feeling hopeless and confused

I have posted so many threads but didnt get much advices.
So here is my story!
My reltionship with my ex was not going smooth. He was never there for me for past few months. I have complained and even drifted apart. Nothing seems to work for me. We last met on 1st july. He is emotionally unavailable and likes to be alone now. Never talks to me much. We had a fight on 2nd feb and didnt talk for 8 days. I texted him 3-4 times but he never replied. I apologized him a dozen times but he insulted me and pointed out my mistakes even if there wasn’t a single one. He is a kind of a person who never sees his mistake.
The thing being he told me that he wanted to break up on 2nd. I thought he must have said that in anger like he always does. But he said that we already boken up on 10th as well. On 11th, it was my bday he wished me in the morning with normal “hb” msg but i didnt reply. He even called me in the vening. We talked a bit at night but didn’t hear from him on 12th. On 13th i confronted him and we again fought. I didnt contacted him from then. He wished me valentinea day i didnt respond. Then he texted me on 15th as well and called me on 17th. I talked to him on 18th but he was the same. No change. Wasn’t interested in talking. I had told him all the problems and how he was treating me that night but no response from him. Next day he texted again and we were having normal casual talks and in the middle of it he started saying its over and noting can happen now. I asked him have i said a word about it? He saod no but i ll understand some day. He never replied after that and from then i decided to do NC. It is the end of 2nd day of NC and he contacted me on first day but didnt hear anything from him today.
I dont know what he wants.
He is like pushing and pulling me at the same time.
If we really broke up then why is he talking to me and was actually getting jealous that i was continuously online on my phone.
Why did he wish me vday? And i dont know why the heck he brought up our break up from nowhere when we were having a casual talk. He is dominating and egoistic person. Did he want me to apologize and thats the reason why he is reminding me of break up?
He knows that now i cut him off from my life when im sad or disturbed and i come back when i feel okay.it irritates me but thats what i have become when i find no love and affection from his side.
I cant read his mind and i honestly dont know what he wants. Can somebody help me?

He dated 3.5 years and both are 20 years old and live just 5 mins away from eachother.

We*

i can try to chime in. just as a warning though, this is MY anaylsis of the situation so i could be wrong.

he clearly does not know what he wants at the moment. there could be numerous things that is holding him back at the moment from starting again with you. since HE doesnt know what he wants, there’s just no way you can, too. you have to let him be.

maintain NC and i strongly feel like he’ll start reminiscing and will be ready in the near future.

I hope same too. He treated me real bad. And i have told him that but he never felt guilty about it. So i am just gonna do NC. And he even told me he can’t be with anyone right now and wants to be single and have a simple life.
He were having a lot of problems for so long.

Coming from a guys perspective I kind of did the same thing! I never really showed my ex any attention and we didn’t really hangout even though we lived together! I didn’t treat her as a priority like I should have! I realized this and changing myself and hoping she comes back to me! We broke up two weeks ago but she said she doesn’t feel that way for me anymore and she stopped losing feelings in October which I was playing football at the time and going to school while she was working and going to school! All I have to say is give it time! He will realize that he messed up but also I would wait to see if he’s willing to change. Hope all goes good!

Ummm. Yeah… but he never realise his mistakes but i hope he doea this time because i made hin clear what i want and how he makea me feel. What do you think for how many days should i do NC?

at least 30 days like Kevin’s guideline on this site.

Do no contact until you feel like you got your point across! But also you got to realize sometimes you can’t make people change. They have to want to change. Just stay strong and worry about yourself and be happy

Yeah…i am trying real hard to cope up with this situation. I didn’t receive any text or call from him from last 2 days.
I am planning to do a proper NC till i get what i want and feel good about everything.
I know i cant change people but obviously i can show my value and make him realise what he has lost and how much he actually hurt me.
I love him and miss him alot but i am going to remain strong.

In my oppinion ,if you NC at least 30 days(i dont think will get more than 30 days till he contact you) ,maybe he will change in good.

Hope so… fingers crossed. :v:
Thanks for your support guys :slight_smile:

So he called today… i didnt pick… and he texted after that in a taunting way “:slight_smile: nice ty”
I didnt reply either.
He is getting mad now. But i am still keeping NC!!

Good on you for keeping strong! He must still have feelings for u if he’s getting angry if you don’t answer. Keep the faith, I’m sure you’ll get what u want!

Could you possible read my post, I would like a woman’s opinion on my situation https://www.forum.exbackpermanently.com/boards/topic/show-her-ive-changed/
Mthanks

I really hope he’ll regret what he did to me. I tried each and every way possible to make it work. But just doesn’t see it. He is always pointing out my mistakes. He never regrets anything. He is ready to face all the consequences but wouldn’t accept his mistake EVER. I feel he doesnt even want me. He has never changed for anyone in his entire life.

I’m sure he will relaise sooner rather than latter. Stay strong I hope u get your wish

Hmm.thanks for being so positive about my situation:)

If he’s anything like me he will understand that he’s done wrong. I know every situation is different but I do hope things work out for u.

Clearly he is confused and perhaps doesn’t know how to reconcile with you. he seems to be a little bit selfish and only thinks about his feelings so if you do the NC it should help him realize that he was being inconsiderate of you so give it time do the NC for 30 days and he should be trying to contact you after that and try responding and see what is on his mind, but if you’re stubborn you never know.