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Posts
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Az,
I thibk you did the right thing. You need some time to think about it. Now that you’re doing great he calls you and begs for another chance. It’s gonna be hard for you to decide. Logically you’re relationship ia not ideal and you are aware of it. So take all the time you need to think about going out with him becauseaking another mistake may ruin you again. Goodluck az. Listen to your heart but process it theough your mind. Loveya friend we dont wanna see you get hurt allover again after what you’ve been through.Hi A.Z – wow that incredible. Kevin’s plan has actually worked for you. If that was what you wanted. What a great place to be in where you don’t even want to get back with him. But the good thing is the ball is now in your court and you get to decide whether you guys get back together or not. Where as the last 7 months he has held the power in deciding about you guys getting back together.
Personally, from what I know about you from the last 3 months off chatting with you on the forums. I think getting back with him would be a bad idea as you are in such a better place and I would hate to see you get dragged back to where you were when we first met. But your decision and think carefully about what you want
Mike,
I’m sorry that I missed your name up there! It’s true! I never felt truly single during my NC! When I asked for numbers or tried to date others there were parts of me that felt like I’m cheating! It was hard to convince that part and they messed my dates/conversations. Now they are gone! Thank you for your compliment! I should add that you should be at least equally wise in getting the point as well!
a.z.,
It’s up to you! Think about it really hard! If you want him don’t play hard on him! If you don’t want him back tell him that you are dating someone else and cut if off for ever!
To be honest, I have lost my faith in this NC and hard games! Honesty is the best policy! Be honest with him and yourself!
Rihanna,
Thank you very much for your complement! I feel bad for calling her b!tch on this website! When she was good she was awesome! Maybe she had good reasons for being so annoying! I wished her the best in my goodbye email and I restate here that I want her to live happy with whomsoever!
I was a “free thinker” today! I believe that I was not single during NC but I am truly single now!
Yes, that’s me! 😉 Your Facebook wall is open to public and I could see that you are updating statuses on your successful poems! You look superb! I had a cousin who looked like you and in my teenage fantasies she was the symbol of beauty!
Sinead,
Hi, my 998th Facebook friend! I am wondering why you have only 5 pics on your wall! 😉 You look awesome too!
a.z.,
I just got update on Steve’s and Daniel’s posts! I insist that think hard over it so that you don’t change your mind over it! To be blunt, I didn’t like the idea that you were looking for special words from him to show that he really wants you back! To me 20 missed calls and calling different friends of your is a clear evidence that he wants you back!
I can understand that he will have and has rough time to convince his family after getting you back! Believe me he is having painful headaches lately!
Steve,
I’m sorry that you had rough time lately fight flu/cold lately. That’s really annoying!
There was a girl that I dated two months ago! She liked a post on my Facebook today and when I looked back at her profile, she looked attractive to me unlike 2 months ago! This means that I am really free and single now–not during my NC!
I still believe she won’t distract me anymore or at least not that much! She played her ace! Next time, if she flirt with a super sexy guy, that would look like a bluff!
Daniel,
Hi!
Daniel and Steve,
How can i tell you i love you guys so much??You guys are amazing.Thank you for your kind words,thank you for your concern xoxo You guys are right.We had a strong connection but our relationship was not perfect.I don’t want to get back with him.
It hurts me so much when i think he is sad/when he cries but then i remember when i cried and it didn’t make him change his mind.
I didn’t say anything about me dating someone but i’m a bit worried about it.I don’t want him to think i’m not getting back with him because of this new guy.
I don’t want to hurt him.I really want him to be happy.I don’t want to get back with him but i really care about him.How can i do/say anything without hurting him?He texted me several times today.I’m trying to be nice to him but how can i finish this without hurting him? 🙁
Dara,
I know but i think its not gonna work.He is really kind and yes he is showing me that he loves me but i’m sure getting back with him is like a huge mistake.
His parents are gonna hate me forever and his close friends will stop talking to him again… .I can’t be that selfish and i don’t want that relationship.I’m wondering what made me expect him to leave everyone because of me 7 months ago.a.z.,
It’s all up to you but I believe he has thought about it before calling you!
Anyway, I still recommend you to think about it for a week or at least reply to your ex after a week to show that you have thought about it. If you want to finish it off, tell him that you are dating someone and you are happy with him! It will hurt him at first but it will help him to move on eventually! Showing that you are single will make him have false hope especially that he did not give up after 7 months!
See I’m free now! 😉
Best of luck my good friend!!
A. Z.
Hi. Nice, the NC worked. It might be an advantage on your part as they say but I think it is a disadvantage too. Because the guy already said he wants you back and your fate depends on your decision whether to give him another chance or not. So for me it’s kinda disadvantage too because it all depends on you now. If you say yes, you might risk another heartbreak especially knowing that you are better off without him. If you say no and he tries to move on, he can tell his friends that he did his best to win you back but you refuse to give him a chance. And if you say no and he really wants to move on it might be hurting you too if you still have a bit of feelings for him. Because by the time he will move on, you’ll be the one to run after him again if you still like him a bit.
So you see, it is like a cyclic process. Now, it depends on you whether to cut it or keep it rolling.
Ask him to give you a week or whatever time you feel like to decide. Because it will be a serious matter. Tell him you need to decide for yourself without distractions so you can think clearly and will not regret sometime later.
But don’t make him wait for too long. He needs that closure too. If ever you say no, tell him that it is for the best and the feeling is no longer mutual. You care but is not inlove anymore. And ask him to respect your decision. When you will say goodbye tell him to cut off any kind of contact or else you’ll be in the cyclic process again of too much drama.
When you let go of the things that no longer serves you, you give way to the things that are more beneficial to you.
Goodluck dear!
Az,
I guess be honest with him. Tell him that you are currently happy without him in your life and happy being single. And that as of now you want things to stay that way. Tell him that both of yoy should keep an open mind. You should keep distance coZ its not the sam as before anymore. Tell him you are not closing doors you can be friends or even lovers but not right now. You both should also accept that fact that you have different lives. Yea yyou are single right now and not dating but you both should be okay with the idea of dating someone else if someone comes along. Do you get my point az? Sorry i cant elaborate it more. Im at loss with words. Dont feel bad for him. Feel good for yourself instead that you are in a great place now. Yes you cared and loved hin once but you’re a changed soul now. He left you for 7mos. And in that time you changed. He cant blame you but he can lame himself for that.You should both accept that there is a possibilty that each of you may find someone worthy of dating. So keep an open mins for now we dont know maybe after a year or months you can get back togther but maybe wont. Only time will tell. Goodluck!
Az,
This is the most important thing that i will tell yoy about your situation.WHATEVER YOU DO YOU WILL BE JUDGED FOR IT. SO DO WHAT WILL MAKE YOU AND ONLY YOU HAPPY! DONT MIND WHAT OTHERS WILL SAY ITS A REFELCTION OF THEM NOT YOU.
We got your back honey. Cheer up!
A.Z
I’m so happy for you, that’s great news! I agree with everyone here… I think you’re in a good place and frame of mind to make your own decisions… Good luck 🙂
Update
My ex has been contacting me LOTS via text and phone calls in the last few days (touch wood lol). He has been showing me extra affection sharing his life plans and asking me for advice etc… He had a big day today and since I’ve made the decision NOT to initiate contact with him he’s the one been initiating contact instead, my plan worked thanks to Raed, Dara, A.Z, Daniel and of course Kevin who adviced me to back off a while ago cos since I did he’s been coming to me which is nice… Anyway, Do you guys think since he’s had a big day today with work and new projects I should text him tomorrow and ask him how it went? OR keep my cool and keep backing off from initiating contact since it’s working in my favour lately?
Dara, thank you for your compliments and it’s nice to be FB friends. I am your 1000th friend and still waiting for that prize 😛 hahaha…
Sunshinegirl here! Just found out I can actually change my nickname and it’s so sunny out there today!!!!
I’m not always commenting here but I have always kept an eye on all of you. And I am so happy that all of you have come here so far!!! Cheers!!
A.z.
I agree with others. Give it some time. You’re so, so strong and I’m sure everything is & will be fine for you!Dara-
Moving on champion! Proud of you!Rihanna,
I am so,so happy for you! I think you may want to stay cool! That’s very attractive!As for me, I am doing really well 🙂 Busy with school and job hunting and my life, I may think about him from time to time, but I don’t get depressed or emotional. And I plan to extend NC for a long time! Until he contacts me 🙂 I feels like there’s no point to initiate the contact since I’m “dumped” haha, I need my dignity and ego! And I’m around 26 days of NC, I still don’t care about seeing his Facebook and asking our mutual friend about him, I feel like cutting him off completely makes me feel a lot better and more self-focused 🙂
All the wishes to everyone!! By the way next Monday is Chinese Mid-Autumn Festival, which you’re supposed to have specific food and gather with family. Well since I’m currently living in the states, I’ll probably celebrate it with my dear friends.. But anyway, happy Mid-Autumn Festival no matter you know it or not!
Have a blast everyone! Hope there’s a beam of sunshine in everyone’s heart 🙂
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