Bonds, connections, and other points of interest

not-your-ex
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@relic Thanks for the info! I’ve been perusing those forums and found a lot of it very insightful. I have not read/seen The Secret, but it looks very interesting:D

@patrick d Nothing too major to report. I got paid today which is nice as I only get paid once a month. I had an epiphany today and took in the fact that I am more than financially stable for my age, have no debt, and am doing really well on my own. I say this only because I have never fully lived on my own before, but it’s empowering!

I had a great weekend that was full of fun. I did meditate for a bit last night. I made an attempt to reach out to my ex and her new girl to send them a message, hopefully while they were asleep. I did it from a place of love and the messages were something like this:

“<ex> it’s <ThePhoenix>. Please be happy. I forgive you for the past. Everything is in the past now. You are my best friend and I love you very much. I’m moving on and not looking back now. Please find happiness, just as I have for myself.”

“<new girl> it’s <ThePhoenix>. Please take good care of <ex>. She needs a light touch in her life and I hope you can live up to it. She has so much to offer the world should she find her way again. Please be there for her and support her, do what you can to help her on her way. Please do not hurt her. I wish you both the best.”

I repeated this probably 10 times for the new girl and 25 times for my ex before I felt they had been received. After that I focused on myself and I was able to sleep really well and did not have any dreams (that I could remember). I have no intention of doing this little reach out again as I felt it served it’s purpose.

How about you patrick?

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Hi Patrick! I hope you’ve been well since we last conversed.

I talked briefly with a psychic. I did not give him details, but it was uncanny how much he knew. I’m honestly surprised at how much he understood and I will be talking with him on Friday in depth. I’ll let you know what he says.

@relic I watched The Secret and I absolutely love it!

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Cool. He sounds good. If he says something bad then maybe dont tell me.
But I have a feeling all will be good for you. Try to get some info on how he does it.
I must watch that too.

Oh, I’m fine by the way. I’m doing well. Feeling good. All will be Ok no matter what happens. Life will go on and I’ll enjoy it.
Hope you have been keeping well

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Hi pheonix. Good luck tomorrow with the fortune teller. Don’t forget me. Lol. Hope you hear just good things.

Well I had a strange one this evening. I was chatting to a few people about having the feeling of just giving up on the ex. What’s the point waiting around. Even though she had text those messages they didn’t leave anything clear. Just maybe that she was thinking of the good old days.
Anyway, then at 11pm, whilst talking for the first time about giving up, she text again. Why no contact at all she asked. She doesn’t want to worry because she has exams coming up. Please she said.
So I decided I don’t really care and replied that I was busy and good luck with the studying. To which she replied that is good I’m busy and what about the fact that I said before about us meeting up and staying friends. I said I could meet. She seemed to be happy with that and said after her exams any time. So I don’t know if the new man is there or gone. Anyway. Just to throw a curve ball, I said that I might not be here then.
There followed a few texts. Where would I be. Let her know. She will try to meet before. Good night. Good that I am doing well. I didn’t reply.

Would it be just coincidence that the exact moment I start telling people I’m moving on that that happens late at night? Still don’t have a clue what she wants. Maybe just friends. Maybe more. Maybe doesn’t want anything else on her mind until after the exams.
But I feel at ease tonight. I feel some power. I feel for the first time that everything will be ok. And whether I get her back or not doesn’t really get to me now. I have me. And I have lots to offer. A new improved me.
I could almost feel worry reading her last messages. Oddly, I could smell red wine reading another!

Strange goings on.

How are you? And again, enjoy tomorrow

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Hey Patrick! Thanks for the well wishing!

I would go with your gut on things. It is interesting that when you mentioned moving on, she seemed to pop back up. The fact that she said she didn’t want to worry about you with her exams strikes me as odd. How in the world would that tie into her exams? Sounds to me like she misses you. I wouldn’t try to read too much into the coincidence, but you never know!

I understand where you’re coming from however. When I reached out to my ex while meditating and told her I was moving on and wished her well. The next day my psychic said she had woken up from her sleep with thoughts of me (we’ll be discussing that in depth tomorrow).

We’ll see how it plays out, but the initial brief contact with me from him was uncanny. He stated that we pierced one another’s hearts like no one else has. She knows I could be the one, but knowing that almost terrifies her. She also knows there’s no one else out there that could love her as much as I do. He knew about the deep emotional scars she carries from abuse and how it affects her. If we had been left alone to grown on our own, he stated, we would not have had all the problems we’ve had… but influences were getting in the way. There’s also the matter of her own self-doubts getting in the way. Apparently she’s having problems internally between what she wants and what she thinks she wants. All of it sounded incredibly dead on.

I told him nothing about any of that. The most I said was that we had been in a 5 year relationship and she broke up with me. She’s living elsewhere now. We’ll see how the phone call goes tomorrow, but I anticipate it being very interesting based on how the initial contact was.

I’ve been working more on LoA the past few days. Tonight I made an attraction board of all the things I want to attract into my life with pictures. A lot of them were ones that I drew myself as I want to have a lot of my influence in them and my desire to get back into drawing. I’m really proud of it and excited to add more things to it! Might be something you could try out for yourself if you wanted. :slight_smile:

I hope you have a great day tomorrow and I’ll try to toss you out there for the psychic. :wink:

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Wow. He sounds good. That is all incredibly detailed. Did he say all that during a phone conversation? I’m looking Forward to Hearing more. He knew that she woke up thinking about you etc. Exciting and interesting. A lot say they are all scam artists, but there are some things that People could not possibly know.

I am not reading too much into anything she says or does anymore. She is clearly very confused. Which is quite the turn around because I haven’t known what I was doing or where I was going in life until all this. Now, for once, I feel Content. She can do what she likes.

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He had sent it via e-mail. It was really uncanny and he went into detail with so many things. I believe there are few with a gift like that, some will try to take people for a ride. But there’s no way he could have known all of that from some outside source. You’re right, there are things people could not possibly know. I haven’t had my call with him yet today as he’ll be calling in the evening my time.

I think most of our former partners are confused. It’d be a waste of our time to keep focusing on it when they don’t even know what they’re doing. Breakups are a blessing in disguise if only we take the time to notice that fact. I’m really glad to hear you’re content. :slight_smile:

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How did you get on pheonix? Hope all is Ok.

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You Ok pheonix?

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Hey Patrick! I’m so sorry, I’ve been busy the past few days. I’m doing very well and my encounter with my psychic was beyond astounding. He knew so many things and specifics and I only gave him general information like how long we were together, she broke up with me, and she lives elsewhere now. I cannot go into detail with the specific work he’s doing for me in regard to her, per his wishes and for it to work out. But I know it’ll work and things will be infinitely better. :slight_smile:

I didn’t get a chance to mention you to him. When he called and told me something really specific about her presently, it really choked me up and that was at the end of the call. :\

I’ve really been working the LoA and things have been going incredibly well. I made an attraction board and I look at it often and envision my future. I know it’ll happen. I’ve also been writing in my gratitude journal often.

Oh! Something really interesting happened. I went over to my parents house to find my passport and was digging around in my old room. I came across an old exchange journal my former partner and I had before we started dancing. It gave me a chuckle and I tossed it to the ground and it opened from the back. I had forgotten we started to write in it from the back when we were together. It opened to the page she had her final entry on, and it blew me away.

She had written about how much she loves me and how she knows with “all her wee little heart” that I am the One for her, even if I disagreed. No amount of searching elsewhere would change that ever. She stated I was attentive, gentle, kind, loving, absolutely cute, and always forgiving of her wiles. I am the most beautiful girl she’s ever seen. She loves me forever and always, and beyond that.

Interesting that I’d find that now of all times. It’s almost like fate (again, haha). Things are certainly going to go well and in my favor. I just need to be patient and keep positive like I have been.

I know that was a lot of stuff, but how have you been? :slight_smile:

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Good to hear from you. Delighted that you enjoyed the psychic and that all well work out well.

That is a bit crazy that you found that now. Definitely fate.

I’m good. Feeling better every day. As relic said, I now go to bed happy that I am me and that I am alive etc.
She continued making contact. To the extent where I gave a vague reply. She replied immediately with more questions and thinks it would be “cool” to meet after the exams. That’s in two weeks. I didn’t say anything to that yet. But I have my doubts that the new guy is there. She said it doesn’t matter when we meet. I am close to the stage of accepting and if it happens then it happens. But I know it will. And that keeps me going.
I just have one thing I’m working on regarding loa. Her. I meditate and give thanks. I enjoy all the little things. I met with a man from my home town yesterday. He was here for the film festival. We met for food and almost straight away he started talking about the mind and energy and loa. I’ve never spoken to anybody about that before and there he was talking about it. He said that if I wanted a book then buy xyz. I had bought that book a few days before. Don’t know why but I just liked the look of it. Nice evening

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Hey!Glad to hear you’re doing so well!

It’s a great feeling when you’re about to fall asleep and all feels right within yourself.

Glad to hear she’s still trying to keep in touch. I wish my former partner would do that now, but I know she will in time. Keep playing it cool! I get what you mean about accepting if it happens it happens. I feel the same way, but I too know that it will.

That is really wild about the man you met! I have not met anyone, aside from a few folk on here, that have talked about LOA. Do you mind sharing the book he recommended? It’s piqued my curiosity now. :slight_smile:

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The book is ‘the power of now’, by Eckhart tolle. You have probably read it.

He is a film producer so I expected a good talk. But I expected it to be talk of home and so on. I was really surprised when he started into that.

That’s 2 people actually. A female friend from home started telling me to get into it and she follows it now for a few years and swears by it.

I suppose we can take some comfort in our knowing that it will happen. The waiting is sometimes hard. The wondering when. But I don’t want to start wishing time away. I want to enjoy every moment I have.

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I have not read that one actually, but I’ll look into it!

That’s really wild, two people!

Waiting can be tough, but I waited 2 years total before. No biggie. There are plenty of other things I can enjoy during that time, so it’s all good. We’ll get there but we’ll enjoy ourselves first and foremost. :slight_smile:

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We will get there. I have a Feeling that it won’t take anything Close to 2 years for me. Don’t know why I have that Feeling. But I seem to feel a Change. A pull. Like I can feel her back again. Almost the Feeling like we are already together.

And yes, I am enjoying life now. And great to hear that you are too.

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I understand what you mean. And it certainly seems like it will be a lot sooner than later for you!

That feeling of change, like a pull… it’s interesting you should mention that. I feel like that’s going on behind the scenes right now in my situation. I still have not had contact with my former partner, but those feelings can’t be denied. Some bonds just can’t be severed I guess, no matter how hard you try. And when you’ve been through as much as we had over the past 5 years and then some, it’s kind of hard to just forget that it happened or act like it didn’t.

I feel the same way with it being like we’re already together. It’s a little odd since the reality hasn’t caught up yet, but those feelings can’t be shaken.

I’m having a little bit of a slow day today. I’m working right now and just feel drained almost physically. I think I may need to exercise for a bit.

Are you big into movies by the way? I know you had mentioned a film festival. Any particular genres you like or favorite movies?

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Some bonds cannot be broken. Odd today. I missed her if course. As usual. But I definitely feel a change. Maybe it’s me changing. As I said, I still don’t know what she wants. Why so eager to meet and share things. Why so keen to know where I am going and asking for the first time how my weekend was. I’ve heard nothing for 2 days. Don’t even know if he is there. But I just feel so sure (maybe falsely) that I am being missed now more than I am missing her. Like a first breath again after diving under water. I can breathe a little easier knowing that What’s coming is coming. And coming fast.

As for movies, I wouldn’t watch a lot. Not a big movie buff. I met with that mate and he was at the film festival. He is a producer. But in answer to your question, I would watch anything that makes me think. Or anything that is good! ! I’m not one for romances or horror. Some comedy is Ok but there are so many dreadful comedy movies. So many American comedies have almost always the same males cast in the same roles. They frustrate me.

I watched imitation game a few nights ago. A great movie based on a true story. Watched the theory of everything about Stephen hawking. Too much romance and not enough of his work for my liking.
I love Lord of the rings. Watched all the Harry Potters and so on. I don’t own a tv but watch game of thrones, peaky blinders, true detective and stuff like that.
Oh, historical movies. I like them too. Anything from gladiator or braveheart to empire of the Sun. And of course irish movies.
But I intend to start watching more.
What do you like? Any particular genre?

P.s. favourite movies is a tough one. Michael Collins, in the name of the father, life of Brian, a beautiful mind, clockwork orange, trainspotting, Bowling for columbine…

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I had a very vivid dream last night with my ex in it. It was strange, and it ended with me all but shouting at my former partner, who had not heard me talking to her and was more content to ramble on and on about her life, that I was going to propose to her. She stared back at me taken back as if I had slapped her and looked heartbroken… she was about to say something, but I woke up.

It was a little rough on me, but I was fortunate enough to have a lot of support from my friends. One in particular that is a mutual friend, but gravitates more to me as I’m like the daughter she never had, told me things would work out in time. She was certain of it. “She’ll realize all the good that she had in time and come back.”

I recorded a video today, talking about how my now ex and I met, all that we’ve been through, my plans for proposing and how I felt my actions were most likely misinterpreted. I made it for me, so that one day down the road years from now I can look back and see how far I’ve really come. I guess it was mostly to serve as a reminder that despite how things may seem at the time, it’s not so bad. And truly, it’s not.

I too love documentaries and historical films. But on the opposite end of the spectrum I love sci-fi and horror. I kind of grew up on them as my father is a big movie buff. I honestly love watching just about anything, though romance oddly enough isn’t a big one for me unless it’s made a certain way.

Lately I’ve been on a kick with older films. A buddy and I watch them together, even though he lives in another state. The really cheesy “bad” ones, like the kind Ed Wood made, always give us a hearty chuckle.

I’m also big into video games, art, handy work, writing/reading, and working with computers. I’ve been teased throughout the years asking if there’s anything I can’t do, but it’s probably a result of me helping anyone with just about anything if asked.

I hope you had a good day today!

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That dream was interesting. Do you often get vivid dreams like that? And your friend is right. She will realise in time. Such strong bonds cannot be easily broken. And you are working behind the Scenes on getting her back!
I like the Video idea. Pity I didn’t make one about 3 months ago; in my heavy drinking, falling apart stage. It is like looking back at another Person. Or rather that I am trying to Forget all about it. I am so embarrassed now thinking about some of the things i did.

My ex had some sort of breakdown yesterday. I wasn’t really replying for almost a month now but she was having a Panic attack and said that she remembered something from her past and it was eating her up. SOmething horrible that she had forgotten about. She wouldn’t tell me but said that there was nobody else she could talk to apart from me. Why me???
Anyway, I told her to meditate (something she has never done). And she felt better she said. All quiet then until today at noon then another thank you bla bla.

I am confused to say the least. I felt such a pull over the past week and then this all happened. And now my Feelings are a bit all over the place. Twitchy and nervous excitement. But it doesn’t feel like they are my Feelings. Well, not completely.

Anyway, I must watch more movies. More of the old stuff too. I could watch one per night now if i bothered.

Hope you are keeping well. Any News on your side

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No, I typically don’t have vivid dreams like that, let alone ones with her in it or ones that I actually remember when I wake up. But it could just be my subconscious brain working through things… but I don’t feel that was it necessarily.

That’s strange with your ex, but I’m glad that you were able to offer support in the suggestion with the meditation. It truly works wonders. Perhaps you should meditate too to clear up the tension? :stuck_out_tongue: It really sounds like you’re doing well though, keep it up!

I’ve been doing some research in my off time. I’m the type of person that wants to know why things work a certain way. So with regard to my ex’s departure, it left me wondering… why, honestly? Through some searching, I found the term GIGs (Grass Is Greener Syndrome). She fits it to a T and the stereotypical excuses she gave for the breakup tie in as well. There was no concise explanation, just stuff pulled from the air with “I love you, but I’m not in love with you,” “I don’t want to be in a relationship right now,” “I still want to be friends,” “I still have hope for the future,” etc. All of which are classic with GIGs. That almost cold feet approach and uncertainty of “could this be it, or are there better things out there?”

The unfortunate thing for a dumper with GIGs is they more often than not have a fallback person ahead of time and will rebound. They think it’s love, but it’s simple infatuation. After a few months (usually 3-4), they realize it’s not love and typically break things off the with rebound, start to heavily regret their decision to dump the ex, they feel lost, and never really dealt with the pain from the breakup. At this point, the dumpee has already healed and usually has moved on. More often than not, the dumper tries to get back with the dumpee but is still a mess. Because of this, the dumpee is more put off by it. Now I’m not saying that’s exactly how it goes, but I have read a lot of posts by dumpers that had GIGs and they regret it so very much. Sometimes couples actually get back together and have stronger relationships than ever before. It really is a toss up, but interesting nonetheless.

At this point I’m of mind that’s exactly what is going on with my ex. I know she’s beyond lost having jumped ship. She never dealt with the breakup properly, and I know this because she compartmentalizes and doesn’t deal with her problems head on. She is just in a relationship to be in a relationship as she can’t be alone, but she doesn’t really know this person and does not seem happy in the least bit. But I cannot be mad at her. I know she’s confused and hurting, whether she shows it or not. She made her choice and she needs to figure her life out. When she comes back, I hope she’ll have her life together… or at least be willing to prove she is serious about working on herself. If not, her loss not mine. I find myself thinking less and less of her daily, which means I’m healing well.

I hope you’ve had a good day and have some updates when you post again!