Christ you are knowledgeable, thank you so much you hit the nail on the head with that lol
I’m watching Jet Li fighting scenes lol, it’s getting my mind off everything.
Thanks again, the more we talk the more I want your relationship to work out. You seem like such a kind person, I’m very glad that you related to my story and decided to post 
Keep me up to date on your relationship please!
Oooups I meant sorry to hear that and not scared to hear that obviously 
Me too and I also really hope your relationship will work out in the end
I just went to skype to check something and saw a lot of nasty messages from my ex that he wrote two weeks ago when I was about to come over. I know he didn’t mean them when he wrote them because he was and is depressed but they just hit me hard. He told me things like “you are a selfish person. you are maniupulative. you are not my friend and i never want to be friends again. you are literally poisoning any pleasure i have of life. my abusive ex-girlfriend is torturing me. you are just a terrible person.”
I know I’m not the monster he is describing and I know his mind created that monster in his depressive moments because I talked to a therapist about it so I can understand it better. But it just hit me really hard and I find it so sad that someone I loved so much and still care so much for could hurt me so much at the same time, too… What if it’s not worth to wait around for? I don’t want to go back to that. I want to go back to a healthier him that isn’t hurting me more to make me even more insecure than I already am. I’m confused now 
I feel the same way sometimes, I can look back on texts I sent her and while she’s not being insulting she is very cold, she responds in 2-3 word sentences.
Sometimes I feel like this is all a waste of time, we’re both 18, if I get her back will it be forever or just another 1-2years. These are all questions I can’t have answered, after seeing how cold she was when I brought up the relationship in our Skype call it made me feel terrible. On top of that, I know her hair doesn’t affect anything but it seems like she’s changing, she’s acting happy, talking to her friends and not contacting me lol. I am happy that she is enjoying life however, it’s hard to know she is doing it without me, I understand she could be missing me when she’s alone in her room at 10:00pm but who knows right…
What I’m trying to say is we all have doubts, if you truly love him and feel the good times outweigh the bad I recommend continuing trying to get back together, it’s hard to figure out belive me I know… just stay strong and continue no contact, remember nothing has changed since when he first sent those messages, you saw them and it made you sad, then later you were doing better you moved on from the messages and we’re happy. Now you saw the messages and you are sad again, go back to that happy place! Focus on yourself you deserve it, from the way you respond and how say things I can say with almost 100% certainty that you aren’t a complete ass
Talk to you later, stay positive!
Thank you so much! It means a lot to me to hear your opinion on it and it’s great that we have this forum to exchange and give each other advices.
and that’s also the thing why I didn’t get his behavior during the break up: it’s not him, it’s not the guy I have been dating the past one and a half years.
I’m trying to ban those thoughts out of my mind for now and think more positive talk soon
It’s 7:26pm just got home from school, feeling positive! My brain is still thinking of her but im not sad, I’m pretty sure if I go back to my positive not needy self I can get her back. If she doesn’t want me after that then… I guess it wasn’t meant to be lol
It’s very good that you were able to think like that in the end Those thoughts are great to give us more energy to stick through our plans. I was really calm yesterday in the end, too also because of your nice message, so thanks! Atm my thoughts (negative and positive) are playing ping pong again in my head but I try and focus on the more rational ones
Good I’m glad you are okay atm! I’m going back to bed now…
I woke up anow hour ago, I’m feeling kinda sad but nothing overwhelming. You know those moments when you don’t know what to say but you wanna say something? That’s me…
I just can’t deal with having her outo of my inner circle ugh… I want to talk to her not necause I date her. I just want to know what’s happening. These are questions I can’t ask or won’t ask but want answered:
Why the hair cut, trying something new?
I saw a post on instagram of you, did you actually do the whole play as Sandy?(FromGrease)
LOVE ME!!(More of a statement)
I have more but saying them is kinda pointless…
Anyways this was my little vent, I feel like I need to do at least one of these a day! ?
Sorry I was out all day.
Yes I know what you mean I think.
To the questions: I know you are curious but look at it this way: In a weeks time you will be able to get in touch with her and maybe even get her to meet up with you sometime soon and then you can ask her anything you want (besides relationship related topics, so the “love me” part is not possible for now :D)
I have those questions in my head every day (the biggest thought is a constant “Why?”) but the thing is once we are back in touch with our ex we cannot even bombard them with those complicated questions… and until then we need to find a way to accept those questions within ourselves and find answers ourselves to all those questions. write them down so you get everything out of your head maybe and if you know some answers you can write them down together with the questions.
You were out all day? Hope you were having fun lol. Doing boring stuff or doing things to get your mind off?
AH naah things I had to do unfortunately, went to my hometown to go to the doctor there because I have stress related stomach pain after eating things (no matter what) lately. I guess it comes together to the break up, uni work and other stuff but I hope it’s not too bad so I’ll just wait for the results now. And I was cooking for a friend and planned a travel after graduation next year, that was nice But all together I wasn’t thinking much of my ex today which is good.
Just there came the thought of “What if he falls in love with someone during NC?” And I know the thought is a needy one and is going back to my old habits of being insecure but no matter how much I try to distract myself now it comes back to me within a few minutes. Do you have those thoughts too? And what do you do when they come up?
And how are you doing in general today? Keeping yourself busy?
Well I think that since me and my gf had a happy relationship for two years she won’t fall in love with someone after 1 - 2 months.
I also know that if she happens to fall in love it’s probably a rebound and if it’s not, I know that there is literally nothing I could have done so it’s not on me
Yeah I know that too from my ex. It’s an irrational thought that I shouldn’t have
No it’s not lol I have that thought all the time. People say they won’t move on that quickly but we always think out partner is the exception.
It’s still hard for me to not focus on my ex, when I’m going about life it’s the same as it was when my ex was in it, because of this I forget we even broke up. When I remember I get sad again, I think of all the things we never had the chance to do… anyways as said before countless times, focus on yourself, treat the situation as hopeless it’ll make it easier to move on plus make you work harder to improve yourself.
About the eating thing, I have the opposite problem I don’t eat anything when I’m sad I needed to actually force myself to ear more at times.
Yeah it’s true. Sometimes you just need to hear that again though and kick yourself in the butt to keep on improving haha
Yeah that eating thing also made me eat less cause I can literally not eat anything besides soup because anything else hurts so much afterwards
Dang, hey a mutual friend between me and her just messages me which isn’t uncommon however she usually tells Maddie what I say. I had a friendly conversation with her, I made it sound like I have pretty much moved on, when she brought up the relationship I diverted or said let’s change the subject lol. I didn’t bash my ex either I made it sound like I have lots of respect for her it just didn’t work out. I also said how I have been improving, none of what I just stated were this obvious when I was talking to her obviously. I replied very well lol I’m proud of myself;)
Hey that’s really great to hear! It’s great how positive you feel now afterwards and I bet it’s also a confirmation of you improving. And it’s also good that she tells your ex so if she’s still a bit mad/angry/cold it could be helpful.
Ugh… my girlfriend has the worst sense of humor for breakups, makes me so anxious lol.
Her instagram bio is “sin sin sin sin sin sin” she had the same sense of humor when we were dating but come on… lol she just makes my mind wander, I read sin, sin, sin and I’m like… what is she doing, how is she sinning? Is she sleeping with randoms!
I know she’s not… well actually I don’t but I’m not really worried about that, I don’t think she would do that lol but who knows she’s changed a lot this month (from my perspective).
Things that changed:
Just need to wait until Tuesday, then my mind will be at ease or disappointed, but I’ll have an answer.
If I contact her I’m obviously not going to send like 10 texts saying date me please! But if I send a text like “Hey I’m still using your netflix hope that’s okay lol, anyways I found this show that I think you would love!” See… doesn’t require a response, if she wants to talk to me and says “really, what show?” That’s a good sign but if she responds with “Oh… can you sign out of my netflix please.” OR doesn’t respond that’s obviously not good lol.
She got her hair cut so I can start contact with:
“We’ll things have slowed down, finally caught up with everything. Hey I saw you got a haircut, how you liking short hair?”.
Here I’m not saying my opinion this makes her wonder what I think, I however don’t like how I am asking a question, I can’t seem to find any other way to word it without stating my opinion on the hair or sounding rude/dumb. Besides that it says how I am more open now, also brings up a new and exciting topic for her.
What do you think about both those texts?
Any advice for anything I wrote or… pweze gimme some constructive criticism
On another note how are you doing Anni
PS. Didn’t realise I wrote so much… Sorry
Sorry, I was out and about again all day long and just read your message.
I can totally relate to your feelings about wondering if your ex has changed and why. But you have to look at it again from a different point of view: We all try and handle to “get over/through” the break up in different/our own ways. We post more on Social Media to show off to our ex that we are happy and having “the time of our life”. We change something about ourselves to make us feel better and get the old weight off our shoulders (new haircut, clothes etc). But the thing is, inside we probably still feel hurt, broken and sad about the break up. And we are still ourselves even if we try to pretend to be a “new” happy self. But those things are all natural mechanisms that we put on like a mask after we get hurt. So we don’t look more hurt to other people and also protect ourselves a bit.
I also don’t think she has a different kind of humor, she’s still the old one and you probably also read too much into it as we all do
To the messages: I think the second one is already better but of course you have the problem with the question and I can understand that you don’t want to “force” her to answer but also wish her to answer. I would write something like “I’d really like to hear how you have been and what you were up to lately whenever you feel like it.”
That way it is an indirect question without the question mark but also leaves it up to her to answer or not, you don’t “force” her.
My day was good, I was busy again and went to the therapist again that I went to see to get to know more about depression because my ex has depression and was really depressed before the break up. Unfortunately she told me that he sounds like he is not able to be in a relationship in general atm and I should be happy with the thought of just being friends with him after NC. Which I of course don’t want to be That made me a bit sad again but over all I was able to think very positive and didn’t get too insecure over things today. He also liked photos I posted the other day today soo I guess he is thinking about me but still hasn’t messaged me.
How have you been up till now?
I think I clicked report on your comment when I was scrolling lol fck