ok so he pocket dial the house phone and my youngest picks up. she open her mouth and I took the phone from her. I heard voices and thought hell no I gotta go. (the voice were very familiar) anyways I took of and went by first my stupid cousins brothers house and sure enough his car was there. I was in shock. anyways some how he knew I was there. he takes off in his car and I follow him. he then turns around and starts following me. I had to cut cars and everything to loose him. he almost rammed into my car and everything and at one point he said he was gonna call the cops on me. so what happen was I lost him finally and got some where safe. thing being my oldest was with me. so what happen was he kept calling me and I didnt get it. (he left me a voice mail saying he let everyone know I was there and that he was gonna call the cops if I went there and that I better not do anything to the stupid peoples cars and that he took a pic of my tag being there, Idk how.) I called his mother she said he called her and sounded mad saying that I was over there and hung up on her. anyways as I left from my safe place I passed by about 3 hours later and his car was there. :‘( he recently called his mother Im guessing he had just left. and today is my youngest birthday. he left me from the mall the other day to go trick or treating with that bitch. Im guessing hes been doing this for a while already as all of them feel comfortable with this shit. why me? :’( do I even have any chance at getting him back? I dont want to see him at all. Im so pissed but feel I still love him. Im really hurt. anyone please help me I feel really desperate. how do I get him to come back to me? I love him. why are they doing this shit to me? thanks
I am so sorry that you’re going through so much pain!
But are you sure he’s with your cousin?
and most importantly he’s not cheating on you because you both are not even together. I know how harsh it sounds but its the truth.
If he’s with someone else, it must be a rebound!!
Remember what kevin said? Dont worry about the rebound and play it cool.
you should start doing NC right away. Don’t even talk about the kids anymore and find a job.
Divorce doesn’t mean that all hopes are gone. You both can even start a fresh after divorce. But don’t lose your self respect. You tried everything to make it work not you shouldn’t do anything. Let it be and move on with your life. I am not saying he wouldn’t come back but you should handle your life first. Get things sorted out. Just move on and dont even think about him as he’s not being nice to you.
We always find things when we stop looking for it!!
I am always with you here. 
@divjun thanks for your response. im so shattered. im humiliated and everything else. im so hurt. 
I tought we were gonna get back together. :‘( I really hope everyone here gets their ex back. how could they both do this to me? I hate that I still have false hope. I wonder how long everyone else has known. my oldest told me that this cousins father doesnt care as long as hes not in his house so I guess they go to her brothers. his mothers a liar and hypocrite. I need to move asap. also another thing is no one cares. why did he tell me the other day about its not the right time for a hug? why did he leave me for her to go trick or treating? also supposedly they are getting serious and this hurts really bad. none of them cared about my dads death in july. :’( is he doing this because hes hurt so bad? I feel I have no closure and I guess I’ll never get him back. I guess this is my end. :‘( everyone is telling me to let him go. :’( how long should I do no contact for and do you think he’ll forget me and get more serious with her. he told my kids they can be a weird happy family. wtf? why? thanks everyone for your help I really appreciate it. I really hope everyone else here gets their ex’s back. btw my oldest said that bitch cousin asked him “how I was doing” wtf? and why do they have no conscious?
should I text him I forgive him?
Aamls I know how you’re feeling. Dont do anything. Dont text or call him. Dont even reply if he texts you. Do the NC till you feel happy about yourself. And he cannot forget you like that.
If he’s with your cousin, it must be a rebound. And dont forget that rebound relationship goes forward fast but I also ends soon.
I repeat IF YOU ARE 100% SURE HE IS IN RELATION WITH YOUR COUSIN THEN ONLY DO NC.
@aamls I’m really sorry you are feeling this way please do no NC .It is really hard for you when they are doing these kind of things right in your face…Try to go out with your friends and meet new people I know it is easier said than done but please try to do this for your self.
thanks guys. ok so he talked to his mom and I kinda believe her story. idk how much true it is but it was him telling his mom. so he told her this was his first time going there. some how he was invited over. supposedly my cousin wasnt there and they were cooking duck and he was helping cook. anyways supposedly someone sent him out and he saw my car and took pics and then he followed me. Idk what to think of this. supposedly hes coming over later to cut a cake and he wants to take her ice skating. maybe i’ll be invited but I doubt it even more now with what happen. I hope he wasnt there with her but this is still very painful and such. ugh wish me luck guys. and thanks again.
@aamls Have you signed the divorce papers yet? If you haven’t then, he is cheating if he is still married to you even if you are separated.
This is so painful. And I know that the pain makes it hard and you do things that you wouldn’t otherwise do. But if he is over there or not over there, it really doesn’t matter. The thing that is going to want him to come back to you is time and healing and seeing you be the attractive woman you were when he fell in love with you.
Do you guys have plans for the birthday today?
I really want to believe the above story. I hope its true. anyways no papers have been sign at all and im not planning on signing anything either. no we didnt agree on anything but he keeps saying hes gonna bring a cake and he wants to take her ice skating without me. :-/ shes scared and wants to go regular skating. :-/ idk whats gonna happen, I dont think I want to even be here when he comes by. I feel scared to see him to be honest and not ready to confront him. :-/ any advise? what do you guys think he hasnt even tried to reach me at all as of yet. anyone? thanks
so I just found out ive lost him forever. we talked and well he said at one point or another that I havent change, and he said well never ever get back together again. :‘( he know he told my oldest he could hang out with who ever he wants. wtf? I know he told his mom something but she didnt tell me and said he went in to pay the phone. he said in a few months hes gonna stop paying the bills and im gonna have to pay them. I may have to get rid of my car. :’( also he said that we cant make it work that we were always fighting and that at the end he wasnt holding me because he wasnt feeling love for me. but he never told me anything. he came to my door and said he calls everyone sweety and he said that I also made him feel insecure and now his self esteem is high. Ive notice. ;-( he said we use to fight a lot I told him that we could fix that and he said no I told him why cant we try concealing and he said it wouldnt work and then said he didnt want to try anymore. I told him your showing the kids to give up and he said hes showing the girls not to stay with a cheater. he said he gave me a chance already because of the kids and I screwed it up. he also said that these are the consequences to ones actions and sometimes you dont know what you have till its gone. I asked if I could come along he said no and that the kids are gonna have to get use to that. at one point he said maybe in the future my oldest threw an egg and he got mad cause some of it landed on his pants and he started saying the same thing all over again. he told me to go look for his cousin or the other guy. I told him he doesnt have to disrespect me. he said to take the guy away from my mother and go with him that he would want me over her. he also said that if I went looking for other guys I could find others. I told him I didnt go looking for anyone and he said or kept saying no to me. he also said that im getting to close to him and that to not touch his stuff that he doesnt touch mines, (lies) he also said that he never stalked me and that he never called his mom asking if i was dating anyone. he said that he told her he hopes i was with someone and that i was happy. he also said that he doesnt want me to be sad that he wants me to be happy. that he already forgot about me and doesnt feel anything for me. he said that some other things i dont remember atm. he wants his divorce and once he gets it he doesnt want to be married to me anymore. he said that hes only gonna think of me as his first love mother of his kids and care for me as the mother of his kids. I feel so hurt idk what to do. I dont want to lose my husband. he said he wish he could end this fast because of the kids and I said us he kept saying no to me. he also said that he wasnt mad anymore but he ended up getting mad when he was saying go with those other people. I heard it in his voice. he also said he wont ever trust me again and there was never nothing there. he also said that he would come home from work and he had to cook and clean which wasnt true because I would do it. anyways there may be more stuff but I cant remember. so with all this said I guess I lost him forever. I know theres other people out there and whatever it is that everyone says Ive heard it all thing being I dont want to let him go. I love him so much. ive also heard maybe with time but what am I suppose to do. I miss him so much. according to him its that we were used to eachother well him he used to be me im just used to him but its not true. I want and need him in my life. I understand I have to give him time and space and I understand I need to keep focusing on myself and do me ect. blah blah blah I guess theres not one thing I can be told that one person or another hasnt told me. with all this being said and done. is there anything that anyone can tell me or give me adive on to get him back at all? i feel desperate but understand I must be patient. he even told me I wanted him to be a christian and he didnt want to which I responded with thats ok im opened minded now and will follow you and of course nothing work. also he said like if he put most of the work in ther relationship but said we were both at fault for this not working. idk what to do or think. I really miss him and want him back. i miss him like crazy. anyone? ugh thanks:-(
also be honest do ya think I have a chance at getting him back? :‘( ugh my life is over :’(
so I have no idea now if hes going out with her or not but do think there may be something going on there. why does he want to hang out with these people when he knows they’re hypocrites and he would never hang out with anyone or cared for my family before. ugh I want him back so bad
Aamls it feels so sad to hear all this. But what he said seems like he hasn’t healed from your break up. He still has his anger issues and his defence are still up high. He cannot take the fact that you cheated on him off his head. He is frustrated from you and your relationship. Thats why he wants to end it. If he really wanted to end it, he wouldn’t give you mixed signals. Just stay away from him!
if you want an honest answer then I think you might have to sign the papers, but I still think you can get him back!
Give him the space and most importantly GO GET A JOB FIRST. Get your life on the track. When he’ll see how good you’re doing may be then he’ll realise what he’s missing!
But for that, you need to get you r life sorted. You need to be happy without him…" move on without moving on"
It will make you feel better about the situation and he might give it a thought again!
Don’t ever talk about it. It will take time.
Do not depend on him for anything. Get yourself in a better position and it will also give him time to clear off his head. You had bad memories which are taking more time than usual to fade away as you both being in constant contact!
Why don’t you go on a vacation?
Can you live with someone else other than his mother?
That is some excellent advise divjun has gave you. Move on with your life and leave the door open to the one you love. You can’t change the situation right now, but things can always change.
If hes dating someone else, it might help you getting him back. He will remember the good things about you.
Dont let him ruin your life and happiness. You deserve happiness.
thanks guys, divjun what are the mix signals hes sending me? Im thinking already after today of doing full blown no contact. I just talked to my youngest and he was on his phone. :‘( my youngest didnt know who he was talking to either. anyways she wanted me to go and I wanted to go skating but he said he would mine if I go to the skating rink. so I said I’ll respect his wishes. I feel so sad. :’( but yes I’ve apply in a lot of places like crazy and am going to keep applying. I hate that I cant even land a job. I however am going to keep looking till I find one and Im going to continue to try to get a home and get my stuff together, they were my plans and i thought the same way he may see me getting my shit together and may change his mind. if anything at least i’ll get my stuff together if i dont get him back. I was hoping this wouldnt happen. Im not signing those papers and giving him an easy out. I feel like hes talking to that stupid cousin of mine and I feel like shes one of the reasons hes not trying to get back with me. how can he go there like he knew these people forever when he would barley talk to these people? know hes hanging out with them is hurting me a lot. why is he doing that. divjun what are the mix signals hes giving me I dont see them but in a way still sense him angry but by what he was saying he sounded indifferent as he said he wasnt mad anymore and already forgot about me and doesnt feel anything for me but then he gets mad later on telling me about go with those guys ect. also he did say maybe in the future and mention friendship again but doesnt even want me next to him. wtf? im so confused with this situation. does it sound like he still has feeling for me even though hes saying what hes saying? im so hurt and miss him and love him so much. I think his cousin wants to talk to him. I trust her a lot and he loves her like a sister. shes gonna see if he opens up. shes the only one that even mention about it since she knows how I feel. I guess to try to help me better, idk, he hasnt talked to her in a while though. I really miss him so much. I wish it was her the person who he was talking to, but I’ll have to ask her. I love him so much. so yeah I guess no contact unless he invites me to thanksgiving dinner lol unless he goes to my stupid cousins house or something. thanks guys for all your help. if it wasnt for you guys idk where I would have been. Im still depress but I have a fight to win. :-/ I really hope you guys get your ex’s back. and I’ll be wishfull hoping to have him back. thanks
well he is cheating. his mother called him telling him everything about me crying and all. he took my youngest to those peoples house. that bitch gave my youngest a gift. and apparently everyone is all happy. a little girl told my daughter that they kissed on the lips in the dark. (maybe it wasnt today but another day) anyways he kissed them the bitch cousin and her sister in law on the cheeck. now it makes sense why he didnt want me to tag along. im so hurt. he wanted to talk to me but I said no. he knows my number and can text or call me whenever. anyways he told his stupid mother that if I had any questions and wanted to know anything to call him and ask or whatever. why the fuck is all this happening to me. his mother told him what I said that kids dont lie and he started laughing on the phone she said why are you laughing and she said oh because its a lie. this is bullshit. Im never ever ever getting my husband back and he doesnt care and she is the biggest bitch ever. I know his mother is not only going to tell him every move I make but everything she sees hears everything. im so hurt. he was also supposedly drinking with her father. wtf? but he doesnt want him in his house so they go to her brothers, everyone in my family knows about this and they most of them are hypocrites but now im a talked about laughing stalk and they are getting what they want. yesterday he told his mom supposedly they know hes a hard worker and they invited him over there. anyone I feel so desperate and dont know what to do or how to act. I told his mom I dont ever ever ever want my kids next to those people ever again. he said ok to her. I’ve officially lost my husband to this stupid cousin who I’ve heard her husband left her because she cheated on him and she lied saying they separated because they said they were never gonna cheat so they split and supposedly she left him. wtf? can anyone give me adivse. I dont and wont talk to him he wants the divorce. he told my oldest this is the way its gonna be for now on. he lied to me and said he was gonna bring a cake to sing happy birthday and he didnt. he was in my room for a few minutes today looking at me. I was laying down acting like i was sleeping. they are buying my youngest with gifts and I wanna get rid of it but she likes it. please help. thanks
Hi, aamls. Just let him be and create a life for you and your kids that you can enjoy. He is going to still need to help you with money and child support. I don’t know what kind of lawyer he had draw up the papers, but he should be paying something IF you do end up getting a divorce. You may want to have a lawyer of your own look at the papers that IF you end up signing them you know what is in there. I am not a legal professional. But I think you need one. I know that you don’t have a job or money, but there should be some way to get legal help for not much money. in your area. Ask at the library if they know of anything.
He definitely still has some feelings for you otherwise he wouldn’t be so emotional about this process. AS hard as it is for the kids, it is probably a good thing that he doesn’t want you going to stuff because that means it is hard for him to be around you. If he didn’t care, then it would be easy for him. And he wouldn’t care if you were there or not. You know what I mean?
Also, God can always restore a marriage. You shouldn’t be talking to your husband about being christian. You can talk to God about your husband.
btw he took my youngest out all day and brought her home late I didnt get to celebrate with her at all because of him im her mother and I needed to be there not this shit going on anyone please help thanks
You have got to find a way to plan these activities with him for the sake of the kids.