Also at first he said “ok it can be in the afternoon” and later said “i dont have anything for now but I dont know if I will schedule something in the meantime”. So at first he just said yes and then was more like putting me second again. Maybe I am thinking too much I dont know
Hi Kaila,
You are thinking too much. Much like me. Don’t overthink things.
Without putting a dampener on things, I don’t think there’s much point to the mind games most of the time. When you were first together did you do these kind of things to get his attention? If you’re talking about something potentially coming up in your schedule, then he probably will do the same. You said you were unsure about the weather and would let him know so he responded with the same.
I’m not saying feel bad about it or anything, I just don’t know if it matters? Or works?
You have his time as people as have said previously. I think being overly present on this site can sometimes lock you in that insecure mindset. I do it too, every time I get somewhere I start questioning it like crazy.
That’s what has stop. That’s still your worries from the breakup interfering. It wouldn’t be there if you’re in the right frame of mind to get him back. Which I’m sure you are, just keep your head on straight. Be cool.
California, we were together for 5 months. It’s been 3. I think it’s more than enough to solve things in his head. To overcome the negative. He either misses me, and would like to get back, and we start doing it together. Or he kind of would like to get back but is just doing his thing now, and thinks im here waiting so he isnt worried.
And if the second one is true, I don’t want to let it keep like that. Because one day I will have a surprise, a bad surprise. If I just let him be and he keeps thinking im here. That is why I wanted to show him my time is valueable, and I’m not just here all the time for him whenever he wants. And next week I want to get a real sense of where we stand, because as I said he if he is just like “whatever im’a do ma thing and get back to her whenever” I can’t let that go on. I will have to let him know the time is running out… It’s what I feel… I hope I was clear : x
@kaila you are overthinking and its normal but you need to just breath and take a brake haha everything is going great! I’m happy for you you’ll get to see your ex again! My only advice is to touch from time to time and be friendly so dont act like your a couple thats very important if he tries to kiss you go with the flow if he wants to fuck restrain yourself! Dont do it make him wait!!!
But everything is going great 
kiss me? lol. w have seen each other a few times since the break up he never tried anything lol
there’s a girl liking his pictures and i think they have been texting and possibly went out at least once -.-’ argh
Maybe but dont let it affect you! And you never know he might try 
Meh. I am really nervous. I don’t know if and how I should approach the issue. I am thinking of asking what he thinks of us hanging out more often maybe
But hey kaila could you answer my post? 
https://www.forum.exbackpermanently.com/boards/topic/is-it-ever-really-over/page/2/#post-38812
Thanks alot
I just found a video on my phone of a really nice day. It has some funny stuff in it and all. Im have a meet up for the weekend. Should I send it to him before? Or maybe show it when we are together? What do you think?
Its been 3 months. I never begged. I did talk about getting back and he said he wasnt ready (last time was a month ago). I never really did much to bring happy memories up. Im thinking I should have done it long ago. What do you think if I do it now? Sometimes even I forget about the good moments. Im afraid our relationship is so out of his head already he wont remember anything
I dont know about this i tried doing that and it backfired if the moment is very intimate or the feelings were very strong i’d say no but if it was something you both cherished and had happy times in during bliss then ya!
What did you share with her?
I sent her a text she sent me telling me how she felt and how happy she was with me
Yes well that is straight feelings. This was us in a park feeding huge fish and ducks x)
Oh well ya do it add a funny comment to it “this was a fun day!”
Hello Kaila,
Finally I answer. I only read back a few days. But I think I get the general jist of things.
Firstly, maybe you sent the video, but I wouldn’t. Leave that stuff for some other time.
So here are my thoughts. You had a relationship with this guy. It doesn’t matter if it was 5 months or 5 years. It is over. It is in the past. That is the mistake that everybody makes. You have to accept that. You have been broken up for 3 months. Whatever happened in that time is none of your business. That’s hard to hear but is the truth. What you did is none of his business either.
You think you want him ‘back’. That’s the wrong way to think. You want him. Full stop. You want this guy. There are other girls interested probably. But your advantage is that you 2 had something before. I didn’t read back far enough to see what happened but it’s always the same. It got messed up and that was that.
So go and get him. What is your problem? You are entitled to nothing from him. This is like trying to get a new man, except he happens to also be your old man. But I think you will get what I am saying. The fact he wants to meet is good. Really good. It means that he wants to see how you are. If he is missing something.
So when you meet you have to be really cool. Try not to come across as nervous. Just be cool. Do not bring up any past problems. Chat about anything but don’t bring up something stupid. Bite your tongue. Even if the worst possible thing happens and he says he has a girl, still be cool. You can still get him. Believe in yourself.
There is nothing more unattractive for a man than a woman too obsessed with him. We love the chase; the wonder, the thrill. Act cool, be normal, have fun and when it’s time to go suggest doing it again sometime soon. He will say yes. Suggest something (not something exact but a general time). And then keep going from there. Meet a second time and do something similar to the first. Give a few compliments and so on.
The way to get him back is to realise that it’s over. You have to start again. You got him before so do it again.
It was suggested on here by a previous poster to ease up on this site. I agree. Don’ get all worked up every day and come here looking for all the answers. People can give advice but at the end of the day you have to figure it all out yourself in your own head.
So enjoy your date/meet-up. Have fun. Be calm and cool. Flirt only if the opportunity arises but don’t throw yourself at him. This first meet up is to show him how good you are and how relaxed you are.
Hope I have helped.
Thank you for the advice Patrick! I don’t know if you read the first post, but we have seen each other 5 times during this time. 3 for a shortish coffee, 2 to hang out a bit more, saturday I think it’s gonna be more of an hang out as well. So, not the first meet up…
Thank you for your words on saying that whatever has happened or he has done, or is doing, I can still get him back, to trust myself. Thank you, I needed to hear that. But, I am a bit afraid for myself. I have been as down in the dumps as I ever been in my life. I had some very scary thoughts. Also as I said I am affraid he is just trying to keep me around while forgetting me a bit more everyday. Whereas by maybe having a more definite conversation he could be shaken up a bit and wake up. Keeping with this it’s hard for me. And I feel if I don’t try this, he will just keep getting farther from me, until the day he is lost for good. But my main focus should be myself these days before the meet up and then just have fun with him, do as you say and see where it goes from there.
Also I agree about not coming here as much but with this meet up coming up I feel I need to get advice from outsiders and not just my messy head. Also to clear it a little bit.
Oh, and no I didn’t send the video. But was thinking of showing it to him
Also I was thinking of making a desert his dad does, and ask him to come inside to try it before we go. Just would bring happy memories, and also coming inside would probably be nostalgic to him
When people feel a certain way, others pick up on that. It’s a hidden sense that we have that we don’t understand fully or some don’t even believe.
You say you feel terrible. Why? Is it because you have been obsessing about losing him? Well, guess what? You did! 3 months ago. So stop feeling sorry for yourself. Stop living in fear of the terrible thing happening. It already did and you survived. (Unless there is something else that I didn’t read? Too late at night to go back through it all)
So have some confidence in yourself for god sake. Stop being scared. He can pick up those frightened feelings and scary thoughts.
Spend the next 3 days looking at all the good things in your life. You are alive. You can make decisions and determine your own destiny. You have the power already so don’t go playing games with him. They don’t work. Believe me.
And then on Saturday be cool. And get him. You got him before. Now do it again. If he notices a change and asks then say things happened. You were talking to someone or whatever. Don’t mention here whatever you do.
You will be fine. I believe you can do this. So please spend a few days being thankful. Write down the good things. And he is still in your life. That should tell you something. He hasn’t disappeared which most would do.
Good luck
just show the video if the opportunity arises. Then just pretend that you saw it a few days earlier. the dessert is fine.