I have tried to work on myself. I am studying at the university and I have a daughter who is 3,5 years. So I have been out playing in the snow with her a couple of times, I have also been out for a walk. But I have no energy. All I wanna do is to sleep, but I can’t, and it’s hard. I miss him so much. I am used to taking to him everyday. And it’s really hurtful that he deleted me on Facebook. Is that to forget me? He did it in the heat of the moment, he did unblock me, but he doesn’t seem interested in being friends on Facebook. I can’t help but feel that I did something wrong even though I know I didn’t. I just feel so lost. When I think about him and other girls I get this awful stomach pain, and I just want to lay down. I will not contact him on his birthday then, and hold on to his gift for another time. He knows I have a present for him, I told him a few weeks back. I am so scared that things won’t work out. That he doesn’t think of me like that anymore. I feel him not saying that he is cutting me out completely is because he might be scared of losing me completely. But I don’t know, his action doesn’t show it though. It just feels like he is trying to forget me when he can’t be friends with me on Facebook. I just feel like a lost case. I have been through so much with him. We have battled cancer together, I have layed beside him in the hospital bed when he has recievd chemotherapy. I have been there for him all the way. Month after months in the hospital. 1,5 years ago he gave me this love ring in white gold with a little diamond on it for mye birthday. I have worn it ever since, never taken it off. I know he spent a lot of money on it. Should I take it off or what should I do?
It sounds like you have some great things going on in your life. 
Going to university is awesome, and you have your little girl. Two very cool things! Great job on getting out to play and going for a walk. Little things like that add up. Even if you can only manage to do one thing like that a day it will help.
I went through similar things when I had my breakup. Couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, just thought about the most awful stuff and situations all day long. It will get better with time and the NC does help with that too. As a recommendation, if you have trouble sleeping at night, I took Zzzquil for a couple weeks after the breakup and it helped me sleep. You can also take melatonin, it’s all natural and will do the same thing.
I don’t think he deleted you on fb to forget you. It seems more like an immature reaction because he was angry, and especially since he took it back so soon afterwards. I think he isn’t adding you back as a friend because of his pride. Most men are like this and will feel like they have to stick to their decision even if they start to feel differently. I wouldn’t think too much of it right now. It might be a good thing, you both need some space, and after him being so angry he needs time to cool off.
I think you sound like a good woman and he has been lucky to have you. I think he has taken the relationship and you for granted and not appreciated what he had. A lesser woman would have left after all the hardship you two went through. I commend you on that, I can tell it wasn’t easy.
For your ring, what do you want to do? If it makes you think of painful memories to wear it, then take it off and put it away someplace. If you still enjoy it and think happy things from it, then you can still wear it. It’s totally up to you, do what you feel is best.
Thanks for the advice on the sleeping stuff. I will check that out. It’s really hard to fall a sleep even though that is all I want. I keep thinking and thinking about alle kind of awful things. I go over and over the break up situation all the time and I try to figure out how I could have done things differently in order to prevent that situation. But I know it wasn’t my fault, it just truly feels like it. I know I screwed up to, but they way he did things and the reaction he had just makes me feel that he does not have any feelings for me, and that he doesn’t like me anymore. The week before I have showed some insecurities, but not in a bad way. No one is perfect all the time. I am just killing myself over and over about the situation, I just can’t relax. I think about him all day and wish that he would call me or text me. I just can’t understand that after everything we have been through he is willing to throw it all away like this? I was really there for him through the cancer. He almost died, and he was very ill at times, but I was there, being strong for him. I go to university and I work as a teacher, for his birthday last year I got him a trip to France as he turned 30 and had survived cancer. It was such an amazing trip, we had so much fun. Can it be like that again? I really do miss him and feel so lonely without him. I have read the relationship rewind, and I don’t feel that we are at deaths door, but somewhere in the middle of situation 3 and 4 (which is deaths door). I don’t know what to think. My ex is a phone person, he loves to talk on the phone and he loves to send messages. I don’t know if a hand written letter would work on him, since he I such a phone person. I really wish we could be friends on Facebook, it’s just sad that he had to do it like this. I am so scared that he hates me or don’t have any feelings left for me.
I haven’t spoken to my ex since Monday, he called me and we spoke for like 15 minutes. Before that I had not spoken to him since Friday night when he blew up and broke it off. I am devastated. I don’t know how I am going to keep up the no contact. And if he would actually miss me during this time or just move on. I am scared to contact him, cause what if he don’t pick up or is still mad. I had a moment earlier where I believed that this will work out, because it has work out so many times before. And then I just get this devestating feeling that this time it won’t. He has never deleted me on Facebook before, I just feel it’s a sign, I don’t know. I am laying here crying my eyes out. Wondering what he’s doing, who he’s talking to and if he thinks about me at all.
I just feel that he is a quick mover. So I am scared he has already moved on or starting to.
How do you all cope? I read all this horrible stories here, and I am freaking out. I am so scared and devastated at the same time 
what if it could never work again?
I am freaking out, I can’t stop crying. What if he doesn’t miss me or thinks about me. And his already talking to another girl. I just can’t handle the thought of this not working out.
It’s impossible to forget those things hon. Believe me. I’ve had some nasty falling outs before with friends and I still remember them to this day and miss them. And these are people from over 10 years ago! If you two shared a special, intimate bond, as many of us have, it’s even more strong and cannot be forgotten so easily. Take a few deep breaths, close your eyes, and count to 10 while drawing the numbers mentally.
I’ve found that either doing that, or sitting/laying down and focusing on your inhale/exhale, your heart beat, feeling your heartbeat, and the air moving through your nose will calm your brain down. People can only focus on 3 or 4 things at one time, so this should help.
I just cant handle the thought of him moving on to someone else. I know he has his son from today until sunday, he told me on the phone on monday. But after that he will be free to date everyday the next couple of weeks except one day each week before he gets his son again the weekend after that. I feel like a wreck thinking about him already with another girl. And I cant help but think that this is not going to be fixable this time. And I really really want it to be. On monday is still seemed that he was interested in maybe working it out in the future, but at the same time not. And him deleting me on facebook in anger because he was jealous just feels like he wants to cut me out and just forget about me.
Am I the only one sitting around being sad and miserable? Is he sad or does he just think he is better off? We have been through so much. I just want to call him all the time. We talk a lot on the phone, so not talking to him is painful. And if I do try to contact him one day, I am scared that he will not answer.
NC will help you to feel less upset. When you talk to him it opens up all of the emotions and keeps you in high gear. I know it seems counter intuitive, especially when you want to speak to him so badly, but you need the breathing room right now, especially since you are in a panic/fear state. It’s like your ex is a drug, and you need to break the addiction. You also want to give your ex time to miss you and think about you, which you can’t do if you keep talking.
I know how you are feeling because I went through all the same emotions and thoughts too. I know it feels like these thoughts will never end, but they do. Really.
I know it’s hard but try not to read too much into the fb thing. If he wanted to cut you out and forget about you, he would have left you blocked. He called you on Monday, if he wanted to forget you, he wouldn’t have done that.
Even the dumpers are sad and upset about a breakup. Even if they try to put on a happy face and date or whatever, they are still going through some hurt and sadness too. Most of them will never tell you or admit to it though.
I just can’t help to think that this no contact won’t work, that he won’t be thinking about me or missing me. I feel that he is a person that moves on quickly. There has been some back and forth hence to his struggles with depression where he sometimes has cut contact with everybody for a little while, but he has always wanted it to be us. I keep hoping he will call me but the phone never rings. I really do feel and has felt since the day I met him that he is the one. It’s just so sad that it is his birthday tomorrow, and he knows I love birthdays. I always make it very special and go all out with the details. I had something planned this year as well, and it’s just sad to think that it won’t happen this year. I just can’t help but wondering if he would miss that. The devestating feeling that he will find someone else or has already found someone is literally killing me. I am so scared.
I am so scared that he doesn’t think of me in that way anymore. When he called on Monday he said he needed time, I didn’t mention our relationship in specifics, he just said he needed time. He was still upset with me, even though he dosen’t have anything to be upset about. When the conversation ended he said that he would call eventually. I don’t know if he said that to be polite or if he really meant it. I really do want to fix this. I am just freaking out that I am the only one of us that wants to. And the idea of him hooking up with another girl next time he is out on the town is devestating.
I have some friends that is always saying that I should forget about him, move on and so on. They have never seen the point in getting back together with someone. When I say I hope we can work things out, they right away poison my mind with statements that they can’t understand why I bother, just forget about him etc. They really put me down. They don’t see any point in fighting for anything. Can’t help but think that they can not have been deeply in love before. What should I do?
We had contact over the phone since he has some clothes here and owes me money. He was really in a bad mood and kept saying he was over this and needed time for himself and to figure out his life and so on. He was so angry and furious. It doesn’t seem like we have any chance of getting back together. He really do hates me.
I should never had contacted him, i just couldn’t help myself. He should have payed that money months ago. And he still needs to get his stuff. I was very kind and ask politely how he wanted to do this. And he was so mad and so angry. And we started to talk about the break up, and it all went downhill. Is this reversible in any way?
Have I screwed things up for good?
Is there any point anymore? When he is this mad? This is the first time I have contacted him. He contacted me on Monday. I just wanted to sort things out with the money and the stuff he has here. He really blames the break up on me. And says he can’t deal with the drama, that I am drama and so on.
Help someone!
Does anyone have some view on the situation. He called me back again a few hours later. We talked for like 15 minutes, he seemed in a better mood. I could hear that he was still a bit angry, and he probably would be for some time. We even laughed a couple of times through the conversation even though it was only a little. We did not talk anymore about what happened last weekend, or that he his mad or nothing like that. We just talked about his health situation, some memories from his birthday last year and so on. I gave him some compliments on his progress after the cancer battle and stuff like that. He said that he would pick up his t-shirt one day, and he asked for my bank account so that he could transfer the money. I feel so stupid for asking about the money, I really wish I had not contacted him and would have waited for him to reach out to me. On monday when he called he said that he would call me one day, he did not say that now. But it still was a positive conversation compared to earlier in the day. I am so scared of losing him forever. Have I really screwed things up now? Is there no way we can get back together? It must mean something that he calls me a few hours later does it not?
I just cant shake of the feeling that he will meet someone else or have already met someone else. What if he can never look at me in that way anymore? It feels like his feelings for me is gone and just replaced it with anger and bad feelings towards me. Is there any way after everything we have been through that he can see me as the person he usually likes? And would want me like that again? It just feels like he has made up his mind completely… Should I send him my bank account number right away? I dont want this to be the last time I speak to him. I am scared that if we do not talk for 30 days or more, that he will not miss me and just move on. Or that he will not call me. He has always called me after a while if I have used no contact before when he has had his difficult times. But this time it just feels different, like there is no turning back and he just dont want me like that anymore. I feel him deleting me on facebook says a lot, he has not done that before, I know he did it in the heat of the moment when he was so upset, and he unblocked me, but it doesn´t seem like I will get a friend request from him anytime soon. Should I just give up?
I desperetly need advice on this.
After our last conversation I received this text form him: “Of course I am sad to, it´s not easy. But I have to figure out some stuff in my life so I just can´t handle anyone else right now. But I hope we can still stay friends. I want to thank you for everything you have done for me, I really appreciate it. I wish you all the best in life”.
I respond that “I appreciate he´s message, that I accept that he needs time for himself right now to figure things out in your life. You have been through a lot the last years, and to find your way back is hard and it will take time, but I know that with your strength and courage that you will be better. I wish to stay friends as well, I care about you and that doesn´t just go away. Congratulate on your birthday tomorrow, hope you have a wonderful day:)”.
Was i wrong to respond that? Does he think that we can both move on now and that there is no more chance for us?