True, I was going to get a haircut yesterday but I decided against it lol
So I tried to turn off his chat for me because he did that as well, I looked in the settings button on his chat and instead of hitting that button I called him but cancelled it right away. I just wrote sry mistake because I thought it would look weird when he saw it. I guess he won’t think it’s a mistake 
but I’ll just keep going on with NC like nothing has happened right? I’m so stupid
You just woke up so I won’t be much help lol
My tired brain doesn’t think it’s a big deal, goodnight!
I know, but thanks anyway 
And go get a haircut! 
I’m in a bad mood today lol, I’m trying to stay positive but…
- People are messaging me saying they hate her new hair yet… they commented on the photo saying “Awesome” and “Love it!” Like wtf really!
I’m also not the biggest fan of her hair, I’m happy for her because she was bold enough to try out a new thing but… I dunno, I hope she likes it ?
- Trump… sorry if you are a supporter, I was hoping Trump would lose, I’m Canadian, but I was born in America so I have dual citizenship.
On another note, I still love Maddie obviously so… after this week (I may extend it by a few days) how should I go about things?
I know I should text her first but after texting gets comfortable should I move into calls? Do you think I should bring up calls and wait for her to call? What if she never calls!
If it all works out what do I say after calls are working out? How should I bring up meeting in person?
Could you guys answer these questions lol, I know what to talk about I just don’t know how or when to implement the next stages in interaction. Like… what if she starts flirting? I don’t think she’d ask me out because she is stubborn, how would I ask her?
Thanks Anni and Patricia
Anni didn’t her turn off his chat with you? Doesn’t that mean the call notification and “sry mistake” text won’t showork up?
Correct me if I’m wrong lol
Don’t mind the people who say her hair is awesome and on the other hand say they don’t like it to you, be mature about it and don’t judge the hair yourself. Just tell them that it’s great she tried out something new like you did here
Trump… we Germans cannot really believe that that happened (again). But that’s another story
Maybe say something about that you wanna show or tell her something (like the good news I mentioned before) but that you’d like to do that in person some time if she is up for it too. Leave her decide, don’t force it. Don’t get upset at her when she is not ready yet. She will be at some point
If she starts flirting it’s really good, no?
No, he didn’t block me, he only turned it off so that I don’t see anymore when he is online. But he gets the messages and stuff. I believe he did that so he doesn’t see when I’m online either and doesn’t get “hurt” by seeing my name all the time, if that makes sense.
My day is really weird too and I feel so insecure today…
I’m dying lol you said (again)
Nice sense of humor 
Yeah well you have to joke about situations like this sometimes otherwise it’s no fun at all.
Oh what really makes me mad atm is that Trump became president because people like my ex (he was born in America) who were able to vote said “I’m not voting because I don’t want any of them to be president”. And now they all (including him) are liking posts about how horrible it is that Trump became president. I really would like to tell him my opinion to this but instead I’m gonna eat it up and continue NC
Lol so true!
okay he just wrote me “it’s okay, don’t worry” and a few min later a big smiley face.
How are you doing so far today?
Good to hear he approached it so well.
I’m not doing very good lol, today’s one of those days. Music isn’t helping, I’m tired and I have no motivation. She seems to be changing so much and there’s nothing I can do about it. She seems so happy without me and it’s very discouraging, everyone thinks this way after a breakup “how can she be so happy?” I’m just scared I want to be with her so much, I just don’t want her to be cold or act like a different person when I contact her in a week.
Help.
Hmmm would meditation help you (maybe yoga or sports in general)? I did that yesterday when I couldn’t distract myself with anything else (I just googled a youtube video). And it really helped
Or can you call a friend to meet up?
Go out, change stuff on yourself too like a new haircut, clothes, sports etc. you will feel better and you will stop thinking about “what if she says/does… next wekk?”. You should be at the point when you contact her that you will stay calm no matter what happens. I know it’s hard.
That’s nearly impossible If I was at that point I wouldn’t see the point in trying to be with her at all lol.
No I have a class today at 4:00-6:00pm so I need to get ready and leave at 3:00pm because of this I need to sit at home lol.
Meditation won’t work, it’ll just give me a quite and relaxing time to think about her
What I need is for Trump to step down, Maddie love me, school to be easier and to have my license…
Well but what you are doing atm is still obsessing about her even if you don’t think you do. You cannot think about her nonstop, you and her both have a life besides each other (school, friends, hobbies, family).
By starting to concentrate more on yourself and change yourself (which you have already started so that’s great), you learn to less think/obsess about her (“How will she react? What will she say? Why is she happy without me?” and so on).
Of course we all wonder about those things until we finally contact our exes again but it should be way less than you do right now 
I thought so about meditation too but the point of meditation is to let go of all your problems and feelings for that while and just relax, it really works just depends if you let it work yourself
I have had a lot of bad things happen in my life, I got diagnosed with cancer when I was born (beat it), my dad left and is currently an alcoholic who I barley talk to, I have also had other people who I called “dad” leave over the years. I tried meditation, it didn’t help because I am unable to let go of these problems, it often just leavs me alone to think deeply about these things.
My ex-girlfriend was one thing that made most of my problems, fears and doubts go away. For two years we cared for each other (I still care for her obviously ) She broke up with me so suddenly, she said she’d been thinking for a couple months but she kept quiet, even through those months she acted happy…
Anyways I tend to obsess when I am left alone for a long period of time, right now I’m alone. My best friend moved too far from me to get there without planning, school is tethering me to my house, I can’t play video games with friends because my headset broke… I don’t even want to play.
I am uncapable of keeping myself busy this week, the only thing I can do is schoolwork which is more painful then silence sometimes lol.
I was doing so good last week, I had lots to do, I was busy. This week I’m not and there is nothing I can do about it, so I’m left alone to think… it’s hard not to obsess when all you can do is work, listen to music and browse online. This week I have just been sleeping an extra 3 - 6 hours when I’m not busy with school, I do this to avoid the boredom…
Sorry for the rant, it’s all I can do right now lol
Oh and that first paragraph was not meant to be a sob story, it was just me explaining why I cant meditate lol
I’m scared to hear that and really sorry that those things have happened to you and get why you don’t want to be left alone with thoughts. Maybe meditation is not the right thing to you but maybe there is something else you really enjoy doing that will make you concentrate on that one thing and forget about all the problems around you. Are you a creative person? You could try out drawing or even those colouring books for adults if you are not the best at drawing (mandalas, I know it sounds like it’s for children but it is reaaally relaxing) and if you are afraid of being alone with your thoughts just turn on some music or an audio book (audio books are so helpful for me). So you have something to listen to and have something “in your hands” (to do), too or maybe you prefer sports or video games, you could play a different game on the computer for which you don’t need a headset? Try out something new, what you have always wanted to try out but never did (would be skateboarding for me for example).
I tend to obsess too when I feel left alone (by friends who disappointed me or my ex) but the reality is: you are not alone. YOu have so many people around you who care for you and love you. I know it’s hard to think of that in those moments and you want to grab onto something like nice moments with your ex. Especially with your background it must be very hard.
But please know even if your ex really doesn’t want to be with you anymore after NC and even though Trump will be president of the United States: Life will go on! And you will find new people and new love again in your life, too. I know that’s not what we all want to hear at the moment because I always hate when friends tell me that because all I know I want is to be with my ex but in the end I know they are right. Time heals everything.
On the other hand I also know that we are great for not giving up on wanting to give our relationships another chance because in our generation everything we want is to be in an easy relationship so we are happy, if there are some fights many people pack their bags and leave because nowadays it’s so easy to find someone new on tinder or the internet. Many of us don’t look at what the problem could cause anymore or don’t even look at themselves and try to work on it. And even if we might not get our exes back in the end we can be proud on that we didn’t give up and were working on ourselves to become a better person for our own future