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Posts
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Dara –
Haha as a non-native speaker, I had to read twice to get you 🙂 a bit complicated 😛And I think when you bump into her, you feeling good about yourself is what counts! That’s amazing!!
a.z. –
Thank you for the wishes!
You’re a very strong girl. And I admire that so much 🙂
Hope everything goes well with you too!Hey everyone,I’m home 😀 xoxo
Dara,
Yeah thats strange but the good thing is that you are really strong.You miss her but you don’t get hurt anymore.There are lots of songs that remind me of my ex and i kinda enjoy listening to those songs.It makes me understand how far i have come.
I still miss him but i do believe that everything is gonna be alright and all of us will be fine.a.z.,
About me getting hurt, it during our relationship! It was the time when she would not reply to me! I got hurt enough previously and seeing her does not hurt me anymore. In fact, did not get hurt anymore maybe around 10th day of NC when we bumped into each other and she acted grumpy. I believe only two weeks of NC had made me so strong that I also turned my face away and continued my walk. I became proud of myself for gaining my self-respect back!
You know, when you do something hard for the first time, it becomes much easier to do it for the second time.
This girl does not attract me anymore. What attracts me is the memory of the good days with her.
We talked about it earlier that when we feel bad about anything, we feel bad and start missing. This happens sometimes but the knowledge of how it works helps get well soon!
Yeah thats exactly how i feel about the good memories i just like the good old days not him.Even now its hard for me to believe that he has changed but i do believe that everyone changes because of the circumstance and million other reasons.I mean i have changed.I have been changing all the time so its not really that hard to believe.I remember two weeks before the breakup. he looked me in the eyes and said i can’t believe you are talking like this,i don’t even know you anymore.So yes everyone changes and we should accept it and get on with it and continue living our lives in the best way we can.
I think we don’t have to feel sad about the past.it doesn’t even exist anymore.And we don’t have to be worried about the future cuz it can change in every second.We should live in present and be happy and hopeful and try our best to create the best future.
Hi Dara
Interestingly. I had the same thought last night. I was going through a period of missing my Ex, but as I examined my thought process I began to realise it was not necessary my Ex that I was missing but the memory of the good times we shared.
It is the little things I miss. I miss that feeling of being desired, the conversations we would have at night times, the intimacy that comes from a couple (Yes that’s means I miss the sex). I miss just having someone who I connected with and doing stuff together, even if it was going for a walk along the beach or cooking a meal together.
It is fast approaching 4 months since our breakup and I haven’t see her since the breakup and other then 2 short text messages I have heard nothing from her. Sometimes I hate that as I would love to have a conversation with her and reconnect with her. I genuinely want to know how she is doing and how her career is going. Other times I think I am lucky as I don’t have to reopen any wounds like you hear with some of the stories on these forums. People who see their Ex every second day and are still allowing themselves to be hurt constantly.
I still not entirely sure how I would react if I saw her again.
a.z. –
your latest comment in this post inspired me. Thank you.In china, we have a saying, which is basically saying that “we are getting the good things not by chasing, but by attracting.” I love the way you say “You can’t attract good things cuz all you think about is the negative things that has happened to you. ” And I love your words about “you have to forget the past.You should forget and forgive everything that has happened.When you live in the past you can’t improve your life. ”
After I’ve realized what may have gone wrong in our relationship- yes I forgive myself for not having acting as a perfect girlfriend while my partner had so much stress. I also forgive him for not giving us another chance. I chose to let go any of these because I know both of us deserve better. To better ourselves, we have to forget the past, and embrace and look forward to the future. And I’m hanging in there, not giving up on him, because I know he and our “new” relationship is worth fighting. To achieve that, I also need to let go the negative sides in my life and be positive to attract good things.
You inspired me a.z., you’re such a strong girl and I like you a lot. 🙂
I am very thankful that I have seen so many nice, intelligent and strong people here. I just know you all deserve the best, maybe getting back with ex, maybe getting a better person. But I just know you all deserve the very best.
Steve –
Do you plan to contact her or anything?Not sure if you had seen my comment here:https://www.forum.exbackpermanently.com/boards/topic/im-feelin-too-bad-and-have-no-idea-what-to-think-help-me-pls-smn/
It’s my personal experience that how one of my ex managed to get back with me. To be honest when he contacted me again after NC, I didn’t have feelings for him, but I was not that defensive anymore after few months’ no contact. So I accepted his offer to hang out. And he turned out to be more handsome, more fit and more considerate, which attracted me again.
Not suggesting you to go contact her or anything, but just wanna share my personal experience 🙂
Steve,
I also feel lucky that no one has told me yet that my ex dumped me for someone else or that I have to see her everyday and continue NC pretending like I have great days! I still remember you story–“welcome back” Just imagine if he was a mutual colleague/friend.
A couple of days ago something slightly sh!tty happened. It was drizzling and I took the chance to sit on a lonely stone in front of our apartment. The area is wide open the someone sitting there would look pathetic. A car passed by and I wondered if I had seen it before. I ignored it and sat there thinking about what I want out of my life. I was lost in drizzles and my thoughts that this car passed once again. It was my ex’s colleague passed by once again waving her hand for me! Damn! I hope that she did not assume that how pathetic or lonely I am.
Totally, agree! Good memories haunt us and those good memories can be made again! Who knows, maybe with someone else! 🙂
Sunshinegirl,
Thank you very much.I’m glad that i could be a little helpful.You really are improving your life and i’m sure you are an amazing person xoxoHi Sunshinegirl – To answer your question. the basic timeline of my breakup goes something like.
2nd May – She breaks up with me out of the blue and that first week I called/text just about everyday but she doesn’t pickup. I felt at the time I didn’t get the opportunity to share what was on my heart as the breakup was so sudden. She finally sends me a text asking that I stop and leave her alone. (It was then I Discover this website).I go NC and managed to make 13 days before sending her a text. She responds with a text along the lines of “I was a great guy, but I needed to respect her decision to break up and just leave it be” I go NC and after 32 days I send her a hand written letter. I hear nothing back from her, I wait another week and send her a text regarding her work as I knew she had finished a massive project. I hear nothing back from that. I am now on day 48 of NC from that text.
My Ex has had ample opportunity to contact me, but she chooses not too. I read your thread and maybe in a few months (her birthday is in Nov) if I am still feeling the same I may try again. Right now I just feel I have no cards in my hand to play. So the best thing I can do is focus on myself and move on with my life. Easier said then done.
But then new things may happen in my life 🙂
Also on the plus, the reason my Ex broke up with me was due to her work commitment. She had just started a new job in Mid-march that was very demanding and stressful. To the best of my knowledge she hasn’t been on a date since our breakup. I know she is still single. So I haven’t had to deal with that side of things I see a lot of other people on these forums going through. Where their Ex’s are already dating and in a relationship with another person.
Dara – Happens to me a lot. I walk to work as its about a 15min walk and beats using my car all the time. The amount of days recently I have walked to work and it has started raining during the day and I have had to walk home in the rain. I get really soaked and I know I look so pathetic. Totally get your vibe there buddy
A. Z.
Welcome home, sweetheart! (In a friendly terms) 🙂Dara
Hey. I know what you are saying. When you miss her you find ways to miss her and after sometime you find ways to forget her lolSunshinegirl
I am your ex. The American boy. Lol. I am from PHSteve
Yes, we are just in love with our memories of them.Dara
Why unfriending the ex is a bad idea? I believe, along with Daniel, that it is doing me a favor. I mean, before I just unfollowed her but then it still bothers me so now I would unfriend her because that is what makes me feel comfortable and settled. By still keeping her around and having any connection it’s as if I’m doing her favor and trying to please her. I would unfriend her because I believe it will be for the best 🙂Daniel
I don’t drink, buddy. I am just into milk teas. Ha ha! I don’t even patronize Starbucks or Frappes. Healthy living 😛By the way, I have a post last night here but the internet connection was cut off so I wasn’t able to post. I copied what I should have posted but my phone died and so 🙁 I can no longer remember what I would be telling you 🙁
But anw, Rihanna
I already replied to your post on the wallEdward
I am happpy for you buddy. Yes, we deserve soooo much better! :’)Guys, I think it is just normal when we think of the ex. Although it is fucking annoying at times, really. I believe it is just our mind’s way of processing residual feelings and attachments it has so we can finally move on. Just imagine our minds are scanning all over again the memories we have with the ex as if telling us, “okay take one last good look of this memory because I will put this into trash”
And it might still hurt a bit but after that we will be OKAY. Then little by little, day by day, we will be better until one day we will wake up and we feel best <3
Believe everything happens for a reason. And once we learn how to let go of the things that no longer serves us, we give an opportunity to things we deserve to fall into our hands.
Steve
Hey, the ex broke up with me too on early May ha ha! And she broke up with me because there are lots of people who admires her in her workplace. She told me she sees a lot of opportunity for me. So reading between the lines, it is her subtle way of telling me that she discivered a lot of fishes in that stinky workplace so she wouldn’t just settle for me. What a bitch. Sorry, but yea?So you may have an idea how badly hurt I was and how bitter I am ha ha!
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