Sorry for all the multiple posts, I am just so confused about everything that happened today.
Did I made a mistake saying we can stay on friendly terms? Or what do you guys think? He said he wanted us to stay on friendly terms, by that he means not be enemies. And I jumped right in and said that I din´t want us to be enemies either, so I agreed on the friendly terms with him. I just thought that it would be better if he could let go of his anger towards me and see the good side of me I know he loves, so it would be easier to start the false friendship at some point. What should I do, did I screw it up completely? Is there no turning back now? I said to him to let me know when he wanted to pick up his stuff, and wished him a good day tomorrow since it´s his birthday. I am from Norway, so my translating of the texts above sounds better in norwegian. Does he feel that he can just move on now and forget about me?
I think I messed it up by saying I cared for him and all that stuff. What the hell should I do is the reversible in any way? I dont´t want him to think I am okay with the break up, I just wanted him to know that I understand that he needs to figure out he´s life. And I wanted him to feel that I am here for him, I am totally freaking out that I messed it all up now. What do you guys think? The first conversation today went really bad, as I was feeling very hurt, and he was so defensive and harsh, I did cry a bit. But when he called me later on his mood had changed and he talked and talked, and I managed to keep my emotions under control. Is there any point in continue the no contact now? Will he even notice it?
I really did ruined all my chances didn’t I? Just read on another page that you should go into no contact straight away after the break up, and that you should not agree to the friendly terms because then you will just become a safety net and he will forget all about me and wont miss me.
It took me a long time but ive read everything.
Your text was ok dont worry about it much.
For your own sake start no contact NOW.
The guy is taking out his frustrations out on you and its immature and not fair to you. You seem like a nice person:).
So do no contact. It will help you a lot.
I am so sorry for all the posts, I am just freaking out here. He blew up on friday night a week ago and ended it, he was drunk and angry about nothing. He is deeply depressed. There was a lot of phone calls that night from him due to his behaviour. So we didn´t spoke until monday when he called me,then I decided that I would have no contact with him if he didn`t contacted me. And I broke it today 
I just could´t help myself. And I needed to ask him how we wore going to handle the money he owed me and the stuff he have here, it´s not a lot, a t-shirt and a sweat. I tried to be polite and calm, and it all went downhill, he just got so angry and said the meanest things all of a sudden. I was hurt and I cried a bit and tried to talk some sense into him. I never say mean things to him, and I have never did. I don´t know what happened afterwards, but a few hours later he called and he sounded completely different. Like he was feeling guilty, I don´t know. The conversation lasted for 15 minutes, which is a bit of time I think, we did not talk spesifically about the break up, but memories, him and his health and so on. And a half an hour later after we hung up I got the text from him where he said that he was sad as well. I am just so scared that my answer will spin in a negative way, and that he would lose his romantic feelings for me know? And consider me as a safety net? Would no contact make any sense now? I really do want him back, I just can´t picture a life without him, I never have. I feel that he is the one, I have never felt like this for anyone else. Is it to late, does he really mean it this time? I have recieved similar text before when we had broken up.
RULE: Never express emotion to your ex when he/she drunk dials you. Never! Always remember this.
I feel for you honestly. The best thing ypu can do is NC. We are here for you and we can help you get throught it. Ypu will feel much better afterwards.
There is a thread in NC section where your can write you can count the days and state your difficulties. We will help you.
When he blew up last friday night over nothing and kept valling and acting like a crazy person I just listened and tried to talk sense in to him. I was at home and he was out and had gotten very drunk. If you have read my first post in this thread you will see that he blew up over me adding a person on Facebook which he obviously got jealous of. And then he just used that as an excuse, for suddenly everything was wrong. He is struggling a lot mentally. When we talked on Monday I managed to stay calm and just sad what I wasn’t okay with regarding his behavior on Friday night. And he talked about other things as well, and said he would call me one day. I managed to stay out of contact until today. I made a terrible mistake contacting him. But it seemed like he tried to express emotions when he called back and sent that text. Now I am just scared that he will just forget about me. How will he wonder what happened to me when we spoke today if I continue the no contact now? Will it have any effect? I guess he was wondering a bit what I was up to until I contacted him today. I was just trying to figure out a way for him to pay back the money and his stuff. Is it to late now? I am thinking about the text he sent me and my respond. Is it possible to reverse this? To make him miss me?
Hi Maren,
Okay, the friends thing, you might not be able to talk to them about the relationship anymore. If they don’t understand you can’t hold that against them. They care about you and they don’t like to see you hurt by this guy, that’s why they tell you to move on. Obviously, that isn’t helping you right now, and they are not being very sympathetic either. It might be best to not talk about the relationship with them if it’s making you feel bad or they are putting you down.
Start NC now as suggested. Your ex said he needed space last you spoke and then you messaged him about his stuff. To him that makes you look needy and it also makes him feel like you didn’t listen to him or understand what he wanted. It’s okay though, it’s a mistake most of us have made too. As long as you back off and do NC now you can fix it.
You didn’t ruin anything with your text. Don’t over think it. It will be okay. Commit to doing NC so that you can feel better and less panicked. Your ex will also feel like you are respecting his wishes for space and start to wander about what you are up to. The only way he will not miss you is if you keep talking to each other.
You’ve been his rock these past twp years. I want you to withdraw that attention from him. He will be angry at first but he’ll start missing you and yearning for you. NC is the best right now. Follow it strictly. You will get him back
My friends do not understand at all. They keep saying that it’s over now and I should just forget about him. That he won’t miss me and he is just going to move on. But I don’t want to give up on him, still I don’t see the point in fighting if he is just going to forget all about me when he doesn’t hear from me anymore and just be glad and move on to some other girl? I just feels like he just sat a finish line with his text, what do you think? Is it possible to reverse this? I just feel that he is rubbing his hands of me now, am I right? He kept talking about drama, he couldn’t handle that around him when he is as depressed as he is now, he was referring to all that happened last weekend when he got so upset and angry with me for that I had become friends with this guy on Facebook, which he obviously didn’t like and blew up. He made a lot of drama about it. I really didn’t think that saying yes to a friend request from a former friend would mean a thing, cause it didn’t mean a thing to me, I didn’t even think about it, people become friends with other people on Facebook all the time. He had already been weird the night before and said that he needed space for himself, and that he was going to call me the other day. And he did, he just did it when he was drunk and worked up. It was he that made the drama. I don’t want him to have negative association towards me. Will he ever want me back or is he done forever? I just can’t get rid of the feeling that he is going to find some other girl. It’s his birthday today, and his sister posted a congratulation status on her Facebook with a picture of her and my ex. It made me so sad, I thought about how much fun we had last year when we celebrated his birthday. It made me cry, that I am not a part of that this year. I know he is just going to celebrate with his family and son (he is 7 years old) since he have him this weekend, and that he probably will be out drinking next weekend. I can’t stop thinking about all the girls that probably will wish him
Happy birthday and if that girl he slept with the last time we wore apart gives him congratulate and that it will mean something to him.
He had a one night stand with a girl when he was out on the town when we wore broken up the last time. He said that he missed me like crazy and was trying to get over me, and sleeping with this girl only made him feel worse and miss me more. I am just so scared that he will not feel the same this time. That he won’t miss me like that this time and just hook up with girl after girl.
Wish him a happy birthday. Make it short.
Then start strict NC.
I did wish him a happy birthday yesterday in our last conversation and on the text. Is there any point of doing that today? I am just so sad that he will be celebrating without me this year. We had so much fun last year. I love birthdays and I go all out with details and everything. I just can’t stop crying. We have been through so much together, and I have been there for him and with him through this hard time when he got the cancer. I just don’t want to throw this away, I don’t want to give up on us. Is there any way we can get back together or has he made up his mind for good now?
My friends just keep saying to forget him and so on. They don’t see the point in not giving up. One of my friends keep saying that the texts yesterday was the end, like the final closure? Do you guys agree?
No i dont agree. You can get him back.
Focus on yourself and your daughter from now on. No need to wish him a happy birthday again.
I feel that I have made some mistakes in this process as well, like the night he blew up and he called several times, I called him back when he hung up on me, and he called and it went on forever. The day after, Saturday I was picking something up at his parents house, this was planned for some days, but he had forgot about it, so he was mad that I went and got it and accused me of just showing up. I don’t know what got into him. Then I stayed away until he called me on Monday. The guy that I became friends with on Facebook which he has as a friend on Facebook as well, asked me why I deleted him after adding him, so I explained briefly what had happend. I guess the guy felt it was his fault for sending me a friend request, so he contacted my ex to say that he wasn’t interested at me at all and that it was not his attention when he sent me the request.y ex didn’t like that and I didn’t ask this person to do this either, but I think he just wanted to help. I don’t know if that was really bad that this person got involved. But my ex is clearly very sensitive and blows up over nothing these days due to his depression and struggles. And of course I contacted him yesterday, which I should not have done. I should just have sticked to no contact. What should I do to get him back? I know I need to use the no contact, but for how long, and what if he never contacts me? How do I make him see me in a new light? And miss me? I am just afraid that he has made up his mind now and that there is no point in me trying?
I am so sorry for all the posts, I am just terrified that this is it for us. I really do not want to give up. I am just scared he will forget about me and feel that he is better off without me after a while. What if he doesn’t miss me? Or thinks about me? That he felt this texts where final closure? I get sick thinking about him finding someone else right away, and I am over here trying to get him back?
Did he unblock you from facebook?