Today was rough. Really missing him today. A part of me is worried too… he’s depressed and isolating himself. I’m not sure what to do.
I’m not sure what I can do to focus on myself.
I met a guy while I was at a friend’s birthday last weekend. He wants to go out tomorrow… I can’t help but feel scared.
Just remember your ex misses you too.
Going on the date is up to you. It might give you some perspective and make you feel better. But don’t force yourself if your not up to it.
How do you know he misses me? I can’t help but take it personal right now. Like he’s relieved I’m gone.
This guy knows I just got out of a relationship. So… Maybe just meeting someone new will help me focus on myself?
This is from Kevin (the guy who created this site):
Take it from me. If you two had any sort of meaningful
relationship, then he is still thinking about you
and he still really likes you.
Men CANNOT get over a relationship so easily. Take it from
a guy. It is impossible for us to forget about a women we’ve been
together with.
**Also this is from him:
Okay, here is the thing. Whenever you feel like you
are obsessing over him and are sort of losing your
mind over him; I want you to say this to yourself.
“HE IS STILL THINKING ABOUT ME”
Now you can argue with me and say, he looks happy on
his facebook profile and it looks like he is
having the time of his life.
And I’ll still say he is not over you and is still
thinking about you. A LOT. If not all the time.
And all that facebook status update and looking all
cheerful and happy. I’ve got news for you.
THAT’S ALL AN ACT.
This is what gets me through every single day of NC. This mindset. Remember absence makes the heart grow fonder and time heals all wounds.
I’d say go on the date if you think it will help you focus on yourself. I mean at the very least you’ll get free food and/or drinks, right? someone complimenting you? I swear I’m not a shallow person haha, but seriously 
How are you doing, Ras217?
Not good… My dog bit someone and now my landlord is asking me to get rid of him. I keep thinking “if the ex was here I’d feel better”. I haven’t contacted him since the breakup. Today will be 7 days.
I still wonder if he’s even thinking about me or cares about my well being. Words can’t express how I’m feeling right now. I miss him so much and I wish I had this shoulder to lean on.
I don’t know what to do.
Oh no, your dog bit someone? 
Good for you on sticking to NC. You can do it! Trust me, it’s going to help you feel better.
He’s definitely still thinking about you. You guys were together 8 months plus the time before your first break up/break? There’s no way he doesn’t think about you.
Did you end up meeting with that guy?
Yeah… it’s bad. Not the first time he’s bitten someone. I need to make a game time decision.
So the ex called me this morning. He was worried. Saw my Facebook post about finding a new home for the dog. Wanted to see what was going on. He also gave me some advice and told me to keep him posted.
Made me really miss him. I’m not sure what this means tho. If anything.
Well that was sweet of him! I think at the very least it still shows he cares. I hope you don’t have to give up your dog… I would go back into NC if I were you though.
@Dopierk you should def go back into no contact. Once you take a bit it is hard to not want another one.
I just got on day 4 of OFFICIAL no contact, my ex and I was feeling like we was no contact but we was actually talking every week (this past month), about something, both making excuses to talk, was emotional roller coaster, but finally a talk went to crap and the real no contact had to happen.
I will say though as a guy, I was hung up on my ex for the longest even though i knew it was virtually impossible to get back together, so you will have a nice range that he is out there thinking about you, girls usually have a better chance at getting over it than guys, and guys get in rebound relationships because they assume physical means will make them feel better but when he is alone and not distracting himself with life I’m sure he thinks about you.Gotta remember the no contact is a MUST even in the worst of break ups, time can heal
Do I need to start NC over?
Even though he told me to keep him posted on my sitch, should I still do NC?
Was he just doing a temp check on me?
This might be TMI, but we signed up on a site to meet other couples/people. He said he’d deactivate the site, but I told him not to cause “I wanted to use it”. He was active on it yesterday. Is he trying to get my attention?
I’m so overwhelmed right now with everything in my life.
Yes go no contact, especially if he is expecting you to contact him. Which that is what he is doing, its kind of putting you in his ball court. Its very important you don’t do that. He is still looking for a connection with you to make him feel comfortable you MUST NOT DO IT, he will miss you but doesn’t mean he will want to be back together.
And the site you have to not worry about, just do what you want don’t come to any agreements about whats okay and whats not.
I agree with mosis, do a strict no contact. You are too available to your ex right now, he will start to think he can have you anytime he wants and will use you and abuse you. You have to regain some power in this situation. I spent the first month of my break up dropping everything when my ex contacted me, it was a huge mistake. It helped nothing.
@Dopierk is right i spent the first month going back and forth with my ex, with power swings. I was good for a week until i let her back in with something small and she was missing me but then got the power back because i opened up emotionally by contacting and she went back into cold mode. It was back and forth for the whole past month and now she has been left on top in a way, its VERY important you stay no contact, the long you let him have the power of the emotions the longer the no contact period will last and the less chance you have of him wanting it back
He called again this morning. Basically he cares about the situation I’m in and knows I’m having a hard time.
I appreciate him reaching and saying nice things. He’s a logical thinker so it’s good to get his advice.
But I DO want to have the power in my hands. I want it to be on MY terms and I obviously do want him back…
Think it’s likely?
Its likely, but when you get comfortable being in contact still fresh off a break up it tends to do more damage than anything, but it feels good because you are getting that attention. Doesn’t always help towards getting back together though, you gotta feel it out i guess
So I need to remain focused on the big goal here not just temporary satisfaction. Question is… how do I get that control back? To make him miss me to the point he wants to take me back.
He obviously cares for me. And he obviously still wants to talk. We have always been good at communicating. He said this morning “we are different. We’re good at communicating with each other” after I mentioned I was appreciative of him reaching out, but that we are broken up.
He’s supposed to call me again later.
Hmmm…
To get the power you have to leave on top, when he calls you or y’all talk you have to end the conversation on good terms but with independence. something like
“i do appreciate that we can communicate, but i do need my space right now for awhile.” and then go no contact after that. You get the power back in this situation because you ending it on your terms even though he originally broke up with you it feels like roles are reversed and then stick to no contact, he will think about you ALOT it would be hard for him to move on from you and not think about you just because it looks like he is losing you and you are getting your independence which is against what he wants right now, which is why he keeps calling.
But yes the hardest part for myself and everybody else here for the most part is to focus on the long term goal vs the temporary satisfaction. It hurts to go through the struggle for a little bit because it isn’t something you are used to but i have to keep reminding myself “if you love them, you have to do this” because continuing to react of emotions will ruin the future potential when things are shaky right now.
you are basically setting him up for role reversal and for him to begin chasing you
i suggest don’t answer that call later, unless he is calling about something important, if it is just advice or casual talk, don’t answer. Then get back to him later after that, say you are sorry you missed the call you got busy (but don’t tell him what you was busy with) and then let him know, but hey its great we are able to communicate, a (and some other nice stuff) but i need some space to think and to be alone for a bit.