Just thinking. Could I have been feeding off her today? Is it her that is feeling down because I never replied to 2 personal messages? She might be feeling the pressure and therefore I feel it too?
Thoughts?
No problem, hon! That could be the case. I’m definitely glad you’re feeling better.
I noticed last night when I was drinking that I didn’t have any sort of feeling in terms of connection with my ex. I was a ball of laughter but I guess I may have blacked out at some point. When I woke up this morning I found a spoon taped to my wall with a note saying “You’ll know.” I have no memory of this and I don’t know what the heck I’m supposed to know. Oh the odd things we do haha.
Those moments when one feels nothing are strange. I notice them and wonder why I feel nothing. I almost feel guilty about them.
Today is still strange. Missing her a lot. I joined a gym there (just signed up) but I can’t rid this empty feeling. This sense of loss. Something is up. Maybe I’m just reading too much into things? I was doubting the texts, thinking they meant nothing. But they must have. “I’d like to talk to you again”. Could be read anyway I suppose.
But I have such strong feelings that something is going on and I can’t place it.
What were you thinking with the spoon on the wall? Was it just drinking? Ha. I quit drinking 60 days ago today. I don’t miss it one bit. Best decision I ever made.
You very well could be reading too much into things. :\ I’m not fond of the feelings like something is going on but can’t place what. They can be troubling.
It’s not that I didn’t feel anything. I was happy and having a good time, I just felt nothing for her. I’ve found when I see pictures of her it’s almost like I don’t even know the person or remember how she was, sound of her voice, etc. I remember how she used to be, but that was about 4 years ago before she really lost herself in the world.
Regarding the spoon I have absolutely no clue. I have not been drunk to the point where I cannot remember things… ever really. The worst episode I had with drinking was 6 years ago when I bet a friend I could down a large bottle of vodka before they came back from running an errand. That night did not end well, but I at least remember the majority of what happened. I’m not really that much of a drinker typically, but I’ve been enjoying myself lately.
Congrats on the quitting! That’s really impressive and I’m proud of you. 
How was your day pheonix?
It’s going great thank you! It’s all the little things that add up that we need to remember. Like that fact I hadn’t seen anyone mentioned LOA until I started learning about it, like how I came across a guy who I’d never heard of before, then he was in a magazine I bought, how im trying to attract an ex back, then all of a sudden all my exes have contacted me. All the little synchronicities, they let you know it’s working.
Don’t forget, the universe knows what you want. Don’t hold on to hard, and don’t concentrate on the fact you don’t have it. It will come eventually and deep down you KNOW it will, hold on to that, and enjoy your life in the meantime 
Cool. I really want my ex back. It’s hard not to concentrate on that.
She has text a few times over the last few days. Getting angry then old jokes. Then sharing something big in her life. Then saying she would like to talk to me. Still might be nothing but do you think it’s starting to have effect?
Funny about the exes. I had a short fling with a girl for a few months years ago. Haven’t seen her in years. She is a friend on Facebook but lives in oz and happy with a man. She liked a pretty daft post of mine today. I found that really strange at the time because she has not liked anything before.
What do you do? State your goal then work on yourself being happy?
I think you are reading too much into it. How much no contact have you had ? It’s really important to take this time to focus on yourself. I can’t stress that enough. Take each day as it comes, each morning you wake up treat it as a fresh slate and try to do things that make you feel happy; regardless if it would have an affect on you and the ex. It is the hardest thing to do, but really the most important. We all control our own happiness, and it’s simply not fair to another, or yourself, to make that happiness depend on another person.
I know it’s hard, trust me, I’ve been there and done that, still doing it infact, but it gets easier with each passing day. You’d be very surprised. You need to stop concentrating all that effort into missing them.
You need to learn to do something, no matter how trivial, that makes YOU happy just BECAUSE each day.
I’ll be honest here. At first I tried to do 20 minutes of visualisation each day, as well as separate meditation, remote seduction and countless other techniques. After time, I realised it wasn’t about me and that was the issue. I wasn’t doing anything for ME. Eventually I stopped, and concentrated only on making myself feel better. I still meditated, I still took time out of my day to give thanks and gratitude, but now I did it purely for myself, and for the thanks I felt for slowly feeling more positive each day. It’s all about yourself and your vibration. You can only change yourself, and the way you see and feel about yourself has a massive impact on the world we see around us.
Remember, thoughts become things!
Thanks for that. 12 days No contact. Although she has contacted. I’ve tried doing things for me but you’re right. I haven’t done enough.
So basically try to forget about her and focus fully on me? When she texts it’s hard though. Hard to hold back. Hard in general to not think about her and what can be in the future. Hard not to dwell on past mistakes.
Not so hot, but not horrible. My ex is in a new relationship as of today. I’m of mind it’s a rebound as it’s been less than a month since we broke up.
But I’m out having fun with a friend, so it’s all good. I’ll read all of the posts later.
A little more than a month. My bad.
Sorry I didn’t reply, it was early morning and I had to grab a few hours sleep before work!
Patrick, it is hard, it’s the most difficult to not contact someone you have spent so much of your life with. But it does get easier, trust me. Each day that goes by gets a tiny bit easier. And no, you haven’t spent enough time on yourself because you don’t love yourself yet. You might think you do things each day to be happy, but can you get in bed at the end of the night and say you love your life and you love yourself ? That’s where you need to be.
It all amounts to making small changes, every negative thought or doubt that comes into your mind, recognise it, accept it and then move on. Swap it for a thought that makes you happy. It’s hard, but with practice it becomes easier.
Phoenix, I know how you feel. I found out the other week that my guy is seeing someone else, and I have no doubt he got in touch with her a few days after he broke up with me. It didn’t affect me. I know what he’s like and I know this is what he does, it’s his pattern when we break up (which we have done a couple of times over the last four years), he needs to fill the void. And if that is how he chooses to do it, then that is his prerogative and I can’t change his mind. Until I change me. You need to be selfish right now, you need to concentrate on yourself and not her.
Everyone is all on their own journey, and it is not up to us to question their choices. We can only go with our own path, and those that are meant to walk with us, will eventually meet up with us somewhere along the road again.
Thanks for your words Relic. Good to have you on here. I’ll tell you something, I feel a hell of a lot better and prouder of myself now than a few weeks ago.
It’s hard to believe that 2 weeks have passed so quickly. And we haven’t had a Chat since.
Back home they worried that I would hit the drink again. That would lead to me losing my Job and back down the spiral I’d go. They even had a sister almost on standby to come over. But this time I didn’t. This time I said no. And I walked on. For that I feel good. And for that I can sleep easier each day. I can take the blows now. It’s the fear of the blows that destroys us.
I’m not horribly worried about it. When my ex first started going out with me she was over the top happy, would write things on fb about how she was in love like you see in movies, perfect fairy tale stories, and she had found her soulmate. All pictures of us together were happy and smiling. This time around, with this girl, my ex is not posting anything at all… it’s all this other girl posting and tagging her in pictures. She seems incredibly passive like she’s just along for the ride. No big smiles in the pics with my ex, none of our friends seem to approve of this relationship, her family certainly hasn’t… it all seems to be this girl’s friends/family. I doubt it’ll last long as she doesn’t seem happy really and appears to be very much one sided.
You’re absolutely right. I practiced cutting cords last night so I can be done with it and carry on without being held back. I am already doing so much better than I had months ago and I don’t want to be weighed down. It was strange though because I felt like there was a lot of difficulty cutting them, but it almost felt like it wasn’t on my part (almost felt like she didn’t want me to, but too bad). I’ve also felt worse physically the next morning having done it a few times. I started to have stomach problems the last month or two we were together, kind of out of nowhere, and it got worse after the split. I’m still of mind it’s me picking up on her feelings as she would have stomach problems when she was upset, yet I never did before recently. I cut them last night again as it almost seems like they come back, and this morning my stomach was incredibly pissed off.
I’ve been trying my best to focus on LoA, but there’s only been one really good article that I have found. Any others you could share relic?
@patrick_d
I am beyond proud of you! Keep it up hon! And you should be proud of yourself.
Pheonix. Can you please give some insight here.
As I said, my ex texts every few days even though i am in NC. Today was strange.
She sent 2 photos; First of 2 kittens that we hand-reared about 4 years ago. Second of a few of us running in the coutryside about 2.5 years ago.
She then wrote; “everything is different. I couldn’t go on. You know that”:
Please give your opinion.
Sounds to me like she misses you. But you need to keep strong and focus on yourself, hon. I’m not entirely sure what she meant by “I couldn’t go on. You know that.” Unless it means she has no intention of moving on and is waiting for you. But try not to read too much into it.
I think she means that she couldn’t go on in the relationship as it was.
What’s confusing is that she said 2 weeks ago that she is seeing someone else.
Strange stuff to send to me if that’s the case.
I didn’t reply. I need to get myself happy before I do.
Wish I could read her though. And know what she means
Hey, there’s all kinds of stuff out there :). Try looking for books your youtube videos by people like Abraham Hicks, NEville Goddard and eventually they will lead you on to more and more, but they are a great place to start. There’s a really great book and movie called The Secret, and a guy called Mike Dooley writes some pretty awesome stuff too!
Also, search for a forum called power law of attraction. There’s some really great people there with fantastic advice. They do have an ex back section, but a lot of the forum is geared towards having a better life :).
I hope these help!
How are you Pheonix? Any News at all? I have nothing Major to Report. Trying to Keep myself in check at all times. It gets easier.
The not knowing is hard too but I feel like she is coming back and we will be together soon. Then I have the doubts again. But she seems to be missing at least the old times, which is something I suppose.
Anyway, all about me now. If she wants me, she knows were i am and she can stop talking in riddles and come and get me.
@relic
thanks for that. Have listened to some Abraham hicks. Bought a book yesterday. Cant remember the author but highly rated online. A friend told me today to check out Paulo Coehlo. You ever read his stuff? I must buy The Alchemist.