Today I am 10 days into the NC rule. I’ve started to feel way better and more confident but I’m worried the no contact isn’t working on the other end. Everyone speaks about “what if he messages me during the NC period” I’m afraid he doesn’t notice I’m ignoring him because he hasn’t tried getting ahold of me nor do I think he will. I know I still want to be with him. I have posted my story in another post and it would help a lot if you’d read that and give me your advice on whether you think this rule is working or will work. I’m afraid I’m just giving him time to move on and he isn’t missing me but I don’t actually know. So please go read my story and give me your opinion/advice on the subject.
Okay, I see by your other posts that you know you were too controlling and always asking if he loves you and if he misses you. Your posts say pretty much the same thing over and over again. I answered a couple of them, but it seems you’re still obsessing over whether or not he misses you. He doesn’t want contact and it’s great to hear you haven’t contacted him for 10 days, but that leaves 20 more to go. I’m sure he’s missing you, but he is extremely upset now and needs time to consider everything. I’m also sure he has noticed you’re not pestering him by more contact. If you get a chance to talk, stay on the subjects without begging or asking the same questions again and again of whether he loves or misses you because it will most likely drive him away. Nobody knows for sure if no contact will work in any given situation, but it will give space to think. If he wants to move on he will do it, whether you contact him or not. If he wants to reunite, he will want to whether you contact him or not. So the best thing is for you to chill out and do things that make you happy.
Best of luck…
Thank you for your advice! It just eats at me every day wondering if he misses me and thinks about me. I’m sure he does but I just always question it. I’m just really worried because he is stubborn and I’m afraid that even if he wanted to speak to me he wouldn’t. I feel that he is confused about what he wants but knows right now he doesn’t want a stressful relationship. Of course this break up has made me realize my mistakes and I don’t want things to be stressful at all but I don’t think he will believe I’ve changed and i dont know how To show him that I have changed and that our relationship can be fun and not stressful.
If he wanted to speak to you he would. He might be confused, but he was extremely stressed by your constant pattern of questions. The 1st step is for you to do no contact for at least 30 days. If he contacts you before that, be calm with a nice casual response. The 2nd step is later you could maybe text him just once to ask if he wants to talk or meet. If he says no, respect that and leave him alone. If he says yes, you have to show him that you are not a whining needy person anymore. However, he may not want to re-enter a relationship with you. He might want a friendship or there’s a possibility he wants to break up completely. Like you said, he probably won’t believe you’ve changed unless you show him over time (if you get the chance).
Night had some good ideas for you, so you might want to go back and review the replies to your 4 posts.