Just to add: unlike your ex, mine hasn’t sent me ANY mixed messages. So maybe your case is different. Maybe you could send a text and see what the response is? Keep it brief, casual, fun, follow Kevin’s instructions (for texting after NC). GOOD LUCK
SM I can relate to parts of your story so much!
i.e. April breakup, 50+ days no contact
Its so frustrating how they do this!!! i.e. hugging, looking into your eyes
He did the same to me - He hugged ME when we met, he gave ME compliments, he hovered his hand over the table like the whole meeting as if he was resisting touching my face, told me the next day he wanted to kiss me so badly and wished he’d had, yet communicate so irregularly and poorly afterwards
WHY give such mixed messages, why do they do it!!!
Its so unfair and selfish!
The only difference is, and not sure how much of importance it is, but we didn’t meet to say goodbye, we met to catch up and the conflicting things he said was like “I don’t want a friendship to mess up our relationship”. HUH!!!
I’ve tried to act as cool as possible, saying we can be platonic friends, but it was a private joke between us and we’d always end up flirting
I’ve made a few mistakes in my attempt to get him back - The morning of the last conversation (52 days ago) I told him I missed him “today”
He was like “oh 
only today”
and to try and salvage the situation I said “mainly today ;)”
after about 5 minutes he followed up with he missed me too
It upset me because of the way he hesitated, do you think he just said it to make me feel better?
Hi Pixie25, you know, now that you’ve said a bit more about your story, I think your situation is actually far more encouraging than mine - and I don’t think your last exchange, 53 days ago, was “a mistake” at all. It’s a good sign that he responded, and a great thing that he said he missed you, and it is great that you left it at that and didn’t follow up or respond in any way. This means you took all your power back!
I agree that he is sending you mixed messages, but I don’t think your case is perhaps as straightforward as mine - I really think my ex doesn’t love or miss me at all, and probably never did; I think he just feels bad that he hurt me so much, and probably feels guilty too, and doesn’t want to see me ever again. I think when we met for coffee he was really saying, in his own way, sorry, and the fact that he didn’t actually kiss me means a lot.
In your case, I do get a sense that your ex is struggling with his decision to break up, and trying to be consistent (Kevin explains that guys really want to do that), trying to figure out what he wants, but still holding on to you.
I think it’s wonderful that you’ve been able to keep NC for 53 days - you should feel proud of your strength - in your situation, I’m not sure I’d have managed it. Now, break it, but make sure not to say anything like “I miss you” “I love you” “why did you break my heart” etc - nothing about the relationship or breakup, nothing emotional. Just reach out as you would to a friend. See if he responds. One text, that’s it. Can you maybe come up with something that reminded you of him - as Kevin suggests - and just say, for ex, “hey I walked past x today, or saw Y today, and it reminded me of that time we’d done Z. How’re you doing”
Something like that?
I’m panicking
I contacted him - 1 message - He blew up my phone with like 4 replies, but its dying out
Dont know what to say!!!
WOW! Good girl!!! Why are you panicking?? Four replies is GREAT! I didnt even get one I’m so jealous…!
What did he say? What did you say initially?
Maybe dont respond for an hour or so?
Made a joke with a meme picture.
joke fizzled out and now its just slowwww and awkward!!! omg.
Seriously doubting whether I should have done this
Slow jokes not good and dont want to bring up boring topics like work
Any advice?
Not initiating contact again
Conversation started good for like 5 minutes then just died out so fast - Banter, quick replies, talked a little about work but just felt like nothing there anymore - Felt like the conversation was being strained and pushed a bit
SM I really wish I had listened to you - Gonna go back into no contact but I feel OK - Havent cried or broke down lol so it will be OK this time
Just wait it out, don’t write again, hopefully he will write to you. If he doesn’t, maybe in a few days send him another text? Maybe you’re already at the stage where you can playfully create a sort of texting relationship, and then, after a few days, see if you can try to meet? Or maybe that;s just too much too soon. For now, just enjoy the fact that he responded, immediately, and keep him guessing. Follow Kevin’s advice! keep your cool. Remember, you can’t show him that you want to get back with him! Good for you for trying!
I feel like absolute horse poop
Was so awkward and slow like chalk scraping across a chalkboard
Not how I planned it to go!!!
I’m sure you were great. Don’t worry. The important this is that you contacted him and he responded. Now give it a few days, maybe even a week. Let him be curious about you!
Okay, will wait it out and see what happens but don’t think enough build up was made, talked for an hour and a half but was so slow.
Until something happens - Day 1 of NC lol!!!
Yes, just stay quiet for a few days unless be replies. Let him initiate contact this time.
So I initiated contact after 52 days no contact.
We talked day for about an hour and a half and didn’t think it was successful.
The next day he initiated contact in the morning.
We talked (nothing to do with relationship - jokes/fun stuff) for about 6 hours - slowly paced through the day.
should I initiate contact today or leave it? - Not heard anything from him yet
How are you doing pixie25? Are you back on NC? Or did he reach out to you? I hope, whatever the case, that you are doing well and being strong. Good luck!
Hey SM.
I’m okay, how are you? Was kinda sad when I read you wouldn’t be coming back!!!
I am now back in no contact yes, third day.
We spoke four times last week, taking it in turns to initiate but it gets to a Monday morning fresh week and he does what he normally does, gets bored I guess and never contacts again until I do.
I realised last week that him replying me and talking to me like old times, is not a good scenario. At this rate I’ll never move on and he probably doesn’t want me to. It’s been seven months, barely a phonecall, one meeting. The rest is just texting. This is a sign he doesn’t want me, I’ve just finally read the sign!!!
How’s everything with you? Any news?
It definitely would have been better if he hadn’t replied.
Back to the stage of longing for him to contact me, whereas 52 days in, I was in a better place.
Its pathetic - why do we do it!!! lol
Update on my situation
i’ve been in a mess these last three weeks. Phone within reach, hoping for replies. In the last three weeks we’ve talked 9 days out of 21, usually the conversations last all day. Sometimes he’s initiated, but the last few times have been me. Currently 3 days without contact.
I’ve decided I’m bored of this, I’m sick to death of making myself feel like this, it’s been 7 months and I should have moved on by now, instead I’ve put myself back to square one. I read an article about texting your ex which basically said texting is the laziest form of communication so that’s put the last 6 months of texting (less the NC periods) into absolute perspective. He’s hardly phoned.
He doesn’t want me and I shouldn’t have to persuade!
Hope you’re doing OK SM, looks like you haven’t been on here in a while so well done for moving on 
Dear Pixie25, how are you doing? I HOPE you will not contact your ex again, and I hope you’re feeling stronger and better every day. I’m SO glad you feel bored and sick and tired of feeling as you have done for the last seven months. I DO TOO!!! And this is the best sign that you’re ready to move on, and to leave you ex behind. I’m very glad to be back in touch with my ex myself (I wrote an update on my original post) but only because he wrote nicely, and apologized for having been out of touch for so long. I DO NOT WANT HIM back, on any account, and I consider it a personal victory of sorts that I really genuinely feel that. I’m very happy to be single and free now. And if, somewhere down the line, I meet someone else wonderful and special, then I’ll be happy too. But every option is better than what i’ve had for the last seven months, which is pining after a man who does not love me or value me the way I loved and valued him. I deserve better, and so do you , Pixie 25. Even if he does write to you now, don’t respond till you feel like you don’t care. Really. And reach out here if you need to feel some support and solidarity. I’m thinking of you, and hoping you can turn the corner soon, if you haven’t already. I have, and it feels wonderful. A weight off my back. NO MORE TEARS!