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Posts
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@ RAED:
Yeah Raed, what you say really have much truth to it. When you love yourself enough, whatever that comes along the way or not, you are still happy with or without them.@ Robot:
Guess yours and my time line is somewhat similar and I’m going through the same thoughts and urge to know whats happening on her end. We’ve got a mutual friend, but I’ve been resisting the urge to know how she is, perhaps procrastinating as well. There’s always some fear to know if shes attached, i would feel hurt, but happy if she’s not. Hence thats probably why I procrastinate trying to find out. And recently when I’m going out shopping, its weird that I keep looking out and around. Some part of me wanna see her, the other half doesn’t. Guess I aint sure how to react yet if I do see her, to run or to say Hi and walk by cooly, although I know the latter is suppose to be the better way.@ Loreley:
Well, if I have any similarities with your ex, then it might be his way of trying to overcome the hurt from the breakup. I did join a dating site too, looking around for others who are looking for a serious relationship too, but I was no where near from moving on from my ex, even till now, I’ve not been able to move on yet. However if I recalled correctly, you break up with him, right? Hence whether has he moved on or not doesn’t really concern you. Some people could get over in a few days, some could take years. However I guess its some jealousy in you and also I doubt he knows what hes doing too, but just doing something to try get over the pain. Some times what you see or hear just may not be that way. In any case, such matters are too complicated to comprehend. Just concentrate on yourself and things would be so much simpler.Yes Val, I am the one who left because everything messed up already. I am thanking you for your point of views. I am still 23, he is still 24. Maybe both of us are just not ready yet for marriage. Thats why everything was falling down too. Everything.
I was reading your final letter to your ex. It was beautiful. My heart hurts to read that because I was hoping my ex would say something too. Everyone around me said he would regret to lose me. Even his sister and his parents said I’m a great woman for him. But he couldn’t see it. He will never see it. He constantly made me cry, sad, depressed etc. All I had to do just forgive.
Isn’t it funny? I am the one who left. I know and everyone knows this is the best thing to do because million reasons to give up. I am the one who mostly asked him to stop hurting me. But in the end he’s so fast forgetting me. Forgetting everything for two years. Thats how I’m guessing. Idk how he feels actually. I am not a mind reader.
I need to move forward. I cant be friends with him even he offered so many times. I need to study harder, work and so on. I wish him well….
Val,
Sorry that you had rough days lately. This site is good for venting out emotions but if you feel this pain is constant and overwhelming maybe you should meet a therapist–it worked a lot for Joe.
I read your letter and I think it’s not your ex as the only factor that makes you feel bad–I am in a similar situation–I am one man army–no families–only a mom who usually criticizes me. Just like me ex my mom also says “you don’t care about me”. I have come to a conclusion that either I don’t care about others or I care so much about them that they get addicted to my “care” and don’t see it later.
My feelings are of different type now. I sometimes can’t relate my negative feelings to the breakup. For example today I feel good about myself and it does not make any sense to me why was I so “intensely” curious to know about my exes life. Maybe because I realized that she is “officially” not dating anyone. I also recalled that once she told me that if there were two people on earth she ever wished to marry, one of them was me and she told this to me when our relationship had gone bad! I don’t think she ever lied about this to me and it makes me feel good–that was a real confession!
Dude, because of this feeling that I had yesterday, I got a girls number yesterday–she is super hot and she asks me questions which makes me feel that I am close to have a 24×7 sex soon!
Lorely,
My breakup was 7 months ago. It felt terrible. Just an eye contact made me ask for numbers but I had no feelings for them. I was hurt by a “girl”, so deep in my head I was anti-feminist that I did not want any relationship. To be honest, for the first month I could not even imagine sex with anyone other than my ex. I was like, “f**k you, my ex is much cuter than you and you trying to be political in your texts pisses me”. 7 months down the road, I am not 100% ready for a relationship. People are different–your ex might be like me or may not be like me.
First few months and weeks are rough, so stay strong!
BTW: Your wordings sound like my ex? Are you sure that he tried to hurt you? Wasn’t it that you had high expectations from him that he could not satisfy which hurt you?
Sincerely,
Robot 3Robot 3,
Yes you’re right. Everyone is not the same. My ex might be move on, might be none. Just like everyone said it’s none of my business too actually. I know…
Yep I’m sure he did hurt me. He even admitted and said sorry. I know what was going on. It was truly toxic relationship where everyday was always fighting. He is kind of a guy who likes to make me feel bad most of the time. I was sticking because i had hope that he would change.
He said a week ago when he contacted me again that he learned a lot in this relationship. He said he’s completely fine with himself. I don’t really get it. What does completely fine with himself mean? That he accepts?
I know him actually. He’s not a womanizer. He’s not a one night stand guy. It’s not his things. But well found him on dating site makes me thinking enough to say to myself, does he really try to forget me etc etc. Because after NC rule, he was just suggesting as friends. Which is good. Because even he asked to come back, the toxic things are still there. But because I still have feelings, I said simply to him no I can’t be friends with you. He said it’s pity and he will reply my contact whenever I’m ready and not hating him anymore. He said maybe he deserves it because he did hurt me much.
4 days till Christmas. Oh well…
Hi everyone!
Loreley, I’m really sorry baby girl that your ex ‘seems’ to be moving on or perhaps he can’t stand the thought that he stuffed up by letting you go and he’s on dating sites to force himself to move on… either way, you’re still very very young and have lots to look forward to in your future, a great healthy relationship is one. But having read that he made you feel depressed and sad all the time makes me thing that your break up was for the best. Who cares if his mom or sister or the next door neighbour likes you and thinks you’re perfect for him? what matters most is that HE the one you’re gonna share a life with will think you’re perfect and all the things his family thinks of you… To that end, I fell in the exact same scenario and was in a relationship where his entire family fell in love with me and I stayed with me for years unloved and unsupported by him until I asked myself: ‘what’s the point?’… Anyway, 23 is soooooooooo super young and he seems immature so don’t worry about your future, you will soar! I know it’s very hard and I’m going through some heartbreak myself but not for losing anyone in particular, I just have this fear that I might grow old lonely 🙁 … you shouldn’t have that fear at your age. Move on, live life, be happy 🙂 … And as for Xmas, I can’t wait til this “jolly” season is over I’m sick of it already! Xmas or not we have to go through this phase until we pass it one day soon…. and it shall pass that I can promise you 😀 All my love xx
Robot 3 – please don’t take your hurt on other girls, these girls have feelings too… But I’m glad you’re moving on although the whole 24×7 sex seems to be bit unrealistic hahaha… but I get your point. Chin up. Be happy 🙂
Raed,
I miss you and your genius brain! So sad that someone a decade younger than me is so much more experienced in life especially with relationships… But I remember you saying you’re really good at reading people’s personalities, I wish I could use your brains to read the personality of someone in particular haha!
But yes I agree, I am learning to love myself more. Each day I do something for myself for fun. I dress up and look after myself and go out acting all confident. I even had a guy chase me down the street to tell me I’m beautiful! I wasn’t interested in him but he uplifted my mood and i’m thankful for that.
I’m so happy for you that you’ve moved on. You gotta teach me how to let go of people the way you do without attachment. I tend to get attached so easily that when some guy just disappeared it hurt me truly despite the face he’s not really my type. or maybe I did like him who knows? Anyway, I have to learn to be more like you and be impartial about whether people will stay or go from my life (I’m talking about people I meet randomly not friends and family here)… Anyway, Good luck and hope you have a merry xmas… what’s it like to celebrate xmas in philippine? xx
Loreley
Rihanna’s advice is so much win. I’ve been in a very toxic relationship too that even after we broke up I still suffer from it. If it has always been unhealthy then don’t try to get back together. I know it is easier said than done but when you’ve fully moved on, you will realize that you deserve so much better, honey
ROBOT 3
Rihanna doesn’t seem to recognize you because you changed your name! Ha ha ☺
Rihanna
I miss you honey. I don’t think it’s about the age. I’m just good at observing people and it is what makes me unproductive most of the tume so it isn’t a win though. Ha ha!
Sometimes, observing helps because you don’t need to experience something yourself to be able to learn from it. I easily get attached too whether it be with a friend or a fling. I have problems with attachment as well. And to tell you I haven’t fully moved on with the ‘ex’. I have moved on in a sense that I no longer love her nor eant her back. But I haven’t totally moved in with the trauma just yet.
I still feel uncomfortable having her around during friendly gatherings. And lately, I’ve been having so vivid dreams of her. Whenever I think of the girl I really like/love now, the ex always appears in my dream. I don’t know why but it sucks that even after the relationship she still keeps invading my personal space in means of a dream. Ha ha
Instead of getting pissed, I just shrug it off because as I have read it might be our subconscious minds’ way of slowly detaching ourself to someone we were so attached with.
If ever someday you feel like crying when you suddenly remembered him, just let it be. It is our body’s natural defense mechanism of helping us slowly put into trash whatever memories that are still left with us. Especially if it isn’t a real good breakup just lime in my case.
I never had the closure I need. But sometimes, no closure is still a closure ☺
Rihanna
And with the beauty you have, I don’t think you’ll grow old alone. Stop thinking about it. The more you do, the more it is bound to manifest.
And if ever no guy is smart enough to notice your worth, I am here. We could be a couple. Ha ha! Kidding!
Rihanna
Someday, someone will walk into your life and will make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else.
Thank you Raed… I’m doing so many mistakes haha I hope it won’t lead my life to trash… I should always ask you before I do anything from now on lol
I’m sorry you feel this way about your ex but still it’s the process of moving on …
Robot 3 is definitely Dara… I love this guy he’s super cool and crazy hahaha…
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