Hi, I just wanted an outside look on my situation and get some advice
For some quick backstory, we broke up 2 months ago after 9 months being together, everything was really good but his mental health got in the way, and when he got diagnosed with severe depression, things started to be quite hard for both of us, and he decided to break up. We broke up very amicably, kissing and crying, saying it was for the best right now, and that hopefully weāll find eachother in the future.
I did really well with no contact and myself. We didnāt really speak for about a month and a half. I did really well on my side, focused on myself and got my life together. We werenāt speaking until Christmas, when he sent me a really nice text thanking me for everything and wishing me a merry Christmas etc. We talked quite a lot that night and it was really nice. I said when weāre both back in town itād be nice to catch up and he didnāt reply so I left it there. 2 days later he texts me saying that heās really proud he got to date me with an āxā. We spoke all afternoon that day, and he was quite flirty. Then I left it and we texted a little bit but nothing much. On new yearās eve we were both back in town and texting, and very late in the night he asked where I was and met me at the party I was at. We had a really fun time, just like before laughing flirting etc. A few days later he sends me something āI might likeā. His birthday was coming up and he invited me to his party the following week end. I asked him if I could give him his present on the actual date and he said of course and invited me for coffee. We met up that day, and I was actually the only person he saw during the day. Obviously at first it was a bit weird, but we ended up spending 3hours together and the conversation was really deep and really nice. When we left it was that weird āare we gonna kissā moment because of how nice it was. We hugged bye and he asked me again to come to his party. I now know from a friend of mine that he felt exactly like me, but is glad that we didnāt kiss because he made a decision and needs to stick to it basically. I donāt really know what to make of everything right now, I think it is still quite early and I want to take things really slow and be really chill about it, but I also want to know if thereās any hope there? I think itās quite clear thereās definitely attraction here and probably feelings too. I was wondering what I should do now? Iām not texting him, when I suggested we see eachother again in the conversation he smiled and said ok, when we met up he kept complimenting me, acted quite jealous and told me his mum really misses me. But then (Iām happy about it too though) he says heās happy we didnāt kiss?
You both might need therapy for depression. Just keep taking it slow and donāt worry about every tiny detail.
It seems like the no contact worked well and there was time to work on yourselves. There is definitely moments where it shows that you guys enjoy spending time together and do miss each other a lot. Keep taking it slow and keep it casual. Since he decided to break it off, he probably feels guilty for ending the relationship and hurting you. As someone who did the dumping, getting rejected is also as terrifying. Perhaps he needs more time to reflect whatās the best for him. If you feel that youāre ready to restart a relationship, try to hint a nudge about it. If he feels ready as well, maybe you will try to be more pursuing.
Also if he says that heās happy that you guys didnāt kiss. It could be because he really appreciates that itās not something rushed but a slow paced intimacy. A relationship, if youāre pursuing one, shouldnāt feel like itās something that was continued from before but a new one since you two are New yous.
@patricia12 he has a therapist and did all the necessary things for him to get out of it, he seems already a lot better
@AndyNC thanks for your reply! I think he definitely needs a bit more time, Iām glad we didnāt kiss either it would have been really confusing on our first official meet up. But itās always hard to question whereas heās done with me or if thereās still hope. We havenāt really talked since, I think Iām going to leave it here until his party, so that it doesnāt feel like thereās any pressure coming from me.