So my ex and I broke up about 4.5 years ago. We were both young, 18 and 20 respectively, and it was a long distance relationship that ended due to my infidelity. At the time of the cheating it was only due to immaturity and bordem but she took me back afterwards and I messed up again but continuing contact with the person I cheated with to try and save that friendship. Bonehead move but I digress. After that I hit another brick wall and started doing the needy/begging behavior and pushed her away even more which lasted about 3-4 months of back and forth texts and conversations. So I finally initiated no contact and that lasted about a year. I then moved on and in a new realtionship got overly invested as she was a rebound and tattooed her name on me. My ex saw this and was upset and reached out to me to communicate that she dislikes the fact that I went that far with the rebound relationship and she was disappointed. All the while she was in her own rebound relationship. We fell out after this and had another period of no contact. When I finally reached back out it was a few months later on a birthday and the interaction had its good and bad. We caught up and expressed that we still saw one another as looking and feeling good but then I took it a bit too far and started the needy behavior again and pushed her to the point of blocking and deleting my number. Here we are a year after that and I have reached out again now that I am in a much better place and actually feeling like a better person. My initial messages was basically “you look goood, hope your doing well, here is my number reach out if you like so we can catch up”. She reached out the same night, we spoke for a few hours that night but then she stopped replying. I sent the last message that night and a goodmorning text the next day just in case she had just fallen asleep but it’s almost 48 hours later and I haven’t heard anything. What could this mean? What steps should I take if any or do I wait it out?
Wow, what a mess. Unfaithful twice and then staying in touch with one of them! Infidelity is one of the major reasons for breakups, impossible to forget, and extremely difficult to forgive.
I’m assuming you’re still long distant, so how is it she saw the tattoo on your rebound?
You’ve reached out enough. If she wants to contact you, she will. Yes, wait it out. Otherwise, you will look needy again.
Have you thought about starting a new fresh relationship with someone local?
Yes, still long distance. She saw the tattoo via stalking my social media during the period of no contact that I asked for and contacted me via another social media outlet she knew I would check to complain to me about such an agreesive change of course. I have moved on since and have been in a relationship for about 2 years but there is something about THIS ex I still can’t let go of.
Well, you are cheating (emotionally)! You’re in a relationship and yet you’re contacting your ex.
I suggest you either stay with the one you’re with now if you love her OR break up and then pursue your ex.