My ex and I broke up almost 3 months ago, she broke it off, after being in a relationship with her for 5 years, reason being I wasn’t giving her the emotional connection she wanted. She wanted the little things like be open about my emotions, I usually kept everything bottled up, send her cute little notes, buy her flowers more often than I did, which was a few times out of the year, little things like that. I did tell her I loved her all the time and how pretty she looked. Instead I bought her love and get her expensive gifts and what not. I started NC for about a month and reached out to her after 30 days. Since then we’ve been texting and hanging out constantly. We agreed that we wouldn’t rush back into a relationship so soon and that we would take things slow and build a strong foundation to base our “new” relationship on, although she just wants to be friends right now. I told her how I still love her and that I was committed to us even though we’re not in a relationship and I want a future with her, we always talked about getting married and having kids, but she says she doesn’t want to feel pressured or overwhelmed about getting back together. She even mentions how she was happy being single and how she doesn’t have to answer to anybody and how she goes out a lot more with her friends. I would show a bit of affection here and there and some days she would love it and other days she’d tell me to stop. But then she would out of the blue say things like if another girl would come into your life I’m not leaving. On several occasions she would ask me to spend the night and up until recently I’ve been staying at her place a few days out of the week, 5 days in a row last week and 3 this week. On a couple of occasions we’ve even had sex and she initiated them. Although after sex she would say we can’t do this and that it was too emotional and hard for her but then we have sex again a few nights later. I still love her and she’s told me that she still loves me too but doesn’t want a relationship right now. She says she still wants me in her life and doesn’t want to completely cut me out so that’s why we constantly text and hang out. I know she’s scared because she thinks that I’m changing for a couple months so we can get back together and then go back to my old self but I’ve been working on myself so it doesn’t happen. I understand it’s a case of too little too late sort of thing but I want to convince her otherwise. I don’t know if being friends and let her come to me is the best thing or should I just give her space and hope she finds her way back to me.
@dominick10 - You are giving her the benefits of a relationship (time + sex), but without actually being in a loving exclusive relationship. That is NOT taking things slow! She said she’s happy being single and doesn’t want a relationship now, so STOP texting and hanging out so much and DON’T have sex again! Tell her you’re making improvements for yourself so that any relationship in the future with her or someone else would be a better one. Then give her space. Good luck.