After 2 and half years, my girlfriend(22 years old, loves to go to the bar and get drunk) broke up with me(24 years old, done with getting drunk alot at bars, has a comfy job, sits in with friends and plays video games and watches movies). I have been nothing but good to her throughout. We went out the day before she broke up with me(friday) with all my friends, having a great time together at a bar. (I even told her i wanted to come out with her friends tmrw(saturday) and hang out cause she was coming with me that night. She said “okay cool”)soo at the bar that night(friday), the whole time she was trying to kiss me the whole time, falling asleep in my lap, hugging and grabbing me. All the usual stuff with her. Next morning, she txts me first thing “Good Morning”, same old txt msgs throughout the day, just like usual and she goes to work. Around when she leaves work, out of left park she tells me “We need to talk”. She came over and i sat in her car. She told that this isnt working anymore. She isnt happy, that we are not having fun with each other anymore, that she fell out of love with me. Told me that during the past week, she tried to be happy with me but she wasn’t. That it was unfair that i was excited to see her but she wasnt excited to see me. She went on telling me that she has never not had a man in her life taking care of her and that she wants to be alone (dad passed away too). She has only been with 2 guys ever, one being me. We talked for about an hour after that. She swore of her fathers grave that there isnt another man. Then I said some stuff that i didnt mean cause i was blindsided. Literally NO signs of this.
It really hurts cause i would of never thought this would ever happen. Her and i were always good together, Yes we fought, but never for much time. Most an hour tops and it was never about major topics. I would see her 6 days out of the week. We did everything together. Stay at my place 3 times a week, casual fooling around(we had sex friday before we went out that night before the breakup), we went out for Valentines day, gave each other gifts, i sent flowers to her work. During chirstmas time, she even signed a 2 year phone plan with me(why sign a 2 year contract with me if you were planning to break up with me), so something must of happen within 2 months time between us. I did blow her off alot when she went to bars with her friends cause i hated her drinking all the time( i did go out with her all the time when we first started goin out). She almost always got drunk. I would of course take care of her, picking her up and stuff; bringing her back to my place. She would always tell me that her friends were asking for me. I realize now that i could of made an effort to go out with her more. She was always doin what i liked to do but i wasnt doing the one thing she liked to do. She probally felt neglected. That was really the only problem we had tho. We have so many great memories together. She gave me the best birthday present ever back in June. I gave her an amazing annervisary gift that even her mother even got emotional about in October. We always made each other happy, Everything was fine Kevin. I really dont get it. Im so scared that im gonna lose the best thing that ever happen to me. Please give me some guideance. I dont want to lose her forever. Thank you.
Give her space and in time she will come to her own conclusions.
Did you do anything apart from sitting around playing Video games? Not very exciting and she is still very Young, as are you.
That’s probably the Problem but I can’t be sure.
Go away from her and Change yourself a bit. There are loads of great things that one can do outside of the house too.
She sounds confused. Give her space. She will come back. But do not annoy her and beg etc
@patrick d Yea i used to play sports and stuff too. I was a manager at Gamestop when we first started dating lol so she knew what i was beforehand. Now i have a comfy city job and its very demanding with time. 5:30am to 5:00pm everyday/weekends off tho. She is a hairdresser currently so her hours are almost oppsite of mine. (usually works from 12am to 10pm) We saw each other almost everyday but prob only 10+ hours a week cause of our schedules. She did txt me 2 days ago basically saying “Im not ignoring you for any reason, im just not ready to talk. You have done nothing wrong so please stop thinking that, i dont want u to think that. I will gladly reach out to you, i just cant right now” I responded “alright I understand”. I really think we became to rotational for such a young couple. Very routine. I could see how it got boreing
@RustyRed Most of my friends say the same thing as you do. Give her the space she needs and she will come back. I just hope they are right =/
Question tho…She said “she would gladly reach out to me, she just cant right now”. How do i go about that? Do I do NC or do i answer her when she is ready? Kinda lost on that. What do you think this means as well?
Well that’s the hard one, the way I’m playing it. Is I’m doing no contact but if she contacts me then I’ll be pleasant. But she hasn’t in 6 days But if she does I will keep it short but friendly. But I know some ppl are doing no contact even if they try and contact them. That’s up too u how u play it.
Hmmmm well i know her. When she does contact me, she will most likely want to meet up and talk…or even go out to dinner and talk things over. We really never had trouble as a couple. We told each other that we loved each other the second day we went out and soon after we were a couple. We moved VERY fast and it always clicked for us. Thats why this whole thing has me completely blindsided. If she gives me the chance to prove that i know what happen with our realtionship, she will she where im coming from. I dont think that we failed as a couple, i just think we got too comfortable for our age and we lost our spark.
Another thing is that March 2nd she went to my house while i was working to give my mom the money for the phone bill one last time and to give my sister her 21st birthday present. My parents happen to tell me that she stuck around for like 45 mins talking to them. Long story short, dad talked to her about how we had great times together and should really talk this out and my mom told her that she really hopes that me and her work out cause she really liked her. My girlfriend started crying and then my mom started crying and they gave each other a big hug. Then she left. Thats when she contacted me for the first time since the break.
jared let me know how this works out because i have a very similar situation. Me and my girlfriend dated for 6 months. She said she had loved me but that i wasn’t very romantic to her and she couldn’t tell if i was joking or not sometimes. I was very good to her and told her i could work on those things. Like yourself i had no warning. We had sex the night before, and the day of 3 hours before we broke up she texted me saying have a great shift at work and shell see me tonight with 3 kissy faces. She never indicated any problems and the breakup was completely out of left field. i know there is no other guy just like you know. her friends assured me of this and she is a very loyal caring girl. My no contact only started a week and a half ago because i did some begging and bad things. She is only 19 and I’m 21 but she seems to have this fairytale ending stuff in her head that kinda doesn’t exist. however on our breakup she said shed always care about me and that she did love me. I think theres hope for us… 3 and a half weeks later i still miss her a lot. But the breakup was completely out of nowhere.
I will if anything changes. We broke NC 2 days ago so i got 28 days left but if she wants to get together to talk, i will probally tell her yes. I think she really just needs space and time. We shall see what happens tho. Wish me luck!
Yea still no contact. We broke up the feb 21st but she contacted me on march 2nd about not ignoring me and that she would contact me, but she isnt ready to talk yet. I dont know what to do. i think i will wait for her to contact me first but when it gets close to a month broken up, i will contact her saying “ok so you had a month to think, i need answers now so we can resolve this or move on”
Im on day 8 of NC. It’s hard man but keep strong. All you could do for now till she messages you Or you complete your NC. Meanwhile try to gdt yourself up
This is what I think. If my ex was to knock at my door right now what is she going to see? A guy crying his eyes off or some new confident attractive Man? I think she’d take the confident man all day. Its hard but we gotta get ourselves up and don’t let them see us down.
I completely agree^^ If and when we talk thats all im gonna be. Confident, stern and mature. I will make sure to her that i am willing to go the additonal mile to try and make this work between us. If she doesnt want to hear it, then i will probally give her my peace of mind. Tell her that she is gonna look down the road from this and its gonna be too late. Then i will most likely leave or slam the door in her face. I WAS the guy who did everything for her, made her feel great. I was the only steady thing in her life. She wants to throw all that away, fine by me. SHE will be the one who loses, not me. I love her to death and there will always be stuff between us. She wants to tell me to my face, my parents face and then in a txt to me to REMIND me that “its nothing you did” then whats the problem?!? You want me or not? These are the things i would ask to her AFTER i explain that im willing to do whatever to make this work for us cause i love her; and i mean there is alot of stuff im gonna explain to her that should win her back…hopefully. but… I have to get my balls out of her pocket. I have to switch the power into my court and if our convo ends bad, she will know that she just lost all the power with this break up and she will come crawling back eventually. I Just hope she doesnt wait to long…
But if she does I will keep it short but friendly. But I know some ppl are doing no contact even if they try and contact them. That’s up too u how u play it.
good luck on yours man!