My girlfriend of almost 4 years broke up with me through text at the beginning of February. It’s an odd situation that has led me down a confused path.
Her father got arrested in December. He is on the verge of getting kicked out of the country. Obviously, she has been devastated ever since. I tried my best to be there for her, but she goes to school full-time and works 2 jobs. At first, she indicated to me that she loves me with all her heart, but she doesn’t love herself anymore. Explained that she needed space to figure things out. I tried to be very understanding. After a weekend went past, I reached out to her and explained that she was the love of my life and I wanted to be there for her to go through the good and the bad. & that I was willing to wait while she was going through this.
She asked to meet in person and told me that she felt we’ve been drifting towards friends over the past year and she’s sorry that she has to break my heart. She explained that she has to be selfish. I was devastated. Two weeks went by and I went down her house to explain to her how much I loved her and I know that I made mistakes, but I’m willing to work on them. I said that I know she has a lot going on, but I want to be there for her.
She explained that her feelings have nothing to do with what’s going on in her life and that she just doesn’t have the same love for me that I do for her right now and she’s not sure if she ever will. She said that I didn’t make her a priority and she’s been wanting to break up for a while, but was afraid to because our families are so close. (we spoke about making a family and marriage several times, but wanted to wait until she got out of school. We spoke about it before and after the situation with her father. I was going to propose in May). She has been very cold and mean now. We haven’t spoke much since. I’ve stayed very calm and didn’t argue with her through any of this.
In my self-reflection, I realized that it may of seemed like she wasn’t my #1 priority at times. However, she always was in my heart. I hung out with my friends probably a little too much & took her around my friends instead of spending more 1-on-1 time together. I just felt so comfortable with her and I thought she liked joining me. Like all relationships, we would argue from time to time. Our communication was constant and I never noticed any unhappiness. Friends and family have said the same thing - in fact, many thought we were the perfect couple.
I’m just worried if she is just really mentally screwed up right now or does she really only look at me as a friend and not love me anymore. Did I push too much? I’m scared I’ve lost her forever. Sorry for the long post, I’ll answer any questions.