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Thanks Julia! That keeps me moving forward too! And my “false” hope… 🙂
Hope he is too busy to find other girls 😛
Not sure is it ok to keep “false” hope…
Since I knew we were not breaking up because we don’t love each other anymore, but he can’t balance his life out of so much stress, work, sleeping issues, etc. That’s why he kept saying stuff about “right now” (or it’s just in a polite way..). That’s why he always make sure I can focus on study and school (or it’s just because he’s guilty). That’s why he said to our friend “Yeah I will be her friend. I’m not going to drop her but I want her to focus on herself.” Maybe he still has the hope that when he goes out of this hard stage of life, we still have a chance. But if I give up on myself and lose everything in my life because of the break up, we would really never have a chance together. So he cares about me improving myself and being successful in school so much.
…..
I’m new here but I love how supportive and loving the people here!
And it’s so nice to see heartbroken people DO get their life back in order again! I’m staying positive now!
Finger crossed for my huge exam next week btw 😀
Thanks for the comment Dara! The hardest part for me right now is I couldnt imagine my life without him. All I do is motivated by the thought that we are going to get back with each other… How to deal with that then?
Also, did we “friendzone” each other? Because I said “you can talk to me when you’re not that busy” and he told our friend that “yeah I will stay friends with her”… is it bad?…
Sorry that I got a little bit emotional tonight..
Hi whoever seeing my post, if you don’t mind, please also take a look at my update post, which is on the second page here and is super long (so it’s easy to spot!)
Really wanna have some insights from you guys for what he said to our friend.. Seems he does want to stay friends…
Loraina, thank you so much for your reply! I’ll definitely keep hope and also better myself! 😀
RAED-
Don’t be sorry at all and I absolutely LOVE your comments! I love all the people here, so supporting and sweet 🙂
Yeah he’s been working 14~16 hours per day but I didn’t understand (maybe because I’m still a student) and kept videochating every day which cost at least 40mins per day… I know promises right now wont’t work anymore so I’ll follow NC and let the needy images go away from his head…From the messages he sent to our mutual friend (just posted above your first comment 🙂 ), I still think he’s considerate, although he made the decision to break up… He is worth fighting. I will do my best.
Aww it’s so nice to see how all you’ve changed!!! I’m so happy for you, LA 2.0 and Giulia 2.0!!!
So happy so see everyone here is on the right track!!
Another update –
1. I dreamed about him last night. This was the first time I dreamed about him after he told me about the break. In the dream we hugged, which was nice, and then I asked him why he wanted to break up with me and why he insisted while I gave a lot of proposals? Not a great conversation in my dream, and then he had a meeting, I said “make sure you call me back, ok? you promise” And he said, not very patiently, “ok, ok, i’ll call you”. And then the alarm rang. I was happy that I finally got to sleep till the alarm rang since I haven’t really been sleeping these days. I kept waking up at nights and finally woke up before 7 and then never was able to fall back to sleep. This is so abnormal to me, because I am sleeping a lot when I have my good days… And I didn’t go back to sleep just so I could see him again in my dream and ask him why, I just got up and started my real day. So I guess I’m not too addicted to him right now.. And the dream also indicated that I’m not in a good mood to talk to him. So, NC!
2. I was in a mess on yesterday’s morning. And then our mutual friend came to me and talked to me. She’s really nice. She knew my ex way earlier and my ex and I actually met each other through her. She showed my a part of their chat history (of course not all) by screenshot, but I appreciated it a lot. So here’s the part of the conversation, I’ll just type the exact words and feel free to let me know what you think 🙂
He: A big reason I cant handle a serious relationship is mostly because it’s just not a good time in my life. I worry far too much about others and I’ll just end up hurting both of us. More than I already have. A lot of this may seem selfish, but I hope she understands that it’s not all selfish.
……
He: Good, the only thing I ask is that you help her succeed. Grades and tests.
She: She just kept asking me if you still like her and I told her she needs to work on herself first. I’ll do my best. She’s been studying hard and I think she will do well.
He: Yeah she needs to focus on herself or she will get nothing. Mostly her success.
………..
She: Do you plan to stay friends with her?
He: Yeah but she needs time to heal. I’m not just going to drop her but I want her to focus on herself.3. And..about the FACEBOOK
He: How long is an appropriate time to change my Facebook status to not dating? I don’t want to stress her more than she is
She: Good question! She asked me the same question, I guess you can just hide it?
He: Ok thanks bud. I care less about it being accurate than not hurting someone.I hided my relationship status after we broke up. Now although it’s “only seem by me”, it’s not “in a relationship with XXX” anymore, it’s only “in a relationship”. So I guess he deleted but hided it, which made me a little bit sad.. But it’s totally understandable, because anyway we are not dating anymore.
4. I started to reflect in this relationship too. I feel like it’s both our fault. If I could have been more considerate and independent, maybe it wouldn’t be this hard for him to handle a relationship.. Anyway now I know I have to work hard and get good grades. I kept visualizing when I tell him, hey I passed that exam! It must be an add-point!
Sorry for this being so long, and thank you for reading all my posts here.. You guys are awesome. And I felt much better after writing all these stuff. Have a great day you all!
Joe- I understand you so, so much
My ex (omg it still hurts to call him “ex”) told me that he needed a break last Monday, and we officially broke up (ok hurts one more time here) last Thursday. I couldn’t eat or sleep or study during the whole last week while I have a super, super important exam on next Monday (I don’t blame him tho, I know this is hard for him too). I kept being good and bad, kept switching from positive and negative, I am currently sort of positive but who knows what I’ll be in moments..
Anyway, just want you to know that I understand you A LOT. And I know this is so hard but bettering myself is a MUST do. I keep visualizing that time I talk to him is “I passed XXX!” (He knows that is a hard exam, especially after we just broke up…) That must be a plus so I just keep working hard!And today I’m not feeling horrible, although I still couldn’t really eat.. I have lost 8 pounds since last week and every one says I’m skinnier, which may be actually a good thing haha 🙂
You know I’m not a native speaker so please don’t be mad at my grammar mistakes or something.. Just wanna let you know that I understand you so much and I’m sure it will get better.
Awww thanks a lot Dara!!! You too!
ps, I love this forum and more importantly the people here 😀
Dara –
That’s funny but also makes me believe that everything is possible, which helps me to stay positive!ps, this is my post if you don’t mind sharing your thoughts a bit 🙂
May seem impossible but I want to try my best to get back with him
I’m not completely sure what you should do because I just started my NC actually.. But I thought it’s a good sign that he still is thinking of you 🙂 (I’m so new here so please correct me if I was wrong!!!)
Also, READ, I love your comments so much! If you don’t mind, could you take a look at my post?
May seem impossible but I want to try my best to get back with him
Haha just saw earlier posts of Meriem.. I thought Dara was a girl and a.z. was a guy too.. 😛 Now I know…
Could anyone seeing this check my post and say some advice for the next? I really appreciate 🙂
ps. the good thing is I finally am able to prepare for my huge exams.. 🙂 Still thinking him a lot but I know bettering myself is a MUST do no matter to get back with him or have an amazing life myself 😀
