Fishingthesky, you may be right, we are young and haven’t experienced break ups before (ironblood has with the same ex) but for me this is my FIRST. It is a dam horrible feeling and how I feel today is I never ever want to get into another relationship ever cause this heart breaking pain is too much to handle. I would rather shoot my hand with a nail gun (which I have done before lol by accident) than deal with this type of pain. But yes I do still have hope as I don’t want to give up, just like yourself. Maybe it’s young love eh? (Can you guess where I am from with that word lol).
Your words really help me tho fishingthesky, as you are still young and wise as I appreciate MrsWB input so much as she is just like my mom and she is really keeping my head up. I will try to think like how you see things, that how grateful I was to experience everything with her. Maybe it’s a life lesson for the future. But my memories and love for her will never be forgotten. I kinda wish we had a bad break up so it could be so simple to move on. I feel like I am back to when I first got broken up cause I’m going wacko again. But time will heal me. I am just not dealing well with her seeing someone but this will help me move on faster.
Pingpong: I will guess Australia or Canada. This is such torture, huh? I am off today as I had to switch days off with a co-worker. We run a huge 24/7 business. I know I need to get my ass off bed and run errands. During this time, my ex drives home after the gym and texts me as soon as he gets home. I am missing him terribly and crying while I type this. I am losing all hope as it has been 8 weeks. Plus, he did say he did not want to see my anymore which hurts so bad because i never saw any signs of him not wanting to be with me and that I was the only thing that makes his time at work worth it.
I just have to take it what it is…that he had a switch that went off.
Ding! Good ol Canada. Will begin hiking the mountains to take some time off my mind. It is strange how we memorize our ex’s routines and schedule. As for my ex she will be starting school soon so won’t have a clue… Hang in the MrsWB. Just let it out as you’ll feel much better. You will always be love by your friends and family. I know how you feel tho unfortunately I had tiny hints of the break up coming but must’ve been devastating for you. But keep you head up! Tomorrow is a new day.
So this morning I replied to her message and she said “Thank you have a good day at uni” . So I’ve just got in and have replied “Just got in uni was good, how’s your day been?”… is this too generic? Should I be more interesting or is keeping it casual still suitable at the moment? I know she’s home and has received the message and she still hasn’t replied 20 mins later… I’m not overthinking but I just don’t want my bubble to be popped and for her to go into “not interested at all” mode.
Ok as I’m typing this she replies… jheeze maybe I am over thinking. She replied “Good what did you do and yeah work was good thank you”. I don’t want the conversations to be generic and boring. But I then again don’t know how to keep them interesting considering we broke up less than 3 weeks ago… LOL
I’m not sure what to even talk about at the moment. By the way, this morning… or last night? Some time ago within 12 hours lol I saw my ex liking Instagram pictures of Amsterdam… I think that’s weird since we talked about it again on the phone? I don’t know if im looking into it too much again… but hey! I’m an overthinker I guess. I have to admit I really really do miss everything about her. But I am so so scared this is just a shamble to keep her self happy while she has no one to talk to.
Pingpong: That’s a great idea for the coffee meet up. I’ve used that for past breakup between us and it has always worked. But not sure if it’s too early or not? I will see how our communication develops and possibly ask her for this Saturday maybe.
I also do agree it is too early to add her on Facebook. I think the wound is still healing. I forgot to mention, last night on the phone I also brought up as a joke “so I see you blocked me on twitter and Instagram” ( I knew she didn’t block me on Instagram but just wanted to act as if she did ) and she immediately said “I didn’t delete you on Instagram and snapchat I’ve kept you and you deleted me on facebook” so I replied “ sooo?” in a sarcastic voice and she giggled.
MrsWB: Judging from what you have wrote I agree with the “lot” of people that have said you were the strongest person they have met. I mean read back your story and try to tell me you are not. You are! I’m curious, I forgot exactly what you said to your last week but I’m pretty sure you yourself even said you didn’t try enough when you reached out? Not sure if you said that word for word but I’m pretty sure I read something like that. I do believe he has strong feelings towards you even though it may seem like he doesn’t. It’s quite obvious. Some one doesn’t just drop off the face of the earth and suddenly put a “I don’t like you” switch on. He obviously has feelings. He may not realise how deep but I am certain he does. To be honest not a lot of people find the perfect person and they do eventually go through a lot of relationships trying to find that person. But I don’t think it is entirely on you MrsWB. I don’t think you are crazy at all! You are not the only one! I DON’T THINK YOU HAVE SERIOUS FLAWS. I think from what I am reading your only “weakness” not flaw, is like you said you panic that it is not going to work out. Maybe that was from your divorce that you adapted this feeling that all the relationships you get into are doomed but I don’t think that is the case. I think you need to work on not feeling like you are never going to be wanted. Don’t dwell on the bad things. It’s stupid to say but focus on the positive’s happening around you. When you are in a new relationship for example don’t just think it’s going to end soon when it has literally only just begun. I hope you understand what I’m saying … lol. What I mean is, if you focus on negative things that havn’t even happened again like your habbit of thinking every relationship is not going to last, you may not realise it but it will reflect on your personality and your partner will know something is up. This could potentially push them away. I’m not saying this is the case but it could easily happen. It is insulting that our ex’s only think about their own feelings but it’s the hard truth. My ex showed no mercy and was complete cold towards me. she didn’t even want to give me a taxi number so I could get home. The point is, our ex’s are cold heartless SOB’s when they are tying to protect their own feelings. It’s a defence mechanism. Now I wouldn’t suggest you contact him this week but maybe just wait a week or week and couple days and try and contact him again if he hasn’t done so already. But this time don’t keep it too casual. Try and give a positive, fresh new vibe from the message you send him. Lol easier said than done but just research. I can’t give you exactly what to say cause I’ve never experienced getting a boy ex back lol. Remember you still have hope. And I see that. Don’t let it get you down until you know for certain it will never work out. At the moment keep you self as happy and positive as humanely possible.
p.s sorry for this huge text wall. Hope everyones doing good.
Also MrsWB I’m pretty sure Patricia12 is in a similar situation to you. She helped me with my 2 other breakups with my ex and I owe most of it to her. She is a very nice lady and your situation and age does seem very similar. Not trying to make you not avoid helping you or anything but from my perspective patricia12 would be the perfect person to help you and you would be the perfect person to help her! You both are very similar. Both very kind and strong.
Ironblood: thank you so much for your kind words! I’m driving to run errands now, I will reply in a bit. Ok. You are doing good so far. But don’t make any jokes like “so, you blocked me” even though you know she did not. That’s playing games and putting words in her mouth. This is when the fight starts all over again. Like I mentioned, keep it casual. You do not need to find ways to keep conversations interesting. The fact that you are already in contact is such a HUGE development. Be thankful for that. I wish me and Pingpong had that. We don’t even get a simple “hello.” A simple “have a nice day” is a lot of progress. Keep that in mind.
I will sure to take that advice but I have some bad news. I think it was what I suspected. So this is how the conversation went.
Me:“Just got in uni was good, how’s your day been?”
Ex: “Good what did you do and yeah work was good thank you”
Me: “I had a tour of the whole uni campus and it’s actually really nice. Just having dinner shall i call you after?”
Ex: “Good I’m glad, Urm I’d rather we talk on this tbh don’t want to be horrible it’s just cause I got upset after our phone call and hearing your voice makes it hard sorry I don’t want to be horrible but can we just talk on watsapp”
It seems it’s just like i suspected. if she did really miss me and care she’d want to talk to me over the phone. it just shows she just wanted to speak to me to relive the pain of loneliness. i almost feel used. I’m pathetic. I don’t think i should have even replied to her “I miss you”. I should have ignored it. I feel so stupid. My bubble has burst. I FEEL LIKE AN IDIOT.
So I just replied “Yeah I know what you mean it’s just my messages were slow”
and she replied “Ok thank you for understanding. I’m receiving them”. What do I even do from here. I don’t even want to talk to her at the moment. I’m sick of these games. I just want her back. Am I doing the right thing?
Ironblood: if she said it was hard for her to talk on the phone, it is hard to talk to her on the phone. She missed your voice. And for her the best way to talk is thru watsapp. Because since you are already broken up, it’s hard for her too. And this is why we go back to the NC rule. There was no time for growing or healing, but at the same time, I was hoping that her reaching out to you first, she was ok just being casual. You both still harbour strong feelings for each other. Since she still wants to stay in touch, watsapp is the best option for her at this point. She is not playing you. What for? Who else is she missing? I do feel her feelings are so conflicted though. Again, keep it casual. But it’s proving so difficult for you now becuase you just want to be back in the relatiionship. you know what you want, but I am not sure about her.
Should I just go back to Nc then? But this time delete her on every social media so she knows I’m serious? Or what? I don’t know what to do anymore. One minute she wants nothing to do with me at all ever. The next she is missing me opening up about her grandfather. Then saying she misses me after the phone call. Now she doesn’t want to talk on the phone. She wants to whatsapp. I just feel like her personal safety blanket. I’m sick of this. It’s like when she is lonley she comes to me. Fuck that fuck her. I fucking hate her at times and i hate the fact i still love her and stil constantly swallow my pride for her.
If she contacts you and says hi, say hi back. If she asks a questions, answer back. If she says “i miss you” you can can say it back too becuase it is the truth, but you just got to leave it as casual as much as you can.
I for one, always answer text messages when someone texts me. The only time I will ignore a person is when they treated me horribly.
Ironblood, she is so confused now and it seems like you are the bigger person than her at this point. I don’t think coffee is a good idea as she doesn’t want to talk to you on the phone, much more see each other in person.
Keep it casual until it’s time to talk about where you both really want to be in this relatiosnhip. But now is not that time.
I’m so sorry. I just want to go over there and give you a hug!
Hey guys, please help me out. If Ironblood has finally had it and cuts everything completely, I bet you she will come crying and whining back to him! It starts conflicting him as well! And if he does not respond to her, he will feel guilty and start beating himself up.
ironblood keeps caving in and to me he does not seem to be keeping his word on the NC period, that’s the problem. Her mood is swinging like mad right because she is utterly confused, emotionally and rationally so someone here between the two needs to take control of the situation.
The guy needs to STAY away, he cannot blame himself for trying to sort things out for both of them! If he doesn’t understand this then this yo-yo will go on for days.
The pain was almost easing off abit this week and now it’s currently worse than ever. I haven’t replied and she hasn’t bothered to message me again. I just don’t know what to do.
Ironblood: so sorry that you are going through this again. And fishingthesky said it the best that I failed to mention: it seems as if you are the bigger person between you two. I think it is you you have to make that final decision to just let go an do NC once and for all. My advice about you still keeping contact on watsapp is still an option for me, but now after reading how this is all making you feel, maybe it really is best to end it for now. Healthy relationships will never be perfect, but at the same time, they are not supposed to make us miserable too. I speak for all of us here. we are trying our best to help each other, but we are all here for a reason. We are here to learn from each other. And we’ll still be here to help each other out.
Thank you again so much but I’m not sure if I made a stupid decision or not. So i ignored her message for abit and messaged her an hour later saying “are you getting my messages” knowing i didn’t send anything. so she replies instantly saying “just got this one” and sends a screen shot of the chat. I reply saying “my whatsapp playing up” she replies “what did you say” so i phoned her after about 5 mins and when she answered she said “hello you okay” and i imeediatly said “hello, sorry i know you didn’t want to phone but i thought my phone connection was off cause my messages were not sending so i phoned to check, i didn’t realise you would answer” and she replied saying “it’s ok” so i try to have a conversation with her and she doesn’t seem as interested as yesterday. like she wouldn’t ask me any questions. i asked them all almost. although she asked me if i had checked my cough out yet after i said im still coughing. i also asked about her brothers experience at the uni (we went to same uni) and she was telling me to make sure i take the extra course seriously cause it will effect me. so i ask her after 2 mins if i should let her go cause i feel like she feels uncomfortable. she says i dont mind. so i stay and say why were you upset yesterday as a joke i said its not as if we had a depressing phone call was it? and she kind of avoided it and i asked her about work she said it was good today. then eventually we ended it. not sure what to think of this. i’m confused. the phone call lasted around 6-7 min compared to yesterdays 58 mins. what do i do?
I also made up that a foreign student had the same surname as the nickname she called me “moo” and that this one girl said it to call her friend out in a aggressive manor and it made me laugh and reminded me of you. she giggled and was like what the fuck.
like i don’t know. she seems distant again on the phone but she replies straight away on text? i don’t get it. Am i just over thinking things? or does she not want to talk anymore or what? she didn’t say she didn’t want to stop talking she just said she didn’t want to call cause it upset her. have a made a mistake? should i just play it cool? do i go nc till she replies? have i messed up!? all these thoughts. i miss her even more now. i mean why would she answer if she didn;t want to talk? why would she reply straight away if she didn’t? its like she wants to but doesn’t at the same time. so confusing . i need to take control as you rightly said. i just need some guidance and advice.
WHAT IS GOING ON!!! AS I TYPE ALL OF THIS SHE MESSAGES ME SAYING
“I’m sorry If I sound offish on the phone it’s just I really miss you and I’m just finding it hard ATM”
Incase you don’t know what atm stands for = At The Moment.
I need my brain fixed at this point. This girl confuses me.
¿¿¿SHE’S FINDING IT HARD > SHE MISSES ME???
Sorry If I wild out at times. I use this to vent as you can see in order to not do something really stupid with her. LOL you guys must be hitting your self in frustration with me. I know. It’s a confusing situation. I don’t even get it either.
DO I EVEN REPLY TO THAT LIKE WHAT THE !(*"£"7 … WHAT DO I EVEN REPLY TO THAT!!? hahaha. I’m so upset/confused I’m literally laughing at my self. Not in a crazy way but in a WHAT THE FFF IS WRONG WITH THIS FEMALE I AM IN LOVE WITH KIND OF WAY. sorry. thanks.
