My ex and I recently broke up after being together over a year. We had our ups and downs and off and on relationship, everything with our relationship was great we deeply loved each other and were very passionate about our relationship and what we had and we were best friends. The last few weeks we were together we broke up we didn’t talk for a couple of days but then she sent me a text one night asking if we could talk, so we did and she started to say she wanted to be friends, that lasted for a day or two and then it went back to how it was before the break up,saying things like I love you and miss you and back to calling each other pet name’s like we had done for our entire relationship. The last couple of days we were together, I planned a romantic night for her because she had a stressful week, due to class work and assignments ( she’s in college) I basically pampered her and we had an amazing evening as a couple in love. The following night she went to a Halloween party with family and the next day before she went back to school she came over to see me for a couple hour’s as she always did, we talked, hugged and kissed and held each other and made plans for the next weekend. Monday came and I received a message that said that she wants to stop with the pet names and those things and that she wants to be friends and that we need each other in our lives because we are best friends and she didn’t want to lose me. This left me completely confused, I couldn’t understand how this happened after we had such an amazing weekend. She told me she wants to be single and try that life out, a day or two went by and we talked and she said she met someone else that she was talking to, during this conversation I made a comment about “you and this new guy” which her reply was this new guy his name is Jake and he is a great guy. She told me they were going out this weekend and during that conversation. After that we didn’t talk for a couple more days but my mother talk to the both of us ( she has a very good relationship with her) and told us that we need to get this figured out. During that talk ( which lasted 25 minutes) with my ex about setting up a time to meet nearing the end she pointed out that she was on the phone with Jake and had to go. The next text she sent me told me that we will talk about this but in the meantime all communication needs to stop until she texts me about when she will meet to talk to me, previously she said she would be home this coming Wednesday. Now that I got the background out, I don’t know what to do. I want to be with her she is everything to me and I want to be friends with her too like we had been for so long. Is this new relationship she a rebound? Should I go through with the meet up when she messages me or should I just walk away which is something I’m afraid to do?
@NickolasB - Young people like to explore life and figure out what they want. And it sounds like she’s really young, being in college and all. You didn’t state exactly why she broke up with you, but distance might have a little bit to do with it also. Don’t contact her, but when she contact you about a meet up, go and see what she has to say. But don’t beg and don’t bring up Jake! Good luck.
As I started reading your post, I figured she was going out with someone else when I got to the “just be friends” part. And then it was clear she was. She was most likely doing that while she was going out with you.
She probably started going out with Jake and then tried to “just be friends” with you. That didn’t work and she got in too deep and was going out with both of you at the same time. She made a decision to go with the other guy the second time she said she just wanted to be friends. My 2 cents is you need to go NC on this one. Anything else is just heartache and will drive her way. If she comes back, it needs to be her decision, you can’t make it for her and she’s going out with someone else right now.