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Loreley sweet it’s normal to feel this way from time to time even if your ex seems like an awful person but Robot is right… He has a great point there with the list. Let your ex go and allow yourself to meet someone new… I feel lonely all the time but it is what it is… Nothing stays still life will evolve so will we… We’ll be in a better place hopefully soon. All my love xx
I’m off to city mall… AGAIN! Do you see a pattern here? I’m going on the pretense i’m “shoe shopping” but really I just feel lonely as usual and that’s why I go every day … What’s your routine guys to break loneliness and pass time?
LOL I think you go to mall with negative attitude–avoid negative lonely thoughts! I had these thoughts starting from the last weekend but now I am using my time to read books. Usually I go to gym which is a routine thing too but it has always proved to be a mood stabilizer. Plus I meet new peeps. Previously I used to get drunk but this time I have decided no to get drunk so often–once or twice in a week is fine LOL Seriously alcohol stirs up emotions.
Dear Robot 3,
I broke up with him around about 7 weeks ago. I left him because dysfunctional relationship. He was a completely selfish guy, tend to insult me or made me feel bad, he was annoying. Yes the intimacy part was awful. He was completely stingy person. Buuuutttt the worse thing was we engaged already. Love made me blind.. even soooooo freakin hard to think what is the positive thing about him? Tick tock tick tock. I must be crazy!! Many guys tried to reach me but I was only focusing with this guy who doesn’t deserve me.
Thank you!!! Now I feel recharged again. You should try to think positive too and yes change yourself to better way without too much alcohols 😉
Rihanna baby,
Thank you big sis xx Any updates from mall today? Hahaha. I would love to accompany you. Many sales btw. Because end of the year. Up to 50% everywhere here. Wahooo. Haha. Remember fall seven times, stand up eight!! Stay strong and stay beautiful 🙂 xxx
Hey Loreley, seems like I’m chasing you from post to post hahaha…
Well, consider yourself lucky that you didn’t go through with the engagement and marry this selfish idiot like I did and wasted 9 years of my life with someone undeserving of me… So at least you’re still young and beautiful and have LOTS of time to heal your heart and move on… I like that you went out for a coffee with a new guy and you didn’t lure yourself to think there’s more cos there isn’t! I like your attitude, you show much more maturity than me haha… I went out for a coffee with a guy who seemed soooo keen and then ghosted me but I can understand that we didn’t have much in common and I just feel lonely which isn’t a good enough reason to be with someone, I guess 🙁
I agree with you. Robot 3 definitely needs to ease his alcohol intake haha… though I love his spirit and love for life sometimes we need to let go and enjoy ourselves… I’m proud of you Robot for taking a step back in your alcohol intake and putting your effort into gym and work etc… these things will benefit you in the long run and will get you the woman of your dreams… better than your ex!
OMG my mall journeys need to cease or I could go broke very very soon. I went to buy shoes cos I have none and few bras and I couldn’t find anything so instead found myself at the Kookai store buying unecessary overpriced tops haha… But I felt extremely lonely cos everywhere I looked and even ugly girls had boyfriends and friends and I have neither 🙁 … I’m not usually the type to look at what others have and compare but perhaps a broken heart brings to attention the small details no matter how small or irrelevant in life… I’m soooooooooooooo sad all the time. I miss something I don’t know what. It’s not anyone in particular anymore but I feel homeless, no job, no family and no friends… It’s hard not to belong to anything or anyone and that’s how I’m feeling at my old age… I look good though hahahaha ;)…
I hope you’re all having a better day than I am. I can’t wait til these holidays are over I’m so over it! All my love xx
Hey everyone,
Thought I would pop on to wish everyone a belated merry Xmas. Its been a few weeks since I was last here yet this thread has grown nearly 10 pages. Glad people are communicating with one another still. Been too much for me to read it all, I will try to catch up with everyone stories over the coming days.
Hope you all had a great Xmas
So I have been doing a lot of soul searching (Probably too much…lol) since I found out at the start of the month that my Ex has been dating someone else for a while. Yeah I have been going through the crazy Facebook stalk phase as she puts up new profile pictures every few days of her with this new guy. The latest one really tore me up as it was of them together with her parents on Xmas day all looking so happy. That was me a year ago and it brought back so many memories of my best Christmas day ever. Didn’t help that I spent this Christmas day alone at home.
I get that she is never coming back and that its long overdue for me to move on. The issues I have at the moment is the perception of contrasts between my Ex life and my life at the moment. When we were together everything was amazing and we were both very much in love with each other. We had what I thought was a great relationship. I had a decent social life, work was going well, our future together look bright. Then the breakup happen.
To me I lost a lot of friends as they took her side and I relate with you Rihanna about Saturday nights home alone on the couch. (Gee I wish we were in the same city as there would be no more lonely nights with you). I had to quit the social activities I was involved in because of her. I experienced long, extreme depression for the first time. Work suffered because of the depression I went through. On top of that other then a couple of bad dates a few months ago, my love life is non existent. You are talking to the guy that hasn’t had sex in 8 months now 🙁 My perception feels like my life got very pathetic after the breakup.
Where as my perception of my Ex is that she was doing very well with herself. Her Career was just starting to take off in the final month of our relationship and she has done extremely well since then. She has increased her social circle and now is part of high society. She moved on so easily and got a new boyfriend. Plus she has been very open about this boyfriend obviously not caring one bit about how it would affect me when I found out. (Not that she had to care because she moved on). It has felt like I was really nothing to her other then a stepping stone whereas I still feel like she gave me the best 6 months of my life. That line of thought has really been tearing me up.
Robot 3 – reading some of your posts I think you might be on a similar wave length as me in that you know you don’t want to get back with your Ex, but yet its that feeling that she has found love and we haven’t that is bothering you.
Anyway once again I come in here rant on with a lengthy post about my woes and troubles then disappear. Thanks for letting me vent guys and girls. I will try to hang around this time 😛
Rihanna
It’s okay dear. The grass is always greener on the other side 🙂 we tend to think like that. They might be having partner but we don’t know what they have been through. It’s better to be off alone instead stuck with the guy who can’t make us happy. Try to join let’s say a new community. Go out to gym or class of yoga perhaps? Haha. Or maybe you should try some of dating sites? Haiz I’m not good enough seems like to give advices. Pardon me my big sis. You’ll be fine.
I knew I wasn’t ready for this new guy who asked me out for coffee. It’s just not fair for him either. Because I still try to fix things in me 🙂 what makes me hard only I was in europe for 5 weeks with my ex. Yes we had beautiful summer holiday together. I met his big fam in germany. He met my grandparents in holland (my grandparents live there) and luckily he didn’t ask to marry me when we were in Paris. (he did that in holland) Because otherwise he would ruin that beautiful city for those damn memories. Now things changed. Completely changed. I accepted. With all of my big heart. I accepted. I dont know when I will fall in love again, but I believe once I’m ready I will be better. Much much better. I believe you all will do the same.
Steve,
Hey merry xmas! I am sorry that you feel low etc. But yes thats what I’m concern either. Idk how would I feel when oneday I found out my ex fall in love or in a relationship again. Thats why I cut everything about him in my life. It feels so good. Although once in a while I still think about him. I am the dumper, but lool at me. I still do think abt him even I know he was truly an asshole. Everything has reasons. Oneday we will be saying to ourselves “thats why it never worked out with anyone else” when we found someone right. Stay strong. Be better version of yourself and don’t compare.
I know I’m still 23. Lack of experiences. But what I know when it comes about loving someone and care about someone, I never take that for granted.
I think about all of you guys. I am nervous and excited about new year. I might lose my ex but look what I’ve got here. New family 🙂 love xx
Guys,
All of you. All of what youre going through. My advice is meet new people and make new friends. Honestly it helps a loooot! Thats what i did. Making new friends and having fun with them. Eventually it will stem out. your new friend will introduce you to hi/her friends. It will make your social circle better and the potential of new partner is higher. You will set up activities and trips together. Its like a brand new start. Brand new happiness. It replaces the old bitter me ories of new happy ones. Go to places where you can meet new people. Enroll in some classes just so. There are a lot of people you can meet.Steve, man ive been through that. Break up changes your life big time. You just got to stand up man up. And move forward with your life. Dont worry man. I didnt had sex for 9mos before i got laid that i didnt enjoy. Its okay dude its normal. Meet new people build new circles. It helps a lot. 🙂
I agree with you Daniel I don’t want past relationships or exes… I’m sad coos of loneliness that’s all… I want to meet new friends and get introduced to new people but how or where? That is the problem with me and the city mall isn’t helping at all! Haha…
Hi Guys, Merry Christmas and A Happy 2015 Ahead. Sorry for the late reply as I’ve been partying hard and tied up with work as well. I’ll do my best to response to all whom I was chatting with previously. Sorry that it seems a little back dated.
@ Loreley:
First of all, congrats that you’ve passed your german test with outstanding results and Thank you for reading my letter. Yes I’ve written it, but I’ve yet to send it to her. Basically I’m not ready to meet her yet, but I’ll do it soon as I’m not feeling as much hurt when I happen see her post on FB. All I could say, it could be his self-defense mechanism working in place and its tough to understand how it works as it varies individually. And oh yeah, I’m not too far away from you, Just probably around an hr or two plane ride away… Singapore right here… Hahaha…@ Robot 3:
Hey Robot, I think we’ve got pretty similar situation. I’m a one man army too, distanced relatives whom are related by blood but are no more than an acquaintance, parents whom always speak from a negative perspective and a father whom always puts me down with the harshest words that made me felt worthless. I guess they have taken our care for granted that they don’t realize it. Such matters do take lots of self reflection. And yeah it does feel great that I’ve got two girls liking me now, however my heart is closed up and still half heartedly towards my ex. Some times I feel like I miss her so much that it would be wonderful if we can work things back together, some times I feel great alone. In any case, I’m just enjoying the flow and getting my confidence back first before I decide on anything man. For me, its kinda weird in terms of sex. I dont feel sexually attracted to any girls man, don’t even think of having sex with anyone. I’ve seen hot girls around, just that ‘it’s’ dead for now… Hahaha…I do think its true to that guys do have harder times after breakups, partly also being the male dominant, we cant go to our buddies and have a emotional cry out. That just sounds gay in the male world, while females always have their sisters ready to lend their shoulder.
And these days, I still get pretty nervous hanging out in the malls man, aint sure when she would pop up right in front of me and how should I react to that. Its just crazy. Hahaha…
@ RAED:
Yeah man, I agree with you. some times no closure is still a closure, just that you’ve got to conclude it yourself. Its been 7 months for me and I’m still dreaming of her too that we are back together and having happy times, yet only to wake up knowing its just a dream. Aint sure to be happy or not man. And I’m just amazed by how you analyze things man. Certainly makes decision making much easier.@ Rihanna:
Yeah it does sting a little when we see other couples out there while we are alone, yet I smile knowing I would be with someone else next Christmas, although I’ve got the slightest clue who it is or would that even happen. Hahaha… And yeah, the pain reminds us that we are still alive.Val
It’s been 7 months also since she broke up with me. Ha ha! I guess most batch of Oldies here broke up last May. So yeah. Happy 2015 ahead, guys! I’ll have to go to work tomorrow though. Wish we could hang out or live in the same flat. Ha ha!
Hey Val, thanks a lot. Happy to hear from you again. Yeah man singaopore isn’t too far away. Haha!
Knowing everyone in here mostly already had 7 mos since broke up, haizzz I still have long way to go. 7 weeks. Completely junior here haha. I hope I will be completely fine anytime soon. Like 100% fine.
Can’t believe it’s last sunday of the year. I was out to city today and had dinner with friends. Was seeing around and already could tell “Ah he’s cute” sooo I think I’m on the right track lol. At least!
Monday again tomorrow zzzz. Back again to university. I wish you guys have a great week ahead! xx
Lol LAbound!
Everyone, here’s LAbound. Another great guy who decided to move on after few months broke up and if you guys have time just check his stories out. He has a big heart!
Steve,
Sorry that you are in this situation. It really sucks when you see someone has replaced you. The day she “pretended” like she is talked to her guy I was so furious and ready for fight with that guys (honestly, I’m not sure if he was her boyfriend). Honestly, depression really sucks! It is something for which you are not faulty. From August to mid-December I was furious with all that had happened to me and all I had gone through. Oh! Facebook pictures really suck!
To be honest, I was/am not sure if she is in a serious relationship with anyone. The day (in August) asked her if she dating she said yes but when I asked her about this guy she said she does not want to talk about “it”. At that moment I felt like she is lying–do you remember what a.z. said to her ex when he asked her if she is dating. I told her that she is lying and if there is any guy, I want to know about him. Then she kept screaming about calling police. Two days later, I wrote her a “goodbye” letter–I really meant it and I did not mention about any friendship.
I met her at gym the next day and we had a meaningful 3-4 seconds of eye contacts and I was the first one to digress. 5 minutes later, she talked to this guy working out in front of me but she told her that she is going to work upstairs. You don’t introduce the place you are working out to your boyfriend because he already knows it. Though I hated this guy but a part of me feels/felt like she was simply faking. The same night her friend who is my FB friend too posted pictures of my ex implying that my ex was with her all weekends. Anyway, I was like f**k them–I’m tired of these dramas! I did my best to avoid my ex later.
about one and a half month ago, she happened to see me in the gym and maneuvered around me. I bet that she only wanted to see if i still have feelings for her. Around 14th of December, I realized that she has deleted me from Skype. I asked a mutual friend (in fact my friend rather than hers) to check her Facebook. This dude could not find any conspicuous sign of any guy. I honestly, don’t know if she is dating anyone or not. This is why a part (really small) thinks that it can happen. Yet, most of my me including my mighty logical part does not want to meet her. However, I feel confident to meet her and I don’t care about her because it was because of her that I had bad days!!
Anyway, I am still curious to know if she is dating anyone or not.
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