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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 1,515 total)
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  • #1635
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    a.z
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 778

    Steve has already a thread like this and it is about struggling with NC.i talked to Rihanna and it seems like most of us aren’t checking the home page wall and it would be nice if all of us can get together again and talk like we used to.
    Hope this is a good idea πŸ˜€

    #1638
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    a.z
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 778

    I will start myself:D
    When i read edward’s post below steve’s threat last night,it made me feel like i want to try again and get him back πŸ™ i know its embarrassing but i want you guys to know how i feel. i feel relaxed that there is nothing left for me to worry about and there is no more mind games and misunderstanding and false hope,but i still love him.i’m not desperate seriously i’m not depressed and i’m doing good.i don’t want to start a new relationship cuz i don’t need it and my personal life can’t get any better.i have guys around me who i flirt with but i don’t want to do that anymore i don’t need any of that any more.i got my self confidence back and i’m happy with my life.i also accepted the fact that its over and we may never even talk to each other or anything.

    But i need your advices,you guys always make me feel better.do i just need time to move on?i know of curse i do but what else can i do?

    There is still a part of me that keeps saying that even though its been almost 6 months,but i skipped the most important part of the plan which was about reattracting him.I never met him again and i kept ignoring to meet him.he didn’t see the new me and how happy i really am.he coulnd’t sense that.

    All he saw,was my photos,and video calls and i couldn’t show the real me.and we kept arguing .and after i read the Nonviolent communication,i communicated with him once πŸ˜€ and i told him that i needed to finish that LOL.the communication worked and he told me about his feelings again but now what?

    Tell me what you guys think even if you need to tell me i’m a stupid never stable girl.

    #1662
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    Giulia
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 82

    I think that is really good that you feel so great right now!
    About the fact that you still love him even after 6 months, I think is actually normal.
    But if you feel that you missed to try something, I say…go for it! I mean don’t have regrets!
    My best friend…well my ex-best friend never showed a bit of support , just because she like started a relationship of some months with one of our friend, so she’s living in a candy world…well fuck you too, I really needed her support but she just said things like: move on,you can’t do nothing, think about yourself,he is having fun and he is calm don’t torture yourself like this bla bla bla….and then she just vanished!

    Other friends and this blog showed me that I can still do something,and I’m doing everything that I can, I changed so much I’ve became stronger and more confident wich are the things that I know he likes.

    I think that even if I don’t succed,I’ll have no regrets! because I tried everything in my power!
    So if you feel some kind of regrets about not doing anything that you could…go for it do it

    #1667
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    FestivalDavid
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    • Total Posts: 35

    Hi A.z

    Ill start off with a quote from Will Smith (Who I absolutely love) and I do keep thinking about this a lot of the time

    Dont Chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people -the ones that really belong in your life- will come to you and stay

    I can see where you are coming from about you thinking you may have missed a trick about re-attracting him and if you think you have like Giulia says, go for it.
    However, My opinion is maybe you haven’t missed a trick…I do think that just because you didn’t set out to “re-attract” him..i still feel he sensed it.
    You said yourself, your flirting, your confident etc
    Whether you notice and feel this yourself or not..I think you will of come across confident and everything in your communications sub-consciously and will be giving off this confident vibe.

    You know when they say Girls and Guys attract the opposite sex when they are in a relationship? and they say thats because they are not looking therefore they have this certain “something” about them, that attracts the opposite sex.

    I think you should carry on enjoying yourself like you are doing and he will soon be questioning his decision and realize what hes missed.

    You definitely shouldnt have any regrets, so if you do think youve missed a trick, go for it as no matter what we say youll always feel a regret yourself, so you know what you feel :), just be careful not to loop back around into square 1 of the false friendship etc

    x

    #1673
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    a.z
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 778

    Guilia,
    Thank you very much,i love your attitude and i’m glad your doing well.

    FestivalDavid,

    Thank you very much buddy,first of all I LOVE THE QUOTE ,thank you for sharing it with me.yeah,you are right.and when i think of the falsefriendship again it scares the hell out of me.but i guess he couldn’t sense how confident i was.i mean there were times that i was confident but there were also times that i couldn’t hide my sadness and i also showed obsession and jealousy.even though i tried to fix them and i acted like i didn’t care but like i said before,no one knows me better than my ex.and he knew exactly how i felt for him and why i was doing everything i was doing.he knew exactly that i wanted him back.and he is really sure that i am not gonna move on anytime soon.

    Thank you so much david,i think all i have to do right now is to live my life and not think about him and try to move on.

    #1689
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    Robot 3
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 469

    a.z.,

    If there is any trick that you have missed go for it but if you feel that you couldn’t show him how confident you are, don’t go for him. A true lover will love no matter his/her love is sad or not enough confident. I truly don’t understand why should one keep distance with you because you are sad.

    One of the main reasons that forces me to move on is my ex girlfriends reaction when I went to her house to beg her for another chance after the breakup! She took advantage of it and this kind of people are not good for my life! Moreover, after that she acted grumpy when she saw me in the public until I wrote her a letter saying that break was for the best!

    Your ex is confused! He never asked you to come back like a man! Moreover, he said he is going to another country and you should move on! Maybe you can play tricks that you haven’t played to get him back but I hate long distance relationship and I think you are like me in this case!

    I believe you should reach a point of “I don’t care”. If Edward succeeded in getting his ex back that great for him but it does mean that you, Festival David, Steve, other and myself who did not get them back are losers!

    Well, to much of lecturing! LOL

    Giulia,

    My friends left me when I told them that I am in trouble! I just talked to two of my real life friends about the breakup! You may not know, how good I felt when I spoke about my pains here! Maybe this was all I needed after my breakup even more than getting my ex back to make me feel good about life! Yeah! Fuck those real life friends! They just come either when they need help or when you feel high and they want to share it! At least my friends were/are like this!

    This site helped me a lot! This is why I believe! For this reason, I believe I may re-visit here even if I am in some other relationships just to hear someone speaking once in a week (maybe)!

    FestivalDavid,

    How do you do? I believe you are also doing great! keep it up!

    #1691
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    a.z
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 778

    Thank you Dara,yeah i know.i also don’t think if he is really moving to another country that was another mind game i guess.but you are right.he said he loved me but he never did anything about it.he let me go.you are really right i got emotional when i read edward’s post.i mean i shouldn’t even be thinking about him.he was f…ing sure that he wasn’t gonna lose me and he could keep me in his life like forever.i need to move on.

    #1694
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    a.z
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 778

    Dara,haven’t you checked festivaldavid’s thread.her ex doesn’t want him out of her life at all.i believe he really is doing great.

    #1695
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    a.z
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 778

    I think i’m gonna be here forever πŸ˜€ don’t you dare leaving us πŸ˜€ i’m gonna miss you more than i miss my ex πŸ˜€

    #1696
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    Giulia
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 82

    Dara

    Yeah I know right? …you only see who really care about you when you are in truble!.
    I’ve known that person for like…13 years of my life, and what she did made me feel so much worse when I was in so much pain, if I’ll forgive I’ll never forget!.
    I’ll still be gentle,because I’m not a person who likes to fight with people,but I’ll never trust her again,that’s for sure.
    I was actually that kind of person that’s gentle ,I was bullied so I know how hurtful being mean to someone can be,so I’ll never be that person.
    But I was too gentle,too soft…and people can take that as a permission to do whatever they like with you…but no more! I’ve changed, I’m no ones doormat!

    I was lucky that I had the others,my two girl friends, where would I be if the didn’t help me during the first days.
    And even the boys, who are always with him and I’ve met them trough him, were really sweet. His bestfriend even encouraged me and asked me how I was and everything.

    #1706
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    FestivalDavid
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 35

    a.z,

    I do think both our ex’s are doing the same thing to us both.
    I totally agree and understand what you mean about your ex knows you better than anyone and you maybe got obsessed or felt a bit sad…coz I think the same thing with myself!

    My ex seems to know what buttons to press/say and then basically I melt!…Like I wont talk about my feelings, but somehow like houdini!…at some point in the conversation she has somehow gotten it out of me that I care/still love her!.

    I noticed by reading back over my conversations with her etc..that the times we argue is when she thinks im moving on and when im not chasing her…then she will start an argument…I will bite back..but then at some point during the argument I will reveal my real intentions/feelings and then suddenly she backs off!. It sounds like your ex and you have done the same ha!.

    My motivation for me getting past this and i think for you too…should be the quote above AND…think…do we both really deserve someone that kind of takes joy in knowing that we are not moving on anytime soon?…you said yourself both of them do not want to lose us but they are happily messing with our heads and keeping us dangling?

    Part of me likes to think of my ex as a good person, but then part of me is thinking…SURELY they know what they are doing? especially as we have told them the reasons why and been upfront etc.

    If they want us…they will sure as hell come get us!
    πŸ™‚

    Hey Dara, im doing good thanks mate, still having ups and down due to frustrations with the ex, I posted all my latest updates in my thread, but pretty much same as a.z

    x

    #1709
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    Robot 3
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 469

    a.z. & David,

    I guess David highlighted the point!

    Its really great to have someone you can read your mind! I personally love it! I love to have someone who would understand if I am in pain, joy, anger, love, hatred, agony, etc. I would admire that understanding! However, What I see here is that some of our ex are using the knowledge against us! This is what sucks! They don’t think about “us”, they think about “me”. At least my ex did!

    I know that our (a.z, David and myself) ex have been playing mind games. Ideally, we don’t want breakup. It means we want them for as long as possible. I can’t imagine someone playing mind games with me for long time! Can’t imagine it forever. Maybe someone help me playing mind games with others! LOL

    Giulia,

    I’m glad that you had good friends around you. By the way, I suggest you to not talk about your true feelings to your mutual friends. He may hear them from those mutual friends (who may even have good intentions) but it will show you as a desperate/needy person.

    Unfortunately, when I saw that I did not get good response for some of my friends, I did not risk endangering my reputation with others as someone emotionally unstable or someone who is not strong enough to deal with his personal problems. A part from playing it cool with my ex which was the plan, I had to play it cool with my friends too and talk about something unrelated to those present in my mind.

    I hope you will be doing great soon!

    Best of luck everyone!

    #1710
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    a.z
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 778

    You are absolutely right.yeah,that’s exactly how i feel.a part of my mind keeps saying that he was the best boyfriend ever ( he really was,he never made me sad even for a minute,it was me who was starting arguments for exactly nothing even though he was giving me the full attention,i wanted more and i was being obsessed and insecure during the last month ),but another part of my mind keeps saying,if he is really that good,so why is he acting like a jerk? why is he trying to mess with my head? why the hell he says the goddamn i love you and then why would he back off?? :OOO
    I think both of us are really done with that mind games,if they really love us,they will find a way to get back with us.

    Do you remember once your ex said,she thinks when you break up with some one,you don’t know if you want them back or not until they move on and you realize that you want them back??
    I remember that.it was in one of your posts on the comment section like 2,3 months ago.i think we should do the exact same thing.if they haven’t moved on until now,they won’t move on until the next few months i guess.
    Even if they start a new relationship,it hurts but its better for us.we believe that we had a perfect relationship with them.they will start comparing the new ones with us.and i’m really sure that its not easy for them to have a really good relationship like they had with us.
    First of all we need to move on for our own good.and i’m sure they will sense that.
    I’m pretty sure that your ex keeps contacting you,and i kinda feel that my ex will contact me someday,i mean its not like i died or something.

    We should change the game this time,we tried everything except moving on.and they will only believe that we really moved on after a NC period.

    I read a story today about a guy who wanted her ex back after 2 years.he broke up with her and she was trying to get him back for a really long time.suddenly she stopped contacting him and moved on and now the guy wants her back.

    And another story,that a guy broke up with a girl and she begged him not to leave her.he agreed to talk to her at least as friends.they kept talking as friends for 2 months.then one day the girl said that she is seeing another someone.and the guy understood how much he loves her and now he is trying to get her back.

    What do you think πŸ˜€ ?

    #1712
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    a.z
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 778

    And Dara,
    You are really lucky you hate long distance relationships.but i do believe you do have a chance to get her back.you have been doing great and she absolutely doesn’t know that you want her back.you didn’t try the falsefriendship .you have more choices chances than us.

    She’s been playing mind games but that doesn’t mean that she is bad person.i played mind games,am i really a bad person?? πŸ˜€

    #1715
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    Steve
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 142

    Hey a.z. I do like the idea of a thread where those who have been around for while can continue to discuss as we use to. Even if its one like me who spend more time reading then sharing and talking.

    I wouldn’t feel embarrass that after 6 months you still want your ex back. I think Relationship rewind mentions that in your life you have those special relationships that you know are worth more then others and they are worth fighting for. That while you may be told there are plenty of fish in the sea, there is always something special where they have had a strong effect on you. I’m guessing that your ex, for all the issues he has, still had that strong effect on you.

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