Hi all just joined today so feeling pretty nervous sharing on here but from what I have read around it seems like a really mature and friendly place!
Just read though all the traps and no contact info, very useful information! Already know the trap I fell in. (Sounding desperate but more complicated (read on))
Right, I did write all the story out in a word doc but it just dragged on and on, to be fair it felt great to right all that down.
Well I should point out that I have never actually been in an official relationship but it felt a few days before we split that I was in a relationship with her. We had been going out for almost 3 weeks, chatting everyday talking on the phone all the time everything felt and seemed amazing, making plans for going to the zoo and watching football together, she even invited me to a wedding! Now going to the wedding was either a bad move but I thought why not it can only be fun! This is when the brake up happened.
Been about a week since we have spoken (But I have been speaking to her cousin and she has been trying to help me get her back)
The stupid move of me was her cousin invited me to her (cousin birthday) at a club. Now I was going though at the time a really bad personally family matter(and still am). The club night was utter sh*t just ended in a heated argument and the things she said where not towards me at all it was more of what she was saying about herself and when she just walked off and left me there I just broke down completely (This was not just only over her but also this family matter)
I tried making contact with her a couple days after when (this family matter got really, really! bad and I just wanted someone to talk to because she was the only person I had told, not even my friends and still don’t know about this family matter.) but a text replied with the word “stop” in it 
Now I haven’t included a lot as it was a lot more then this but…
To sum it up of what I think is she got cold feet and was scared of getting to close to someone again. Her cousin who I have spoken to said her last boyfriend took control of her and just left out of the blue, in other words just used her It’s so annoying because I feel… I don’t know, I was going to say regret, but I feel more like out of sync. (if that makes any sense :P)
Not spoken for 2 weeks now.
It seems she needs time to understand her own feelings. Give her the space she needs. Stick to the NC for 30 days rule and go from there
God why did she do this so close to so many events, her birthday, my birthday, Halloween, bon fire, Christmas and new years! I was so excited to spend time with her on these days. This is more me just ranting and getting it out of my system.
I know. We had plans to do fun things together on those days too.
It’s annoying because I feel in a rush to get her back to do these things with her but looks like I am defo missing her birthday which makes me so sad.
I am just wondering my birthday is the month after, should I invite her if for example we start talking and its for a good time?
You will probably need to wait until closer to time and decide what is best then. Probably are going to miss her birthday, but if you get back together there will be plenty of future birthdays.
I defo feel I am going to have to do longer then 30 days, week 2 is a couple days over. I think I might add another 30 days on top as I still feel unstable. (Keeping a logical mind is so hard) I feel better but I am getting really anxious to text her. I did write a text out and stopped just before I sent it and gave my phone to my friend to keep it in his room. (Living at uni)
Problem now is I feel lost with out my phone haha
We never really spoke of social network so I am not having a problem with that, except when I see she is adding new friends (boys). Trying so hard to ignore the feed!
Yes keep going on NC, and well, wait till day 30 if after that you still feel the same way do it for more 15 days. Its up to you, but dont do it for too long, it wasnt a looooong relationship. You dont know her very well and she doesnt know you very well either.
@Laurais13, Thanks you for the response!
I will see how I am after the 30 days. But yeah It wasn’t very long at all but it felt somewhat perfect and all of a sudden cold feet from her. I have done this to my best friend, all of a sudden change of mind about someone.
Its somewhat funny because I did not intent to meet her I saw her at the bar but it was my friend who dragged me over because he liked her friend. (me just being wingman) At the time I was not interested at all, but within a week my feeling got strong and I must of just tossed all the eggs into one basket.
God I miss her smile!
It is so hard. I read your post where you tried to explain your sudden change of feelings for your best friend. That is something that is very hard for me to understand. Is how she was so into me one day, and it vanished overnight. I miss mine too.
You are more than welcome I wish my boyfriend was missing my smile too.
But ya, but let me know how you feel and tell how your day went, dont suffer alone(:
@Sunshine11 Yes it really is a hard thing to explain, even now thinking about it I cannot understand my self of why. I think… the best way I can somewhat explain it is… its like a chalkboard, you can clean it, wipe it completely clean but there is still a faint outline of what was there. God its so hard to explain! So many emotions right now!
@Laurais13
I have two images in my head which is like my bank of truly amazing moments. One was when I went to universal studios florida with my best friend. It was late in a theme park all the lights had come on because it was dark. Just as we were leaving we quickly jumped on “the hulk”. The ride popped out of a tunnel at its heights point and it felt as though time had froze for a few seconds, the view was just outstanding and I felt like I had accomplished a dream.
The second one you can probably guess was with her. We had spent a while looking around for somewhere to eat and after an amazing fun meal, I could call it perfect. We wondered out and it was night at this point. While walking down I looked at her and she looked up at me and she smiled and I smiled back and looked back a head. While she smiled at me I felt the exact same feeling of accomplishing a dream in a sense.
I hate waking up sometimes after having a dream about her as I wish I could roll back time! Truly is a killer 
At first those moments kills us right? During the last two weeks I was like that, thinking about every good moment…But with time those moments lose its intensity… Your brain is looking for something to feel pleasure, but I hear that when you dream about your ex it means your brain is trying to push them away…
How are you doing today?
In a way we can perform inception on our selves. Thinking about anything in these cases our ex’s. Just before you sleep if you think about something which has significant meaning to you for 5 mins and then think about anything after till you fall a sleep you are more likely to dream about what you pushed into the back of your mind. If I remember its a way of your brain trying to organise it self. Which is a problem because I think of her before I sleep and then I tell me self be cool and begin to think about anything else. Thus dreaming of her some nights.
I can agree with your brain looking for pleasure. No idea about it trying to push them away.
Today has been… ok, this morning I felt like sh*t because of a dream… But throughout the day I have been mostly good. Just getting really board now, not fully started work at uni yet still mostly lectures and gaining info. Trying to use films to fill up the day but any sort of romance in them just brings her back into my head. So hard trying to keep busy with something when you are bored. (Friends are all like cba to go do things)
How about yourself, how are you doing today?
Well yesterday night I went out and my favorite yoga person contacted me, and she is like really famous has a bunch of followers like more than a million so I felt really happy. And also got happy cause He has been looking to everything I post on snapchat, he is always the first, so, I think that means something right?
But Im also sad cause he retweets the stuff she tweets and the tweets dont even have to do with him and she just mentioned him in a tweet, she was showing pictures of this dog, it is a husky, it is his favorite breed and we always said we were going to have one, cause its mine too. That brought me down a little… And I am trying to forget him… Even if I go 30 days Idk if i should talk to him. I know he was probably angry when he sent the picture with the girl, but it was pretty low. I am not ugly and she is uglier than me, he knows I can do the same if I want, boys also want me.
Do you have any advice of how guys deal with rebound relationships?
Hmmmm… him being the first to look at the snapchats, could be just chance or he is curious. I would say its good 
Him re tweeting somewhat sounds like he is playing some sort of physiological game. It could be he just is rewteeting them because he wants to. But If he never did that sort of thing before it might be something in his head is still going on.
I have played the physiological game but never found any results until you have said this about him re tweeting. It a way of getting in front of someone with out them really knowing and you can never really know for sure.
It seems he might be playing it to make you go more crazy so I would just ignore the re tweets and let him think he is winning. He will soon doubt him self if you don’t make any contact.
For your question of guys in rebound relationships, now this is not my own experience but from what I have somewhat seen from friends do. Guys tend to not share their emotions between friends from what I have seen, girls usually speak to friends and family for comfort (I assume). But really I am not sure on a guy rebounding after he has broken up with you, I know that if you broke up with him he is trying to play the jealousy game which is bad! But I am not quite sure to be honest.
I will give that one a think!
Well whatever it is what I had with him was longer and intense, and I knew he meant the stuff he said so… But idk if he is playin a head game, I dont follow him on twitter and he doesn’t follow me either, but he knows me so he knows i can stalk him. I am not sure, I better not over think this.
Do you have any other way we can contact, you are showing to be a realy good friend(:
I was just thinking about asking the same question but I was thinking is that weird haha
I have Skype add me Hunter14288
Also that’s really nice! Thanks you! Wish I said that first
God I hate going out (clubs) always think I see her. Really is just horrible, I am actually out at the moment trying to get her of my mind but god alcohol is not the answer to this. Just brings it all back! Feel horrible, one of my mates knows about my story but he’s with his girl which just makes me feel worse