You can’t ignore her about this unfortunately. Wait till she contacts again though. Then reply.
I think you do both need a bit of space after this though
I answered her next call. Told her all was okay. Just waiting on a lymph node sample. She started off very casual and distant. Then started crying that she was worried about me. And that I had been ignoring her. I told her that wasn’t the case. I then said thanks for calling to try and cut the call short. She immediately said “why are you so eager to not speak to me”. I said that I feel we need space. She then started crying again saying that she was scared I had cancer and that not communicating with her about that wouldn’t help our situation. So I assured her if there was any emergency I would contact her. She went on to say that she was supposed to go on a trip with her sister this weekend and should she cancel in case I need her. I promptly told her no she should go on the trip and have fun.
How did she leave it after that, sounds like she is using this to contact you more as excuse.
You need to be firm with her now mate, she can’t have it both ways. Your either to needy for her emotional support or she gets upset when you don’t depend on her.
This is oddly encouraging, just keep up the nc. Maybe see how she reacts when she comes back from her trip.
Yeah I agree with Jburg she’s not happy either way she has you but the best option I think is to back off because she obviously wants to feel needed and appreciated in your life. Its a typical woman thing to do :P.
Still no contact from my ex however he looked at my snapchat story i posted last night at about 1am before he went to bed obviously. He looks at all my public snapchats I don’t send them to him personally these days. Its kind of like he’s stalking me a bit
Ended things off with me telling her to go on her trip and ill inform her if anything urgent comes up. Damn I’m a softy for tears hey. Melts my heart thinking about how worried she seemed. But gotta stay strong. I don’t know how all these tweets and snapchats work or how u know he is looking at them. But that is gooooood. Next time look extra sexy. But not try hard or slutty. There’s a fine line. Smiles all round. Guys are like chicks when it comes to these things actually. They just don’t tell there friends. What helps me is that when I start thinking about good memories that make me sad I realise that those memories also come up for her. And they do for men too, trust me. We aren’t emotionless bastards as much as we act like it sometimes. When my ex of 6 years broke up with me and I was partying with my mates and having fun, I would always think about her and our good times. I just wasn’t worried about losing her because I had the gut instinct she would come back. And as soon as she started feeling better about herself and stronger the boot went on the other foot. I was chasing her like never before. She had me wrapped around her finger. Once you get to that point, which we hope you do(and I genuinely believe you can), then you can work on building a mature relationship where you don’t let these things slip back again. I’m feeling a little optimistic about things after that chat. I was definately in control. Jburg I’m sorry I still haven’t had a proper chance to check out your post. It has been a really long day. I promise first thing in the morning ill look it over. Thanks a lot guys u have been so supportive and helpful!!! Jburg have u read that book I asked about? The Game by Neil Strauss. There is some sleezy shit in the book that I don’t agree with. But the general message is quite eye opening. It helped me with another ex a few years ago. I don’t know if your situation completely requires it, but its an interesting read all the same.
That ending to your convo wasn’t so bad just don’t let anything important come up now lol.
Lol well the difference between you and my ex is that he sit at home drinking alone ir with his roomie and plays his video game all the time. I saw he played it last night and a lot of todsy too lol. I don’t know if I can wrap my ex back around my finger. He’s not putting in any work on himself and we haven’t talked in days now so I’m struggling to see how haha.
Also I have seen this cute guy at the gym. I could see him looking at me through the mirror as I was doing legs but that’s about it sadly haha
I thought it was pretty good. She seemed very concerned. I think she was using this as an excuse to get hold of me. Now that she has no excuse the true colours will shine when she contacts me. Any updates your side?
Lol yeah they will find little excuses to get ahold of you. My ex has actually been doing that the last few weeks. Nothing on my end sadly 
we haven;t talked since tuesday when i barely responded to his cancelling the movie we were supposed to see. So I feel he’s avoiding me. And that girl from my work who he’s trying to get in contact again with who wants none of it well I saw that he’s tried to send her a friend request i think but she won’t accept and he liked a photo that she liked cause he’s following her. I’m quite disgusted he’s messaging her. I don’t blame her at all, cause after how our friendship ended she could be vindictive towards me but she hasn’t but of all people he could message he chose her.
That is really shit. I wish people would just take relationships seriously. How you feeling? Its so screwed up that people can take such dedication and flush it down the toilet as if it were nothing. That’s how it feels. I still haven’t send anything since our conversation. I am a little hungover today so feeling pretty anxious about the situation. How’s ur boy from the gym?
I’m feeling ok actually. I feel as though i might be starting to get over my ex however I know that when he messages me or if i ever see him i’ll be right back to square one again even though its three months on. Its redic its dragging on this long. No word from him today and he normally has contacted me on saturday sometime as its his last day off before heading back to work for the week and he’s done it consistently for the last month. I did however go ice skating with a friend tonight and i uploaded a public snapchat which he was the first to view and then a photo of me on the ice. Today hasn’t been my day at all though lol, no word from ex and then see cute guy at gym but with a girl who’s his girlfriend :(. Lol just my luck hey.
Do not reach out to your ex ok 
The fact that he is looking at these pictures is a good sign. Whew it is really difficult not messaging her is difficult. She knows I’m doing it to give her space and to take care of my own shit. I just worry that she is not gonna contact me first. Is it possible to remove your ex off these social apps? I’m just thinking that taking that away from him might spark interest as he will have less access to you. Don’t do it yet but what social apps does he have access to keep tabs on you? Sorry about the shitty day
Yeah they’re public but I can also see that he has no need to go on snapchat because you can see the other persons tally of snapchats they have sent and received and he has not received or sent any so its not like he had a reason to go on there specifically. Yeah I can delete him the only social media apps I have him on are snap chat and Facebook (he deleted me after we broke up and then I accidentally sent a friend request to him from my phone three weeks after which I didn’t realise i did until he accepted lol). Like you though I’m worried that by deleting him and me not contacting him though will cause him to just move on and not message me. Its been almost a week since we had any contact but I don’t mind haha. I keep waiting for him to react and delete me again but he hasn’t just yet. He knows I don’t really want to be friends and why I’ve been sticking around for a while now maybe now he’ll start to take it seriously that I’m not just here to support and care for you nd hurt myself in the process.
Hey final shine how are we doing ?
Just thought I’d give you an update. My ex was online this morning on fb even though he had been at work for two hours already and was still working (we work in retail so its pretty hard to be on our phones) like he was stalking me as he knows my work schedule. Anyway that morning after I start he sent me a message regarding his career change. About a month ago he had an interview for a brand new career (which was daunting to him given he is 31) but I was always supporting him. Anyway I met up with him right after his interview and he was like I really needed you here today and then that was the day he started things up again kissing me and stuff. However it burned out not much after. Anyway he messages me on fb and this is how it went:
Him: Didn’t pass the interviews so its another year to wait. Gayyy.
Me: Sorry to hear that. You’ll do better next time.
Him: All good I was expecting it.
Me: Where do you think you failed at (even though I already knew).
Him: It was the interview process, haven’t had a proper look yet.
Me: Well you’re right there’s always next year.
He then didn’t respond to that. I tried to keep it unemotional and a little supportive but I can’t just be there completely for him i’m trying to show him I’m not just there compleltely. I’m kind of worried though it might upset him but I also want to make him think a bit. He didn’t respond so i wonder what he was thinking.
No… Why did you respond to his message? You should have ignored him. Seriously. This is a crucial time and you need to look like you are not there anymore. He is testing the water to see if you have moved on or are still available to talk to. You cannot react to anything he does. Also if your remove him of facebook now it will be reactive. The more reactive person to a situation is always the weaker one. Please dont message him again if he sends you anything. It may take a while now. Although you didn’t say anything bad. You shouldn’t have asked him questions or attempted to prolong the conversation. Fuck I went out partying last night and when I got home I checked facebook and there is a picture of her with her sister. She cut her hair really short and I think the picture was put online to get my attention. She was growing her hair again and I really liked her hair long. I think she is trying to get a reaction from me. And it nearly worked. I couldn’t sleep after seeing it. Not really sure what to do here. That was pretty hard cos she was such a big part of my life and now she seems to be so distant. I don’t know if she is doing all these things to get a rise out of me or what.
I would have ignored him but this was the one thing I felt I couldn’t ignore because this was so important to him ad I was such a big supporter but now I responded but I felt i wasn’t fully present for him. How I reacted above has been completely different to when we have talked about his career change and what happens if he doesn’t get accepted. It wasn’t an attempt to prolong just to show that I’m still there but feeling unemotional. Why do you think he didn’t respond ?
Yeah I actually have done something crazy with my hair, sort of to get the attention of my ex but also I ended up loving it haha. So it may be to get some attention off you. But don’t react
He broke up with you. And you want to be supportive? Were you supportive during the relationship? Sometimes to stop being supportive is good. He needs to see that u are no longer there for him. That he can’t count on you if he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you. Fuck I am really struggling hey. I mean she never posts pictures on facebook. And now her sister posted these. I dunno if she is trying to show me that she can do whatever she wants. It sort of feels like a slap in the face.
Well I was being supportive when it seemed like he sort of wanted me back which was around the interview and I was there for him completely so the above conversatin for him probably would have been like what the fuck. Cause he didn’t even respond to my last message however to sure why. He said even if we’re not friends and shit he’ll still let me know how that shit goes with his career which is odd. I dunno what do you think. It just seems like some times he just can’t stay away. Which is when i worry that when and if i ignore him it will piss him off.
And even if you guys were together she should be able to do whatever se wants right ? Just cause you liked her hair long doesn’t mean she should keep it like that should she ? Don’t take it as an attack on you (it might help in getting your attention which she wants) but women always do things with their hair. Just don’t give her the reaction she could be looking for.
It probably will piss him off if you ignore him. But at this point in time he needs to be rejected by you in order to feel like he can lose you. If u piss him off it doesn’t matter. Being pissed off is a reaction. And the most reactive is the weaker person in the situation. The stronger person always calls the shots and makes the final decision about the relationship. Right now you have no say. He can call you at any time and you will be there. You will get back together with him. He is certain. When he is no longer certain that he can have you then the tables will turn. Please don’t message him again. And don’t respond to anything he sends you. If he messages you it can wait 8 hours. There are no life or death emergencies. Next time post here first and we will discuss what your best option is.
Whew I am so worried she is not going to contact me. This is really stressing me out. It feels like I should just message her and try and sort things out but it seems as though I have to play power struggle games. I am having a really hard time with this
Yeah I just worried about not responding to this one thing. Everything else he has sent me over the past month is meaningless but keeps me hanging on but this was actually serious but I think I showed him who’s boss a little bit lol. Im still reactive about the things he does because he’s still negatively having an impact on my life. However I think that I have kept it to myself and away from him and also that if he came back right this second I would still question him and us because of him messaging that girl for one and just taking me for granted pretty mich. Not what a relationship should be.
Now remember I know this is hard but all the advice you give to me you have to take too. I know it’s easier said than done on here lol I do the exact same. Luckily for you you’re earlier in your breakup so it’s still early days and everything’s still raw so you have no idea which way things could go. The longer mine drags on the less hopeful I remain