Ironblood: first off, please do not lie to her and play games. Like you were saying “did you get my message” even if you never sent one. And you made excuses to phone her even though she said not to call her. Yes, I know, she answered, but like you said, she didn’t not seem as enthusiastic… Because she is not. And guess what, it is not going to change any time soon if you both don’t stop playing these mind games with one another.
You got mad at her for playing games, but you are doing the same thing to her.
Now I see why me and ex have not spoken in 8 weeks. I don’t think I will be able to handle the back and forth and blind hope that I will make myself believe in.
Ironblood: you are my like my son here. I don’t want to scold you, but I may just have to come to that soon. Don’t make me do that.
To me, it is ok to text as long as your intentions are to stay casual. But you keep wanting more from her what she is not willing to give to you. To me, if you want to text back, just reply as a form of support. If she texts fine, if she doesn’t, then let it go. What is it about “casual and civil” that you can’t understand?
LOL i do need scolding. I’m stupid. You are right. I over reacted and wanted more. After she sent me that last text above. I just replied
“No it’s ok I do understand. You’re probably getting ready for bed so I’ll say goodnight. Have a good day at work. I’ll text you when I’m home if that’s ok with you.”
So I showed understanding. I was considerate and asked her permission if i could text her so she didn’t feel uncomfortable.
You are right though and this is why i come to this board. When my brain is running slow or not working you guys fix me lol. I need to go at a slower pace than i expected. I think there is some hope as she is replying and constantly saying she misses me. I guess I’ll take it slow and casual for now. Thank you for not scolding me.
I do realise i need to stop lying and playing these games. I’m as bad as her if i do so. I didn’t show that i was mad by the way. I kept is casual throughout like it wasn’t affecting me. Only you guys knew i was breaking down.
Lol i find it funny how she thinks I’m chill about it but here im fully breaking down hahaha. Thanks everyone.
ironblood
I am sorry but lol, this makes me shake my head. You are a flood of words, which I understand because you can’t control your emotions at all right now.
Quit saying you will do this and that, just do it ok? It’s pretty pointless to turn to us desperately asking for advises when you instead don’t listen and end up doing as you like anyway.
I mean dude, it’s your life, of course you make your choices, but I believe it’s in your best interest to do things the right way if you wanna solve this situation.
I get that fishingthesky. I contradict my self alot. Too much. Lol.
I completely understand i can be frustrating but i do follow everyones advice here. I guess i let my self go when i did the call thing earlier. But belive me i do respect and follow all of your advice although it’s not a 100% of the time. I’d say around 85% of the time i follow it lol. But belive me it means so much to me that strangers from all over the world have come here to help me on thisboard. It’s truly amazing. Thank you again! I can happily call you all my friends if not family.
Anyway i want to keep this short cause it’s exhausting me and I’m tired. She replied saying “ok goodnight. Thank you have a good day at uni. Yeah that’s fine.”
So i guess she still wants to talk but she just misses me and shes finding it hard?? LOL confusing but ill take it slow as you guys said. I hope you are all enjoying the entertainment and frustration i bring…Lol. thank you all so much again. And be feel free to post any problems you have as I’d really love to repay you as much as possible. We are all here for each other. Shedding a damn tear lol… (joking) good night everyone !
P.s if you guys ever feel emotional upset… whatever is on your mind. Just post it here. I don’t mind at all. Even if you are mad about a video game, work, your car? Traffic? Anxiety? A zit? Stupid thoughts? Anything no matter how ridiculous or crazy it is. Just post it here. I don’t just want all of your help. I feel selfish, I want to try and help you and of course each other. Thank you for the billionth time.
Fish: LOL! I said on one of the messages that “I need a drink!” Haha! We were 18 once I know how it is. I believe that he is all calm in person, then unleashes here on the board. And this is the right route he has taken. I can guarantee you all of us put our game face on in real life, and we come here crying. At least that is what I do.
I’m looking back now at all the stuff we have been through in the recent weeks/ months. We were all brought here by fate. Clearly one of us needs more of our guidance than the other. If it is any consloation to all of us, I hope we are serving our purpose to what the universe intended us to do.
Lol MrsWB, you are right, but when I was 18 the use of mobile phone was very limited and all these social networks, instant messaging weren’t invented yet so I wonder how I would have acted back then with this technology lol.
I am glad to help if I can give others some comforts or guidance, it’s therapeutic at the same time for myself.
I do not wanna complain or vent about the things I don’t like or want anymore because it only attracts negativity to me, I prefer to remark what I love and what I am grateful for.
Fishing: haha! Yes. And I’m older than you. Back in my day, we had chat rooms! Lol!! Would you believe I had found life long friends there?
and why does it seem like everyone has a bday coming soon?! Mine is next Wednesday. Oh, and happy late bday to you! I really, really need to get over my ex. It just hurt my ego that I feel rejected and not good enough for him even though I know I am worth it. I am just hoping that all of us here would eventually find out happy forever after.
Oh yeah chat rooms, been there too long time ago, I still know a couple of people from there as well!
Thanks for the birthday wishes and I will remember to give them back to you next week.
Well MrsWB my ex is not that much older than ironblood too and I was her first REAL love, I know that she will remember me anyway. I am really sorry that you are going through this, you seem to be a good and caring person and you don’t deserve all that.
Fishing:thank you so much. And you truly are her first real love, or else you would have not lasted this long, really. Only time will tell. I don’t know. Honestly I do not know how it feels like to break up with someone since I was always the dumpee. I know, kind of pathetic.
My bf got a bit jealous one time. I met this super famous actor earlier this year and he asked me if super famous actor asked for my #, and I asked him: “why the heck would he do that?!” And he goes “you’re beautiful he’s just a man like me. What’s the difference? He would be lucky to have you.” And I’m like, I can’t believe he is saying this to me.
So yeah! Maybe I am meant to be with a super famous whoever since he put that out in the universe for me.
I was the dumper only once out of despair, because my first ex was suffocating me with her obsessive behaviors and I had to ended it. Don’t denigrate yourself, you had your reasons not to decide to quit, you seem to have a lot of faith inside you. By the way, being the dumper is honestly as much as hurtful as being the dumpee.
Your ex’s compliment was nice, but that sorta revealed all his insecurity at the same time.
He probably doesn’t feel he deserves you for some reason, do you have any idea where this complex might come from?
I know where my insecurities come from, I was a very confident man years ago but my previous bad relationship really made my self esteem plummet down. I am rebuilding it back again.
My ex is not the jealous type, well sometimes she was a little bit but that’s normal. She said she always liked to show me off around because I am handsome and she would just grin at the girls who would look at me. She’s such a gorgeous girl, I ain’t a jealous man either, wherever she goes she does catch attention with her personality and her beautiful smile.
Fishing: Yes, I wrote it all on my thread. He got demoted early this year for such a stupid reason and that brought him even down. I remember, he got demoted the same day I got promoted. He was very proud of me too.
Where we work at has really high standards. We can’t use certain words, dress any way we want etc… Etc… it’s ok. I like the discipline.
I felt bad for him and tried so hard to lift his morale, but each time I saw him, he got more and more frustrated and bitter about his situation. We almost did not date because of the same exact reasons why he broke up with me. He tried but I guess it was a combination of him not being confident and that he just was not that into me.
Yes I am but I live in US, and I am sorry I just read all your thread now.
It does sound like that demotion really affected his ego, I understand how humiliating can be not to be able to provide fully for you, but honestly this is an obsolete concept now because there are so many girlfriends/wives that are the ones who earns the most in the couple. One of my ex had a better salary than mine and I never felt inferior or inadequate compared to her, I even was proud! It’s not really that relevant as long as you treat your partner well and offer all the support and love you can.
I am not convinced that’s the only reason why he left you. When your partner suddenly stops writing or giving you attention, chances are he or she is seeing someone else, maybe I am just telling from experience.
Of course I am only speculating and I am probably wrong, I didn’t mean to make it harder I am sorry. I think he does miss you, he seemed to be a decent person and not careless. There are greater forces against inside of him that stop him from reaching out now, whatever they are but the right time might come soon. Be positive still!
It would suck if that was the case because he was single for 8 years prior to getting with me. But then, he is single now so all bets are off. So, it definitely is a possibility because you just don’t drop off the face of the earth! His friends assured me though that there was never any other girl. And that he was always talking about me. That is why they were shocked when they found out he broke up with me. But it has been 8 weeks. And i don’t know what he’s been up to.
I have shown his letter to me to a very few people and most of them say he was very insecure, some say there’s more to it. Ah! Why do i torture myself like this! Here is the thing though, i was hoping my other ex would come around, i wasted 3-1/2 years for nothing. I do not want to go that route again.
Hey guys! I just want to let everyone know that my entries will be limited for awhile. I kind came to an all time low and really need to focus on myself for awhile. I will come back from time to time to see how everyone is holding up! I wish you all well and it is a blessing meeting all of you. Take care, everyone.
and him not being in contact in 8 weeks means he does not miss me. I don’t want to think that though.