and now i dont know if i should risk smelling at it again… i dont want to lose all the progression that i have with kind of getting over her. I think it might be better to nkt smell it but smell herself on the 18th and see if something changed.

Good luck in the new week

And sorry… i wrote that all from my phone… so i hope its not too bad :I
-Andi

[nedim]

@Andi

Actually, it’s good that you wrote, even from phone And it’s also understandable.

Wow! Two girls? It seems that life is going well for you! (I hope there’s a saying like that in english :D)
You don’t have to tell her anything about your ex if you don’t want to, and your relationship with her is not so personal. You just want to have fun with her, and if nothing more happens, you don’t have to tell her personal things. And what’s more, it’s also good for you if you don’t talk about your ex. People will think that you’re not over her if you mention her too much. Of course, this webpage is an exception
Do you know anything about how your ex changed? Or do you have any expectations for 18th?
Until 18th, I recommend you to prepare yourself for both cases: getting back together, or drifting apart more. Both could happen. The aim is obviously the first one, and personally, I think you have chances, but you have to be happy even if you don’t get her back. According to what you’ve written, you’re some kind of prepared, but you know… It’s not the same when you can hope for something, and when you don’t even have the hope.

To be honest, I’m in a really strange situation. I think I don’t love her like I did. But when something happen, for example, she mentions that boy, some kind of fear appears in me. And I have a need to get her back, even if I’m not in love with her now. I don’t know how to explain, but it’s like… I want to be in love with her again. To be exact: I want the “New Me” to be in love with the “New Her”. Maybe I’m weird, maybe I’m crazy, but this is what I feel.
And you weren’t rude. Honesty sometimes hurts, but I would be always honest, even if it’s cruel.

I could say names, but only hungarian Youtubers will be there, so… I don’t really think you know any of them But they’re famous enough to make interviews with them for our webpage.

Today, I was thinking about my changes. I’ve realized two things.
My ex said the following at the break up: “I don’t know. Everything is changing. People are changing. You’re changing. I’m changing too. And feelings are changing…”. At the current state of my mind I did not really realized what did she say, but now… What the hell? I did not change at all during the relationship. Except the period right after our first meeting, when I was like “oh my god i have a girlfriend”, and some kind of euphoric feeling ruled over me. But in the next 6-7 months… Absolutely nothing. I stayed the same. So I don’t know why did she said that. But of course, it’s a huge problem that I haven’t changed. I thought I was in safe, and I don’t have to.
But looking at her… During the relationship, she changed. Not that much, but she changed. But I loved all these changes. I only changed some months before she came into my life. I had a really positive period in my life at that time (it was approximately more than 1 year ago), a lot of good things happened to me. And I was also in love, with the girl I’ve mentioned several times before. I knew that I was not good enough for her, so… I tried to win her attention, and I started to change. It’s funny. Last time I changed for her, and now she helps me to change It’s also funny that both of my two “big-changing-periods” were because of girls Of course, back in time, the good happenings motivated me to change, and now, it’s the role of the break up.
The other thing that came to my mind, is that I must always change. It’s not just a period when I have to, and I can’t finalize my changes - because I always have to change and improve myself somehow. Otherwise, whoever will be my next partner, she will find me boring after a time. And it’s not only true for partners.
And of course, it’s not only true for my situation, anyone can have the same issue, and everybody should improve himself as much as he can to give the very best, not boring himself to the special ones.

Good luck to for the new week as well!

[nedim]

Mini update: I’ve just got a notification that I’m among the top 10 at a wtiting competiton.
I wrote that piece of new to the gruop chat. Everybody was like "oh my god :ooo, wow :ooo, so proud of you, congratulations, nice job ;))), etc. " (There were 200 competitors at all so it is a relatively huge achievment).
My ex only worte: "congrats "
I dont know what to say about that. She is still weird.
But the timing of this couldnt be better. One week before the film. An other thing that my ex can see
What is more, she also competed, but she didn’t get notification.

[andi]

@Nedim

Yeah two but i can’t really meet up with them during the week and on the 18th i’m with my ex soooo unless are somehow able to meet up with me during the week even though there’s school and everything, i can’t really do anything with them… ^^
IF me and my ex get back together i will have to stop the contact and if not well… then we’d definetly be able to meet up on the following weekend

I have no idea what she has been doing or if she changed or anything… i had absolutely no contact to her or any of her friends (except for the birthday talk i told you about)… so yeah… it will be quite interesting to see her again on the one hand how she’ll act now that we are not together anymore and on the other hand to see if there is any difference in her hobbies and so on.

Personally, I’d advise you to try and get back together with her and if you are unhappy you can talk to her.

Oh okay… i don’t know any hungarian Youtubers…

It’s good that you think about that but keep in mind that even during a relationship you have to change but not too much or the other person will wonder who you are and maybe won’t be in love with you anymore!

wow good job
but be aware that she might be envious now and we shouldn’t make our exes envious but i don’t think that’s such a huge deal. In a few days she’ll be really happy for you and as you said, she saw that you did really well which is great!

-Andi

[nedim]

@Andi

Sorry, I had absolutely no time today, so only a very short post is coming about some problems with my case. Anyway, tell me if something new happened to you!

So, I’ve noticed three bad news.
My ex is going to a concert tonight, with a boy - but he is not the boy she speaks about several times. Even when we were just friends, she mentioned that she has a lot of boy friends, so I can understand that, but meh… It’s a bad feeling tho.
The next one is not that bad, it could have been much worse: the filming was postponed again. Fortunately, this time only by one day, so it will be on 19th (mainly because of the weather).
The third bad piece of news are the huge amount of tasks. In the next one or two weeks I’ll have a lot of chapter tests at school and I will have to give a lot of presentations. These things will make my work harder, I’ll have less time for the video and for the interviews (for the writing competition not, writing is always the first, even when I have to learn a lot).

Actually, as the date of the filming is getting closer, I’m worrying more about how my friends will welcome my changes. On the following weeks, at the filming and at the gamer event, I’ll meet with my closest friends. But I know that I can’t undo my changes, because if I did it, all those changes would be useless.
The girl that helped me a lot will be there both places. She will give me a lot of strength I think.

Have a nice day… or evening… or morning… or whenever you’ll read that Anyway, I’m looking forward your update!