I’m finding myself in a very similar situation right now buddy!
The best advice I’ve been given is the 30 day no contact rule.
Even though it’s hard (I was “dating” a girl for a month and a half but we were never boyfriend and girlfriend) and the same thing is happening to me. It’s painful to remember how good of a time you spent with someone that was so close to being much more.
In those 30 days you need to get the best out of yourself. So when you do finally talk to each other, she sees something even better than before. Good luck.
Feel free to leave a post on my issue, it’s titled something like “any advice will be greatly appreciated!”
30 contact rule is a real killer for the first 2 weeks. In week 3 now starting to get better but having big lows at night.
Cannot stand it when my flat mate talks about how hes been chatting to girls. I don’t want to tell him to stop talking about them because I am happy for him but its bringing back so many feelings!
Just cannot believe she did this just before I started UNI again!
This is what I don’t get, 1 night she rings me up just to chat as normal all happy all is good we speak about a wedding that she invited me too which is 2 days away. Next day we text though out the day then I have to go to hospital to see my nan so I turn my phone off. In there for like 1 hour, I come out text her saying “sorry was in hospital, talk when I get back xxx” She replies with “Not a great time hun xxx” I reply with “No worries talk tomz xxx” no reply… Wedding day she looked amazing omg… :'D Quickly I can tell something is off she’s not her self. Cutting the story short, I ask her cousin what’s wrong “oh she had a falling out with her mom” I’m was panicking like shit before but when she told me that I calm right down like oh this will pass right over. Well I was completely wrong. We go to where the after party is and an hour later, I walk up to her and she grabs her friends hand and says “Just going to the loo” I go talk to this guy I have been speaking to and he offers to buy me a drink while I’m walking out side her friend comes out which went to the loo with her and says “She wants you to go as she doesn’t want you to see her like this, text me tomorrow” I am like right I will go, I ring a taxi and her friend goes “Shell I get her to say good bye” I said “please”. I’m thinking right if she doesn’t come out that’s it, it over right her right now. But she comes out gives me a hug and says “I will text you” So 2 days go, no text. I contact her cousin and she says “She gone into her stupid corner she does this now and then”
Yesterday was a really big low I felt horrible, I was angry that we split and just wanted to scream as loud as I could. So instead I took my anger out on a pillow haha (punched it right out)
I had one of the worst sleeps I have ever had last night, kept dreaming about her and suddenly waking up like every half an hour. Must have woke up at least 10-15 times and no lie at all!
Once it got time to get up I got up put some music on got ready and went to uni with my flatmate. First lecture we had a really good debate on our subject which I think started my logical thinking again. I feel a lot different after that, so weird.
As I am writing this, she is popping in my head but only the good points and I am smiling that I had such a great and amazing time with her.
I feel as my 30 days are almost up only 5 days left now, in a way I understand her more and I can see the reasons why we split.
I am just hoping she doesn’t ignore me that will probably just set me off again. But I am telling my self over and over again to not panic stay cool and continue on with having a fun life.
I am thinking of a few messages I could text her, I will post them on her for you lot to read and comment on them or just pick which one is best.
i dunno it just sounds like… well yeah exactly, a bit formal. i think its giving too much away… like you said one thing (the thing that supposed to catch her attention) and then ask her a question. shes not gonna respond to the first bit, and thats what you want. otherwise you might as well just send her a message saying, ‘hope youre are well’. i just think you should keep these things as sort as possible. My personal opinion. i could be wrong, but i think you have to make contacting your ex (no matter the situation) all about her.
dont tell her how you feel, that you miss her, or thank her for the good times. she needs to remember these things herself and by you shoving them in your exs face, will just push them away. Sorry Nick, none of this is directed at your situation, but if it helps, it helps. i just think this is were most people screw up, because come on, what is the likeliness of your ex and you never speaking again? if you were once really close, im sure it will happen. maybe not sometime soon, but it will happen when they get over the pain.
my first love broke my heart and i never thought id recover. it was messy for a long time. i hadnt spoken in 2 years or so and things were still pretty awkward then but after my ex and i broke up, my first love started talking to me again and i mean really talking. (not flirting or anything i made it pretty clear i still love my ex) but shed tell me things about her sex life (how she couldnt be satisfied by anyone after me in the 5 years we were apart, other various things) So yeah, dont lose hope. things are never as bad as they seem. just grow and become a better person. learn from the mistakes that were made in the relationship and try not do let it all happen next time. Trust more and love more. (at least, these are things i wish i done)
the harry potter one sounds like a good idea. that one is my fav, but like i said, id leave it at that. dont show youre emotionally there for her (i guess thats what i was trying to say all last message -.-) shell use you as a doormat. she might let you back in her life but its not gonna be as you want.
@Brambie why do you say that? I liked the first one. but go with the one you feel is best. dont get your hopes up in case you dont get an answer this way you wont feel disappointed if she doesnt respond. stay strong and calm. your doing great. keep us posted.
@brambie I just saw this post and read what you said. I see what your saying. would you mind giving me your opinion on my post as well. @Nick, haha your so right lol. hope we didnt confuse you, lol.
hey Nick
you are very mature and you definitely deserve her!
but she seems like acted too cold…
I am immature and probably I will send you a "stop"to you coz of the anger issues,
the first thing you should ensure her feelings to you during these 3 weeks, was she serious with the relationship as you or the family thing really touched her “breaking point” ?
you and her only lasts 3 weeks do you think 30 days are too long ?
@Vanessa9 Thank you for the nice comment Really appreciate that!
During our 3 weeks she was always happy, smiling and it seemed as though we where in a relationship after our first date. About 70% of the time she contacted me first, in the morning, midday and a phone call at night. It was a boat ready to set sail for a long, long time it seemed.
She would always ask how my day has been, what I am up too. Most of the time I said I am working as I work as a 3d artist. She would always go “Oh sorry!!! Talk later hun xxx” We would always speak about our day every day. What went on and so on.
Then like I said one falling out with her mom and that’s it. Over, I wish her mom told me they had an argument and not have to ask her cousin what’s going on. (Still have no idea what the argument was about)
I don’t think I met up to her expectation on the wedding day, I should have been more there for her but her being down put me down and I was too scared to ask. (I had asked many times and her response was always “I am just tired”
The 30 days is more for me really, I felt with my family matter and her combined it really hurt me and as she wasn’t there to catch me at all it has put a dent in me. Which I feel is not going to be repaired for a long time.
Need a quick response! Just found that abc is doing a harry potter week starting soon. my 30 days hit today, I was planning to contact her tomz. Should I tell her that its on tonight???
