Your situation is surely chaotic and you won’t solve anything from here. You need to get away from him and start a new life, we’re not just talking a NC but really a new chapter in your life. You’re strong and you can do this, he will come back so don’t worry. Figure out what went wrong between you two and totally ignore him. It should be a constant state of meditation; to think, relax and grow if you understand what I’m saying:) You’re in a really messy situation right now and you just need to trust yourself and realize that you can do this! Make him understand that he’s made the mistake of his life. But first you need to believe that as well, good luck! 
I’m so sorry that you’re going through this with him! It’s a horrible situation but it wasnt long ago that he said that he was considering taking you back so I really don’t think that all hope is lost. For right now the best you can do is to do NC so that you can become stronger and will be able to tackle the situation better. When i mean NC then don’t ignore his calls, treat him nicely when he comes over but also DO NOT engage any contact! Be completely neutral towards him. Don’t call him, don’t text him. If he is at your place then say hi to him. Don’t lock yourself up in your room just coz he is there - it is where you live and you need to show him that. Act confident and you will for sure attract him back. However, if this will be too hard for you then you’ll have to put yourself first and do FULL NC without having any communication with him. The cousin thing you shouldnt worry about AT ALL… If there is anything there then it will be a rebound and he’ll be doing it to make you jealous!
Aamls, this situation is changing day to day. I know you are tempted to do that, but you need to channel that love into something that will help you get back together with him. I really wouldn’t worry about your cousin. She is a rebound, and this is not permanent. You can do this.
yeah completely agree with what most people are saying. this sure is a chaotic situation. you definitely need to stop all contact with him. i dont know how that will be possible with the kids and stuff… and if he can still just rock up at your place… and i know how badly you want to talk to him but you must know that will just make things worse. im so sorry you have to go through this. wish we werent drawn to people hey, it would be much easier to be single our entire lives. but, love is one hell of an experience and roller coaster. the way i look at it, is that its amazing we can feel this way. this love and hurt. its beautiful something can make us feel this sad. We experienced something so great to us and we should be thankful for that. we have to take the good with the bad. Thats life. i know it sounds stupid. things will get better. maybe not in the way we expect or want, but things will. if we let them.
hey everyone thanks for your advise. I feel so hurt and confused all over again. my oldest told me the reason she threw the egg was because she saw him almost laughing when I was talking to him and was why she threw it she told me that if i want him back I have to become strong so i can move through this so I can attract him again that it look as if I were begging him and he was like laughing. well something like that. I really miss him and want him back. I wonder if my story is one of the craziest ones here. :‘( I had a dream or thought that I saw wedding outfits or stuff hanging up somewhere and that he was getting married to her. :’( I had remembered that one time I had a night mare with them that i never told anyone. it was that they were together and I had forgot about that nightmare till I mentioned it to someone. that day I woke up and felt a really bad heartache, then I said its only a nightmare and look now it turn to reality, im scared and dont want this to turn out for the worse. :‘( I dont want to lose him or let him go. :’( he never called me or text me to see how I was. he called 2 more times after I had gotten a ride to pick up my kids from school. left a message saying he had an idea to call him back another message that dont say he didnt try to help that he called and that to call roadside assistance that we have it and have it tow to “your” house and that he’ll check it out later. anyways after that I never heard from him again, like he didnt care. I feel so scared right now. so instead of calling me he called the house phone asking his mother if the car got tow or something, the house phone died so my youngest called him from her phone. he asked her to ask me if i called roadside assistance. he knows my number and hasnt called or asked if the kids have a way to make it to school tomorrow. my oldest has a 3 day field trip and I have no way to make it to her school as its far. im so confused and scared, he would have let me driven his car before but were not together and hes being very selfish. :‘( now idk what to do since I have no car. I felt like texting or calling him because he should help with the kids, because of his obsession with this bitch hes ignoring the kids i’ve notice, he did talk to my youngest for a few seconds and asked for them when he called but that was it. I feel like everything is over for me. :’( what do you guys think of this crazy situation? will I ever get him back? im scared that this stupid dream I had will become real like the nightmare I had and like another dream I had that they stole our car and I told him about it and 3 days later they stole our car. 
I dont need this stuff im dreaming to become real. :‘( Im having the worse luck and feel like im going crazy. :’( I really miss him so much. anyone? thanks 
if hes taking it slow hanging out with her family and feeling comfortable with those idioits is she his rebound and him hers? idk what happen to hers and dont care much either but her husband and her broke up after 12 years to. I miss my husband.
yes i do feel as if your situation is one of the craziest… very difficult. you do need to rein in your emotions though. so wait, sorry i missed a bit but your oldest threw an egg? at your ex? if so, good on her. i know its not right but its good to hear shes sticking up for you. i really wish i could help you more but i think you know that youre the only one that can do it. you have to be strong. i know its the opposite of what you want but you have to accept whats going on. have you ever heard the saying, the moment we stop wanting something, we get it? i believe its true, usually when it comes to people. i think he sees it like he can play his game, and when he gets tired or bored, he could come back to you if he chooses. nu uh, thats not how it works. he has to realise he will lose you forever. he has to be scared of that. like you are. and the only reason you can tolerate whats going on is because you two arent together. obviously you wouldnt want someone that treated you like that in a relationship. as for your dreams… strange they come real. maybe it is because you told them about the dream you had about your car? as if they stole it? wtf
guys I literally feel like im going crazy, all I do is cry and keep thinking of everything wrong happening to me. I really hate this feeling and dont know what to do about it. I miss him so much and dont feel strong enough to face it. Im not eating right or sleeping at all and when I was able to fall asleep im having nightmare and all of this is affecting me really bad. idk what to do. I feel desperate. I cant cope or bare with this.
the dream about the car was years ago when we were like 2 or 3 years together. the other dream was a few months ago like 2 or 3 I dont need this one to come real to. I cant bare with this, its so hard on me. so Im not going to ask him whats going on why would he have even told his mother to tell me that when I didnt want to talk to him. I guess seeing me like this gives him more of an ego boost as you were mentioning its really making me sick literally. they dont know how much pain they are causing me. why are they both doing this stuff to me. I dont deserve this at all.
will I ever get him back? and is this getting serious as hes going like nothing to hangout at her brothers house, ugh
its possible. its always possible. but you have to put yourself in a good place
ok Ii was just reading relationship rewind all over again and it says the best method is face to face and touch, thinking about it he doesnt want me touching him or his stuff. why not? my oldest idk why pulled my pants down while I was laying down and he said ok let me get out of this room as my oldest was laughing also she started licking my face and she said he was laughing, just as when I wanted to leave my oldest would climb on the car and said she did it to bother me but she didnt see how much pain I was in and at one point he told her to stay on the car probably so I could here his crap. even though when I got mad and he said see you dont change at all he I think said something in a low voice to me kinda like he was acting. I have no idea whats going on with him im so confused and hes acting so different towards me then what he use to do before he would have been there for me when the car broke down and now he didnt even care to see if the kids had transportation for school. im so stressed and confused. I cant even sleep because I keep crying and I cant even sleep because I feel overwhelm, idk. idk what to do anymore.
btw he didnt say anything to me he said it to his mother or my oldest idk, i think im oldest told him something like its like you like for her to beg you or something.
Aamls … you have the right to cry … it’s healthy … you can feel sad and hurt … it’s part of the healing process … but you have to do something … you can set in your room and cry all day and night … or … you can stand up on your feet … and work on yourself all day …put a fake smile and a strong face … and cry all night … 
…
I think you need to go out with friends … maybe make new friends … try harder to find a job … send your cv to many companies …use the Internet to search for jobs … don’t stop … or give up … you need to do something for yourself …
and what your oldest said … I have gotta admit … she have a point … just … be strong
He’ll find you attractive once you become strong and independent …
look … we have a saying here in my country …" if you don’t love yourself … how do you expect him to love you? "
So plz … get him off your head for now … go and do something for you … and when the night comes … cry as much as you want … ok?
I feel like im back to square one all over again. I hate this. :‘( also i feel so tired and cant sleep. I think im getting anxiety all over again. this is the hardest thing i been having to deal with. :’( not even my fathers death was as bad I think or about the same. but this is ongoing pain. :‘( any idea why hes doing this and hanging out with those stupid people he knows are hypocrites and dont care about me. another thing I know my oldest said that bitch asked him how I was doing. wtf? why me? :’(
thanks mema I have gone crazy looking for a job like you wouldnt believe. Im gonna try to go see if I can get emergency housing and leave this apartment so I dont have to be next to his hypocrite mother. its funny I was crying yesterday and she came out saying whats wrong and I said nothing she said oh and went back to her room. he hasnt bother to contact me at all. he doesnt care about anything but his selfish motives. I hate this shit. I also have been using the internet to apply for jobs and was thinking of going to this place to see if I could find one to. idk what to do about the kids since I have no way of taking them and picking them up, instead of him coming to check the car out and offering me his hes acting like a fucking prick.idk what to do anymore, this is so bad I cant sleep and am having nightmares if I do get to sleep some. :‘( I really want him back I hate this shit. :’( why are they both so selfish and doing this? or this to me?
Hey aamls,
Firstly, you need to stop comparing. You need to believe that youre better and let the positive vibes in. Get busy with your life and show people that youre happy. Not just show, you need to actually be happy and independent. See, you guys have been together for a really long period of time and no one invests such an amount of time with someone they wouldnt want to be with. Dont lose hope. It would be better if you shift your stay and surround yourself with like & light minded people. It helps you develop, also try contacting him to the minimum. You need to show him that you can do without him.
Make changes, let him know youve started to see stuffs differently.
And once youre absence is noticed, he will definitely miss you.
Good luck
I hope you’ll find a job soon … …
You will be a different person when you get a job … and you’ll be stronger and more comfortable … now you should do something for yourself … something you love … you deserve to be happy … ( till you get a job )
And about the car … when you called your insurance … can you ask them if you have a car repair assistance or something ?.. don’t wait for him to come and check out on the car … do everything yourself…
You need to be strong …
and about the nightmare … it’s not that big deal … you are over thinking … and your subconscious is messing with you … it does not mean any thing …
so he called me at 6:30am but I didnt pick up. then my oldest starts talking to him on kik a texting app and then he asked her to call him which she did. he ends up telling her that I have to apply for food stamps and how much money I have that I have to get the car fix. wtf? really and my oldest said mommy stop crying in front of me and she said it on the phone with him listening, wtf also he came and picked up my oldest to take her to school, my youngest stayed home. I had a call from him not sure if it was him or my oldest. he told my oldest he called at 6:30am to see if they needed a ride to school yet he couldnt ask yesterday. I dont want to see him or know anything of him Im so hurt, I was upstairs crying when he came to get her. I was by the stairs crying and when I looked up his mom came out of the room and was staring at me. she didnt say much and well she said hes changed a lot. I feel so desperate idk what to do or where to start.if I dont get the car fix soon not only will I have no way of getting around but will be seeing more of him more of him more often dont know if its good or bad. I feel like all hope is gone at this point and time. his mother also asked me what he said about the car and when I told her she had open her eyes some and thats when I said how she just stays quiet a lot. idk what to do anymore. Im gonna see if I can get a ride to see if its my battery if its not that then I know its the starter and can see about fixing it, this way I wont have to deal with my soon to be ex husband who is cheating on me with my stupid cousin, wtf? and I told his mom he never said that didnt he that he would think about it and she said he did say that. and now hes saying this. wtf what the hell am I suppose to do. i feel so alone scared ect. I dont deserve this and all I hear is move on let it be ect. this is one of the worse predicaments you can find yourself in and im in it. why me? I feel like I cant do this anymore and dont see the light at the end of the tunnel. wtf? anyone?
You are going to have to dig deep. You need to find some hope outside of him. I know that you want him back more than anything, but your source of hope cannot come from that being the only result. It will be okay. One way or another it will be okay. You need to find some source of support. A friend? Someone in your family? A church?