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Everyone,
I made a deadly mistake last night! My roommate and I talked for 4 hours! I should better say, I talked for 4 hours about my ex! The good points–how it started and the bad points–how it ended! It backfired on me! I dreamt of her and woke up now–5a.m.!! I made another deadly mistake!
Oldies sometimes become miserable! I am really happy and fine today! I was doing really good last night too! Anyway, dreams happen! 😀
Hope everyone is doing great!!
Dara,
I feel you bro. Apparently talking about the ex before sleeping triggers a dream about them it fuckin sucks i know. It will pass later today. Its a sign that you should never talk about your rx again. HahaSeeing all your posts here made me realize maybe I should never just drive to him place and “surprise” him..
Sometimes I feel like this because I am sure that I’m not a mess anymore, I actually look better and have some achievements in school and other areas, I feel like I want to show him that I’m composed and independent enough.I feel like talking to him, rather than having a “middle man” (our mutual friend) between us, who is even not genuine and is playing tricks to stop us being together.
But I guess going to him is just a bad idea.
I still want to get back with him, and do not want to completely “move on”. I just feel like this is not over in this way…OK so I’ve made a decision to go home for the weekend and I won’t call to my ex but I’ll go to a pub near his place and I might bump into him accidentally on purpose…
Rihanna – How are you, what’s going on with your ex?
Sunnyinthegarden – I think you should go to see him (because that’s what I’m doing too) but is there anywhere you can see him casually like an event or exhibition so he won’t think you’re there especially for him?
saoirse,
How do we pronounce your name?
I like your idea! At some point, you should conclude if there is any chance! Life is too short to waste on mere luck! The harder you work, the luckier you get! Pub is the best place to meet an old friend!
Steve,
Waiting do not make much difference after 3 months or so! It will be much painful to see you ex dating someone while you were doing NC! I wish that’s not the case with you!
sunnyinthegardn,
I realized that there is a missing “e” in your name! 😀 Maybe not!
Anyway, I’m glad that you are doing well and you feel strong enough to make a strong move! Middlemen are not usually the best ideas!
Also, even though you are here in Oldie, but you are the youngest member of this group! Did you do 30 days of NC?
Saoirse, Dara, Az,
I did NC. Our last contact date was Aug 10th, when I replied the breakup email and sent all my best wishes.
During these days, I am half way done with my certificated exam (4 in total, I passed two with high scores, 10 days after breakup!), started school and got involved in a lot of activities, got an part-time internship starting next week, lost 10 lbs and am looking better 🙂
What made this hard is, we are in the long distance relationship. I’ll have to drive 6 hours to meet him, this is crazy, right? And I don’t want to tell him because I feel he would say no, and our mutual friend will come out and say something bad.
Another crazy thing, I sometimes watched the daily videos that he sent me before, I didn’t feel sad, but I feel joyful and happy.. I feel like I’m going crazy…
I just really want to do something to make it work and I’m really feeling more confident, composed, and independent right now since I’ve been doing well without him. And because English is not my native language, I worry that there will be misunderstanding through texts/messages. I think if we can talk face to face, it will be more clear.
I don’t know.. What do you guys think? Am I going mad..?
PS, am I the youngest? I thought a.z. is! I’m 23 years old!
Also, I made it missing an “e” on purpose! Feels it’s cuter haha!Hope everyone is doing well!!
Dara- nice mike Tyson Video. I have learned to accept that no matter how hard I can try to forget my ex thoughts will always be there. Having dreams of my ex is something that happens often for me. I’m sorry you are still torn about your situation. I hope you have more great days than bad. In a way I’m a little envious of you because you got some closure at least. I havnt gotten anything from my ex.. No reasons of the breakup after our very long history. As always I wish you the best.
My update:
So this past week was my ex birthday. We have been broke up for 5 months now, it was alittle more than 4 weeks of no contact. I was torn on what to do for her. I decided to have flowers sent to her work and I sent a card to her house. So the day of her birthday I called the flower shop to make sure everything was ok and my order was processed cause I ordered online two days prior. When I called they said the flowers were delivered the wrong day, the day before. I was not happy, and the I thought…I didn’t hear from her so I guess she she won’t contact me about them since she already has them… The flower shop said the were going to contact her to make sure they were delivered to her. It kind of made me upset because she has never been rude. So alittle time went by and she responded. She said she didn’t want to tell me she got the flowers early because she knew it would upset me. She was very happy cause it was an early surprise and even sent me a picture of the flowers. She thanked me many times and seemed to be in good spirits about everything I did. We then texted alittle the next day, she asked me how everything is going and we chatted for a bit.
My question is what should I do next? I still really do care about her after the NC. I would think she would have to figure I wouldn’t have done nice things for her Bday if I didn’t still have feelings. I also always get confused why she always acts so nice when we talk. I would think by now and esp after a month of not communicating if she didn’t have feeling she wouldn’t have been so nice about the gifts. She wouldn’t have responded or said not to do that ever again.
Rihanna,
“My shadow wants to abandon me!”–I love this phrase! Isn’t it crazy? LOL
sunnyinthegardn,
You have lots of crazy stuff! LOL
I think you should go and talk to him in order to convince yourself for whatsoever! Your idea is awesome! I personally don’t like long distance relationship! If it did not go well, cut it off for good! Be prepared for everything–good & bad!
Sunshine,
Wanna show him you’re independent? Best way is not contact him. Let him see it naturallyMike,
I think you did a nice job! She liked it! Now, I think you have more chances than before!
My suggestion is to think about various topic that may help you have great text conversations like her B’day, her parents, pets, her job/school, etc. When thing go great, ask her for a casual hangout! You can ask her out for a coffee or ice cream where you can talk more and have more eye contacts!
I learnt a funny pickup like lately; “I just had a life changing ice cream/coffee. Let’s have another one tomorrow”.
Mike, I recently realized how important eye contact is! 3 weeks ago, my ex acted like a b**ch and literally kicked me out of her office. I noticed that, she avoided any eye contacts for the 10-15 minutes I tried to talk to her! She did her best to not get involved!
Conclusion: if you end up meeting her! Make sure it’s somewhere you sit in front of her–not beside her!
Best of luck!!
Mike,
Breaking up us hard. There is no real reason why she doesnt feel attracted to yiu anymore. Most of the time we give BS reasons because we try to lessen the pain dealt to to our partners. If your ex told you she found someone else that’s why she is breaking up with you. Can you take it? That would br devastating. Trust me on this buddy. I survived it. Dont dwell on figuring out whats the reason or finding closure. You just have to accept the break up. Closure comes from within. Make peace with tht break up. You dont have to get it from her. The break up is hard enough for her why pressure her for a closure this time?
Goodluck buddy! I hope you do get her back.Daniel,
What you say is true and ideal! If she meet him in person it will be a new episode on sunnyinthegarn’s life–no matter what come’s out! That’s my point!
Dara –
I know! This will be “getting back” or “saying goodbye completely”! I’ll go when I’m ready to say goodbye to him – for good!!!Daniel –
Thank you for your input! I want to meet him in person is mainly because of our mutual friend, I’ll try to make it clear:Our mutual friend hanged out with MY friends together and shared a lot information. But she never mentioned this to me, actually she’s not talking to me anymore. She mentioned how my ex said it’s not possible to get back, and she even mentioned something like “Oh he’s going to visit China if I’m back to China during Christmas, but if I’m not going back, then he’s not either.” First of all, she must be aware that she was talking these to MY friends, then it’s totally possible that they would tell me, and she knew how hurtful those things are! She still said them. Secondly, that’s not the way my ex said things and I can promise it’s not 100% true. Actually, when we were still dating, she would say things that are not true about how my boyfriend thought of me. There will not be things between them though, because of some history about our mutual friend… But all my friends told me that our mutual friend is not genuine and not wanting us to get back together.
That’s why I want to talk to him in person, the relationship is between him and me, I don’t want others to play tricks here!
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