He thinks that i will never change and he is still negative about me!!!
I think i should go for 30 days…or i seriously dont know what
I have lost all hopes…and chances !!!
Aw moonbunny! I hope your insomnia isn’t too bad. I’ve been feeling really tired lately too (but haven’t been able to sleep much at night).
I’m not really sure how I’m feeling towards my ex anymore. I’m really really sad still and quite often I cry at least once a day. It’s not healthy and I know I should probably try harder to move on but I’m not really sure how. I’m still wondering if I should even talk to him at New Year’s or before. Or never speak to him again. Although that would hurt me very much and I probably wouldn’t be able to do it, it’s probably better for both of us 
Then again, I kinda want to talk to him just in case there is a slither of a chance that we could be together again. I had a whole speech planned out and everything but I’m not sure if I need to say these things anymore. I might just leave the past in the past. And just say that I’m willing to give it another go if he is. Or if he still isn’t that keen, then I could ask if we could maybe try again in a few years (although I’m not sure if that seems desperate or like I’ll wait around for him or not). I don’t know. Maybe I should still say everything that I felt that I needed to say. I just know that I’ll get really emotional and I don’t really want him to see me cry once again, it’ll just remind him of the past idk.
But that’s enough about me and my thoughts - I hope that you guys are okay. I’m not really sure if you sent the wrong message to your ex moonbunny. Perhaps he will think that you have moved on, but that’s okay. Then you could still re establish and connection, hang out as friends, and eventually get a feel for things and tell him how you really feel? I don’t know.
Hopefully we can all just carry on hoping and becoming better versions of ourselves in the mean time. Let’s just let fate do it’s work. Message them if it feels right, talk to them if it feels right and give them space if it feels right. I think that all we can all do is just take one day at a time and go with how we’re feeling in the moment. I don’t think it does any good to think about the past or the future - look at how messed up I am wondering if I should even talk to him or not!!
I’ve realized that I’m still going to be very emotional when I talk to him and really upset if he doesn’t want to give me another chance. So I guess I have to get to a stage where I know I’ll be okay without him. I’m still not feeling that way yet. Like, I think about it long and hard and don’t think he would want to just give up on me but I never know that. He may not be sad and may have moved on already. And if that is the case, then I have to deal with that. I’m not sure. I guess for now I’ll focus on myself until October when I invite him around. Then I’ll see how that goes. You never know, he may say that he has missed me or something then. (These are the fantasies in my head that I need to stop thinking about). I’m going to try and go back to my philosophy of only thinking about him once a day, so I’ll talk to you guys tomorrow morning. Stay strong xx
hey there scatteredtracks 
Seriously I’ve been thinking a lot. I do miss him bt it’s not like I’m 100% determined to get him back anymore… I mean of course I don’t want to give up here. Because we are worth another chance to make things right. Maybe when one I’ll meet another guy that treats me like a princess but that’s not what I want. I don’t think it’s so easy to find someone that has the same heart with us. 
All those bonds created… through years of love for each other… Shouldn’t just end with some silly reasons
Don’t stress too much babe. Stick to NC and try to keep your mind clear off negative things I’m sure soon you’ll now which way to head to. For myself I’m kinda confused too. I’m hoping he would initiate contact, even if it’s just a good luck wish for my exam I would be really happy. I remembered him telling me, that he’s glad he have me on his tough times, and I always never forget to wished him good luck in his exams and he really appreciated me for that. It hurts to much still to think that all those times are gone I hope your ex initiate contact with you too . Even if he doesn’t I hope things will go well when you do talk to him. After all both of our breakups didn’t end in a terrible way that end up in a tons of arguments and stuffs like that, I hope those negative feelings will fade with time and the good ones will take charge.
The sad thing is … we don’t need any reasons to fall in love, we just did. When it come to the end, even the silliest excuses count.
I’ll feeling abit low and I’m still okay. And abit lost too but I’ll keep going. Hope your day goes well! TTYL <3
Using the earphones he gave me the second last time we met 
I told him mine spoiled and he immediately offer to give me a new one he had… although we are already broken up that time. But we were still in contact. Well what now… we’re like strangers with memories…
My ex is in a relationship my friend found out from facebook and told me this morning. I am completely shattered. I don’t know what to do. Everything feels completely hopeless now. Just when I was feeling a little bit more hopeful that ONE DAY it could possibly work out. I don’t know what to do with myself now. I actually broke no contact and I’ve asked my ex to come around and talk. Don’t think he will come though. I feel absolutely sick to my stomach.
I know exactly how you feel, @scatteredtracks! I found out my ex, who claimed he was in love with me and told his friends I could be the one and acted all summer like he wanted to be with me again, is dating a girl who’s boyfriend recently died (and he and my ex share the same name! soap opera…) It’s completely devastating!
I would say, don’t contact him again. Having him come around and talk isn’t really going to do much except hurt you more, I think. It’s not going to go well for either one of you, and in all honesty has every possibility of pushing him closer to her. You know how people tend to want what’s forbidden? Well, if you try to convince him to date you and not her, he’s going to be more pulled to her, even if he was once (and therefore likely still is) in love with you and logically should choose you. Logic doesn’t work when people are very emotional, unfortunately. If he contacts you and says “Sure,” if it were me I’d back out. I’d say about how on reconsideration, it wouldn’t be a good idea, and leave it at that. Trust me, your silence (and patience) will speak volumes.
If you have been thinking of him every day, I can pretty much assure you he has been thinking about you too. It’s been 2 months since y’all broke up; how long were y’all together? Some people say the longer you were together, the more likely a relationship soon after a breakup will be a rebound, but I say if you were together and just had this special connection with each other, it doesn’t necessarily matter how long you dated (as long as it’s more than like two weeks! lol)
I know. He has already said that he will come round and talk to me. And I know that’s not really the best thing to do. But I’ve written down some things to say and hopefully I don’t seem to desperate or pathetic. I was just so upset and asked him to come round. I’m not going to say ‘don’t date her’, I’m just going to try and get some answers out of him. I feel like it could be a rebound but it could also end up being the love of his life so I’m freaking out. I know it’s a really bad idea but I need to talk to him more than anything. Hopefully it won’t push him away but I have no idea. I am completely crushed.
My ex and I were together for 2 and a quarter years. I always felt so drawn to him from the moment I met him and some of the times we had together were the happiest in my life. I haven’t forgotten about them and I can’t believe he would forget either? When we broke up he told me that he didn’t have the energy to be in a relationship anymore. I’m guessing that this new girl is a lot easier to deal with ??? It’s still so hard to understand. I have no idea if it’s a rebound or not. I can’t assume anything. For now, I realize that I just have to move on. But it’s so hard and I’m not sure I can do that. He told me that we were going to talk about our relationship at New Year’s and now I’m just so hurt that was a lie. I’ve been in bed feeling like I’m going to throw up ever since I found out the truth
My friend is really angry at him for saying things etc. But I’m trying not to be bitter. He is allowed to get over me. He is allowed to move on. He is allowed to be with anyone he wants. But it just feels so unfair. It’s unfair on me because I love him so much and I know that I always will. It’s unfair because I thought that he was still a bit sad about the break-up and he may just be with her because he’s lonely, but the thing is, I was still here… just round the corner from him. I was almost, waiting, for him.
But anyway, I’ll let you know how the talk goes. I’m going to try and not come across as desperate. There is still time to back out but I really feel like I need to talk to him or I won’t be able to move on in a healthy way.
Okay I just finishing talking to him. And I’m absolutely shattered. I don’t know why I expected anything else. I’ve told him that I’m saying goodbye to him for now. He has told me to go and do crazy shit because I’m young and I need to start having fun like him.
He doesn’t think that our relationship was ever healthy. He doesn’t think that we could ever be together again. It feels just like he has broken up with me all over again. Some of the things that he said were a bit harsh, but I guess that doesn’t really matter anymore.
He said that he is heartbroken because he had to break up with me and he didn’t want to break my heart but he had to do it because it wasn’t healthy and we had stupid arguments like over light switches (our last argument which i AGREE was absolutely stupid). But i’ve seen past that now. I knew the whole time that it was really silly and I’ve seen about the things that I could’ve done differently and I know that we could still make it work if both of us put the effort in. He doesn’t think so. He is absolutely convinced that I will stop loving him and that I will get through this. He also thinks that we could never be in a healthy relationship.
But he said that just because we’re not together doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care about me. And that doesn’t mean we can’t be ‘mates’. But the truth is, I really don’t want to be ‘mates’ with him. I know that it will be too difficult and I will always be hoping that he will be falling back in love with me. I don’t think I can ever hang out with him again while feeling like this.
He also asked what he could do that would just make me hate him. But I said that I could never hate him and he knows that. He will always be a part of my heart, whether he likes that or not.
I really want to just move out of the country for a few years and throw myself into somewhere new and truly get over him. But unfortunately I can’t afford to do that. I still don’t want to give up with him even though that’s all he wants from me. And even though that seems like it would be the only option now. I guess we’re truly on ‘death’s door’. If I go away some time next year or something maybe I will say goodbye to him properly and idk maybe that will make him realize that I am truly moving on and away. Maybe it’ll make him miss me.
I guess I’ll just have to see how long this relationship lasts. It may still be a rebound. It seems like he really likes her, but I think all rebounds are that way. I’m so jealous of her, and I hope that she is really happy. I didn’t think that it was fair on her that she is with someone who has admitted to being ‘heartbroken’, but we’ll just see. Maybe they are true loves and will be together for the rest of their lives. Maybe it will all fall apart in a couple of months and will also be ‘unhealthy’. There is nothing I regret more than the stupid argument about the light. Who knows how different my life would be if we hadn’t argued about that??? There was absolutely no sign that he wanted to split before then. (Buying me chocolate hearts, calling me beautiful etcetcetc).
I don’t really know what my next plan of action is. My ex said that time heals everything. We could be dead in a couple of years. That’s why he is just living in the moment and being happy with this new girl. And I know I should be happy for him, but the truth is I’m still really upset and I just wish that I was the one making him happy.
So much has changed since my last few replies last night moonbunny & sri! I hope everything is going better for you both <3 I still have many thanks for you both for being here for me. It means a lot.
Give it some time…he broke my heart so many times that i am getting better…i have lost the hopes of getting him back and that is why i live my life more do what i like…its not about them its time for us to change and be happy with or without them…yess i miss him alot…but life becomes easy when you accept that u will never get them back !!
I know. It’s really hard to just accept that right now I truly thought that there could be a chance and I’m pretty annoyed that he said we could talk at New Year’s and everything. He said that it was true then but it has now been TWO months instead of ONE and I was like ??? that’s still not really that much time. I’m so annoyed and upset and I feel so sick. I really want to forget about him and move on but I really don’t know how. It’s sooooo painful and I’m lucky to have a lot of people to talk about it with. But I just know that in two years I will still feel like contacting him and idk if that’s the right thing to do. I know I need to just let him go, but that pull to talk to him will always be there. And maybe I do just need to be ‘mates’ with him because then at least his in my life. I know it will be really hard for me and I will always be hoping for more, but at least I will get to see him smile and make him laugh once more. Even though I wouldn’t be able to hold him in my arms, at least we could have a good time together??? I really don’t know. I only know that I have to leave it for a while now. A good six months or so. I have to throw myself into moving on from him completely and try to forget about him. The annoying thing is that quite often as soon as you’re over someone, you hear from them -_- So I hope that doesn’t happen. Like, half of me wants to be friends with him still but the other half just wants to move on and never speak to him again. I guess for now I have to go with the never speaking to him again side because I know that he doesn’t want to hear from me and he wants me to move on. It’s just so hard when I’m feeling so miserable after having that little inkling of hope
Oh my my dear, I’m feel so sorry that you are going through this babe. You don’t deserve all this pain at all. And please please don’t blame yourself for having hope , because you really did loved him that’s why. I have an instinct that his relationship is probably a rebound,and he was saying all those words like ‘we will never be healthy together’ because that’s what he convince himself to believe it’s the reason behind everything while it not necessary is . Since he is in a relationship now, that girl is all in his mind. He thought she’s gonna be better he thought they are gonna be better as a pair. But they only started dating but you both have been together for so long. It’s really not so easy you know, to build so much with someone, to be able to connect in so many ways with someone. He is blinded by the fake reality I tell you.
It’s such a shame of him that he chose to walk away just like that. It’s his loss losing you. He’ll never find someone that love him this much as you do. And he fact that he is willing to meet you up, means that he really still does care in a way, but he is also at the same curious of the other ‘option’. That’s why he convince himself that you guys will never be healthy because you know what! That’s how to get through all this. That’s how he endure all this. I think he never really got over you after all. But young guys are like this, even they know deep in their heart what is the best, they don’t want to settle down just yet without experiencing more. Sadly, this is the truth. It’s completely a different concept from us woman. At least most of us.
So I would say the best thing you must do now is move on. Leave him behind. Let him be. I know it must be really hard but at least you have a clearer vision now right babe? If he truly does love you and you both are meant to be, you paths will definitely cross again in the future. But right now you must move on with you life dear. Don’t wait for him anymore. But it’s okay to still deserve a place for him in your heart. He is …just like a ghost now. The memories will linger but he’s not there anymore… go on with your life and make the best out of it. He walk away from you and you should do the same… it doesn’t mean that you give up, it just mean that you will move on knowing that you had try your best. If you try too much it may end up them getting closer… so the best bet is disappear from his life. He’ll seriously feel bad one day, for doing this to you. He’ll regret but when he do come back, you may not be there anymore. You must stay strong alright! No matter what decision you make I will support you mentally with all my heart. Here’s a quote for you babee:
At some point you will realise that you have done too much for someone, that the only possible step is to stop. Leave them alone. Walk away. It’ not that you’re giving up. It’s not like you shouldn’t try. It’s just that you have to draw the line of determination from anything that won’t help the situation now. What’s truly yours, will eventually be yours and what’s not , nomatter how hard you try , will never be.
Cry all you want babe… but remember to pick yourself up dear The sun is still shining the Earth is still spinning. But it would be a better place if you’re smiling. Check out a song ’ Baby Don’t Cry - Daesung ’ Even if you don’t like the song look at the lyrics. It speaks to my heart when I feel devastated. I have hope that my life is getting better and I will take this opportunity to grow up. And just trust in fate. I’ll be here if you need me! You can ask Kevin for my email!
Yes. I still do really love him. It would be so much easier if I could hate him, but I never could. It hurts soooo bad. I didn’t expect this to happen - at least not this soon. I’m not sure if it’s a rebound or not. I feel kind of bad but I’m sort of waiting for them to break up because I’m convinced that it’s not going to last. But really I have no idea. She might be the love of his life
I am giving up on him for now. Not completely as he will always be in my heart. But I am not going to speak to him for the longest time possible. I think my friend/s will let me know if he breaks up with her, but even then I don’t think I should speak to him. I have to truly wait a long time until I am completely over him and have put these negative feelings I have towards out of my mind. At the moment, I am so hurt by him that I don’t think I could ever forgive him. But I know that I probably will. It annoys me so much that he just thinks he can get away with this. Why does he think it’s okay to just hurt me.
I am sure this is just how he is dealing with everything. Maybe he was feeling lonely and this is why he feels this ‘connection’ with the girl. Because he doesn’t know what else to do. It’s the only way he is able to deal with the negative emotions that he has. Also saying that it is unhealthy is the only way he can deal with all the guilt. He doesn’t want to look like the bad guy, but the truth is that he is.
I wish I had just left it and been cool about it all. Then I could possibly still ask him to hang out in October, with the knoweldge that he has a new girlfriend. I would just be prepared and wouldn’t flirt, just be friendly and make myself as attractive and happy as possible. But I threw that out the window when I asked him to come round and talk to me. I don’t know why I did it. He did say that he broke up with me because of the light switch etc. And said that I don’t know how to handle my emotions and he doesn’t know how to handle his anger. He had to leave because it was getting too emotional for him, and I feel like that is how he is handling life. I feel like if he keeps running away from all the true feelings in life then he will never be happy.
My dream is that one day he will wake up and realize what he has done is a mistake. He will realize that I truly loved him ad that maybe he still loves me too, despite everything. But it will be too late and I will have moved on without him. Then he will get what he deserves. He isn’t feeling anything properly because he just gets stoned and drunk and pushing them to the side so I just think he will end up a complete mess when the emotions finally catch up to him. If there’s one thing that I’ve learnt in life, it’s that you have to truly FEEL every single emotion. Whether it’s anger or happiness, sadness or absolute joy. You have to be in the moment and think about how you are truly feeling.
I feel bad for the girl but I truly don’t want this relationship between them to work out. I feel like he still cares enough to visit me, and he cares enough to get angry and make up excuses, which may mean that he could possibly be still in love with me. It’s impossible to get over someone that quickly. Sure, he has ‘moved on’ but I don’t think that he has gotten over me. I think there is a difference, and that will be the downfall of their relationship because he does have emotional baggage that he hasn’t dealt with properly.
I hope I’m not coming across as too desperate or anything, that is just truly how I feel the situation is going and what he is thinking. This is all speculation and assumptions but I know him better than anyone in the world (except maybe his own mother).
Anyway, at the moment I don’t feel like I could ever want to be with him again. Especially as I don’t think he will ever want to either. But at the end of our conversation, just as he was leaving my house he said ‘Maybe if we both change A LOT COMPLETELY that is the only way we will have a chance together.’ And I don’t think he should have said that because it has given me that tiny little bit of hope back and it’s frustrating.
For now, I’m going to focus on myself. Then in the future, maybe after a few years, I may try and get in contact with him and see where we stand. Because I know I will still love him, even if I’ve had other relationships or if he has had others. And I would just like the chance to talk about everything while I’m not so involved in the situation and upset about everything. I feel like I could try and redevelop a connection but I shouldn’t look forward to that day too much and just do it when it feels right. I need to wait a really long time, because at the moment he has hurt me way too much that I don’t even want to hear his voice.
It just really upsets me because I never thought it would come to this. I didn’t think we would be nearly shouting at each other and that he could make me feel even more pathetic and small than I already did.
All I know is that my only option now is to move on. I’m trying my hardest to do that, I’m just not 100% sure how. I don’t think I will find someone else for a very long time, because it just wouldn’t feel right - and I secretly hope that his new relationship is a bit like that too. ANYWAY time to stop focusing on him!!! It’s hard but I’m trying to say to myself that he’s an asshole and I don’t need him in my life anymore. I wish I could just stop thinking about them together. That would make it a lot easier. And I really want to move away, because him living just round the corner makes me feel so upset and uneasy. I know I could run into him anywhere around here -_-
I would love to ask Kevin for your email but I’m not really sure how you go about doing that? I’m happy to still just keep talking on this thread, but if you don’t want to then let me know?? Sorry if this reply was a bit rambly - I just have a lot of feelings at the moment!!!
Also, I’ve been reading something that Sri sent me on facebook. It’s a guide to re connect with your ex and I’m thinking about doing that in a few years if I still feel the same way towards him. Maybe by then, I will see that I don’t need him in my life, but if not then I might try to implement those techniques. I’m not sure. I guess I don’t have to make up my mind. I will just see when the time comes.
The words ‘we just clicked’ keep swirling around in my head it hurts so much to hear him say that over and over. I’m hoping it’s a rebound but I’m not going to know that for a while. I can’t believe this is happening.
Aww babe First let me give you a virtual hug… I’m so sorry you have to go through this. Btw I meant I want to give you my email so you can contact me easier and we can be able to chat easier. I wanted to add you both in FB to but then when I search Sri’s email nothing came out I don’t know why.
Anyway babe. I feel that there is no guarantee that their relationship may be a long lasting relationship or not. But also you shouldn’t live with the thought that it’s gonna be a rebound because it’ll only lengthen your healing process. And I feel that moving on for now and disappear from his life would be the best bet for your happiness, either he’ll realise and come back or you finally found someone who really deserve you. Seriously, he’s not over you. He was just avoiding everything and thought what he have now is the better. He has no idea he was so wrong and there are many definite signs that it’s a rebound. So just disappear for now and think it as, it’s the best solution for the long term.
It’ll leave an impression of you on him that you don’t need him, and you won’t wait for him like a fool. Being able to walk away is attractive, I guess I could say. But like you said, it may end up be the love of his life , or not. It’s a 50/50. But if you leave it here, any further negative impressions can be prevented. Guys are attracted to girls that can be independent and those that want to strive for their own dreams. So by walking away , you’re in a way in the process and getting back together . Either it’s a few months later, or the next year/s. What it yours, will eventually be yours. That is what I’ve learned so far.
I’m afraid too that my ex may be in a relationship. My heart aches to even think of that. I bet you’re feeling so bad worse than me… I’m here for you babe. But I also reach that point to realise that. : ‘Well, if he can forget about me SO EASILY, after everything we’ve build together in 3 years, then he FUCKING DON’T DESERVE ME. Enough is enough. It hurts now but if I let myself endure the whole process again and again, not only it wont change anything but it’ll only make me look pathetic. When he is the one who don’t deserve my love. And I hope the best for him that he’ll find someone that love him as much as I do! -_-’
I just wished I could physically be there for you when you need someone. Anyway I hope my words can help you , even just a little. I’m be so glad already. I have no idea if I’m progressing on my situation , He haven’t talk to me . But he liked a video of a dog I posted in FB. I guess it doesn’t mean anything more than that. Maybe I’ll ask him out after my exam which is in end of October. And tell him things i WANTED HIM to know, don’t care if it’ll push him away or what because I’m tired of mind games! At least, I’ll be able to move on easier. Although sometimes I have the thought that he missed me too and he was just as sad as I am. But another part of me thought that he may have don’t give AF about US anymore and everything were just memories. And we’re nothing but strangers with memories.
It suck. Everything freaking suck. But I’ve learn that one can pick up my broken pieces beside myself. So do you my friend. He hurt you too much. He doesn’t deserve your love anymore babe
My ex is so distict towards me…as if he hates me alot!!!
He doesnt care anymore1!!!
Woahh good for himm
Tell someone that you love them for years and then all of a sudden you lose your feelins
I feel so sick and angry
He is a completely different person to me now!!!
It is very irritatins sometimes
That you are putting so much effort for someone only to get rejected and neglected
Thank you moonbunny <3 What is your email? You can add me on facebook as well. I wonder why you couldn’t find sri?
I know. I keep hoping that this is just a rebound and that it will all mess up for them completely. But for some reason I just get the feeling that he really has moved on and isn’t making a mistake. Maybe she is the one for him. I’m not going to know for a while. Even though it’s selfish, I can’t help wishing that everything will go sour for them both. He will expect her to be more like me etc. Because how can he not compare the two relationships? It’s crazy.
I’m trying not to think of him at all but it’s sooo hard. Especially when all I can picture is her in his arms I don’t know what she is like or anything. Only that they ‘clicked’. So there is no way of knowing whether she is completely different to what he usually goes for or not. I looked at her profile on facbeook only once, just to see what she was like but I couldn’t really find anything out. I think she’s kind of pretty but my friend said it’s a ‘major downgrade’ which made me laugh.
Yes, I believe the most attractive thing I can do now is to just walk away from the situation and stop caring about him, because clearly he doesn’t care about me. I wish that I hadn’t asked him round to talk now, because I know I would’ve come across as desperate and needy. I still believe all the things that I said in the above post but I also know that I need to accept the fact that they may be together forever, or a long time. Once I get that into my head, I can start to move on myself.
Maybe one day when he sees that I am happy without him he will feel bad. I think he already feels quite guilty, and I may have made him feel worse when I invited him round (that wasn’t my intention - I just wanted some answers like what happened to talking at New Year’s etc). I can just go on and live my life now. I’m really looking forward to doing some travelling so I can’t wait till I’ve saved enough money to go exciting new places. At the moment, I just have to focus on working, saving up the money and in my spare time becoming a better person. I’ve also got lots of inspiring TV shows to watch that help me feel happy and distract me from my own situation. And, like we’ve said before music always helps a lot.
At least now I know exactly what I’m going to do. I know that I HAVE to move on and I’m no longer wondering what he thinks of me. I hope that I didn’t come across and too desperate or that he really hates me now. I didn’t mean to make his life miserable. As he was leaving he told me to sleep with as many people as I like and go out and do crazy stuff. But I still feel like deep down, if he heard that I was sleeping with lots of people, he would be hurt. I think the only reason he said that to me was so he could justify it to himself. And he knows that I’m not going to go and do that. I’m not a crazy individual haha.
But anyway, I hope things are feeling better for you both <3 I think it would be a good idea to speak to your ex at the end of October after your exam. That way you will know for sure where you stand. That is the one good thing that has come out of this ;___; I know that I have to move on now, as hard as that is to accept. No matter what happens I will always be here to listen. Maybe before you talk to him you could write a letter of everything that you want to say to him, don’t send it, just write it out for yourself. Everything will be okay in the end, for all of us <3 Now I can just move on to bigger and better things :')