My boyfriend and I were both in relationships when we met. I had no feelings for him during this time frame until both of us were out of relationships. He always flirted with me but I never felt same at the time. We also work together everyday which makes this harder.
We began dating for about a year and he moved in with me. We had a difficulties do to us trying to adjust to the way the other lives. Things were also really good. His son also lives with us and he gets his daughter on weekends. We made the best of what we had… we built a family, my new granddaughter calls him papa and everything. Which makes it harder for the kids
We live in a small one bedroom apartment so it difficult to get our space. That was probably our first mistake. We should of gotten an apartment together as a couple. He never felt this place was his home.
We try to adjust as best as possibly
I think I eventually pushed him away with my chronic OCD which I overcame a lot but took time
One night a few weeks ago we got into a fight and I found out he went to a
females house to ask for advice about what was going on with us
I flipped out, I threw all his stuff out the door
He was crying and begging me to stop but I was seeing red and couldnt hear his words. I felt hurt and cheated. He begged me to go to the females house to see that nothing was going on but I refused. He took his stuff and left very hurt at my actions.
Few days later he came to talk and told me he was gonna start looking for his own apartment. I was devastated and begged him to stay. He told he will stay with me to see how things go but still wanted his own place that he didn’t feel safe anymore. I prayed everyday that he was here that he would change his mind. He began hanging out with group of friends and I began feeling him drift away. He was liking the single life. I am 46 and he is 43
and at this point in life I feel it also be part of midlife crisis
He began counseling and thats when I sensed him giving up totally
He just kept saying he wants his own place and needs a break
One day this week he came home and took all his clothes and some personal things and went and moved in with one of these new friends. I was crushed but calm. He says he still has love for me and always will but just lost the spark after the fight… he is willing to try again slowly by going back to our days of dating and taking it slow…
But I dont wanna force him…right now we are taking a weekend of no texting or talking and we will get together in few days to come up with next step… I should also add and is a major part of break up is I broke his trust when he found out I tracked his whereabouts on my phone. I never did it before and promised him that never did but I knew the trust was already broken. I took him off my phone and even offered to go to cellphone provider to prove I could no longer have access to his whereabouts
He now is also accusing me of going on his Facebook and blocking people I didn’t like. I never ever did this, I have no access to his account and already promised that I would never do anything like that again…but I understood his mistrust. He sends me mixed signals, not about getting his own place. He is adamant about that but sometimes he will say maybe we can get bigger place together after things seem to work out than he does a 180 flip around and wants nothing to do with me. I don’t wanna lose him and have already begun the steps in article. Writing pros and cons and reasons why break up and how to fix them from happening again and day 2 with no contact. I’m just praying it works
I need help… is there hope for us