@divjun but you CANNOT give in. I know right now it is easy for me because he has done so much to me and all I ever did was show him love. I mean he pushed me away. So in actuality, I am gone. Whether he comes for me in the future, I will have decide if I want that. I don’t know if he will, a little part of me hopes he does, but if he doesn’t I’ve already accepted it and I’m moving forward with my life.
@ellie96 also because we had something special it’s so hard to let go
@ellie96 and @divjun both of you were in a relationship where it didn’t end really well right? And now hopefully the exes regret what they did?
But mine’s like we just split cooly - not sure if NC works the same! I can’t possibly ignore all the time and appear I’m mad at her, can I?
@Mj I completely understand how it is hard to let go after something special. My exboyfriend was my best friend, my high school sweetheart, my first love, and everything in between! The split was bad because he has anger problems. Then things became good between us. It had to take that big blow out for me to get closure and realize it isn’t worth it anymore. Yes, your relationship ended cooly. So wouldn’t nc actually make more sense? Think about it, by ignoring her she is thinking “Well, where did he go? What did I do? Is he really gone forever?” She may at first be mad or sad, but it is going to make her evaluate everything. If you just stand on the sidelines and decide to be her friend, you have a higher chance of being friend zoned and watching her be with someone else.
@ellie96 You definitely have a point there.Just miss her so much!
@Mj I know you miss her, but don’t you want her to miss you even more? Trust me, it’ll work. You both gotta figure your own stuff out before you figure stuff out together.
I agree with @ellie
And @mj our probably are thinking about us because they were also in relationship with us for the same time as us. She is also missing you but may be not admitting it.
I just hopea we get back soon and he becomes the same person i fell in love with.
He never shows any feelings or emotions. But the fact his last text was about he missing me kinda gives me hope. As missing someone also feeling something and showing emotions. Would he be getting better again?
@ellie96 hopefully one day she will and give me the chance to work the stuff out together.
@divjun i dont even think if trying togget back is a good idea. I’ll be enlisting in the army later this year and its gonna be tough if we do get back together. She mentioned it too, that with her commitment issues causing us to be like that now, it will be worse later on.
@divjun Possibly, but you don’t want him to be better for a couple months and then fall down that path again. You guys will have to work something out when NC is over!
@Mj Then just focus on your life and whatever happens happens. She does love you but you can’t be just concerned with her. You need to be with family and friends right now. She chose to walk out of your life. She will realize it. Don’t give her a reason not to realize it.
@ellie96 yup I know. It would be so much better to have someone supporting you though.
@Mj You have friends and family that support you though! Look at the big picture instead of the little one. When I was suicidal, no one else’s support mattered. All I wanted was his… Now that I look back, I didn’t need his support. You don’t need hers either.
There’s really good advice given out on this post. You should all be proud of helping out one another. I think without this site I would have broken down a long time ago. And after reading the last few posts I feel better. I’m not going to give up on getting her back yet. I’m going to show her I can/have changed. 5 years is a lot of time to be together so I know she must still love me, I just need for her to find it again. Thank you all
GUYS!
I cannot believe what just happened.
Its day 7 of NC. I was doing great. Still thinking and dreaming about him but I was moving forward.
I got a text from him saying hi. At first I wasn’t going to answer, but last time I saw him he was pretty sad because of his grandmas death and we had an amicable encounter. So when he texted me I answered.
He asked me if i remembered his app store password, witch I do, but said no instead. He kept insisting but I said no. My answers were short and precise.2 minutes in the conversation I said: I can’t talk right now, busy, bye. He then answered and said: If you hate me so much just tell me, that way I won’t text you again. I did not answer.
What do you think this means? Was this just an excuse or does he really think he can still use me for whatever he wants?
@lolita Just keep up with NC. Don’t talk to him at all. It’s too soon. Even if he isn’t trying to use you, he can easily turn back that way if you only haven’t talked to him in 7 days. Keep up with NC. He was just using that as an excuse to talk to you.
@RustyRed After 5 years there is no way that she doesn’t still love you. She really does have to find it again. NC is the perfect way to do so.
@ellie96 yes everything that you said is right!
@RustyRed The boards have definitely helped me through a lot…
@lolita I think he just wants to start a conversation with you using the password thing
Guys, he called me and I didnt answer and he called his cousin (my friend) too. Then he texted me and said “I’m coming to your house” I didn’t respond and then he texted me Nevermind, I’m tired of trying to get ahold of you. You are going to do whatever you want to do. Have a good life" Do you think he is ever going to talk to me again?
hey @ellie is he still coming over? if he is, might as well talk it out?
No he texted me and flat out told me he was coming over! I’m not home but I never responded! Then he sent me that text saying Nevermind, I’m tired of trying to get ahold of you. You are going to do whatever you want to do. Have a good life". Then I called my mom and she told me he called her and they talked. He basically asked her to ask me to call him and that he doesn’t know what he wants right now so he knows we can’t be together. He also told her that if its the last time he gets to talk to me then it is but he just wants to talk to me about some things.
I don’t know whether I should or not. I don’t have anything to say. I feel like if I give in and talk to him then he has the last word, but also maybe he needs clarity. If I decide to talk to him, I would rather do it in person as well instead of over the phone. That would be a more respectful away to say goodbye. But at the same time I am just like, does this situation deserve any respect? Does he deserve my respectful way to handle this after everything he did and said? I am so confused… Please help me with what I should do 