Thanks!
Just know its normal to do what you were doing after a break up but its also best if you take control and not let your impulses be the one at the steering wheel!
John_crane you honestly sound exactly like me! Even the situation! This is very weird cause we’re also very similar. I’m 18 and we dated in college and broke up before etc. I’m the same type of guy who doesn’t drink/drugs/smoke etc and I don’t sleep around. Everything you’ve described is very similar to me! I was very attatched I guess. But learning from past mistakes i got her back twice. We’ve broke up for the 3rd time now. You can read my posts if you want or my latest to see a quick overview.
But I’d just like to say, over analysing will lead you to being insecure and even more attached. It will make you feel shit and bring you down. You need to lift your own spirits. If you love this girl you fight for her but not with your instincts! You need to step back and be outside the box. Once you’ve got your emotions controlled you will see things in a different and positive light which will make you a happier and more attractive person. It will take some time. Just take it slow bro! Just don’t bring up the past relationship if you next end up in contact unless she does. Even then don’t point any fingers for what went wrong, instead try and come off as if you are both agreeing to the “root” of the problem if you know what i mean. This may sound harsh but at the moment your ex won’t show feelinge or empathy. She’ll be cold as ice. You need to understand that underneath that she is just as hurt as you. This is why you need to be strong. Don’t show weakness. You got this. Just read some online articles and talk to us on here. These boards will help alot. I hope i have motivated you to stay calm and relax your thoughts so you don’t over think things. You got this bro. It will take some time but i belive in you. Good luck!
P.s if anyone needs advice or anyone to talk to I’m here. I’m going through a rough patch so ill be more than happy to talk/help you guys and if you want to read my posts you can but you don’t have to. I’m here to help.
OMG… thanks dude that calmed me right down! I’m waiting two weeks as you probably know, however, I am not sure if that is long enough. (For me to gather myself).
But a good advantage is that I’m going to start slow, one or two texts a week, then calls, etc… this will give virtually more time to gather myself and feel better.
Even as I’m writing this “our song” just came on my Playlist and I didn’t notice or care lol I’m making progress 
Like I said before it’s just hard to look At this break like “improving myself woo!” Instead of “Okay, only 13, 12, 11 etc… says until I can text her woo!”
Sorry to hear about you btw, I know how it feels lol hope you are feeling better and it all works out.
Dang! This is one of the more “popular” topics, apart from the ones with like 200 - 800 replies lol
I’m in class right now… im typing this on my laptop 
I don’t even know 100% what i’m writing about, it’s just that I want… reassurance I guess, don’t worry I know that that is something you guys can’t give me. Well that’s not true, you can assure me that “everything is going to be okay”, you can say “you’ll be able to move on and find someone else”. Something you can’t say however is “You’re going to get back with Maddie, you guys will have a happy and healthy relationship!”. It sucks how the one thing I want to happen so badly is the one thing I cant control.
No matter how much I improve myself, how much I try, how good I treat her, what if she just… doesn’t like me? How can I deal with that? Someone basically after all my efforts looking at me and saying “you’re not good enough…” well I suppose it wont matter what she thinks when I move on. I cant help but not want to move on, I feel like it would make everything easier if I did, I would be happier, but if I try to move on and forget about her… it meas its 100% over (I understand that it wont matter if it’s over if I move on, I will no longer care about her and what she says about me). But it’s a matter of getting to that point, the point where I no longer have the desire to… see, touch and love my ex.
I guess what i’m getting at is, how do I move forward without giving myself false hope? How do I feel like i’m both progressing with my life while trying to be apart of my ex’s?
Why does the human brain work like this… even with all of the support from you wonderful people and all of the “it’s going to be okay!”, “you have a good chance!”. I’m still scarred, I wish that I could just KNOW if it’s going to work out…
Well, thanks for reading my rant, i’m kinda all over the place. I should keep a video diary and log all of these chats, then give it to people who want to learn about breakups
hi grayson,
how have you been the past couple of days?
Sometimes I’m happy and sometimes I’m really depressed, you can read my last post to know exactly how I feel.
Any advise you can give? Or something you can say that will make me more confident we will get back together lol:)
PS. How have you been?
Hey, I have found that the pain from the breakup hurts less everyday. I no longer cry randomly or have dips where I stalk her instagram while tearing up. I still have ups and downs I just find the downs easier and the ups more fun. It doesn’t hurt me as bad when I see a pictures of her either.
Today my family got on the topic of the breakup, we were at my aunt’s and… everyone thinks they are a “proffessonal” on the subject. They made it worse saying things like:
“she said she’s not in love with you! You need to move on you, you have no chance.”
Can somone help me? I need advice, my two week NCR ends in like 8days and I am kinda nervous.
Hey John, I just read your story and I’m really sorry.
I’m in a similar position at the moment: I’m okay with not talking to my ex, I’m on day 7 and I keep myself distracted and busy which is working fine but yesterday my ex started liking my tweets and photos I posted on Instagram of me and a friend and stuff. Do you have any advice of not getting obsessed or high hopes over that? What did you do to not stalk your ex’ instagram or FB page every hour? 
Will you contact your ex now after 2 weeks?
Your family only tries to protect and help you. They think it could be best for you to move on, don’t see it as a mean or the best advice they gave you. If you want to try again with your ex and everything is working out, they will be supportive with that decision, too. They want you to be happy and not suffering and I think that’s why they said that
I agree thanks! I am so sorry that you are going through this, I obviously know how it feels. Honestly all I can say is that it gets better with time, that is obviously not what you want to hear but it’s true.
In my case I didn’t/don’t have the strength to delete my ex off social media, to me it also seems kinda childish, especially because we didn’t break up over a major issue. On Halloween after my cousin came over I deleted the instagram app off my phone, I went without it for over a week and it was hard. Since then I have downloaded the app again but I noticed something changed.
I no longer feel… for lack of a better word, like shit when I see her photos. I still miss her and want to be with her but it’s not nearly as painful.
I realised the best chance I have of getting her back and being in a happy, healthy relationship is if I stop obsessing and try to return to my old self.
She was initially attracted to me because I was attractive (still am ) kind, funny, and I shared the same values as her. I now realized that I was far to dependant on her, my happiness relied on her, she was my everything. That is a bad attitude to have… I have been working on it an I feel better, it still does hurt it’s just that it hurts so much less.
Stay positive and focus on yourself, do stuff with your friends!
And honestly you can talk to me whenever I find talking on this website very ummm... therapeutic. We can help each other :)Oh and sorry if I rambled or stuff doesn’t make sense, it’s 6:00am and I need more sleep so good night, message me if you have questions or just… want to talk to someone
Oh and yes, I will try to contact my ex sometime next week. It’s a good time considering it’ll be after the one month mark, this is usually the time where they move to the missing you stage, this however varies between people so it’s all yet to be seen. Anyways I would just continue no contact, she may be thinking of you and that’s why she liked your posts or she may just be looking them because she sees them. Anyways gtg to school gl
Thanks for your answer It really helps to exchange your stories with people who can relate to it and can give advices!
Yeah I think my ex thought about me or missed me himself because he doesn’t have instagram on his phone and doesn’t use it himself so he needs to go through the desktop version to look at my pictures. If he continues doing these things I don’t know if I might tell him to stop because I don’t want any contact at all at the moment to think straight and concentrate on myself because I was fine until he wrote me a message last Friday (which was okay because I ignored it) and liked my pics and stuff which confuses me a lot and makes me go back to the obsessive behaviour I don’t wanna go back to. Like I don’t get sad or anything when I look at his page or see posts but it bothers me a bit that he likes my things, even though it could be a good sign, who knows! It just gives me a weird feeling…
A social media break might be a good idea for me, too, thanks! I also don’t want to delete him on Facebook and so on because I also think it’s immature but in the end everyone knows what’s best for him-/herself.
It’s funny, it was similar to me. He started initiating dates and texted me for almost a year before I finally said yes to meeting up, I was very independent before I got together with him but then I moved back to my country and somehow the long distance made me obsess about things more and I became more needy because I was also way more insecure that he could meet someone else when he only sees me every 2 months and so on 
I was never so secure about myself but I think I got to my lowest points during the relationship and just started to gain back my security slowly since the summer. But I guess that was a bit too late…
Did your ex start to contact you during no contact?
I hope you will be successful by contacting her again! DO you already know how you will do it (letter, text etc)?
How did you get less “needy” yourself? Did you read many articles that helped you or did sports ect?
Thanks so much and have a nice day!
First, let him look at your profile and like your pictures, it’s harmless behavior and it means he cares enough to see what you are doing.
No my girlfriend didn’t contact me during the NCP, I believe that’s because I was a super needy boyfriend, I got dependant on her and called and texted everyday, I wanted to talk for at least and hour a day. That was bad because she has school and other responsibilities, we are both also 18, she’s probably at the point in her life when she wants to have new and exiting experiences. I imagine she doesn’t want to be tied down, she wants the opportunity to do different things however, I’m not giving up
A big problem was me being clingy/needy so to stop that I read many articles and spoke with many people. I realised that almost nobody wants a clingy partner, for me it’s about how much I care about the person. If me being clingy is going to ruin the relationship then… I need to stop being clingy. Knowing how much I care about her and how much I want to be with her helped me get over my neediness if that makes sense…
Hope this helped and if you have any advice or support for me that would be great!
Thank you, it really did help! It could be that she is at that point of her life and it makes it a bit harder for you to get her back I guess but you should nevertheless try and I really hope she will figure out that she still wants you in her life!
One thought that really puts me down everytime is things like “What if my ex moves on within those 30 days? What if he doesn’t want me back? What if I don’t change enough in that time so he won’t be attracted to me again?”. Like he wanted his space as well to get better and concentrate on himself, that’s why he broke up and I regret a lot that I didn’t see the signs earlier because I would have worked so much on myself to give him more space.
So are you on week 2 of NC or is your month already over?
It’s funny because I also thought if I was given more time/warning I would have worked harder.
I tried 30days I failed at 21 after I didn’t get a happy birthday. We spoke in Skype for about an hour, she was happy and friendly with me, she got cold whenever I brought up the relationship, for example I asked why and she said “because imy not in love with you” lol kinda cold right? Anyways I was like there’s a reason tho… then she admitted to my neediness, since then I have learned to be less needy, I just want another chance so we both can work hard to have a happy relationship. Anyways I sent a couple texts and she would reply in short messages. The next day I sent a text about a party I was invited to, she looked at it but never replied, the next day she went back into the messages looked at my message and replied. That made me think she was thinking about me so… I waited a couple days then texted saying I’m going to be busy for the next two weeks so essentially don’t contact me lol
I did this to give each of us more space/time to miss each other. I’m going to text her after I’m done catching up with school and packing so probably 6 - 8 days
Well but 21 days are really good already and I can totally understand that you got upset if you didn’t get a happy birthday from her! I would be so upset!
It’s good that you said that you will be busy so you had more control over the situation. I really hope she appreciates it and still sees some hope in you both together in the end!
Lol thanks, I hope everything works out with you!
Hey btw was it a long distance relationship? If so how often would you guys see each other, talk on the phone, Skype etc…
I’m moving slightly further from her in a month but I will also be getting my license by then so… I’ll be able to drive over if we start dating again. I’m still so worried lol, I want it to work out so much.
Ugh… the things my family said are getting to me, they said how I need to forget about her because she said “I’m not in love with you”. I understand that I need to focus on myself but… does what she said mean it’s truly over and I shouldn’t even try?
I dont know it just seems like in most breakups the dumper would say that, they obviously feel that way, if they didn’t they wouldn’t leave a happy/healthy relationship. Plus she could be confused, she is only 18 and shes probably stressed out with things like, college, driving school, etc.
I’m willing to try my absolute hardest to be with her, not just with her… I want a happy and healthy relationship, I don’t want what we had to end. It honestly scares me so much, a problem we had was my neediness, if I love that problem and reestablish contact will I be able to get her back? Ugh… so confusing.