@15briannare I honestly still do not know why we broke up til this day. I know I started pushin him away with my mood swings towards the end and then he had an easy way out of the relationship with his friends around and this new girl that was all over him.
I’m gonna have to go with the no contact like @lynnwrigley is saying. It’s my best bet right now. I have been too nice to him he’s gonna know I’ll always be here and take advantage of that. I’m super scared about blocking him but I know it’s the right thing to do. I just don’t want to lose what little friendship we have right now butttttt I know I should. Thank you so much seriously for the advice and ill probably reach out to you guys a lot throughout the no contact because it is going to be super hard to do this all over again. But the fact is he’s still talkin to this girl and he’s also flirting it up on twitter with other girls. I’m also just scared if I block him and not talk to him he’s going to just forget about me and move on even faster.
This is my prediction w/ blocking him and mind you, I am not a professional.
- He will be mad and contact you in some fashion. You will tell him confidently and calmly in whatever way that works for you ‘I loved our time together - learned so very much - I am now moving on as you are. It’s not really up for debate but I wish you the absolute best’. Give no indication what you are actually doing. Give no big emotion. When he ‘reacts’ just say "I need to get going’ and don’t answer any questions, etc.
- He will move on even more for about two weeks - flirting, dating, possibly talking about you to friends - he will NOT be happy.
- When he see’s you are serious, he will start to panic.
- The guy is coming back.
It’s very often the opposite of what we think we should do, that we should do. Oh man, this is going to be harddddd - hard hard hard. Painful. Tough. You will start to feel empowered after about two weeks- you might feel exhausted b/c you the stress of all of this is going to catch up to you - and by week 4, you are going to start thinking a LOT differently.
I would say nothing about him to anyone other than ‘He has chosen to break up with me and I am choosing to move on - I am excited to be on my own and find a guy who wants to be in a relationship with me’. I would EVEN say this to my best friends - anyone and everyone.
Your guy is coming back. It won’t be a matter of ‘will he’ - it will be a matter of IF you want him back…or not. Tables are going to turn.
This is so insanely hard. It’s hard. Actions first (focus on you - new hobbies - maybe some time to yourself - new friends possibly if necessary) and then your mood will eventually follow.
I still have a hard time (so hard) but it’s so different now - it’s tolerable. There is no getting over this - you have to go through the pain of it and that sucks. It sucks. We all have to do it though.
He is going to realize ‘Oh crap, she is not messing around’ - he will test your boundaries - others will test your boundaries - I imagine he will do quite a bit to test you b/c he thinks you will cave back to the girl he knows, sweet Leslie who is there to please him. This time? You will be kind but you won’t cave.
I will come on when you need to talk - support you through it.
K, off for the night - dinner and movies - so wiped out today.
Okay thank you a lot for your advice! It’s only day one on Nc so I’ll probably need some support thought this next month or two! Thank yoh hve a good night!
Also I think what I think what makes this hard for me is because I feel like I’m getting no where cause I already have done to 30 straight days of no contact. And the reason why I would start to txt him here and there being friendly was to try and start off new, I thought I was already following the plan and now I feel like I’m starting all over. But then again, he’s still talking to that girl so idk. But what if the rebound turns into not a rebound. I don’t know no contact though is probably my best option. I just feel like I’m starting all over getting no where
Hmm…yeah, same with my boyfriend (well ex) and I. I don’t understand completely why we broke up. That is absolutely frustrating because it’s harder to move on when the past is still cloudy.
About the twitter thing, you shouldn’t worry much about it. People flirt with others when they don’t feel complete on their own so they use others to give them a small feeling of completeness. I know this because I am like that. And I’m sure you have been checking his twitter feed a lot to see what he’s been up to and how he’s feeling after the breakup. But if you feel like the constant worry of not knowing what he is doing bothers you so much, then just keep “following” him on twitter. Don’t forget to post things yourself proving that you are strong and not desperate for his or any other mans attention. But also, keep up on the NC. Make him wonder why you’ve been so confider after the break up through your posts. Make him become curious of what you’ve been up to. As far as him talking to the other girl, ignore that. It is merely a sign of him being too delicate to be on his own. I doubt that they will be together for long. After all, she is a rebound. Keep your head held high and keep yourself busy. I know as hard as it is, try to push yourself to have other things on your mind. It isn’t healthy to have the extra stress and worry about him. Remember to focus on yourself as well. Hey! Take yourself on a spa day, go to the park alone and read a book, go out to the movies with your friends!!! Stay positive, doll.
Okay thank you! Only day one and I’m already dying hahahah but I got this! Especially with all of your guys’s support thank you seriously
Your new NC is about yourself. You are worrying about so much you cannot control and that is going to destroy your self esteem in the long run.
And NO, do NOT follow him on Twitter and post things to show him ‘you are happy’. This Leslie, is playing games. It’s also a sign of insecurity which you are not…at all.
If you go through the new NC like you are now and not allowing yourself to grow, it’s pretty much a waste of time. Do you know where I got that advice from? Kevin on this site. I would go back and read his plan. He shares that if during the NC you are just focused on ‘him’ and trying to get to him - show him - worry about him - it’s of no use.
I wish you would block him on social media.
I believe if you play games on social media by ‘showing him’ how happy you are, this guy can see through stuff like that so easily (everyone can). Just try to take care of you and actually you really need to focus on growing past this.
Good luck.
@lynnwrigley
I’m so stupid I broke no contact. And I can’t stop crying. I heard he went to the emergency room and wanted to see if he was okay. So I texted him and then I asked if we were friends and he said yeah really happily and then I told him how I found some old funny videos and that me and his friend were laughing at them and he didn’t text me back. I feel so stupid and upset and like there’s no hope and I messed up. I need to just not have a cell phone I feel like ugh.
Hey Leslie and lynnwrigley. I feel I have a very similar situation to you right now Leslie and you have no idea how much I’ve stuffed up. I feel like you’ve been doing much better regarding the no contact in comparison to me. anything my ex says and I just, I always respond and yeah its been hurting me. I’ve spent the last month crying and not even healing much at all. So trust me you’re doing well ! I would love both your opinions on my latest post, I feel we have a similar situation in a way as I’m looking at completely cutting myself off but am scared and have no idea if what I’m doing is right etc. Also how do you link people in the comments ? I’m not a forum pro at all haha.
Leslie, you are NOT stupid - he was in the emergency room!!! I would have texted too! Do NOT beat yourself up. He responded to the first text which was good and the second he did not. It could be any number of reasons but I am sure his ego was big b/c he had his friends with him and then you texting him.
I feel bad for you b/c I know him not texting back had to be so hard. It actually hurts my heart FOR you.
It’s ok though - just go right back to NC. It wasn’t like you broke no contact calling and saying ‘Oh my gosh, I miss you so much, please take me back’. It kind of might be a blessing in disguise - like a small tease - telling you "OK, he is not ready yet’.
What you did? We ALL would do. So, what you did was ‘human’, not stupid. You are a caring person who loves this guy and he was in the ER which is scary.
You are cool. Now you know, ok, he isn’t up for talking yet which means back to NC.
Are you feeling better today?
Oh my gosh, I know the whole ‘take the cell phone away’ - haha. We are women - and not to be trusted with cell phones during no contact or a breakup - lol. I hope you laugh a little (0:
You are OK Leslie. You are doing great. You know that, right? I hope so. So, you have a heart and texted him at the ER. OK, it means you care. If he doesn’t see it now, one day he is going to be regretting now having such a loving person by his side.
Let this make you more ‘mad’…that he didn’t text back the second time. And just go NC. And whoever told you about him being in the ER? Next time they talk to you about him? Act like you don’t care.
I hate games but this guy needs more of a nonchalant Leslie. He makes me mad but that’s just b/c he is hurting your heart - not cool.
I hope you feel a little bit better.
Nattycatty, I hope you are doing ok. You need to start your own thread. So you go to the top of the forum ‘No Contact’ and it will say ‘new thread’. This particular thread is all about Leslie. I was told to do the same thing when I chimed in about my situation on anothers thread. It gets too confusing when you are talking about different relationships on the one thread.
So, start your own thread and we will read it (0:
Thank you @lynnwrigley and I feel so stupid honestly for getting so upset because he did end up texting me back. I told him about the videos and then he said
“I wanna see!!(:”
And so I sent him some which led me to sending one VERY cute and happy video of us and he replied with a "awe haha
@nattycatty1 I will go take a look at your threads!
Lol whoops sorry guys ! I’ve never actually been on a forum ever before ! My university has them for each subject but even then I never use them 
. I thought I was good at using the internet lol obviously not haha I have no idea how this stuff works. Lynnwrigley my post is in reconciliation (again whoops haha didn’t even occur to me, but then again reconciliation is the most active forum). Also Leslie, that seems like a really positive message you got back from your ex. Sending really cute videos and he wanted to see them and thought they were really cute is good! I wish my ex showed that kind of interest regarding how happy we used to be together ! I believe the fact he is interested in those great moments together is a really positive sign 
Thank you @nattycatty1. I just can’t tell if they’re sincere or if he’s just answering out of pitty.
I feel the same way about my ex. As though he’s responding and being there for me purely out of pity. However when I’ve sent cute nice things like that to my ex he’s just like “yeah that was good/nice” not ideal responses in my opinion. However he was interested in what you had to say and show rather than just ending the convo then and there. You two sound like you have some nice memories together especially if you have videos together, sounds lovely to me. I wish I had some really cute nice stuff like that with my ex, though it is good I don’t because I would find myself looking at them too much. I myself have given up completely on my ex 
. Its very hard and sad for me to say that but its the truth. He doesn’t want us to have many happy memories together even as “friends” and I feel like he’s been pushing me to the point where I myself back off making it easy on him because he doesn’t have to back off. I believe you can keep going which is great and super positive as well :). Let me know how you’re managing to get through right now, I’m to the point where I’m so angry and disappointed in his behaviour where I have to do it out of respect for myself but it kills me
Yeah his responses are short though so I feel like he’s just trying to be a nice guy but doesn’t care.
I’m just gonna not contact him anymore. I need to not have hope anymore because having hope just leads to disappointment.
I am at the same point as you @nattycatty1. I’m just sick or wanting someone or being unhealthy sad about someone who doesn’t want me back it’s exhausting.
I honestly do not know how I’m gonna do this but I think I really need to try. I’m sorry you feel the same way.
It hasn’t been that long I don’t think since you guys have broken up and you haven’t actually tried to give a full 30 days of no contact to him it seems like. I’m not saying you’ll get you ex back but it isn’t hopeless. Just do the Nc for at least 30 days and if by then you decide you still wanna try then recontact him casually. But if you decide you actually don’t want to try anymore then you’ve gotten that far at least. Good luck no contact is super hard the first week I feel like then after that it gets a lot easier.
Well hey at least he responds unlike my old ex hey haha. But we are in the exact same boat it seems (though you’re doing a bit better I believe). I’ve tried to throw myself back out there and start chatting to guys again but I don’t know how I feel about it. I just feel sad I can’t wake up next to my ex each morning which was a great feeling. I know I should stop thinking like this but blah don’t know how haha.
I think you’ll be alright, I’m sure you have lots of activities you can throw yourself into right ? I feel like I don’t have that much at all and that drags me down even further unfortunately ! I did actually go to a clairvoyant yesterday which was interesting and very positive and helped me a bit surprisingly. He said he saw new love for me soon and that my ex may try and come back into my life. They were just a few things he said but I didn’t cry at all during my session and it sort of helped me. In my case though I think the 30 days is a bit late now to try and help me get back together with my ex which I am kicking myself for thats for sure. He just used me up til he was done with me emotionally :(. I’ve made too many mistakes to begin with, but you’re lucky cause you’ve made a few mistakes here and there (though I’m sure they seem major right?).
Well how long has it been since the break up? I don’t think it’s too late for Nc at all. @nattycatty1
Its been 5 weeks today actually. We started out friends and I obviously begged and pleaded with him trying to convince him I’d changed, was overly emotional a lot, messaged him hear and there, then he decided he wanted a relationship again and would try anything to make it work then 5 days later changed his mind (I might have been a bit too intense) but we were happy during that time again. That was when he began growing more cold and distant, didn’t message me as often, just dirty messaged me and expected I would be FWB with him which he knew I didn’t want to do. And again only last week I was emotional with him again trying to convince him to give us another chance. So I’ve done everything wrong pretty much :/. He’s moved on and is using tinder regularly to try and pick up girls, snap chatting a new person somewhat regularly i think, or at least receiving them anyway. He also deleted my best friend off Facebook yesterday (not much I know) but he kept her on there and deleted me and all my other friends but has now deleted her