Hi guys, I’m now on day 17 of no contact. Yes it’s been hard but I’ve been trying to keep busy. We haven’t spoke during no contact bar one txt she sent me to tell me about final bills on our old place. I replied with ‘thanks for letting me know’ one thing that’s bothering me is in that txt. She ended it with I hope your ok. I would like to know if that was her way of trying to start a convo? And did I shoot her down with my reply. I’m nearly there with no contact so I’ll be finishing it before I reach out. We were together for 5 years. I plan on sending her a written letter out on day 28/29. I hope she wants to re-contact some how and doesn’t tottaly ignore me
i cant make it 30 days my friend.broke the NC yesterday.maybe screw it all.hope you do better than me.all the wishes.
Why what happened?
if you have the kidness read my post.talk to her yesterday…maybe screw it all…
Her text may or may not have been a conversation starter, but it was almost certainly trying to ease her guilt, just like when people say “I hope we can still be friends.” Since you didn’t tell her if you are ok or not, she’ll likely try harder to contact you. Then you just have to tell her that you don’t want to ignore her, but you need some time before you can speak to her again.
Why would she feel guilty though?
I planned on doing 30 days NC today is day 7 and she contacted me on day 7
she texted me.
“Hey how are you doing?”
i replied i’m doing good how about you?
she says “i’m well.i don’t really have anything to say but for the last few days i’ve been thinking about you and just praying that everything is well with you so i’m happy to hear you are good.”
I kept it cool and said “Thanks for checking up on me. everything is good. I’m just leaving the gym with a friend. glad to hear you’re doing well ;)”
she replies “Okay have a good night ttyl”
Now i’m back to NC i feel like this is a good sign and motivation to finish the month without contacting her first. so i’ll just wait.
What do you guys think? I’m still going to not contact her first until next month, as i’m continuing NC.
Thanks
That’s good, your on her mind. Keep going with no contact. I’m sure she will contact u again. U did well with playing it cool. That’s what u need to do. Keep us posted I wish u all the best!
@tighem if she wants to contact my why doesn’t she, as for the guilt thing why would she, she finished with me! I’m so confused with this all I want to reach out but I also want to finish my no contact period. But then Im worried when I finish it what if she doesn’t want to contact me back!
I’m finding things hard I want to txt her so bad but I don’t want to break my no contact and ruin all my hard work. I’m confused why hasn’t see got in touch! Help
Hi Gingerone (rustyred?)
Same with my ex… we have broken up 3half weeks now and she only contacted me once to ask me when i could pick up my stuff at her house… Im on day 13 of NC and she havent contacted me once.
It feels shit and like they dont care there was even a relationship. Even though they want to be friends but how can you be friends when you dont contact. This makes me angry and i use this for NC…
They could also be hurt themselves and thats why they dont contact. Im not a psychology expert so i dont know.
I have the same feeling guys. My ex has contacted me one time, and that was just hi how are you and to tell me he deleted me off facebook.
I’m at the same stage where I just think I don’t know if he cares anymore or not. I think he doesn’t but all I can do is NC!
@Gingerone she feels guilty simply because she knows she hurt you. She never wanted to do that, even if she wanted out of the relationship. As far as her not contacting you, it’s because she doesn’t think that the relationship will work out. She still remembers the bad times, and she needs time to sort out her feelings and start missing you.
Hi guys. I’m not sure what to think, no contact is breaking me. Even though I know I need to finish it.
Today was a bad day at work, and the van broke down on the way home. Usually I would get home after a bad day and she would make me feel better I miss her. I’m starting to think I have no chance of winning her back.
As for her not getting in contact I’m so confused. I thought she might have by now. But also I know she is stubborn and maybe after her txt last time where I was a bit cold maybe she thinks why bother. I’m not sure what to think. @tighem maybe you are right she feels guilty because she knows she hurt me even if she didn’t want to. @kd1988 I’m sure he cares but is trying to hide it. Men can act strange, I think it’s his pride more than anything.@ mooney yes maybe you are right and they are hurting that’s why they don’t contact and knowing we’re not contacting so why should they.
I think I’m going to send out my letter end of this week start of next. What do u think?
@amy111 what do u think, your advice is always good to have.
She txt me again today about bills, saying that there ready. So what should I do I was planing on sending a letter but now after her txt I’m not sure what to do, should I txt her back asking to meet up for coffee and sort bills out etc and forget the letter. Or meet up sort things out then send the letter any way I’m confused. Her txting me has thrown me a bit. I had a plan
@Gingerone I would still still with your plan. Reply to her about the bills, keep it short and simple. And still send your letter. They are two separate things.
I am in a similar position. I had my letter ready to send yesterday and my ex emailed me at work, just general chit chat. And it stopped me from sending my letter because I thought now it just looks stupid me sending him a letter after we have just spoken. So I am going to wait until the end of the week and send it anyway. Or maybe I won’t lol. I can’t decide what is for the best!
After I txt her we’ll probebly need to meet up to sort things out (bills etc) so I was thinking of asking her out for coffee just as friends no pressure. If she excepts and that’s an IF i was thinking of giving her the letter at the end. I’ll have to txt her back at some point. I haven’t as yet. I’m not sure how she’ll reply if I ask to meet for coffee. I’m thinking of making it look like its nothing two friends going for a drink and a catch up.
Again at the end of her txt she ‘hope your ok’ not sure what to think of this. Does she still feel something? Is it nothing? She could have easily txt me about bills etc without that at the end! Am I overthink it?
It’s good she emailed you, what did u make of it was he trying to see how you are? @KD1988