I was with my ex gf for 3 years. we always loved eachother and cared about eachother. But we argued alot and i always forget our arguments while she goes emotional and needs more time to be happy again. 3 months ago she broke up with me due to an argunent and said i will never change and i never admit that im wrong (even tho i do and i appologise). so she blocked me. i tried to contact her via a friend and begged. long story short she came back to me after a week from blocking me.
2 weeks ago. we were in a great date and loving eachother when suddenly we had a fight and i yelled. then she cried. but we finished our date with us holdong eachothers hands. but the other day she keep mentioning that i yelled and i tried to convince her that im srry but you said something that made me yell. then we argued and she said some mean words to me and started ingoring me and replying on a group chat with my friends in it which drove me crazy and made me disrespect her by saying a bad word (its the first tine i used these kind of words with her).So she blocked me and said that we were over. i tried getting her gifts and convincing her that our relationship can be happier, and that we just need to not make a big deal from our fights and love eachother no matter what but she refused. one day she unblocks me so i contact her. she said that she only unblocked me because she dont want us to hate eachother. and blocks me when i talk about our relationship. she unblocked me again and started talking to our group chat (that contains my guy friends) and laughing with them and keep saying hi to them(maybe to make me jalous). so i contacted her privatly and tried to talk her to come back to me. she said no way and that she is happy now that she dont have to argue or fight or be stressed. and blocked me till today.
what should i do. will No contact still work for me now? i was always loyal to her and our fights were on stupid and small issues. and i always appologised when i was wrojg but she never admits that sometimes she caused the fight not me
@theguy You wrote:“… im srry but you said something that made me yell. then we argued and she said some mean words to me” First of all, yelling and mean words destroy relationship over time. Nobody wants to be in an unhappy relationship! To me, it sounds like you two don’t know how to properly interact with each other. Arguments build up resentments and apologies don’t mean anything if the same thing happens over and over again. And it seems you’re jealous of her friendships with others, but I hope you don’t argue about that too. No contact could work if you both work on your issues to resolve your bad behaviors, but it will take time. You should have thought of better ways to respond to her when she said or did things that upset you. Calm conversations (no yelling, no name calling, no swearing etc.) on one end tend to produce calm discussion with the other person!
So stop tying to convince her to reconcile this soon after the break up! Don’t look at social media for awhile as it seems to give you negative thoughts. Continue no contact for at least a month. Only time will tell how this situation works out…
@patricia12 she told our mutual friend that this time its really over because these stuff kept happening and she allready gave me another chance after our first breakup. I hope she comes back to me because I really do love her and i am always ready to make changes but sometimes she misunderstood me and kept doubting me and making me feel that i should be thanksfull that she gave me another chance. those stuff just made me angry. I want to change but i want her also to know my real intensions. Im afraid that i will get replaced by her friends or another guy, and i become someone she hate…
@theguy You should be grateful she gave you another chance, but apparently nothing changed for the better, so she dumped you again. Learn from your mistakes! BTW: nobody can make you yell. You chose to do it. And if you love someone, you should always treat them kindly! And apparently she didn’t always treat you kindly either. You both need to work on improving your bad behaviors. Right now she has bad memories of you, that’s why you need to do no contact. The bad memories might fade over time…
I don’t think she would hate you, but can you understand that she’s happy to be away from all the arguing? She might start dating someone else, but you shouldn’t obsess about that. You need to make the necessary changes, if not for her, for yourself to allow a future possible relationship with someone else to be a happy one.