Long Distance Relationship

[nedim]

@Andi

I have a story with a shirt as well At the meeting before the break up, I left my shirt under her pillow. Unfortunately, I don’t know what she did with it, and of course, I don’t think that she wears it. I remember she said how much does she likes to wear my shirts (even pajama shirts).
Oh, and about the smell. I got a little blue box from her, in which I store the letters that she wrote to me. I don’t know what the hell she did to that box, but when I remove the cover of it, I can exactly feel her smell in it very strongly. And yeah, the word “smell” is strange, because I’m talking about good smells of course (It’s even more confusing for me, because in hungarian, we have two different words for good and bad smell).
And one more thing about smells. I don’t know whether you’re subscribed to the daily emails of this page or not, but the topic of today’s mail was “smells” (what a coincidence!). To sum it up, it says that you should get a new cologne or deodorant before meeting up with her, because your old smell is may associated with bad feelings in her mind. This is a very little thing, but every tiny little change counts if you want to be successful, in my opinion.

I really hope that your meeting will be successful! In the remaining time, try to change more, and improve yourself as much as you can! Remember, she will have to get the “Better You”. Your situation is getting better, and you are getting more and more chance, but keep in mind that for some reason, she lost the attraction to the man you were. And you really have to think about the other possibility: what if things take a wrong turn, and you don’t get her back? I know, I’m really negative and pessimist, but there’s a chance for that well, you have to prepare yourself. And life is unpredictable. And girls are too. (I don’t know which one is more, lol).

I definitely want to keep NC. But on the other hand, it would be good to talk to her about the break up, and maybe get some answers. But I’m afraid that I’ll only get more questions.
Yeah, I’ll go to some places. But this spring vacation is very short, so I would rather concentrate more on improving myself. But I’ll also have some programs beside it.
Maybe you’re right, and she just goes to these places to have something else in her mind… Maybe, but unfortunately, it’s jut an other question without any solution Maybe she tries to improve herself as well. Or she feels more freedom in herself, and thus she goes to more places… I have absolutely no idea. But sometimes she really goes to somewhere, that’s sure. I know it’s a bad habit, but sometimes I check on Facebook messenger that how long ago was she active (she doesn’t have mobile internet access, so she can be online only at home).
After few weeks since the break up, I’m sure that she was depressed. She stayed up very late in the evening, and one of our common friends told me that she was writing on these evenings, and I know that if she writes a lot, especially in the evening, that’s because of she has some problem (I mean writing poems, short stories, etc., and not writing to someone).

P.S. I’ve totally understood what you wrote, as I’ve explained it above
Actually, the blue box which, was mentioned, is in the attic now - with all the other stuff that she gave me - so I can’t do the same thing. But trust me, I can really understand how much does it mean to just smell the other’s shirt All these little things were so beautiful and so good to do - even if my significant other was far away.

[andi]

@Nedim

…my ex told me that she misses me! can you believe that? :o :)))
she also told me that she would like to live her life at the moment and that it would have been the best if we would not have met yet but in say half a year and then get together. because she wants to get some expirience and see the world. i then asked her if i prevent her of doing that and she said no and that she is confused at the moment. i’m quite sure that there are some other guy(s) trying to get her but it seems like she is still bound to me mentally wich is good.
i really start to think that when we meet there will be sparks between us again!

about the perfume… i dont know if i should get a completely new one or use the one i had when we first got together… wouldn’t that also be good? wouldn’t that make her remember what we had back then?

if i were you, i’d talk to some friend of yours and hers and ask them if they know anything… information is key i guess
…but don’t you stalk her!

hm… i don’T really know what else to write… hm sry :I
maybe i’m just tired ^^
see you again tomorrow

[nedim]

@Andi

Wow, that’s a pretty huge thing! I mean that she said that, not that she feels that, because I think even my ex misses me sometimes even if she doesn’t say it. But I don’t say it as well, so I’m not expect her to do that. Actually, one month before the break up she said that she doesn’t miss me. That was the very first bad sign. Not exactly with these word, but she meant that. Uhhg. Bad memories coming up…

You definitely have good chances. Just be aware that keep up with chancing and improving yourself, show the “Better You” to her (especially when you’ll met in person) and don’t be too needy or even too kind before the meeting. Don’t be too excited during the meeting, but keep in mind that it’ll be ‘All or nothing’.
To be logical, I think it’s okay to use that one which you used when you first got together. However, it is a part of the “Old You”, to which your ex is no longer attracted. Honestly, I don’t know, but in my opinion you can use that.

I will definitely talk with my close friends about her. It’s a part of my plan But i think they would have told me If they managed to get to know something.

Actually, I feel like the pressure is growing, and the situation is getting tighter and tighter. I’ve noticed that she mentions a boy often - for example, what did they talk about, what ideas did he give to her, and he will also go to an event with her. I’m nervous and afraid as hell, even if I shouldn’t be. It’s a real sign that indicates that I’m simply not able to get over her, not even a little bit. If she will do something “more than friends” thing with that boy, I would be more damaged than I was after the break up.
And the first thing that could help me to get her back is coming later than I expected. A promo film shooting (for a webpage) was scheduled on next week’s weekend, but the date doesn’t fit for one person, so we had to change it to the week after next week. It will be just a short, 5-10 minutes long film in which me and my friends talk about our webpage, but I think it’s a huge opportunity to show the “New Me” to my ex. She will watch the video for sure because she is in the editorial team of that webpage as well (and she was not invited to the film shooting, lol).
She will see the changes in my appearance, and also in my communication: I will be very dynamic, confident, and energetic. I have high hopes. And of course, there’s a chance that it won’t affect anything, but it’s still a huge opportunity and actually, the very first real step on getting her back. By real, I mean a step that she can see. I’m improving myself at the moment as well, but she doesn’t see that.

Ahhggh. Times are hard right now. But I’m just about to start my “Big Spiritual Changing”, so… Let’s hope for the best.
In the next days, I’ll also make some attempt on leaving NC. But I don’t know how to do it: get out of NC slowly step-by-step, or immediately out of the blue.
Oh my god, I have so much to plan and think about.
But at least it’s spring vacation by now!

[andi]

@Nedim
sry i dont have a lot of time today but i still wanna write you though!

yeah i’m really happy that she said that!
hm were you doing a lot with her? like going out or going to a park or swimming… something like that?

i guess i’ll just do whatever seems right at the time… ^^

i personaly think that you should either have absolutely no contact (if possible) OR completely stop with NC and start writing again like there never was a problem.
oh yes. this video is a great opportunity! :))
give your best and just be your new self! show everybody - not just her - how well you are doing!

yeah… it’s not easy and a lot of stress but let’s hope that it’s going to be worth it!

[nedim]

Today was a quite boring day. We talked a little in the group conversation with a good atmosphere. It seems like she is not rude to me anymore. The amount of strange behavior decreased. However, I haven’t left NC actually, in my opinion.
100% NC is impossible due to the group conversation. Those guys there are like my second family, I don’t have the heart to leave them, even temporarily. I think I’ll continue this “kind-of-NC” thing for one more week at least. The biggest changes will happen next week, tanks to the film shooting. Actually, it means that I have one week to make the best of myself for the filming. It’ll be hard work.
I don’t exactly understand what you mean by doing a lot with her, but if you mean that do a lot of things and go to lot of places… Uhm, relatively During the most part of our relationship, it was winter, or really cold. But actually, once we spent a whole day in a park when it was 5 degrees cold
In the summer, we only met 3 times, and these were only one day long meetings.
After that, when there was too cold outside and there were longer meetings, we went to some places, like cafe, cinema, restaurant, stand-up comedy show, etc… So not that much, but we went out sometimes. That’s what I’ve meant by saying “relatively”.
If the break up would not happen, we could say that “The best is yet to come”.

About changes, there’s one thing that I think I have not mentioned (but if I did, sorry for repeating myself ). My ex is changing as well. She told me that she tries to lose weight (however she is not fat, just curvy, and… uhhm, I loved her body :3). I don’t know whether is she successful with it or not, but she has said it several times. And she also changes hairstyle. Sometimes she sends pictures of her on Snapchat (not especially for me, I guess) and I saw that her hairstyle is different than it was. Not very huge changes, but it’s easy to notice.
Basically, I have no idea why she is changing. Deep inside I have a fear that because of an other boy, but a friend of mine told me that maybe she is changing because of me… But I don’t see any logic in this. But who knows, girls are strange sometimes. What I believe is that she is changing because she needs something new after the break up. She did not changed at all during the relationship (just like me).
To be honest, I would be upset if she manages to lose weight. Not because I didn’t like how curvy was she, but because she wanted to lose weight during the relationship as well, and you know… It would be disappointing if she manages to do something without me what she was not able to with me.

And what about You? Are you still talk constantly with your ex?
Does she give any sings or does she say something?

[andi]

@Nedim

Sry… i had no time yesterday

I am sooooo confused an my ex is aswell. Once she is really friendly and we have a great time and then she says that i dont respect her decission and that i shouldnt be to positive about getting together with her again after we meet.
She also told me that she slept with someone else in the meantime… i still want her back but that hurt a lot
I also asked her if she talked with her frie ds about us having contact again and everything and she said no… maybe she doesnt want them to know? Im quite sad an frustrated and i’d like to cry but i’ll keep fighting … i have to

-Andi (from my smartphone)

[nedim]

@Andi

No problem

Damn… She slept with someone else?! If my ex have done it, I would die from the pain I think. Okay, not literally, of course, but that’s something that I don’t even want to imagine.
I think you shouldn’t talk with her about getting back together. You will be vulnerable and weak in her eyes, which is not attractive. And you want to be as attractive as possible to get her back.
According to this page, getting back together should be her idea. But if you have already told her, it doesn’t mean that you’ve lost all the chances. It’s never too late. You just want to make as few mistakes as possible, to get higher and higher chances to get her back.
I think it’s kind of normal that she didn’t talk about it with others. It’s her very private thing, and she is insecure. Or she may lies. That’s rude to consider, but there’s always a possibility that she lies.

Be strong! See the aim in front of yourself. And remember that unfortunately, it’s always can be worse. But you have to keep fighting for her whatever happens. It’ll worth it!

For me, nothing suspicious. Except one thing. She was drunk last night. She sent an Instagram picture to the group conversation, with a hashtag that says “#onlygirlsparty”, so… At least, she wasn’t with boys. I have to appreciate little things
Actually, I’m curious about what will she do on my birthday.
Right after the break up, she told me that what would have been my birthday present, because she had said that it will be something very special. She told me that on my birthday, she would have traveled to my city in secret, and greet me after school, at my place, or something like that. She didn’t said that part exactly. What is important, that it’s a huge thing. Travel 5-6 hours in secret, in school time…
I hope that I’ll get good presents despite of it

Be strong! Looking forward for your new update

[andi]

@Nedim

Yes she did… apparently it wasn’t just anybody but also nothing special… idk… i’m trying to forget it but the fact that i still want her back does it mean that i’m crazy or am i just really in love with her? :I
We are going to meet on the 18th of april (in 2 weeks) and i told her that if we don’t get back together i will stop the contact since i wouldn’t be able to get over her otherwise. however i might start contact again after a few months. i want to finish school and she should be back from london by then.
I’m trying to be strong but the problem is when i am she gets angry and everything wich isn’t great either…
idk…
it still feels really weird to lose her since she was the only female friend i had/have. that’s something i never even realised till now…

haha that’s great
yes tell me after she did something!

i actually did the same to my ex… i told her that i couldn’T come and she was really sad and then i stood in front of her door
…the amount of tears rushing down her face back then… damn ^^ i guess it was a big suprise ^^

i’m sure you will… but tell me what you got

-Andi

[nedim]

@Andi

The fact that you want her back means that you are in love with her. The fact that you are in love with her means that you’re going crazy. Love can make anyone crazy.
It’s okay that you want to stop contact with her if you won’t get back together. I have a longer plan, but I will do the same. I don’t know what will happen to the group conversation, but maybe I’ll ask her gently to leave it. Even if it’s very rude to do.
Oh, London… I’ve mentioned before that we also planned to travel to London. And in May, there will be a quite hard period, because all of her close friends will go to London, except her, and she isn’t going because of me. I have no idea about in what stage will we be in (concerning the reconciliation), but this situation will definitely go against me.

I have a few friends who are girls, but the relationship with my ex started very specially… I won’t tell the whole long story because I would end up really depressed (and also it might be very boring, lol).

What happened today is a “mini war” in the group conversation. We (the whole group) were talking about outside changes (how ironic, what an actual topic!). Whenever I said something about my changing, she also said something about how she is changing ant wants to change, and vice versa as well. I have one example: when I said I’ll try to grow my hair a little bit longer and try out new hairstyles, she said that she wants highlights in her hair. But we did not talk violently or rude, so this mini war was… kind of funny
What’s more, she hasn’t been rude to me for a long time. She acts normal even when I’m not really kind to her.
Tomorrow will be the last day of the spring vacation, so I’ll try to… kind of finalizing the changes in/on myself. Both the changes in the inside and outside. I’m just a step away from the filming on the weekend, I’m really looking forward it. My first big chance But actually, its date is still insecure. I can only hope that somehow we’ll to manage to schedule it on this weekend and I don’t have to wait one more week to… to show myself

[aqua]

Hi Andi and sure I’ll join convo if you don’t mind and I been reading your posts and nice you got many signs but ofc you need to keep building a bond to be strong it’s hard i know the feeling as for me it’s hard too it’s been 4 weeks now after my brake up I been trying to be on NC for over I think a week now Ayer last convo I had about whole ring gift part I had to be strict on myself to keep NC it’s very hard seriously I noticed after brake up I been hurting myself by talking with him like being normal like nothing happen I do love him but more I keep replying to his messages the more he might not miss me cuz I do miss him but need to show himhe did hurt me and need space to show I am serious about him in a way but idk I kept myself from being on Facebook atm wondering if he text me cuz he misses me or have not text me at all anyways will see and for your post your lucky you meet in real life it’s something than nothing I wish you good luck and keep fitghing for the one you love but make sure she treat you good be4 getting back with her =)

[andi]

@Nedim

I feel so broken…
2 Days ago in the evening we had a talk and i asked her about the “if only she could now live her life and in 6 months she could meet me” thing and she said that we’ll talk about it the next day. that was fine with me so i went to bed and in the morning i texted her and she told me that she thinks that it might be better if we wouldn’t talk for a day. I just said that’s okay with me and minded my own buissnes. During that day i realised that she needs space to start missing me - i dont know why i didn’t understand that earlier -.-
so late at night i wrote her. she was mad at me that i wrote her since we wanted to have no contact for that day which i just forgot in this moment >.<
then i told her that i accept the breakup and that i’m glad that i can now work on myself. I told her that i need time and space appart from her in order to know if i really still want the realtionship and that this is good for both of us. I told her that since i already have the ticket we will see us on the 18th of april if she wants to. I told her that i can not be friends with her at the moment and i just have to find out what i really want.
She then answered quite angry that i dont have to come on the 18th and i should send her stuff via mail and she pays for it. (i think i pushed her in a corner )
i then said that i still want to visit her and that i will do so.
she replied that she has enough of my “mood swings” and that she’s tired of it. (wich i understand… that also why i have NC now again till 18th)
I told her that i understand how she feels and why she is angry right now but i told her that i’m not satisfied with having a friendship with her right now and that that’s what the distance is now good for.
I told her that i understand that she had to suffer from a lot of psychological pain in the relationship and that she just couldn’t hold it anymore. I told her that continuing with this relationship wouldn’t work out and we would just have the same problems again after some time. So i told her that i now want to think about everything and if i would like to start a NEW relationship with her or if i think that we are better off with being single and THEN i might be able to be just friends with her since a friendship just wouldn’t work out if i still want her as my girlfriend.
she just said “alright” so i asked her if she wants to say something or if she has any questions and she replied with “Leave me alone. enough already”
and since then i didnt write her.
i hope i didn’t make it worse but i think i would have been better off with not doing that till 18th and then do it if it didn’t work out but well… now it’s too late :I
i just hope that she’ll miss me till 18th and i want to be going around with her as a friend on the 18th. I want to be leading the way to some places and i want to be energetic and going forwards! if things turn bad i’ll just have to leave and if things go fine… who knows
anyhow… if she isn’t my gf again after 18th i will continue NC until summer.
i stopped smelling her shirt since it won’t let me move one but I MISS HER SOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
…sorry…
i feel like i’d like to fall in a coma and wake up in idk… 1-2 months again… just to let time pass since it’s soooo freaking difficult to not contact her or think about her
…expecially at night when i’m trying to fall asleep… i miss her touch, her sounds of breathing and her voice. i even miss arguing with her since afterwards we always hugged each other and told us that we love us… i can’t wait till the 18th and now there’s also so much to do for school and i just can’t focus…
i need to do positive stuff and think positive… i do a lot of sports now and now i’ll also start to learn more again! i hope i get a good amount of positive feedback from school etc.
I need to keep myself pumped and full of energy and then release the energy while doing something useful!

@aqua
hey, no i don’t mind at all!
the more people the better, right?
I think he needs some time appart aswell as my ex. Just try to keep up NC as good as possible! he need to notice that you aren’t in his life anymore if he really breaks up with you! that’s also what i struggled with…
If he writes you, answer him kindly but not tooooo friendly. DONT talk about emotions and if possible, you should stop the conversation, not him!
keeping yourself away from FB is good!
…well we’ll see how the meeting will end up :I
i hope for the best! - for all of us

-Andi

[nedim]

@Andi

Yeah, make her missing you is the second aim of NC (the first is the changes and improvements in yourself). And to be honest, you’ve realized it a little bit too late. But keep in mind that it’s never too late! You still have chances in my opinion.
I think you’ve talked too much with her. She knows that you want to get back together, and that makes you vulnerable in her eyes. You have to accepts that there will be unsaid words and thoughts, and unanswered questions - even if it’s really hard to cope with it. You can’t talk about anything with her, you should make borders and limits. We’ve been broken up for one and a half month, and I’m just having more and more questions. But that NC for you will definitely be advantageous. You may know that I personally prefer long NCs, but the shorter one, until 18th will be good enough.
What you said about new relationship is really really true. Consider the possible reuniting as a new relationship, not as a restart of the old one. If you get back together, it will be funny to say that you had one girlfriend and two relationships

My ex sent me a picture a picture of her new hair, on Snapchat. It’s a little bit shorter, and she has a very tiny highlighted part (light brown), so nothing extreme. And yeah, it will be rude to say that, but as I could see it from the picture… Her attempt to lose weight is not really successful >.< Actually, it was the first picture of her since the break up in which I could see her full body. However, she can still melt my heart, and the feeling when I realize that this pretty, beautiful girl is not mine anymore is killing me inside. It’s especially bad when my phone shows up pictures of me and her, in which we’re hugging, making silly faces, etc. (If I open the gallery, it randomly put some pictures to the top) Yes, I should delete these pictures, but there are so many, and whenever I start to select them I must see all of them, and because of it I always end up crying. And I’m also lazy.
Actually, that’s all what happened today. I’ve finalized my changes, and I’ll put them in practice tomorrow in school.
And the nights are very bad for me as well I still remember how I walked into my room after showering, and how she waited for me in my bed… Oh my god, the way she looked at me at those nights, when I pulled the blanket onto ourselves and then I lay beside her, and I could see the love, sweetness and sexiness in her eyes…I’ll remember that look forever I think.
I still love her so much and I want to feel these things again soooo badly. But I’m very afraid of how can we get back together. I don’t even know that whether she believes in restart or not. The story of my sister is always in my mind. She was 16 when she started dating with her boyfriend. He was her first love. They were together for one or two years, then they broke up. They were separated for half year. They absolutely didn’t talk to each other. It was something like a half year long NC. And then, the plot twist comes: After that half year, they successfully reunited, and they had their wedding 2 months ago Ten years passed since the first date, and eight years passed since the reconciliation, now they’re both 26 years old. So I absolutely believe that getting back together can be successful
But, about that wedding… I think I haven’t mentioned it, so, storytime comes again.
There were two things that literally killed me mentally after our break up.
The first is the night after the break up. I’ve said that I was the one who traveled to her city. The break up happened early in the night, okay, no problem with that. I could have reach the last train to my city. But she wanted me to stay!!! She said that she doesn’t want to worry for me, because traveling at late night can be dangerous, etc. (I always traveled with a transfer, so by the time I would have reached my second train, from the capital to my city, it would have been late night).
So, she wanted me to stay there and sleep with her. It was the worst and the most awkward sleeping ever. Imagine that you are sleeping with a girl, in a common bed, and under separated blankets. But that girl is the girl you love so much, and she’s just your ex now! And you can’t even hug or touch her.
I did not sleep at all, of course, I was awake all night. That was the worst suffering in my life. Thoughts, memories and unsaid words were running through my head all night. I was crying and shivering all night. There was one friend of mine, who helped me (on Facebook), but she had to go to sleep at 1 AM, so I was there with no help until 6 AM. I think I’ve mentioned her before. She was the one who helped me through the hardest times, the first days of the break up, and I can’t tell how grateful am I to her. By the way, she will be there at the film shooting, on the weekend.
And yeah, that was the first thing. The second is the wedding. It occurred exactly two days after the break up. She was invited to the wedding, and that would be the time when I would have introduced her to my whole family (except my parents of course, they knew her before). Going to a wedding with a broken heart is bad enough. But imagine that it’s your sister’s wedding, and all of your family members are waiting for your girlfriend, asking questions where is she, why didn’t she come, and you have to answer that she’s sick, because if you tell the truth it would be really embarrassing, and you would end up crying. And what’s more, when my sister walked down the aisles, to her husband, that song was played what was our favorite song with my girlfriend. I know, it sound like a bad movie or a tragedy, but it’s actually happened to me.
Ugghhr. These were the darkest days. She can’t even estimate or guess about how huge pain did she cause to me. It’s like she stabs me with a knife (=break up), then she rolls the knife in my heart (=last night and wedding).
So, yeah… I hope it’s easy to understand why I need a long period of recovery

@aqua

Hi there!
NC is very hard, I know. Especially in the beginning. But use this time as a chance to live your life and improve yourself. Both your personality and your look.
Also keep in mind that if he misses you, he won’t tell it. What’s more, it’ possible that he will say that he doesn’t miss you at all. But it’s a lie. If he ever says things like that, he misses you in the inside, he just doesn’t want to be seen as vulnerable, and he wants to hive the feeling that the break up was absolutely a good decision - however, it might be not.
If you follow the suggestions in this webpage, it’ll be more and more easy to get her back. I’m a very pessimist person unfortunately, so I have to tell you that you have to prepare yourself, because the hardest times are yet to come. Yeah, it will be hard as hell. Coping with NC, try not to think about him, etc… But if you’re successful, and you’ll manage to get your ex back… You’ll think that it definitely worth it!
Just see the aim in front of yourself. He means a lot for you. There was something wrong in your relationship. You have to improve yourself, became a “Better You”, to be able to reignite that spark.
I wish the bests for you!

P. S. Sorry if this long post was boring ><

[nedim]

Ahhhggrr. I know that I always wait a reply before I post something new, but I must write to somewhere, because I feel like my fear and my nerves are eating me up
My feelings are fluctuating. Sometimes I feel that I have a lot of chance, but in the other hand, sometimes I feel that I’ve already lost her and I have zero chances.

As I’ve mentioned, her hobby is writing. She sent me a poem, and asked out my opinion. The most important part of the poem:
“… I’m able to see the two paths in front of me:
One shouts into my ears, that he’s the one I’ve searched, and my emotions want him, and I could live with him in a way what I could be happy again.
The other just calls me, seducing me, because me and him both know, that the solid path is the one without any obstacles and potholes…”
Pretty quick and negligent translation, I know, but… What the fuck does it mean??? Is it something like “An other guy vs. Me?”. I’m afraid as hell. On the other hand, she said before that usually she doesn’t write about her own feelings. The question is that is it about her feelings, or just a fiction?
Ahhhhh. As I’ve said before, just more and more and more and more and more and mooooore questions are getting in my way. It’s getting harder every time. Doesn’t matter. I will fight for her forever.

[aqua]

Hehe yea you could be right about good decisions part but I still feel like this could have worked by talking out our issue and ofc fixing it Iam stubborn type but if it’s serious I always tend to listen and resolve it but I think it’s good to have space between us both since we been smothering one another towards bad parts need a chance to cool off I guess and yea he means a lot to me since he been there through my other brake up I had and he was the one I trust to talk to about it saying I am worth a lot he always worries about me and trys to make me smile when I was sad we never met in real life like you guys have with your ex’s cuz we are very apart but we did Skype a lot (i don’t ever show myself how I look like to just anyone and he first bf online to see how I look like ) let’s say we met in an online game but feelings and trust was important to us and ofc we both had big plans to see one another in real life was hard for him to visit me yet due to being a foreigner from Brazil I haven’t meet anyone that strongly towards how I felt for him so yea it’s hard after the brake up but th feelings and trust we had are very real. I am jealous of you guys at least you met em in real life tehe but don’t worry not saying it’s bad just keep trying to fight for the one you love just shows you love em but ofc build a bond slowly so won’t push em to hard they be annoyed. I hope my little story wasn’t to bad on the meaning to this.

[aqua]

Oh and @Andi and @Nedim thanks for the kind words I did needed them since I am in phase at the moment. I hope to hear from your opinions and ofc I’ll tell you mines towards the what you post ^^ oh and I am working on myself so problem it’s hard yes but giving it a try and about your post Nedim the poem to me seems like she trying to get a point like she wants to be happy with the guy she holds dear to and other is saying there are things to work out like issues between em? If I am bad on explanation sorry that’s whatit saids to me when I read it I could be wrong but in other words since shows you love her just keep trying to bond with her but make sure you work on yourself as well .

[andi]

@Nedim

I hope it wasn’t too late!
Actually i was desperate enough to buy a book (something like relationship rewind but in german) and it gave me the answers i already had in front of me but just didn’t see. Now i hope that she’ll miss me a lot (is it bad to wish for that since she has bad feelings then? :I ) and i want to meet her on the 18th with a lot of energy and willpower. Like i said, i want to lead the way to the places that we go, always grabbing her hand and more or less “pull” her to show how much i want to see and experience with her again. I also want to NOT talk about the relationship during that time but just have a lot of fun and look her in the eyes like a grandfather does with his wife of 50 years… you know what i mean… i think then i’ll be able to see if she still has the same look for me.
Dont worry… i won’t talk to her till the 18th unless it’s something about the meeting or something really important but i will definetly NOT talk about the relationship unless she makes it clear that she decided that she misses me or something like that.
Yes i hope that we get together in the new relationship and then we can make fun of each other by saying that our exes were really weird and douchy and idk what but the sex was great… haha Let’s hope that we’ll be able to do so !

Was the picture only for you?
It’s good for you if she wasn’t able to change her weight… that means that she couldn’t move on (yet). Do yourself a favor and don’t delete the pictures… if you want to you can move them away in a different folder so you don’t have to see them all the time but believe me… you are going to wish you hadn’t deleted them if you do!

The story of your sister is really nice and should give all of us a lot of hope! :))

Oh my god… i’m so sorry for you… that must have been the worst thing ever… i can imagine how much pain you felt. I don’t want to hurt you but i think it was the wrong decission that you told your family that she was “sick”. Obviously you can’t change it now but still… you should have told them that you broke up… i know that it would have been really hard but that would have been the very first step.
I guess none of our exes can imagine the pain that we went and are still going trough…

Don’t worry… just write whenever you feel like it!!
It helps to write all that stuff down

hmmm … this poem is really quite interesting but i think she was talking about herself and you. I think after the video that you are going to film, you should start to talk to her and talk about the changes that would need to happen in order to have a relationship again
I feel like she is afraid that if she comes back and you two come together again that there will be the very same problems again.
Obviously a relationship isn’t a street without potholes but it can be if both of you work on it!

KEEP ON FIGHTING UNTIL YOU DONT FEEL LIKE IT ANYMORE!
If you want her back - FIGHT!

@aqua
no problem
we are all expiriencing the same problems and we are here to help eachother and ourselves!
it’s really important to understand when to give your ex the space he/she needs and when to be there for her… it also takes quite some luck i guess… :I

best of luck to all of us and let’s keep being strong!!
IT WILL BE WORTH IT

-Andi (sorry for any typos or weird sentences… i’m already quite tired ^^ … 01:27 AM )

[andi]

argh… i need to get something off my chest aswell already…
it’s nice to talk to some other girls and it’s also quite some fun but some of them start to bore me so badly and deep down in my heart i miss my ex so much…
still 10 days untill we meet and probably 9 until i talk to her again so she knows when i arrive … 10 very long and heart-crushing days…

[nedim]

Ahhhggrr. My s*** computer crashed and my post that I’ve started to type was deleted I’ve almost finished it.
I don’t really have a lot of time, so only a really short post for now:
Today I have my birthday. My ex greeted me in the group conversation at night (just right now). The first to greet me was a very close friends of mine, however, the girl that I’ve mentioned that how grateful am I to her, said that she wanted to be the first to greet me but she didn’t manage to stay up until midnight. We have something like a game: we always try to be the very first to greet each other on our birthdays She was only successful once, and I’ve been successful for 3 years in a row.

Aaaand the worst piece of news for today: The video filming was postponed :((((( One more week. One more week of NC. I’ll die. And my ex will meet a suspicious guy on this Friday. The situation is getting tighter and tighter.

I’ll come with a longer post, but maybe only tomorrow.
Keep on fighting guys!!! Don’t give up your dreams, don’t give up on your only one!

[andi]

@Nedim

I have the feeling that this other girl likes you? ^^
Or are you two really just friends?

1 more week is hard but you can do it. Just focus a lot on school and hobbies!!
Don’t be afraid of this guy… he won’t stand a chance when you show up

-Andi

[nedim]

Huh. I finally have time for a longer post.
To be honest, I don’t know. I may never know. But if I had to give a straight answer, I would say that she’s obviously not. But she is my very best friend. Once I deactivated my facebook. I wanted to stay deactivated for 4 days, but after one and a half day, she was the first one who started worry about me so much that she called me on phone and asked me what happened and what’s wrong. Actually, a few more people missed me and worried about me as well. That was the point when I realized who are the most important people in my life, who really care about me.
Actually, 2 years ago, that girl was my crush >< But I’ve heard that she doesn’t support long distance relationships. And I’ve also heard that she finds it hard to express her feelings, for example if she is in love with someone.
I still find her attractive, but I’m no longer in love with her. But there’s one thing I know for sure: she’s definitely my very best friend

Considering the picture, I don’t know to who else did she send it, Snapchat does not show it But it was just an average, girly “omg new haircut” picture. By the way, I think she looked better with longer hair.

The book was a pretty good idea for you. I actually bought Relationship Rewind >< I’m not that kind of person who buys things like this on the internet but I was very afraid right after the break up, I had to grab every chance. But it wasn’t a bad decision overall.
It might sound weird, but if she has negative feelings, it’s much better than having no feelings at all. If she has emotions, you can influence them, but if she is totally insensitive, there’s nothing on which you can make an impact.
I think you shouldn’t talk about the relationship with her. Neither before the meeting, nor at/after the meeting. If you mention it, she will think about the old relationship, which is associated with bad things in her mind, and then she will put up her defenses, and push you away from herself. You have to get really close to her again as a friend, and a soulmate - but not as a lover yet. You have to make her think about something new, associated with the “New You”, the “Better You”, and the good experiences after the break up. But of course, it doesn’t work in a conscious way, she won’t say to herself at a random time that “hmm, there should be a new relationship”. You have to be the one who gives her that feeling. It’s hard to explain but I hope you understand it. It’ like: You don’t have to reignite the old fire, you have to make a new spark.

I don’t know whether I should be afraid of that guy or not. They’ve been knowing each other for one or two years, and there was nothing between them. And it would be a long distance relationship as well. Not as much distance as ours was, but still an other LDR. The boy lives in the capital, my ex lives 100km away and 1,5 hours of traveling from him. However, it’s much fewer than ours. We had 250km and 5-6 hours of traveling.
Actually, I don’t know what to think or what to feel. I’m afraid of everything. Especially of this guy.
The situation is so tight and I’m so frustrated. The film shooting will be on next week’s Saturday. I hope it won’t be too late. I have to give the very best of me on that day.
This page and the daily mails say that I should only end NC if I’ve accepted the fact that I might lose her forever. But actually, I absolutely not accepted that. So if the worst possible case happened, I would be at least as broken as I was after the break up. But I have to end NC, because I feel like I’m running out of time. And the risk of end NC is so high. But if the best possible thing happens… I’ll totally think it is worth it. But i can’t see the future unfortunately
Keep hoping for the best.

Stay strong! We have to cope with hard times. Keep fighting for the aim! For her!

P. S. If you’ll meet with your ex, we’ll both have our “big day” on the same date (18th).